Sunday, September 28, 2014

My family is a little bit nutty!!

My family is a little bit cooky. All of them. They all try to act on the sane spectrum, but if we're being perfectly honest, they're just trying to fool some people. When I moved to Alabama I learned a poem and it just seemed to describe my family (and friends) perfectly. I have no clue who wrote it, or if a bunch of random people wrote it, BUT I wanted to share it anyways. Also, this guy in the picture with me is my cousin.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Walt Disney wasn't always right, but the man did have his moments.

Y'all know that I made the decision to move to Indiana awhile back. Almost two years, actually. Two years next month. I made that decision solely based on the facts that I had in front of me. Those facts were I didn't know what I was going to do, nothing was what I thought that it would ever be, and I was the unhappiest that I've been in a very long time. I assume the only thing that you can do when you're that unhappy and you feel like the walls are not just closing in on you, but actually collapsing on top of you, is change. So, that's what I did. I made the decision, the plan, and the arrangements to do so. And when I say the plan, what I really mean is I decided that we (me, Momma, and Tayder) were moving and that was about the extent of that one.

I was having issues at work, and it just seemed like I had outgrown that part of my life. So, I called my uncle to talk to him and he said- When do you want us down there to get you? And I said- Tomorrow? He chuckled and said how about the day after? They (my two uncles) insisted that we live with them until we got things straightened out and situated. That was two years ago. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't feel like it's been two years, and we love them so very much, and are so very thankful to them, but it's time.

Momma and I both ran into some medical issues and it seemed like things were always trying to push us backwards no matter how hard we tried to push forward. Well, not to jinx anything, but we feel like we are in the place to be able to go out on our own now. It's scary and exciting all at the same time. More exciting than scary. Living alone doesn't bother us. We've always kind of been on our own, without actually being on our own. When Momma's husband (I don't call him dad, I call him by his last name, or another not so nice name) left I was about fifteen years old and it was just us. Greg was out on his own, living with his girlfriend at the time, so it was just us. I worked and went to school. Momma helped Aunt Linda and grammy during the day/evening, and we spent our nights and days off together just hanging out, watching movies, scrapbooking, reading, basically whatever we wanted to do. It was around that time that I got really sick and wasn't doing so well.

That's when Momma decided to get me Tayder. She figured if anybody/anything could pull me out of my horrible funk, that it was that wonderful little guy. And she was right. He made everything a little better. And then it all got much better. And then it got bad again, but then wouldn't you know it, it was back to the better. When it was just us two at first Noodle decided to live with us for awhile, even though none of us called it living together. She just asked if she could spend the night at the house with us, and two years later she left. What can I say? We were sad and she was sad and had nowhere to go, so I guess you could say, we kind of found and helped save each other. And now here it is, years later. So many years and decisions and questions later. And here I sit writing this, thinking about the next step to take. And that next step is the most logical one. I know that I usually don't go with the logical decisions, but I feel like it's a good choice this time. What is it that they say?

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious, and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." ~Walt Disney

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

How many times can you rob the same car, bitch?!

Ok, everyone who has ever seen my car has something to say about it. I mean, I love it. It's been the greatest car that you could ever ask for and it's been with us for about five or six years. And I paid $49 for it. Yes, you read that right. $49. That's it. In other words, I love that damn thing. But I'm not one to try to make something that it's just not. It might be priceless to me, but you can clearly look at it and tell that I'm not exactly rolling in the cash.

Case in point, my car is three different colors. Four if you count dirt as a color. But without the dirt, three. It is originally red, however it had been wrecked on the driver's side before I got it, so the driver's side fender is white, while the front-end-bra {I know, I giggle every time I say my car wears a bra too}of it is black. Still with me? The white fender also doesn't fit as correctly as it should, so I have it zip tied how it should be. Assisting that there is duct tape holding on the driver's side mirror. Yes, duct tape. Granted the duct tape is red and black so it matches {That's all momma, I straight up had original silver duct tape on that shit}, but still, it's duct tape. Also, the bra {giggles} is cracked down the front so I have it gorilla glued together. Why? Because I'm nothing if not frugal. I don't care what my car looks like, appearances don't mean jack to me, no matter what it may look like to other people, it's a GREAT CAR and I LOVE it.

With all of that being said, not long after we moved to Indiana someone broke into our car {I say broke in to, but just know I don't leave my car locked, because it has no alarm and broken windows are expensive} and took whatever there was in there. Just a bunch of random shit that you wouldn't think of anyone taking. They broke my glove box and stole the center thing that sits in between the seats {change console?} Yes, the whole thing. It had pennies. Now, pennies add up, but in their haste they managed to leave like seven dollars that I had spaced right through leaving in the console. A couple Cd's were gone, but they were my ex's that I had been meaning to throw out {he had dumb taste in music}, so I was like whatevs. Basically, there was just nothing of value in it. And that seemed to piss them off, because like I said they broke my glove box, AND THEN threw papers and napkins all over the place. Ooohhh, that'll show me. Seriously, though?! Seriously? My car is three different colors with glue, duct tape, and zip ties, did you think we were storing our freaking rubies in there or something? Dumbass.


Since then the same thing has happened to our car somewhere around four more times, but nothing is ever stolen, because we have nothing to steal. HELLO, WE'RE POOR. What I love about all of this is we've become so accustomed to it that we're just like whatevs, someone was in the car. {Did I tell y'all that I'm pretty sure that there has been a hobo sleeping and eating french fries in the back seat?}. I assume that it's the same people doing it, because it's always "ransacked" the same and they end up getting pissed off and throwing napkins everywhere {are they bringing these napkins with them to throw when they're angry?}, because there's nothing in there to take. {You've been our car like five times, if we're still storing "valuables" in there, we deserve to be robbed}. Also, they leave my Cd's, because obviously THEY have HORRIBLE taste in music. Buddy Holly is a legend and how dare you not consider him good enough to steal! Lord forbid instead of getting in peoples cars to destroy them, throw paper everywhere, and try to steal them that you actually go to bed at night {or during the day} and be productive by like, oh I don't know, getting a freakin' job?! By the way, you guys are bitches. Wnd rant. {Also, read this, because it made me laugh so hard, and it sounds just like the inside of my head}.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Nifty fifty and as beautiful as ever!!

Today is Momma's 50th birthday. I know that a lot of people, they say women in particular which I don't think is true, have a real hard time getting older. Momma didn't seem to have a problem with turning 50. That was until I said to her- Hey! Do you know on my next birthday I'll be the same age as you were when you had me? That's when things got awkward. Kidding. But I just wanted to let the world (and Momma) know that I'm very proud of her, I love her, she is still my most trusted confidant, and my truest friend. I wouldn't trade our relationship for anything in the world. Momma, you are my heart and I love you. Happy Birthday, beautiful lady!!


Mom, you're a wonderful mother, so gentle, yet so strong. The many ways you show you care, always make me feel I belong. You're patient when I'm foolish; you give guidance when I ask; it seems you can do most anything; you're the master of every task. You're a dependable source of comfort; you're my cushion when I fall. You help in times of trouble; you support me whenever I call. I love you more than you know; you have my total respect. If I had my choice of mothers, you'd be the one I'd select! -Joanna Fuchs

Friday, September 19, 2014

If Tyler Durden says it

So, y'all know how I'm not very good at this whole social media thing? I do this, even though I'm pretty sure that this isn't considered social media, but not 100% sure. I have a Facebook page, and Instagram is my friend. Basically, because it's the virtual camera/scrapbook that reminds me of when I do things. Not that I do that many interesting things. Not the point. 

Anyways, when I do decide to write something on FB, it's usually for a laugh, but every now and then I see a photo or quote that I love and I'm all- Yep, definitely keeping that. This was no different. I saw it, read it, and shared it.

Noodle and I were just discussing what we thought real love was last night, and even though we said it in a very unconventional way (I said to me love was laying in bed or on the couch with someone, thinking about the best way to murder them, but not actually doing it, because you would miss their laugh and waffles. She whole-heartedly agreed), this was pretty much the gist of it. I love me some Jenny Aniston, but I love me some Brad Pitt too. #sorrynotsorry
  
Wise words. Brad Pitt about his wife:

"My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and children. She lost 30 pounds and weighed about 90 pounds. She got very skinny and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the mornings and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of a break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get separated soon… but then I decided to act. After all Ive got the MOST beautiful woman on earth. She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her. I began to shower her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised and pleased her every minute. I gave her a lot of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became better. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much. And then I realized one thing: The woman is the reflection of her man. If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it." ~Brad Pitt

Monday, September 15, 2014

My unreasonable, but somehow legit fears.

Everybody has something that they're afraid of. Whether it be snakes, spiders, millipedes or centipedes (You laugh, but I have an aunt and a cousin that suffer from this), we all have one. Heights, small spaces, Kardashians, they're legit fears. It seems like you can be afraid of anything nowadays and people consider it normal, because if it ends in- "phobia" it must be a real medical condition. I don't know. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. And I'm not judging. Believe me, I am probably one of the least judgiest judgiest? people that you would ever want to meet.

I know that everybody has fears of some kind, myself included, but I really am one of those people that goes blank when asked what she's afraid of. Why? Because I can't be one of those normal people that have a rational fear. No, no. I'm one of those weird ass people that are scared of things that you wouldn't think of. Well, maybe you would think of them, but you wouldn't think that there are people out there that would actually be afraid of them. I'm just rambling at this point. Sorry. I'll explain. I was reading an article about the 15 great films with really simple plotlines for some reason. Sometimes I do that. Well, ok, if we're being perfectly honest I do shit like that all the time. I read and watch random stuff just because I think that I might need to know all of that useless information someday. On the plus side, every now and then I can kick ass in trivia games. Anyways, I was telling Aunt Susi about one of the movies on there that I've never seen, but I want to because it looks amazing, and I almost started hyperventilating just talking about it. Remember, leave your judgement at the door. Here goes nothing.

Freddy Kreuger. 

Ok. so look, when I was little Freddy Kreuger scared the crap out of me. I'm sure that I shared in the fear with thousands of children who had a negligent babysitter or an asshole older cousin (you know who you are) that let them watch a little movie known as- Nightmare on Elm Street, and then commenced to never sleeping for the next ten years. I get it. A man with a razor claw that pulled off those god awful Christmas sweaters that your Aunt Phyllis used to send to you every year. Between that rhyme and Robert Englund's stance, I get it. Plus, I mean, he got you IN YOUR DREAMS. How horrible of thing is that to do to a child? You could run from Michael, you didn't have to go to camp so bye bye to Jason, Chucky was easily punted to the neighbors house, but Freddy? Freddy got you in the place that you're at your most vulnerable. In your dreams. Yeah, the one place that you can't distinguish fantasy from reality and by the time you have a clue that you need to wake up it's to damn late. Of course I was petrified of him as a child. I didn't think it came any scarier. But when the remake came out years later, I had just turned 20 years old and knew that if i got through it as a child, then I would be perfectly fine as an adult. So a friend of mine and I went and seen it on theaters. Yeah. Do you know what they don't tell you? They don't tell you that the older you get the harder it is to stay awake therefore petrifying you even more if you're scared to go to sleep. They also don't tell you that if you jump into the lap of the guy sitting next to you whom you've never met that he asks for your phone number, that is, until he to screams like a girl and you agree to never tell anyone....what? How was I supposed to know I would have a blog someday? Anyways, it scared the crap out of me, even more so than when I was a child, and even though I own it, and love it, no matter what I hide under a blanket with my bear while watching Freddy. 

Outer Space.

Yes, you read that right. I have an irrational fear of space. And we're not talking like wide open spaces. No, we're talking outer space. what is this an irrational fear? Y'ALL, I WILL NEVER GO TO OUTER SPACE. EVER. Do I look like an astronaut to you? No? Good guess. I'm sure that my old high school GPA and NASA will both agree with you. One of my favorite movies of all time is Armageddon, and of course Star Wars and Star Trek. Yeah, I like both. I'm a rebel like that. Not to mention there was ET, Independence Day, MIB, and Deep Impact. I think what I'm trying to say is I love space movies, but am petrified of actual space. I started talking to her about that Sandy B movie- Gravity and as I was telling her that I think in the movie she gets cut from whatever she's attached to, and then she's just floating off into the never ending abyss, eventually either running out of oxygen or a space rock (Yes, I use technical terms like "space rocks" move on) hitting her in the face, thus breaking her helmet and causing her head to explode, and then I started getting dizzy and my vision became blurry. Kind of like now.

Sharks.

I know what you're thinking, right? You're thinking that there are a lot of people that are afraid of sharks, mostly because of Jaws, the fact that NOTHING SHOULD HAVE THAT MANY EFFING TEETH, and it's not that odd of a fear. Am I right? Ha! That might all be well and true, but I'm not talking your simple, basic, everyday sharks. No. The ones that you see at Seaworld or aquariums? Great whites, hammerheads, tiger sharks, bull sharks? Ha. Sissies. No I'm talking sharks like the frilled shark and Megalodon. In case you need a frame of reference for Megalodon look here. And don't try to tell me that Megalodon hasn't existed in over 400 million years, because DO YOU SWIM EVERY INCH OF THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA?! DO YOU?!! No. I didn't think so. There's a reason they're the oldest living thing on this planet. And it's called a unique set of survival skills. They are the Liam Neeson's of the underwater world. And I think that they're amazing. I watch Shark Week, and shark movies, and the Discovery Channel, but that doesn't make me less petrified. To me, Sharknado is a legitimate fear. You just don't screw with nature. And I'm pretty sure that here soon sharks are just going to develop lungs and legs and walk out of the ocean to devour me like I'm a sub sandwich, because evolution. And anyone that just looked at that frilled shark and says they weren't petrified is a damned ole liar, because that is terrifying. Basically, I'm scared of all deep sea creatures, and I'm pretty sure my imagination is worse that anything they've actually found proof of.

Also, my biggest fear is ventriloquist dummies, but I'm not gonna talk about that right now, because ahh!!

Thursday, September 11, 2014

We stand together. United.

Good evening.

Today, our fellow citizens, our way of life, our very freedom came under attack in a series of deliberate and deadly terrorist acts. The victims were in airplanes or in their offices: secretaries, business men and women, military and federal workers, moms and dads, friends and neighbors. Thousands of lives were suddenly ended by evil, despicable acts of terror. The pictures of airplanes flying into buildings, fires burning, huge -- huge structures collapsing have filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness, and a quiet, unyielding anger. These acts of mass murder were intended to frighten our nation into chaos and retreat. But they have failed. Our country is strong.

A great people has been moved to defend a great nation. Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve. America was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining. Today, our nation saw evil -- the very worst of human nature -- and we responded with the best of America. With the daring of our rescue workers, with the caring for strangers and neighbors who came to give blood and help in any way they could.

Immediately following the first attack, I implemented our government's emergency response plans. Our military is powerful, and it's prepared. Our emergency teams are working in New York City and Washington D.C. to help with local rescue efforts. Our first priority is to get help to those who have been injured, and to take every precaution to protect our citizens at home and around the world from further attacks. The functions of our government continue without interruption. Federal agencies in Washington which had to be evacuated today are reopening for essential personnel tonight and will be open for business tomorrow. Our financial institutions remain strong, and the American economy will be open for business as well.

The search is underway for those who were behind these evil acts. I have directed the full resources of our intelligence and law enforcement communities to find those responsible and to bring them to justice. We will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbor them. 

I appreciate so very much the members of Congress who have joined me in strongly condemning these attacks. And on behalf of the American people, I thank the many world leaders who have called to offer their condolences and assistance. America and our friends and allies join with all those who want peace and security in the world, and we stand together to win the war against terrorism.

Tonight, I ask for your prayers for all those who grieve, for the children whose worlds have been shattered, for all whose sense of safety and security has been threatened. And I pray they will be comforted by a power greater than any of us, spoken through the ages in Psalm 23:
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil for you are with me"
This is a day when all Americans from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace. America has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time. None of us will ever forget this day, yet we go forward to defend freedom and all that is good and just in our world.

Thank you. Good night. And God Bless America.

~George W. Bush, following the 9/11 attacks on our country.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Here's Charlie!! Season 7 premiere, here we come.

(Guess what I'm doing tonight.).


That's right, you guessed it. At ten o'clock tonight I will be watching- Sons of Anarchy. I. Am. So. Excited. I've been waiting for this since last December.

You guys, I don't have a whole lot to say about this, except that I'm really f*cking excited. I'll have more to say about it tomorrow after I watch the season premiere, but I do want to tell you how I pissed my cousin, Tony, off (haha).

Tony: I know what you're doing tonight. Katie: Yep. I'm watching Sons of Anarchy. And I'm excited about it. Tony: In my opinion, that's the dumbest show ever. Katie: Well, that's ok. You're entitled to be wrong. Tony: Hey! I could have been an ass about it. Katie: You are an ass. And not an asshole, but a whole ass. (And then he walked away).

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Joan, Meghan, Garth and Will; plus a funny

First, am I the only one that's sad that Joan Rivers died today? I know that she was a pain in the ass, and a lot of people didn't like her, but I did. I thought that she was funny, and I'm convinced that the only reason that people didn't like her was because she was so outspoken and honest. She said exactly what we were all thinking, but didn't say. Maybe I liked her, because she reminds me of me. You know, no filter. I tend to say exactly what I'm thinking when I think it. It goes straight from brain to mouth, no filter. She pioneered for women in the comedy field, and single handily made herself a millionaire. All while being a single mother, because her husband had committed suicide. That right there is something to relish at. So, no matter what people may think of her, women are thankful for her. 

Rest easy, Joan Rivers, you will be missed by many, myself included. You always made me laugh.

Have y'all heard the new Garth Brooks song? If not, don't listen to it, it sucks. And I really like Garth Brooks, but if that's his "new age" version of his singing, I will not be listening to anything, but his old songs. Sorry, I'm not sorry. Also, watch this video of a guy downing an entire bottle of Jack Daniels in 15 seconds. I like whiskey, but I sure as shit couldn't do that. I can hold my own when it comes to drinking, but a whole damn bottle in 15 seconds? Hell to the no. I prefer to keep on living, and if I did that I would surely die. You know, not from alcohol consumption, but from puking until I was dead. That's exactly how that would go down. Just saying. I come from a long line of drinkers, and by drinkers, I mean- alcoholics, and I can chug a lot of things, but not Jack. The whole point of this is- Wow. Dude. Seriously?! Kudos to you!! I can't do it, but I'm amazed that you can.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

I really am a Country Bumpkin.

I've been very absent here lately. I think it has something to do with the fact that I haven't slept a full night through in weeks. I'm not sure. All I know is I've been incredibly spaced out. I was going to write about this past weekend, because a lot happened, but then I was like- "No. I'll wait". Just so you know Friday, Momma and I did some shopping, Saturday we went out to Bubba's and he worked on our car then we went out looking around some more, Sunday we all went to a cookout at Joshie's (I may or may not have drank ALOT), Then Greg and his "lady" took me, Cricket, and Solae to the movies to see Maleficient and Transformers 4 (Thank you guys!! And I may or may not have put food from the cookout in my purse and ate it in the theater, because you know, ALCOHOL), and then Monday we went to Hobby Lobby and tried to relax and decompress a bit. But enough of that for now.


Remember when I said that I moved from Florida back to Tennessee when I was seventeen so that I could finish school and graduate with my friends? Well, if not, that's how it went down. I thought since I moved up here to Indiana that I was losing my country twang and fashion senses. But then I watched the video of Cricket and I and quickly realized that my twang is, in fact still intact and when I looked at my wardrobe it was pretty apparent that I still have that aspect handled. Well, in the country/comfy department at least. I guess as long as you never lose sight of who you are, then the rest seems to just follow right along with you. And for that, I am glad. Why? Because I love the way that I am. Twang, questionable fashion choices, wild hair, chunky legs and all. Just thought I would share that with y'all, because I really just wanted y'all to see the above picture!