In honor of National Sibling Day (4/10) my brother and I got along for a day and then proceeded to have the most ridiculous argument that two grown ass people could ever have.About the Twilight movies.
Yes, you read that right. Two grown ass adults. And the Twilight Saga.
Momma had to be rolling her eyes and be as completely confused as everyone else would have been. Why do I know this? Because I know my mother and not only did she agree with me, but she was rolling her eyes extensively.
Because it was f*cking ridiculous.
And because, I WAS F*CKING RIGHT.
First off, I was already kind of in a mood before he and Pook got home from work. Well, not really a "mood" but I was emotional. I watched an episode of Bones and for some reason I just started crying and was unable to control myself, the whole time not really knowing why, but since that happens to me more often than not lately, moving on.
Because of this emotion, I wasn't saying a whole lot. I basically just let my brother roll on and on about all the various things that I obviously had an opinion on, but didn't care enough to engage in a conversation about.
It was almost like he was picking at random small things to see if he could get to me though. Finally, he made some off handed comment about our internet, asked a question, hated the answer I gave him, and decided to be a giant smartass. I essentially told him my exact thoughts on the matter and offered no follow up.
This seemed to irritate him even more than usual (he LOVES to argue with any and every one and thinks he's right far more often than he is), so he decided to not only start another ridiculous argument with me, but also tried to involve Pook in the matter to try and get us to argue with each other.
The thing about Pook and I though, is that we don't fight or argue. Like, ever. We have moments where we disagree with each other, but we always just talk it out and if it's unimportant let it go. It's just how we've always been. (It probably helps that we're very similar and our friendship was there before, after, and all throughout the time we've known each other). Pook wouldn't take the bait and outrightly told him so. In fact, his exact words were, "yeah, you're not tricking me into this argument or a fight with your sister, nice try though."
What can I say? The man knows when to hold'em. And when to fold'em. He knows when to walk away. And he knows when to run. Sorry, I'm getting sidetracked.
Before they had gotten home I decided to watch some tv (I've not been feeling the greatest this week, I'm continuously tired and can't seem to shake whatever "this" feeling is, so I've put off cleaning my house for a week.... something I'm going to have to rectify when I get off work today whether I feel like it or not) and while I made the decision to watch tv, I wasn't necessarily interested in anything, so I ended up watching the most ridiculous movie: Breaking Wind.
If you haven't heard of this movie, don't feel bad about it, I hadn't either and kind of just started watching it by default of not giving a shit. It's one of those spoof movies (see: Scary Movie, Disaster Movie, Not Another Teen Movie, The Starving Games, etc.), and it's main "focus" (if you can call whatever it is focus) are the Twilight movies. I'm not going to lie, there were parts that were funny. It was mostly dumb, but at the very least the parts with Rosalie trying to kill Bella, the war of the Johnny Depp characters, and Charlie giving Bella "the talk" were laugh inducing.
The end of the movie was happening as they came in from work and Pook kind of offhandedly asked how long that "Twilight thing" had been happening. I told him the books came out when he and I were still in high school, so IT'S BEEN A MINUTE. He hasn't seen any of the movies, but of course knows about them from social media and because he has a little sister.
My brother chose this moment to let us know that he is apparently an adamant Twilight fan and honestly, none of us are surprised by this.
Pook asked how many books/movies were even in this mess and I told him that there were four books and five movies.... and that's where the argument started, continued, and ended:
Pook: "So, how many movies is this thing anyways?"
Me: "There's four books and five movies."
Brother: "Well, technically there's four movies."
Me: "No.... there's five."
Brother: "No, it's technically four, because the last one is two parts."
Me: "No, it's technically not. There's five movies."
Brother: "But there's only four books so explain that."
Me: "They split the last book into two separate movies to cut down on run time and increase their profit by having two separate films, therefore two separate times to cash in on the franchise."
Brother: "No, because technically the last two movies are one."
Me: "First off, quit saying technically because I'm not 100% sure you know what that means. Secondly, no it is two separate movies."
Brother: "NO. It's one book and so it's one movie."
Me: "That's not how it f*cking works."
Brother: "OH REALLY?! So, how does the Harry Potter books/movies work then? Huh, smartypants?"
Me: "There's seven books and eight movies. Exact same concept. Same as The Hunger Games and all the other movies that they felt they needed to split the last book into two movies to make more money."
Brother: "Oh, so I guess that means that Titanic is two separate movies too then?! By your way of thinking!!"
Me: "No.... Titanic was released all at once as one movie."
Brother: "But, it was on two different tapes, so I guess that makes it two separate movies, right?!!?! *insert more sarcasm and a more than condescending tone than you can imagine here*
Me: "No dipshit, that's just because VHS couldn't hold the same amount of information as a disc. It's called progress with technology. It was still released as one movie at the same time. Go buy the movie now and it's on ONE DISC as it's ONE movie."
Brother: "So, I guess all these movies are two movies then too, right?" Because there's two discs!"
Me: "No dipshit, that's the movie and the special features disc. That's not even kind of the same thing."
Brother: "Dev, tell her I'm right."
Pook: "Absolutely not."
Brother: "...... well, I guess we're both kind of right in a way."
Me: "No, we're not. I'm right and you're wrong."
Brother: "Well.... to a certain degree."
Me: "Well.... no, we're not. You just spent fifteen minutes arguing a ridiculous point that's been wrong the entire time and now you realize that you're wrong and don't want to admit it."
Brother: *walks away and doesn't talk to either of us for an hour*
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my only f*cking sibling. Thank God.
No comments:
Post a Comment