Thursday, October 18, 2018

How in the actual f*ck is it NOT the weekend yet?!!?! *vexation*

Y'all, it's that time of year again. No, not the time of year where leaves start changing and the air gets crisp (even though, yes, it is also that time).... the time where everything is cool and all you want to do is stay at home in your sweatpants and eat junk and drink booze and watch tv.

But, apparently that's my forever 24 hour a day/365 days a year mood? Whatever.

The point is, I have very little, if any, effort for most things in life right now and the fact that I am extremely UNmotivated is forever present.

And my keyboard at work is doing this really weird thing where the "N" key won't work and it's RUINING MY LIFE. You know, not to be dramatic or anything.

I just want to stay home with my dogs and watch tv and wear comfy clothes and drink copious amounts of booze (ps: remind me to tell you about how the stranger on Instagram thought I "looked like a freaking cool person" and "I totally enjoy wine").... and maybe finish that haunted series on Netflix?

On the plus size, it is in fact Thursday and it's supposed to rain tomorrow and Saturday, so maybe it'll be one of those "lazy" kind of weekends? HA!! I got all the jokes. Seriously though, I had to scrape ice off of my windshield every morning this week, so I think we'll just call it a draw and go take a nap. Good? Good.

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

I had to explain the concept of time to my brother. *insert confusion*

*while talking about the fact that I thought the clock in our hallway (it chimes out every hour and half hour) was running fast*

Me: I think the clock in the hallway is fast.

Brother: Oh yeah, it's four minutes fast. I set all of my clocks four minutes fast.

Me: .......... ??!?!!!?!??!! ..........

Brother: I set all of my clocks fast. I would set *points at the clock on our cable box* this one fast and the one on my phone fast if I could.

Me: ......... First off, don't touch any of our clocks or anything else for that matter. Second, why?

Brother: Because that way when I look at a clock or my alarm goes off I always have four additional minutes so I'm never late.

Me: ........... ?!!!?!?????!!!!?!?!

Brother: *rolls eyes* It's a trick, Katie.... duh.

Me: *looks at him like wtf for a few more seconds* You know that trick only works when you're not aware of it, right?

Brother: No, it always works. You're just not getting it. Let me explain it again.... *tells me the entire theory again*

Me: No.... it only works when you're not aware of it. Because if you know that all of your clocks are set four minutes fast, which you are because you're the one that did it, you know as soon as it goes off you have that "extra" four minutes. Meaning, you still procrastinate, make yourself late, and repeat that exact process over and over.

Brother: ...........  ?!!?!?!????!!!!?!?!?!!! ..........

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Winter is coming. *time for the Midwest to do its questionable thing*

Here it is, the middle end of September and we're all standing here like ?!!?!!!!?!?!! In other words, we're all very confused.

I don't want to be one of "those people" that "totally can't believe we're already nine months in" and wondering "where did the year go?!" and all that jazz, but let's be honest.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHERE I'M AT WITH IT.

Y'all, I seriously don't know where this year has went and so many things have happened and haven't happened and are going to happen that I'm basically just a nervous bundle of anxiety over here. And don't get me wrong, I'm literally ALWAYS a nervous bundle of anxiety, BUT now I'm also confused, because WHERE DID THIS YEAR GO?!!?!

I am not alone in this feeling. I was just coming to terms with the fact that I turned twenty-eight in February and AND NOW twenty-nine is creeping up on me faster than a pair of pantyhose in a Alabama church come August. In case you're not from the South and don't understand that reference, let me just tell you, THAT'S F*CKING FAST.

Am I seriously about to be spending my last year in my twenties ever? Don't get me wrong, I don't mind that I'm getting older (I'm finally aging into my bitter old lady personality), but it just feels very weird.

It's been raining/storming on/off here for four days(?) now and the upside of this is #1: I love thunderstorms and #2: I haven't had to mow grass.... yet. Don't you worry though, that time is coming, friends. Luckily, I've gotten the majority of our stuff cut down/packed up/all that jazz for winter, so really it's just a whole lot of mowing and weed-eating. And apparently planting "fall" flowers and plants, because that's our thing now?

The season of hoodies, sweatpants, boots (even though that's a year round thing for me!), hot cider, chicken and dumplings, no yard work, cuddling with your pups (again, an all year round thing!), and avoiding people by staying in your house and only coming out when you absolutely have to is almost upon us. Of course, with that season also comes snow shoveling, freezing rain, and gloom (which I love, but apparently other people despise?).... but that's neither here nor there.

Friday, September 21, 2018

Work has been.... exhausting?! *Jack Torrance would laugh with us*

Where do I even begin? Well, for starters.... no pups were made bedless by the taking of this picture (it needed said).

I think we can all agree that when we were younger, we thought being an adult was going to be a lot more fun than it really is.

Sure, we stay up as late as we want, have cereal for dinner to the point of no one can stop us, and buy alcohol.... but they left out the part that says coming with all of that is the fact that you're trying to run on six hours of sleep a week, you have to deal with a myriad of things when you don't necessarily eat healthy (although, my body is so used to my ridiculous diet it would probably fall over dead if I tried to change it at this point), and hangovers become increasingly more difficult after the age of twenty-two five.

With all of that being said, I'm going to lead with I got a "promotion" at work (as in, we're doing even more stuff, but I still have the same title that I'm also pretty sure isn't a thing and we made up on the fly one day, because I needed a "title" for my email signature) and a raise (I'm currently singing Snoop Dogg in my head). Along with that came with all the other things that come with being an adult.... more responsibility.

Where was the "be a gummy bear taste tester" line when I had to go to the job fairs in school?!

In order to deal with this ever increasing fluctuation of "what the f*ck" moments between Dani and I, we try to have a positive outlook (said no one about our personalities EVER) and get in "laughs" and "lighthearted" moments whenever we can. And yes, we also have those days where we listen to The Shining via audiobook, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT. Including, but not limited to crawling into her pup Gibson's brand new dog bed to see if we can in fact fit (spoiler alert: we can).

Thursday, September 20, 2018

There are numerous advantages to being 54.... just ask any 84 year old.

Today is my Momma's 54th (but if anybody asks, 25th) birthday. I'm so happy that I get to see her on this day and every single day (and I wouldn't have it any other way!), because a little over a year ago I didn't know if we would ever spend another birthday together

She's come a long way and her strength and perseverance is something that I marvel at daily. She truly is one of the strongest people that I have ever known and I'm very proud to call myself her daughter. 

We still have a long road ahead, and lord knows I'm sure it will be rocky to say the least, but lucky for us, that seems to be our specialty. You know, where we tend to be the majority of life.

And while she always insists that no one make a "big deal" when it comes to her birthday, I make it a point to let her know how special she is to me every day. And whether she likes it or not, people want to celebrate this day with her (and all the other days, as well), because she really is just that great of a person and that special to everyone that loves her.

I couldn't be any luckier in the "Mom Department" if they tried. She is, hands down, the best mother, friend, and woman that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I love you more than you'll ever know, Momma. You're my best friend, mother, confidant, biggest fan (and I yours), and most importantly, my heart. (And the epitome of a bee charmer.)

So, here's to you, Momma. It's your party.... and you can cry drink nap party do what you want to. I love you.

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Tayder's big-little brother (Spart) is not-so-slowly outgrowing me.

Back when we adopted Spart, I was used to having one small older pup (my forever love- Tayder) in our lives.... and then we apparently wanted to delve into a shitshow and find out how crazy we could become before reaching our breaking point.

Enter Spart. The world's cuddliest huge dog that feels like he's definitely a teeny tiny lap dog, even if only in heart (and his brain).

He's clumsy and insane, thinks he's the size of a chihuahua, and has a set of jowls that would rival any hog that I've ever seen.... and I grew up surrounded by farmland, people!

But, with all of his crazy (and there's SO much of it to go around), he's also lovable, sweet, goofy, cuddly (and by cuddly, I mean he likes to just throw his butt and fall onto me full body weight), snorty (yes, he snorts and I love it!), and loves us and his little-big brother like nobody's business.

For everything the pup has been through, and he has been through some terribly awful shit, he has managed to retain his innocence and lovability better than I have seen almost anybody be able to do.

And don't let Tayder fool you. He may pretend like he's not a fan of his big-little brother, but for every snip he lets out and eyeroll he lets go, he also let's him "hide" behind him when he's scared (even though Spart is WAY bigger than him), pretends like he needs to go outside so Spart doesn't have to be in his crate (something he mostly only sleeps in at this point), and makes sure he eats/drinks before he himself does.

To say he's definitely a member of our family, and one of the greatest loves around, would be an understatement on the part of ALL of us.... and I will never know how anyone could have ever mistreated such a lovable goof. That definitely says more about them as a person than him as a pup. And by "as a person" I mean they're a bag of dicks and deserve to be hit with a bus.

Friday, August 31, 2018

2018 films. (Part II).

I started a tradition back at the end of 2016 suggesting all of my favorite films that I would recommend that I had viewed throughout the year. This evolved into three consecutive lists in 2017, detailing the movies that I viewed (spanning four months at a time), which ones were my favorites, and the ones I would steer clear of again.

I figured I would keep that tradition going, because believe it or not I actually enjoy doing it. Is everyone good with that? I mean, I'm gonna do it either way, but sometimes I like to pretend like I'm not 100% an asshole and ask.... you know, care about other people's opinions and such. Or, something like that, except not really.

Speaking of catching up: Catch up: from 2016.

Catch up from 2017: Part IPart IIPart III.

Catch up with 2018: Part I.


Tagging onto April: While I watched a movie on the very last day of April, I had already written my first post (Part I) and didn't want to "amend" it. So, I figured I would just tell y'all about it here. The movie was: The Greatest Showman and HOLY HELL it was SO good. Like, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street will forever be my very favorite musical.... BUT this one is AMAZING. (And can we all just go ahead and admit that badass Zendaya and Keala Settle are the BEST part of this whole movie?!.... even though they're all so great!) The guy that this is based on (PT Barnum) might have been a POS in real life, but he's only kind of a POS in the movie. I definitely wasn't disappointed.  

May's films: The Lego Batman Movie, Pixels.

My favorite: There's no doubt about it.... The Lego Batman Movie.  I'm not gonna lie, I am a HUGE Adam Sandler fan, BUT I laughed so damn hard while watching the TLBM that there's absolutely no way I can't pick that one as my favorite. Besides, I've learned I basically have the personality of LB, so I'm going with it. Least favorite of the month: By default.... Pixels. Don't get me wrong, I liked it (there are very few Adam Sandler movies I don't like), but it just didn't crack me up like the other.

May's rewatched from years gone by: Resident Evil, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I.

June's films: The Kissing Booth.

My favorite: Not many to choose from, huh? No worries.... The Kissing Booth was adorable and pretty damn funny (albeit, a romcom through and through). Least favorite of the month: Please, I would hardly count either of the movies I watched this month as the "least favorite." They're both hilarious in their own right.... and I mean, Deadpool is so cool he got a sequel.

June's rewatched from years gone by: Deadpool (although I was sick with an upper respiratory infection and on heavy meds the first time I watch this and couldn't fully appreciate it and how hilarious it is).

July's films: Hotel Transylvania, The Strangers: Prey at Night, Friday the 13th, Father of the Year, Cave.

My favorite: While I don't know what it says about me as a person.... The Strangers: Prey at Night. The original movie freaked me the hell out when I watched it (to the point of freaking out at night when I was out with my friends for awhile), and I gotta say, I really liked the sequel too. Least favorite of the month: This one is easy.... Cave. It wasn't a "terrible" movie, but it's not something that I would recommend or want to watch again.

July's rewatched from years gone by: Broken Arrow, Interview with the Vampire, Van Helsing, Without a Paddle.

August's films: The Package, The Collector, Deadpool 2, Mother Krampus, Marrowbone.

My favorite: It's alot harder to pick a favorite out of these than what I would think it would be, but I'm gonna go with.... Deadpool 2. And I say that, because I laughed throughout literally the entire movie. The Collector comes in at a close second though! Least favorite of the month: Definitely.... Mother Krampus. I just wasn't a big fan of this one and only finished it, because it was too late to start a different one.

August's rewatched from years gone by: Mindhunters, Baywatch.

Documentaries watched: Touched by Auschwitz, I Am a Killer, Inside the Criminal Mind.

Tv series I've finished: Hawaii Five-0 (SE1-SE6), The Ranch (P5), Shameless (SE1-5), Breaking Bad (SE4), American Horror Story (SE3: Coven).

Tv series still on my (Netflix) queue: Shameless (I'll never get to finish this one), Hawaii Five-0 (because I watch it randomly always), Breaking Bad (there's only a couple episodes of the last season left and I can't seem to get through it), The Walking Dead (will I ever make it past the fifth season of this?!), Supernatural, That 70s Show, Dexter, Sons of Anarchy (because I'll always want to rewatch it), Van Helsing, Friends, The Originals, Slasher, Young & Hungry, Stranger Things (bring out S3 already!!!), The Sinner, The Vampire Diaries, Bates Motel (still 1.5 seasons to finish!), Blue Bloods, Gotham, Penny Dreadful, New Girl, Santa Clarita Diet (bring out S3 already!!), Longmire, Riverdale (I'm totally gonna start S2 of this soon.... probably), The Punisher, The Mist, Fuller House (still caught up, just waiting for the next season), The Blacklist, The Night Shift (I've see all but the series finale), Spartacus, Bitten, Lost Girl, The End of the F*cking World, The Following, The Last Kingdom, Grace & Frankie (all caught up, just waiting for the next season), Haven, Frontier, Taken, Hart of Dixie, Merlin.  

Tv series still on my (Hulu) queue: Bones, Blue Bloods, Cake Wars, Vikings, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (I've literally seen every single episode of this like fifteen times, but continue to just rewatch them all!), Blindspot, The Good Doctor, Lucifer, Rizzoli & Isles, Drunk History, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Freakish, Beyond Scared Straight, Hoarders (we all know I'm a hoarder!), Cupcake Wars, Unsolved Mysteries (nothing scared me more throughout my entire childhood than this guy telling me all about the bad shit happening and how it was never solved), The Path, Fear the Walking Dead, Harlots, Castle Rock, My Strange Addiction, Black Sails, Outsiders, The Shield, Deadliest Catch, Preacher, The Musketeers, Flavor of Love, Nightwatch.

Stand-up watched: John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City, Kevin Hart: What Now?, Ralphie May: Imperfectly Yours, Ralphie May: Unruly.

Monday, August 27, 2018

To say that I've been slacking would be an understatement. *exasperation*

Y'all, it's been so long since I've wrote anything down. Well.... anything aside from grocery lists and sixteen thousand notebooks full of work stuff. (shoot. me. now. oomph.)

Being an adult is hard.

With that being said, I couldn't tell you how many times I've opened my blogger on a spare tab and attempted to write something down. Basically, just anything down. I now live by the term "the struggle is real" and that's probably what's going to have to be written on my tombstone.

I'm going to try and catch up.... at least, hit some things that I may elaborate on later on down the road.

-Thanks to Danielle, I learned that I've been using a can opener wrong my entire life.
A couple of weeks back, Danielle watched a video on FB (isn't that where most evil things start these days?) of Djswauvea (no, I don't know if that's his legit name or just a youtube name) reacting to finding out that he had been using a can opener wrong his entire life. Thinking that this was one of those "you can't believe everything on the internet, especially FB" moments, I gave it a go.... and apparently, I've just been using one wrong for twenty-eight years. You wouldn't believe how irrationally angry it made me (and Danielle by extension, because OF COURSE I had to text her immediately afterwards). Sometimes it really is the little things.

-I went and seen my amazing "lady doctor" last week and we're trying something new (Kyleena.... to be continued).
I've had a love/hate relationship with my "lady doctor" for around four (five?) years now. You know what, let me correct that.... I've had a love/hate relationship with my "lady bits" for around four (five?) years now, but I LOVE my "lady doctor." She is quite literally the best. Around four (five?) years ago, I gained a significant amount of weight and felt HORRIBLE at all times. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, but assumed that it might have something to do with my "lady bits" because I had a Mirena and it was almost time to have it removed (I've heard they can cause weird side effects when it's almost time to have it removed as your body's way of reminding you). Come to find out, it was my "lady bits" that were the problem, but not my IUD. Long story short, I've struggled with it and everything surrounding it since. But, after four (five?) years of being on the pill (for hormonal reasons), my "lady doctor" told me she thought it would be best to try out Kyleena, as it's designed with women who've never had children in mind. She thinks it will really help some of my issues and since I trust her and her opinion she put the order in and I go back to have it placed once her office receives it.

-It rained for four days straight.... and now it's officially "that time" of year.
Ah, it's officially "that time" of the year.... the time where you have the heat (defroster) on on the way to work, the AC cranked on the way home at the end of the day, storms and rain are always in the forecast, and you've taken so many allergy meds you don't know how to be a functional adult (please, like I've ever known that). Welcome to the Midwest!! (Also, I take allergy meds around the clock/year, so this part is not an adjustment for me). PS: my grass desperately needs mowed and I'm like eh.

-You can officially say that I've watched an entire season of American Horror Story.
Last year in September/October I started watching the third season of American Horror Story.... one of my favorite parts of that show is the fact that each season is a different subject than all the others, but they all seem to still meld together. I decided to start with Coven, because as most people know, I love all things witches (you can blame the Sanderson sisters and the fact that I want to go to Salem). With the move and my short attention span, I never finished.... UNTIL NOW. Once it was done, I went back and started season one.

-And five whole seasons of Shameless.
My cousin, J, told me I needed to check out the show and since it has been on my Netflix queue for months I decided that I should give it a go. I more or less loved and binge-watched the first five seasons, but have lost steam since my favorite character (Mickey Milkovich) is no longer on there. Oh, and since Momma officially hates it, because both of her favorites (Sheila and Jimmy/Steve/Jack) are gone. I want to continue with it, but whether or not I get to is to be determined.

-Spart won't quit growing like he's a damn weed.
It's been a long while since we've had a big dog. Tayder is my little guy and has been with me for YEARS, but he was the first "little" dog that I've ever personally had. We always had bigger dogs, but got pretty used to it just being my little man. Then Spart joined the family and even though he was pretty puny when we brought him home, he is a GIANT now. That doesn't stop him from thinking he's a lapdog and trying to hide behind Tayder when he's scared though. (Side note: Happy International Dog Day!! Did y'all know that was thing? If not, you do now!)

-Tayder still isn't 100% onboard with having a baby brother.... but he's adjusting.
Speaking of my little buddy and Spart.... remember how I said Tayder has been with me for years? Well, after Momma's pup, Dixie, passed away, it's been only Tayder. He got pretty accustomed to being in a one dog household and having a giant little brother has been quite the adjustment for everyone. He's probably still not real happy about it, but he's used to him at this point.

-We got new windows put in our house in the living room and kitchen.
When we moved into our house last year, we knew that there were going to be things we needed to get done. It's an older house and while it was pretty decent, it's not brand new. Lucky for us, I don't mind having to put in some work and it's really exciting to have our own house (again!) and knowing that we can do it anyway that we want, because we're never moving again (because I'm tired of f*cking moving and plan to just die there now). While I do know how to do quite a few things when it comes to remodeling/fixing things/building a house (we literally built my childhood home from the giant ass open field up and I help Uncle D with everything from installing countertops to fire pit building), there are certain things I think pros should do. Windows are one of those things. We couldn't afford to have them all replaced, but the only ones that needed it "right now" were the ones in the living room and kitchen, because they leaked HORRIBLY. Now that they're replaced, you can 100% tell the difference even within the AC itself.

-Got Hulu back (and kept Netflix).
I love Netflix. The fact that I can binge-watch to my little heart's content is no secret (even though I don't always get to). We tried out Hulu last year, but decided we should probably cut at least one of them out. I was pretty sad that Netflix had removed It's Always Sunny, but real happy to know Hulu now offers it. So, we got Hulu back. And they have some pretty good stuff.

-Had to deal with the entire world and their "Kiki Challenges."
I know y'all have see these "Kiki Challenges" and I want to punch Drake in his face for it. While I think it's completely stupid for someone to jump out of their moving vehicle to dance (y'all, I locked my keys in my parked, but running car once and felt like a giant dumbass then), and record it (why would you want evidence of you doing something illegal and/or dangerous to everyone in your vicinity), I have so say.... the "Kiki Challenge Fails" are what I'm here for.

-Prepared a bunch of green tomatoes for freezing for winter.... then lost them all.
Fried Green Tomatoes isn't just a fabulous movie.... it's also a delicious meal within itself. If being raised in the sticks doesn't teach you that it's perfectly acceptable to deep fry all of your veggies for consumption, then nothing ever will. Our tomato plants went insane this year and while they're gone now, they left us with quite a few green tomatoes to freeze for consumption in the winter. So, I spent three hours one day preparing them all and freezing them.... and then our freezer wet out. *eye roll*

-Watched my big brother turn 32 years old.
My brother love to tell me that I'm "creeping up on thirty" and gets real offended when I counter with "yeah, but once I'm there, you'll be in your mid-thirties." His birthday is in July and we was the big 3-2 this year. His last few birthdays have been real special to him now that he's a father. We fight and argue constantly and have for our entire lives, but it's so surreal to me that he's so grown up. Big brother or not, he'll always be a scrawny little kid to me.

-My hair is dark brown.... again.
I've been talking about making a "drastic" change to my hair for a couple of years now. I debated on whether or not to chop it all off and I even started using Sun-In to enhance the natural blonde in my hair (which is apparently alot), and swore that I was done dying it, because I didn't want to deal with it anymore. Well.... then I decided that I wanted my dark brown hair back. Call it the forever fifteen year old girl in me, but I just prefer my dark hair. And if I have to get it from a bottle, so be it. I guess that's what I get for dying it starting at twelve years old.

-I repainted our bathroom and now I'm almost 100% sure they should give me my own show on HGTV.
Eventually, I would like to redo our bathroom and take out the tub and install a walk-in shower (I hate taking baths, but LOVE taking showers), but until that day comes (which will probably be years from now), we gotta make the most of what we've got. For some reason the people we bought the house from had painted the bathroom a really dark brown/grey color, put in a giant dark brown mirror, and a wood vanity. Nothing matched and with the navy blue tiles that takes up half of the whole room, it looked pretty wonky. This past weekend I painted it white, put on new hinges, put up a medicine cabinet instead of plain mirror, and when I get home today I have to clean and do touch-ups. You wouldn't believe how much better it already looks.

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

As someone who also thinks she looks like a bug.... get us a milkshake.

Y'all, this little girl coming out of her dentist trip is cracking me the hell up. I've never actually had an "anesthesia trip" but from what I can tell, it's just another excuse for your family to f*ck with you.

And honestly, who doesn't love that?!


Monday, July 16, 2018

I started using Sun-In.... even though I read a million scary reviews. *gasps*

First things first.... I used to dye my hair black every chance I got. And I'm not talking a little darker than my natural color. I'm talking full on jet black for YEARS. Sure, with my pale skin it made me look borderline Morticia Addams (and also, like I was maybe a sick person?), but I LOVED it and would probably still do it if my hair would hold any form of color. But it won't (probably from the fact that I consistently dyed it from the age of twelve through twenty-two without missing a beat).

So, here I am living my mousey natural hair color existence.

And you know, I never quite realized how much blonde my hair naturally had in it (again, because I hadn't seen my natural color since I was twelve), but here we are.

I figured that if I was going to have light hair for the rest of my life, I might as well have it a sandy blonde.... right?! The best way I could figure out how to do that (again, without dye/bleach, etc.) was to try Sun-In.

I've been thinking about trying this product since I was a young teen and my friend Amanda used it religiously (even though her natural hair color is already kind of a light bleach blonde?), but never did.

For years I had forgotten about it even existing, and honestly figured they had quit making it years ago, because as I said I remember it from when I was super young! But, then I saw it on the shelf at the store one day and decided to give it a go.

Before I did anything that "drastic" though, I decided to read up on some of the reviews and to say that there were a million "bad/questionable" reviews would be an understatement. Sure, there were a couple of good ones out there, but the bad almost had me running for the hills, clutching my hair with both hands like Buffalo Bill was chasing after me. And then I read a review from xoJane and she was honest in saying that it did dry her hair out/give her split ends, but that she got the color she wanted and was relatively pleased with her results (you can always use a shit ton of conditioner, hot oil, hair masks, leave in conditioner, etc. to help with the drying out!), so I thought what I usually think in situations where it could either go ok or end up in utter disaster....

WHAT THE HELL. LET'S DO THIS.

This past Friday when Momma and I ran errands and stopped into the grocery store (aka, Walmart) I picked up a bottle of Sun-In (in the pink bottle- tropical breeze?) and so far I've used it twice. I also picked up a bottle of leave-in conditioner and a "hair treatment" (that I hate and am going to find something different), because of all the "dries your hair out" reviews out there. I didn't really notice that my hair was dryer, but once I re-washed it I did notice it was harder to brush out. I haven't noticed an overall difference in the color, but I have noticed there are a few spots that are really coming through blonder (since I have a lot of blonde in my hair to begin with).

But, like I said, I've only used it twice (and gave my hair a rest/treatment last night), so I'm sure I'll notice more soon.

And on a side note: I decided recently that it may be a good idea to "work out" my body a little bit, not for any purpose other than just to feel better, and I would like to go on the record of saying that my legs hurt SO F*CKING BAD. Seriously, it's only my thighs, but I feel like I may in fact kill over at any given moment. Can that happen?!

Friday, July 13, 2018

Halloween 2018. (The movie, not the holiday.... but also that too!)

Y'all they released the first trailer for Halloween last month, but I held out until right now to post it, because I felt like Friday the 13th was a good day to celebrate all things Michael Myers (and the horror genre by extension).

Jamie Lee Curtis IS BACK, BITCHES. And I don't know how I feel about the whole Michael Myers isn't Laurie Strode's brother anymore (because that bit of information wasn't released until Halloween II and this movie is taking place 40 years after the original). I always really liked that whole aspect of it, so I'm not sure how I'm going to feel about it no longer being there?

I also think it's going to be really hard to block out every movie aside from the original (I've literally been watching horror movies my entire life, so that's alot of information to let go of!), but I also have quite a bit of faith in Danny McBride and Jamie Lee Curtis, so I'm ready to give it a go.

Except, I'll have to wait until it comes out on DVD, because I'm too much of a chicken to actually go to the theater for almost every single movie (the last time I went was when we went to see the live action version of Beauty and the Beast and there's no telling how long it had been before that.... and I haven't been back since). But, still.... EXCITED.

Thursday, July 12, 2018

I can't find words and I need a very LARGE drink. *come on weekend*

It's that time of year where we all forget how freezing and miserable we were during the winter months and start complaining about the sweltering heat, because we just can't be pleased.

Personally, I prefer the winter, because I would rather put on an extra layer as opposed to sweating balls off that I don't even have. If I'm being perfectly honest, I would rather stay in the house 24/7 regardless of the season, but that's just me.

This day has been so stupid. And I say "day" but really it's been more like the week in general? Literally by Tuesday I was like, "THIS IS STUPID" and wanted to throw a mini temper tantrum that would make a three year old blush.

Mostly, my constant complaints and general annoyance can all be traced back to one thing....

WORK.... and you know, being a adult.

And not "work" in the "general sense", but "work" in the "NOTHING IS GOING RIGHT AND NO ONE WILL LISTEN" sense. You ever have those days? We're currently having one of those days.... for the past two weeks.

Oh, and my insomnia has decided to kick it's shit into high gear, because apparently sleep is for nice people that don't have a sarcastic sense of humor. Seriously, I don't know what's happening up in my head, but I've literally been replaying scenarios in my head for the past decade and honestly, I JUST WANT A NAP.... and in the interest of full disclosure, a really large beer.

Sure, all of this won't last forever (probably?), but there's no telling how long it will stick around. Even our email is broken.... just like our spirit. Ugh.... I'll stop complaining eventually.... maybe. You know what, I wouldn't count on it anytime soon.

Thursday, June 21, 2018

A beaver attacked my car while I was driving it. And no, that's not a euphemism for anything. *insert exasperation here*

This past week has been full of buillshit and "what the f*ck" moments, so I thought I would share a story that's even more bizarre than that for "Throwback Thursday." Except it's really not, because who in the hell gets attacked by a beaver while driving to the grocery store other than me?!

You know what, don't answer that. Moving on.

When I was about seventeen years old, a friend of ours (and I use the term "friend" lightly, because it's easier to say than "dude I couldn't hardly stand as we got older, because he became a real bag of d*cks" but whatever), wrecked his truck and tried to get away with the ultimate.

And it wasn't a bad wreck or anything like that, he basically just drove his big ass jacked-up diesel off a back road and hit a fence post. I don't think it even really did much past the point of scratching his bumper and barely denting his grill. The point is, he didn't get hurt and his truck was fine.

BUT he took this opportunity to do the ultimate.... he used it to call off his engagement (with his wedding weeks away).

BY FAKING AMNESIA. Apparently, his girlfriend had taken it upon herself to not only propose to herself for him, buy her own engagement ring (using his debit card that she swiped from his wallet), and plan the entire wedding and he literally just didn't even know how to get out of it. We all kind of wondered why he didn't just say something like, "look sweetie.... YOU'RE A F*CKING PSYCHO AND I'M NOT MARRYING YOU" but honestly, we all wanted to see the shit show play out.

Oh, and did it ever play out. It "played out" in the form of, he pretended to have amnesia.... but only when it came to her. So basically, he was fine and normal except he couldn't remember "her", the fact that he "loved her" or anything about their entire relationship. And we all sat there in disbelief waiting for her to call his punkass out for his bullshit and SHE NEVER DID.

She not only believed him and the entire story that he was spinning (with all of us rolling our eyes and being like "oh sweetie.... bless your heart"), BUT his plan hilariously backfired when she didn't let the fact that he forgot her and their "life" together drive her away, but instead decided to make him "fall in love with her all over again" and make sure it was "better and stronger than before." For weeks she reminded him with pictures and songs and by the time the wedding rolled around, she knew it was meant to be again.

Oh shit, did I forget to mention that part? My bad.... yeah, she totally never even called the wedding off. She did however change everything that he had originally said he wanted and told him it was because "he didn't really want it that way before his accident." And he couldn't dispute it, because then he would've had to come clean about the whole "amnesia" thing. (Which he did come clean to everybody else about seeking advice on how to get out, but once again, we had nothing useful to offer him).

You'll be happy to know that they just celebrated their ten year anniversary a couple of weeks ago and have two kids.... and she still tells the story about how they "almost lost each other" but through perseverance and love they "found each other and fell in love all over again."

And no, I didn't make this shit up. But, we all love to tell this ridiculous (and sadly, true) story.... he doesn't think it's funny.

Friday, June 8, 2018

In the words of Michael Kelso: *BURN* And also, *BUUURRRNNN*

Dude, I know that I should be one of those people that thinks you should let bygones be bygones and such.... but I'm not.

Look, I know that people make mistakes. And I truly understand that, we've all been there. Lord knows I'm not perfect and have never claimed to be, because it would be lying. I've made mistakes and I've done things I'm not proud of in my life (hopefully I'm not a horrible person, because I'm alone in this).

I think we've all been there at some point.

BUT, I have never set out to intentionally hurt someone- physically or mentally.

Except my brother, and that was self defense, because growing up with him was like being raised somewhere between backyard wrestling, boot camp, the middle part of Bravehart, and the battle of Helm's Deep.

With that being said, I can also completely understand the need for "revenge" of sorts. Especially when that "revenge" doesn't necessarily hurt someone, but helps you recover something in your own way.

A man in Minnesota, who was raised alongside of his sister by their grandmother, wrote an obituary for his biological mother. And he used that moment to get out some of the things that he had apparently been holding in for many years.

Now, I understand that ole saying, "you shouldn't speak ill of the dead" and my Grammy was a stickler for that one.... however, she also used to say that when someone treats you poorly, it's in your right to let someone know that. As someone who has been in the position of the one being hurt, I can sympathize with it. Did this obituary hurt someone who read it? Possibly. But isn't it perfectly reasonable that he has the right to say how he and his sister feel?

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think he does. And maybe the way he did it was tacky (I don't necessarily think so, but I know many people do), but then again, maybe that's exactly what he needed to do for he and his sister. We all get closure in different ways and maybe this was his. Personally, I don't think we all need "closure" I think we can come to it ourselves, and sometimes we don't even feel the need for it in the first place, because we literally don't even give two shits, but some people need a little help.

And I'm glad this dude got it.

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

I might actually be getting my face back.... that sounded creepy.

The day after tomorrow I have an eye appointment and I'm looking into.... contacts. Maybe... jury's still deliberating and such.

You see, I don't have good eyesight. In fact, calling it "poor eyesight" as my doctor says is "putting it easy." Essentially, my eyeballs suck and don't want to do their f*cking job. Apparently they're so "blue" that they're almost "translucent" and that's why I can't stand bright lights. I repeat, my eyeballs can't stand bright light, because they're "defective."

What. the. f*ck.... why won't you eyeball, eyeballs?!!?!

Moving on.... back in February 2017 I finally sucked it up and went to get glasses, because I was driving regularly, and lord knows I watch too much tv (#noregrets), and basically it got to where I couldn't even do my work right, because I couldn't see it and ugh being an adult is hard.

I had to get giant framed glasses, because I've tried to get used to wearing small frames before and it never works out for me. That's why I've never stuck with my glasses (that I've needed since I was probably around fifteen?), because I just kept staring at the frames and couldn't break the habit and get used to them. And of course, I would rather see than look decent, so I was all #1: I'm getting these big f*cking glasses so I can function and #2: I don't need contacts, I'll just wear glasses all the time, it makes more sense.

Apparently I didn't think that through all the way. It's not so much about the way they look (we've even had our good days in the look department together), but sometimes they're just terribly inconvenient. And I feel like contacts would be a nice thing to have around. And I could even maybe wear my eye makeup again (but I wouldn't count on it, because lazy).

Don't get me wrong, I'll still have my glasses to fall back on (with my allergies it would be dumb not to make sure I had another option in case my eyes are screwy from pollen and such), but for the most part I would like to see my face again. Although, it will be weird to get used to, because I've literally had it partially covered for over a year (a year and four months?) now.

Wish me luck. Not for the touching my eyeball part, because that doesn't bother me AT ALL, but for the price part. Because trying to see, because your eyeballs won't work right is frustrating.... and expensive.

Monday, June 4, 2018

Tayder has a new brother.... and I don't know how we feel about it?!

Yesterday (6/3), Tayder got a new little brother.... that's already taller than him. And it's a working progress.

Momma has been saying for a while that she wanted to get another dog. She wanted a puppy that we could raise up and train and she wanted to make sure that he was a bigger breed of dog.

Personally, I didn't want another dog, as I'm perfectly good with just having my Tayderbug. But, she wanted one that will get bigger and she'll feel more secure with a larger dog.

And naturally, I can't tell her no for shit. I swear, that lady can literally talk me into just about any damn thing. Her: "Katie, you wanna move to Antarctica and live off off whale blubber for the rest of our lives? I really want to." Me: "Sure, Momma." And then next thing you know, my bitch ass is moving to Antarctica.

Ever since Momma's emergency surgery last July, every time we have to leave the house, Tayder freaked the hell out. Like, he's got anxiety worse than any person that I've ever seen. And I get it, how could he not have anxiety after an ordeal like that (I know I do), so she also thought that having a "companion" for him would make him feel more at ease when we have to leave.

Since we both left at 6:00 this morning, I guess we're about to find out.

We rescued (I hate saying "rescue" because it's like I should be Batman or something) a pit mix from the Humane Society yesterday and he's not quite five months old yet. The choice was between him and one other little guy (named Pete), but I was pretty nervous about Pete, because of Tayder. I don't mind adopting an older dog (Tayder was older when I got him), but I said we had to make sure that it could be a good match for him.

His name is Sparty (technically Spartacus) and the poor little guy was covered in poo and urine (he wasn't allowed to be out on their grounds, because he's under six months and they've had an issue with parvo in the past) and malnourished. I gave him two baths when we got him home (his tail and paws are still dyed yellow, but they're improving!), gave him a flea treatment and rubbed him down in baby powder (for the smell). Now, we just have to get some weight on him.

He's pretty timid and playful, and as I said, as long as Tayder is ok with it, then there's no problem whatsoever. Also, I had to get him a crate (I've NEVER crated a dog before in my entire life), because the place that had him suggested that it would be a good idea until he's "adapted" more for when we have to leave the house. He actually slept in it last night (he walked into the crate without me even saying anything.... maybe it's a security thing for him right now?) and we let him and Tayder run the yard a bit this morning before I had to leave for work and drop Momma off at Aunt Poot's and then he went back in since we had to leave.

We're not going to be crating him often, but it probably is a good idea for now, at least until we can get his belly under control (poor little guy has diarrhea and I think it's a combination of anxiety and not getting proper "care" before).

You know what I've learned in the last like eighteen hours? I've learned that I had completely forgotten what it was like to have a puppy in the house. It's an entirely different ballgame and I am striking out big time. But, I'm trying, Momma is trying.... and Tayder is helping me out (he shows his support for me with kisses and love).

So, wish us luck on this next adventure of ours. I think we're gonna need it. #AdoptDontShop

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Our one year anniversary.... I should've known there'd be a fight.

Last weekend was Memorial Day (I mean, I guess technically only Monday was Memorial Day making it just Memorial Day weekend?) and we decided to celebrate it down at Aunt Poot & Uncle D's, per usual.

I should also probably tell you that this month I celebrated an anniversary. A milestone of an anniversary (am I using that right?) that I like to call "our one year together in happiness." That's right, May made it official.... I've been in my current relationship for more than a year now and I'm not even looking for an exit strategy.

Oh yeah, my one year anniversary is with Ricardo, by the way. That's right.... my car.

And no, I'm not in one of those weird "car relationships" like that psycho on My Strange Addiction, but I would be lying if I said I didn't love Ricardo (again, not in the creepy way).

We've been through alot together, he and I, in the short amount of time that we've known each other. And I'd like to think that we've grown with each other and accept one another's flaws. When we first met I was so terrified of driving and there was definitely some give and take (mostly I took and he was patient) getting back in the groove of things.

Now, we're practically two peas in a pod and happy together. Sure, we have our fights and little tufts.... I treat him like a truck (ie: hauling random shit and stuff like that) and he gets back at me by locking me outside while he is RUNNING and I have to have someone with way more street cred and experience than me to break into him, but for the most part, we're in this together.

Here's to a year, little dude. Let's keep going strong! (Like seriously, please keep going strong for YEARS UPON YEARS).

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Memorial Day weekend: 2018. The good, the bad, and the sleepy.

I would like to tell y'all that this Memorial Day weekend creeped by and went off without a hitch. I would like to say that getting off work at 1:30 last Friday made all the difference and it feels like I haven't been to work in FOREVER.

I would love to tell you all of that. But I can't.... because that would be a lie.

Y'all, it literally feels like I just walked out of here and I'm not even sure where the last three days went?! I know that there was alot of yard work, waking up early, cleaning, being incredibly hot/sweaty from the heat/humidity, a cookout and general randomness within those days. But, you could've fooled me, because I was so damn busy all of that just kind of runs together and I'm like whaaa???....

I had a masterful plan of not doing anything and ended up doing the exact opposite of that.

I mowed grass on Tuesday so I wouldn't have to do it for awhile.... but ended up mowing it on Saturday. I planned on taking a whole day "off" and not doing anything at all.... and ended up pulling weeds, dealing with the garden/plants/flowers in the front and back of our house, picking up trash, and removing an entire small tree from our fenceline (and it was a bitch).

Honestly, there was just alot happening and I may or may not have pulled a shoulder muscle.... the jury is still out on that one.

Oh, and on Sunday during our annual Memorial Day family cookout (at Aunt Poot & Uncle D's), we were getting ready to leave and I accidentally locked my keys in my RUNNING car. Not only that, but I'm pretty sure that my family reminding me of it is going to be a daily thing for a long while. (Lots of "don't forget to take your keys everywhere when you get out of the car at all times!" happening). Luckily, three guys come over to hang out with my cousin and one of them with a somewhat criminal/shady past got my car unlocked for me and we didn't have to call anyone or break anything! Thanks, dude!

Basically, it was nice to have the time off, but it just seemed like there wasn't enough of it! Then again, there never is.

And now?! Back to the old salt mines for four days. (Side note: I fixed Momma's wheelchair yesterday, so score one for the home team! I had to take one whole side apart to fix the arm, but it's fixed now!! Just call me MacGyver).

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

World Goth Day is apparently a thing now?! Are we sure about this?!!?!

Y'all, they literally have a day for everything now. There's a "National Grilled Cheese Day" and "International Talk Like a Pirate Day" and are we really doing this? Is this where we're at?

If it is, I'm ok with it, because why in the hell wouldn't we want to have random days to just make us happy by celebrating random shit like "National Kazoo Day" and my personal favorite, "National Hobbit Day."

With all of that being said, apparently May 22 is "World Goth Day" and it's a day to celebrate all things "goth."

Do you like vampires and black and about every single weird stereotype that you can possibly think of (including but not limited to: heavy metal music, black eyeliner, pale skin, and probably chains, but I'm not really 100% on that one?!).

I wasn't what you would consider "goth" at any point in my life. I'm more "redneck" than anything I think, but I have always loved the color black. And yes, it's a color and don't say it isn't because it makes me want to kick you in the face.

My friend B. Davis always likes to say that I like my eyeliner as black as my soul and she's not far from wrong. Sure, I don't wear a whole lot of it now, but that's just pure laziness not a lack of love. Between the ages of 15-22, I didn't leave my house without a shit ton of black eyeliner on. My hair was always a mess and my clothes were "hoboish" at best, but damn did I always have that eyeliner on. Now, I'm simply just too lazy and get hot way too easily to deal with it.

When I was sixteen though, my highschool sweetheart had a thing for black too. Like, a real thing for black. He always wore black from his t-shirts and sweatshirt (the same sweatshirt.... that he always wore even though we lived in hot ass Florida and I almost had a heatstroke every single day) down to his bondage pants (yes, you heard me right) and shoes. Although, I'm pretty sure I remember his socks being white? I could be wrong though.

Anyways, usually people get a bad "rap" (did I use that right?) when they wear clothes like that (because people are a bag of dicks and assume shit that isn't even true), but literally any person that met him would know that his clothes might have been dark and weird, but they certainly didn't match his personality (he was exceptionally sweet) or the rest of him for that matter (he had baby blue eyes and blonde hair), he just liked the color black.

Because again, THAT IS A COLOR.

In honor of "World Goth Day" I shared a "throwback" photo of myself (at sixteen) when I decided to mess around and wear my boyfriend's clothes. Literally everything that I'm wearing in the picture was his (with the exception of the shirt.... it was mine) and clearly we all thought that we were way cooler than we actually were. (And by "we" I mean me, him, my friend Noodle, and her boyfriend).

Twenty-eight year old Katie just couldn't help but to call sixteen year old Katie out.
Oh, this is too hilarious.
Happy World Goth Day, y'all!!

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

I may very well fall over dead from a variety of possibilities.

Y'all, remember when I mentioned that I had been doing a shit ton of yard work? Yeah well, yesterday may have killed me.

And not to be dramatic or anything (yeah, ok), but I'm pretty sure that this is never gonna end and I may or may not join the Witness Protection Program (ala Joyce and Crabman).

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing maintenance yard work (I don't particularly like it, but I don't hate it either), but whoever lived in our house before us was a real asshole when it came to "keeping things up" in the yard department (ie: they didn't).

The house was ok (I'm assuming whoever was selling it probably had to fix a few things when their tenants moved out?), but the yard is (or I guess, was?) a damn disaster zone.

I did our front flower bed when I got home from work yesterday (the big one that I removed bushes from on Sunday) and the side of our house and in the process dug up a ridiculous amount of shit. I actually dug up four wire brushes. FOUR. Who in the hell buys four wire brushes in their entire lifetime let alone within a small amount of time just to bury in a flower bed? Is there some kind of urban legend or superstition that I don't know about?!

Also, I think I may have pulled something in my right shoulder/neck (so.... schneck?!), because it hurts and burns, but it could also be because my entire body is sore and I feel like I've been hit by a truck. A really big one at that. There's also a ton more to do and while I know it has to be done and I want it done, I have absolutely no desire to do any of it. Especially today, because I am tired. And I know that's not an excuse and things "still have to be done even though you're tired" and I'm not the only one that gets tired, I really ain't feeling it today.

My feet are swollen and my body hurts. Basically, I want to go home, put on comfy clothes, drink booze, and watch tv. Will I get to? Probably not. Do I really want to? Hell yes.

Side note: This humidity is killing me and my hair (and I want to chop it ALL off BAD). Tayder understands me.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Why I wear two rings on "that finger" without being married.

I recently got asked on social media if I was "engaged" or "seeing someone special" because in a picture I posted, you could see two rings on "that finger" and people started freaking out. And by people, I mean some of my friends that should've known better (no worries, most (ie: my best ones) did.... they know me far too well to not know why I have those two rings).

I don't wear jewelry. I used to wear quite a bit of it when I was younger (I'm talking three necklaces, two arms full of random bracelets, earrings all the way around- about thirteen piercings in each ear, three to four rings, and a belly button ring AT A TIME AND MINIMUM), but once I started working at the nursing home I took all jewelry off except earrings and belly button ring. Then, I took out the earrings.... and last year I decided it was time to say goodbye to the belly ring (because a belly ring is a young gal's game, and this Katie ain't young no 'mo) and took it out, leaving myself pretty bare.

And that sounds kind of dirty, but I swear isn't.

I'm also pretty adamant about liking the fact that I'm single and have absolutely no desire to be married.... EVER.

When I was around sixteen/seventeen, my high school sweetheart got me a necklace, one of his rings that I wore (that had a giant skull, because we were too cool for our own damn good), and a promise ring (it was beautiful and you couldn't pry it from my cold little pale grubby hands), that I no longer have (the sweetheart or the ring), and other than that, I've never worn a piece of jewelry for a purpose until now.

You see, I wear my jewelry for the same reason that most people do (no, not marriage).... for the sentimental value that it holds.

The "waterfall" ring that I wear was originally my Grammy's. She had worn it for years and gave it to me when I was eighteen years old. We were really close and I'm not sure why she chose this ring (she had a bajillion at one time) or me to give it to, but she did, and I love it for that reason. I'm not a "fancy" kind of girl, so if it wasn't sentimental, I wouldn't wear it. Plain and simple. And even though I've had it since I was eighteen, I never started really wearing it until about two years ago (remember, I couldn't wear rings when I was a CNA), and found my jewelry box while unpacking.

The second ring, I wear behind the "waterfall" ring and it's a cross inside of a heart/flat band. You may think that I wear this ring for religious purposes (I don't), but I actually wear it, because it's my Momma's. She wore this ring throughout the majority of my childhood and probably still would if she could. We found it a few weeks ago when we ran across an old box while going through boxes to get rid of/store things and I've been wearing it ever since (with her blessing/permission). This way, I always have a little piece of both of them with me at all times (because all of the personality traits, sarcasm, and attitude I get from them apparently isn't enough).

And I wear them together on "that" finger for two reasons.... because it only takes up one finger and that's the one they fit.

Monday, May 14, 2018

So.... much.... damn.... yardwork. Can I get a beer or something after this?!

Y'all, it's that time of year when you are forced to come out of your holes and prepare to see the sun and be out in the ridiculous notion of society. Sure, we all complain about the cold all winter long, but aren't we still a little sad when the time comes to see people again?! Especially when there's so much sun and shorts and shit like that involved?!

No?! Just me?! Moving on then.

When we moved into our house back in December, I knew that there was going to be alot of yard work to take care of come warm weather. Sure, we're all prepared for "maintenance" but there were things that were going to have to be done before the "maintenance" portion could set in.

There was trash to clean up, brush to be burned, weeds to be yanked, bushes to be removed, flowers and vegetables to be planted, and I probably could've cut/trimmed the yard even though I just did it on Thursday. (P.s. I didn't do it again.... yet). Also, there's some "refiguring" that's probably going to be done at some point, but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Or not.... we'll decide then.

Out of all the things that were done yesterday, I'm going to say that I'm probably most happy that those ugly bushes out front are gone. And that's really saying something, because the brush/stone/firewood piles were a giant pain in my ass (and my trunk is a literal mess from hauling shit away). Luckily, Aunt Poot decided to take the brush (and bushes) to her burn pile for me. Score!

It's been a long few weeks.... but I'm good with it. Mostly.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Just because I love Seann William Scott doesn't mean I'm happy about this.

Most people know that I love watching TV, as I make no effort to hide it. In fact, I talk about "my shows" regularly.... even long after they've said their goodbyes. (#AlwaysTellerTuesday)

With that being said, there are very few shows that I watch "each week." Sure, I watch reruns and random episodes, but there are just very few that I tune into each week to find out what's happening. However, there are those select few: Hawaii Five-O, MacGyver, SWAT.... and Lethal Weapon. (Also, do you see a trend i the kinds of shows I like? Because I just realized it and apparently it's action and comedy).

But now, they have decided to ruin a little bit of my weekly lineup, because they have replaced one of the main (and my favorite) characters on Lethal Weapon.... Clayne Crawford.

And yeah, they replaced him with Seann William Scott (aka, forever Stifler, sorry to typecast, but we all know that's what comes up when you think of him even though he's got other great roles), and I love him, BUT IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME AND Y'ALL ARE ASSHOLES.

First they ruin Ash Williams for me, and now this. I call bullshit and vote for a recount (on both).

Now, I can't even watch and enjoy Stifler's new show, because they ruined one of my old favorite ones with it. I mean, they've all been crazy with cancelling shows/revamping show, but if trying to "revamp" OUAT didn't teach y'all anything, then I don't think anything will. (Although, apparently they're bringing back Last Man Standing and my Uncle is gonna be very happy about this). Dammit, now I'm gonna have to break in a new show. I don't suppose y'all know where Clayne Crawford is heading, do you?!

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Ash Williams is officially retiring.... and I'm in mourning.

On April 20, 2018 the show Ash vs. Evil Dead was cancelled and Bruce Campbell has officially retired.... the character of Ash Williams. Bruce Campbell himself isn't retiring (I don't think?), but he is retiring Ash Williams. RIP Ashley "Ash" Joanna "J" Williams. *insert all the tears here because I'm in a glass case of emotions!!*

I would be lying if I said this didn't make me a tad emotional, as I have loved Bruce Campbell nearly my entire life, and Ash Williams by extension. Some of my funniest memories with my friend Rachel (and her brothers) involve this character and he's the entire reason that I watched all seven season of Burn Notice (although, I did end up loving it for itself later).

Even the name of my blog is tied to an inside joke/story pertaining to this. And while I will continue to watch Bruce Campbell in all things (I'm a big fan), it's just a little sad to know that "Ash Williams" is "officially retired."

Do I know this? Yes. Can I accept this? I'm working on it. It's harder than it looks and I may cry a little.

Bruce Campbell released a statement to let all of his fans know this and try to let us all down easy like when you tell someone who asked you to the prom no:

"Good people, Evil dead fans everywhere, I bid you a heartfelt farewell playing Ash- the character I took acting lessons with for 39 years. I am hereby retiring from that portrayal. It's time. I followed Ash from his formative years thru his mid-life crisis and decline. What a thrill! What a privilege! We had a great resurgence with the help of Stars (kudos not jeers, folks). They made it possible for 15 more hours of Evil Dead-ness in your life- the equivalent of ten more features! Is Ash dead? Never. Ash is as much a concept as a person. Where there is evil in this world, the must be one to counter- man or woman, it matters not. Thanks for watching. Love, Bruce."

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go cry, eat fourteen tacos, drink three bottles of wine, and reenact his most iconic lines.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

What's been happening lately? Seriously, I've been busy and want to know.

Y'all, it's been a long couple of weeks and I am 157% dragging ass. It probably doesn't help that I'm also trying to fight off some kind of weird head/chest cold and allergies combination, but that is neither here nor there. (It's just that time of year).

I don't even know where to start really, and I'll probably end up stopping even before I get everything out (because as I said: dragging ass), but we all pick up and keep trucking along, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE DO.

Momma's had a few appointments lately and I've been taking her since Aunt Poot is currently down from having eye surgery (it was yesterday and she's doing pretty well considering somebody just stuck a laser and knife in her eyeball). We went to the wound clinic last Friday (she hit her foot on her wheelchair a couple of weeks ago and while it looked pretty superficial and I was cleaning it, we still wanted to go to a professional, because better safe than sorry.... learned that lesson the hard way last year) and luckily (knock on wood) the nurse confirmed that it was superficial, but still bandaged everything up and put a compression bandage on to help with the healing.... we go back this Friday for the follow-up appointment. She's been a pretty good sport about the whole thing.

And yesterday she had an appointment at her nephrologists, because she's been holding an excessive amount of fluid and since she has kidney disease, we went there to hopefully figure out what's going on and get her some help, because there's so much fluid that she's miserable. He ordered blood work, we have to schedule an ultrasound to be on the safe side, and he gave her some lasix to help.... her follow-up appointment is at the end of July.

Then there's all of the yard work. The incredibly large amounts of yard work that seem to not diminish no matter how hard I work at it. Luckily, I'm almost done with all major things (everything for the most part is planted, random wood pile is hauled off, almost all of the random cement block pile is gone, and I'm working on the big ass brush pile).... I'm not sure who lived in our house before us, but they couldn't keep a decent yard to save their lives. It's been so damn trashy and alot of work. (Side note: our second storage shed is supposed to be delivered sometime next month and they deliver/install it so silver lining!).

And all of that on top of the usual go to work, clean house, cook dinner, do laundry, and all of the other random thing that we adults have to do and here I am.... sleepy and ready for a Netflix binge (that I probably won't get until maybe next winter).

All in all, I'm good with it.... but a girl can still be ok and tired!

Thursday, May 3, 2018

My brother did that shit on purpose. *we'll never stop being six and ten*

Last weekend, I planted my "garden." And I say it like that, because when I say "garden" I mean I only planted a few things, because I didn't actually want to put A WHOLE LOT of effort in. You say kind of lazy, I say I know what I'm gonna do and it ain't that. So, I only planted things that I liked and wanted to deal with.

Which included: six tomato plants (because I apparently need six different varieties of tomatoes?), red cabbage, lettuce, onions, yellow peppers, and herbs (rosemary, english thyme, cilantro, sweet mint, flat leaf parsley, and lavender).

I've never tried to grow herbs, but I figured since I had been gardening pretty much my entire life (vegetables that is, not flowers.... I kill all plants that aren't vegetables), I could at least give it a go. (My entire childhood in Tennessee we had a GIANT garden every single year that fed us throughout the Winter months).

A couple years ago at the house we lived in before the one we have now (you know, after that whole brief "I'm homeless" period after deciding to buy a house instead of rent), my brother was all, "let's have a garden!" And I initially agreed, because he said that he would help me with all of it from start to finish.... like a dumbass, I believed him.

Needless to say, I ended up doing the entire thing from start to finish BY MYSELF (although, he did eat the veggies out of it and complain that "they weren't up to his girlfriends standards"). Seriously, he did NOTHING in the way of helping with ANY OF IT. The next year, he wanted one and I simply said, NO, and when he tried to convince me how much he would help and what his "plans" were, and all of that nonsense, I was like BYE FELICIA. And we didn't have one (because, I didn't do it and he surely wasn't going to).

Besides, he's only at our house two weeks a month (it's a very confusing custody thing or something and don't even ask, because even I don't really know), so he helps with very little. (And yes, I'm allowed to talk all the shit about my brother that I want.... because you didn't have to grow up with the little Damien-reincarnate).

Anyways, so I planted my "little garden" in the flowerbed directly behind my house (because I'd rather have veggies than flowers that need round the clock maintenance.... and again, I kill flowers), because that seemed like the PERFECT place to have one. It has shade, but also gets sun and it was pretty cleared out to begin with.

And it is perfect.... especially since I haven't seen my brother even go near those flower beds. Until Saturday after I planted all of my stuff. I hadn't been done planting for TEN MINUTES before he was walking all up in that flowerbed ("just because") and I had to tell him to get the f*ck out of it before he walked on my plants and he informed me, "I'm not gonna hurt these f*cking plants" and then I had to tell him to get his baby out of the flowerbed and he screamed, "he's not gonna hurt anything in that flowerbed!!" and I had to inform him that he may not, but if he picks up a rock or piece of mulch and sticks it in his mouth, he'll get hurt. I mean, he's got a little throat and he's TRYING TO EAT ROCKS.

I'm pretty sure he thought I was making shit up at that point, but I wasn't trying to be an asshole, I had just literally taken like four things out of that kids mouth that day. He literally puts EVERYTHING in his mouth and I feel like that's a nasty little habit.

The point is, after my brother made this big "I'm not gonna hurt anything, damn you're such a b*tch, Katie" speech, I went out to water my plants later that afternoon and realized that he had not only stepped on, but completely DEMOLISHED my cilantro plant. Like, it looked like he stepped on it, moved his foot around, and then scraped his shoe over it. "Not gonna hurt anything" my ass. This is our childhood all over again, and I can already hear Momma shaking her head at us.

So yeah, I know he did that shit on purpose.... he'll deny it, but he did. And now.... I'm off to plot my revenge.