Thursday, July 20, 2017

4,017 days (give or take one or two) late.

So.... on Tuesday (7/18) I went and took my Driver's test. And.... I actually passed it on the first try. Now, I know you're thinking, "but Katie, you're twenty-seven, why didn't you already have your license?" and to that I say, let that shit go.

Like, Elsa would.

This past December I had went and gotten my permit and while I wanted to go and take the test exactly six months later (how long I had to hold the permit) I was unaware of the fact that you had to schedule your exam.

A post shared by Katie Hopwood (@kdhopwood) on

Back in the day you could just go into the BMV and they had someone there to give you your exam just like every other thing.... then again, they also used to make your license plates and ID cards/licenses right there that day and now they give you a paper substitute and you have to wait for 10-14 business days to receive them via mail, but I digress.

I tried to make my appointment online, but it doesn't allow you to make the appointments more than two weeks in advance and they had NOTHING in that time frame. So, when Momma and I had to go in and get our plates for Ricardo I went ahead and scheduled it.

And then proceeded to have a constant anxiety attack for the next three to four weeks.

But, aside from my little insecurities, I'm fairly comfortable in my car now. I'm still scared shitless in others, but I'm pretty good in mine. And while that doesn't sound like a big "to do" to anybody else, it is to me, as it's a fear that I've been struggling with for the past eight years.

I decided to try and overcome this fear months ago and slowly, but surely have made progress. At least, that's what they keep telling me. And by "they" I mean me and my occasional passenger. With everything that's been happening with Momma, between the eye surgeries, and her emergency surgery, (not too mention her stroke three years ago), I really couldn't have made this decision at a better time (except if I would have made it like, ten years ago- NOT THE POINT).

Now, I have a license. Like, not a baby license, but a regular one. You know what this means? Watch out, people.

And by "watch out" I mean, I drive the speed limit and try to follow all the rules of the road, so I'm not one of those "I don't know how to use my f*cking blinker" type of people.
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Saturday, July 8, 2017

When the game stands tall.

While I am not one for over emotions or letting people into my personal business (or space, for that matter), I feel the need to say this.

Sometimes in life, unexpected things happen, and not always is it a welcomed surprise. There are times that an event or circumstance comes forth and whether it's to test your resilience, strength, or some kind of strange joke that no one finds amusing, we have to learn how to deal and take what comes our way. No matter how much we try to avoid and plan.... sometimes, life decides to divert from whatever your "game plan" was (even if it's not all that great of a "game plan" to begin with).

(Before I start, let me just say, she's ok).


On July 5th we had to rush Momma to the ER. What started as something that we had thought was the flu (she had all symptoms of the flu and no outward appearance of anything else), turned out to be so much more devastating and life altering. She had an infection in her foot that had been brewing for quite some time and a certain event had aggravated it enough to make it make its grand appearance. In a matter of twelve hours, my sweet, loving, caring, vibrant mother became lethargic, incoherent, septic, and fell out of consciousness. With that situation presented, I had to make some decisions that no one ever wants to make, but sometimes have to be made nevertheless. They informed me that if I didn't make these decisions, that I would not have my mother longer than a few hours. So, I made them, and I would do it again.... a thousand times over.

On Friday evening, she had surgery. It was scary and sad and something that we could have never seen coming. But you know what? Because of this, we still have her, and that is something that is invaluable. To say the progress that she has made since July 5th, and from the hour of her surgery, is impressive would be the most vast understatement of the century. Every single person that she's come in contact with is beyond impressed by her resilience, progress, determination, and good nature. She's got probably the most positive outlook of any person that I have ever met. We've got a long road ahead of us, but we're more than willing to do it. She's got a lot of work ahead of her, as this is not just a physical change, but one of emotion, mentality, and lifestyle in general. But we're doing it, and we will continue to do it.

I say all of that, so I can say this.

The amount of love, support, respect, and understanding that we.... that I.... have received during this time is beyond anything that I could have ever imagined. I always knew that I was lucky to be surrounded by the loving people that I have in my life, but I don't think you can ever truly grasp any of it until you don't know how you're going to get through something, and they're standing next to you to remind you that you can and you most definitely will. I've always prided myself on being the "strong" one. There have been very few times in my life that my emotions have gotten the best of me and I most certainly hate asking for help. I always have and I believe I always will. Y'all didn't make me ask. Never once did I have to ask, beg, or even doubt. You were just there for any and all things. I've never understood what someone meant when they said they were surrounded by their "tribe" and I always thought it was kind of silly.... but I get it now. You offered every kind of support imaginable, and when I was stubborn, you made me take it anyways. I don't think that there are words I could say or any way that I can ever repay you and make you understand how much all of it has meant to me. Seriously, thank you. I know that sounds a little plain, but I can honestly think of nothing better. You have no idea how much this has meant to me and how grateful that I am. From the bottom of my heart, and the sincerest part of myself, thank you. I love y'all more than you'll ever know.

We have a long road ahead, but I have no doubt we'll do it, and you have all been, and continue to be, a big part of that. I tried to put it into words, but there really aren't any that do it. So instead, I say, thank you beyond words and I love you beyond measure.
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Friday, June 30, 2017

I like to switch back and forth between The Walking Dead and whatnot.

Coral. CORAL. CORRAAALLLLLLL! Yeah, he still hasn't learned to stay in the f*cking house.

Remember when I talked about binge-watching The Walking Dead and then I said I had for the most part given up? Well, guess what?! I changed my mind. I know, that's so completely out of character for me, **coughcough full of shit coughcough** but here we are. I have three episodes of season four left and what the f*ck is even happening?!

While I remember like four years ago I watched the season four premiere (and I think also the second episode?!) I quickly had to give it up (against my will), but I had never really got to watch the first three seasons, so I was pretty damn confused.


While I admit I was a bit skeptical on whether or not I was going to love Michonne on the same level as I love Glenn/Daryl/ Maggie/Hershel etc (strictly because I couldn't figure out WHY anyone would want to hang out with only Andrea on the regular) she very quick, fast, and in a damn hurry became one of my all time favorites. How can she not be? She's just so matter-of-fact and badass, she totally gets my eternal character devotion. Why she loves Andrea and Carl so much I'll never know, but either way, I got mad love for her. And honestly, could Danai Gurira be anymore beautiful while kicking ass and staring a bitch down?! I THINK NOT.

Did no one see this whole Lori being a giant pain in the ass/inconvenience while pregnant thing? While I admit it's easier to sympathize with a woman in the zombie apocalypse when she has a giant pregnant belly, if anybody forgot how much trouble she had caused and how much of a pain in the ass that she had been in the past.... y'all are crazy. Watching Maggie have to cut her baby out of her and Carl shoot her in the head though.... ok, I'll give you that, shit got real.

Speaking of Maggie.... I appreciate the fact that her and Glenn have pulled through and are still together. Because let's be honest, the apocalypse has got to be stressful as f*ck and we all know what stress can do to a relationship. But they're still going strong even through Merle/The Governor. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure shit won't be the same after Hershel's death (NOOOO!!!!!!) and since they're currently separated I don't know when they'll see each other again, but I firmly believe in Glenn + Maggie.

Speaking of Merle....

I wasn't one bit surprised when it turns out that he's still alive.... or the fact that he had hooked up with a crew of villains. I love that he turned on it all for Daryl, but come on dude, Carol will SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE over Daryl. And while I feel he redeemed himself (and I always thought he was hilarious), he was still an asshole. You know, his natural personality. But I knew as soon as he let Michonne go, he had a plan, because through it all it was all about Daryl.... watching Daryl actually having to put Walker Merle down was devastating.

Can we all just agree that Milton is awesome?! Like, #TeamWalkerMilton4Life. He was a little iffy when he was alive (although I liked him for the most part), but he ended up being funny (him and Hershel had some good laughs), and he bit Andrea, so Milton is good in my book.

Oh, The Governor.

Before Milton bit the bullet.... and Andrea.... they both had prime opportunities to kill Psycho Phillip aka The Governor. While Milton had his chance, there was no better chance than Andrea had. She literally could have slit his throat while he slept (what is it with her banging the crazies?!) and then Hershel could still be alive, Axel (the only prisoner I liked) could still be alive, there is just a plethora of shit that could be different. And that whole two episodes dedicated to The Governor to get me to have sympathy for him and try to get me a little bit on his side?! HOW DARE THEY. Didn't work even a little. Besides Michonne told you she was gonna kill the shit out of you, and I had no doubt in her at all.

I'm not a bit surprised that the family he hooked up with is now in a shitty situation. The little girl is dead (totally seen that coming), Martinez is dead (after he took your dumbass back in! he should've known better), the mom he was sleeping with ended up shooting him in the face (after Michonne took care of business!), and poor Tara has run off somewhere. I don't know where she is, but I know her girlfriend is dead as shit (thanks to crazy Lizzie) and she's probably lost somewhere. I hope they find her/she joins them, because I think I like Tara.

Aside from Hershel (insert all the tears here), Axel, and Merle, we lost some real good other ones.... I didn't care about Lori or Andrea, but T-Dog?! COME ON. I know he saved Carol and who knows how many more, but I'm still sad about the way that went down.

Yay, Kyle Gallner!! **literally 25 minutes later** Dammit. #RIPKyleGallner

Now the prison is gone (after the last 1.5 seasons was spent building it into a home) and countless people are dead, everybody is separated (I think Daryl has Beth or something?!), Carol is gone (for now.... I think she'll be back.... Rick was SO sensitive about her killing a couple of people), Tyrese is with those little girls (I don't care what anybody says, that oldest one is a little psycho), Glenn and Sasha can barely move (that flu/sickness really got them all down.... I was totally worried about Glenn!), Rick is beat the f*ck up on a whole new level, and I still have three episodes left in the fourth season.

And while Carl is being a little asshole (you know, his natural state), I'm hoping my opinion of him can still turn around, because you can't have the whole "pudding" talk without a little laughter.

Rick: "it's good that you found more food" Carl: "I found more.... but I ate it" Rick: "that's ok.... what was it" Carl: "....... 112 ounces of pudding" **immediate laughter from them and me ensues**

And also that knock on the door? YES. Way to come in there Michonne!!
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Tuesday, June 27, 2017

The week before a holiday (mostly work, but a little personal too).

A week from today is July 4th and that means not only am I off next Tuesday, but this week is incredibly sloooowwwwww. Seriously, I'm pretty sure most people take vacation knowing we still need shit to get done. It's utter insanity.

It also means that we'll be off for two days, come to work for one, be off one again, and come back for three. If that's not going to screw with us then I don't know what will. Dani and I were discussing this yesterday and she said she's not sure how long we'll even be here Monday, because it will be that slow.... cut to fifteen minutes later when she said we might not even come in on Monday at all. That would mean four days off in a row.

*record scratch* You have my full and undivided attention.


Whether that happens or not remains to be seen, but to say that I'm not secretly hoping would be a lie. Seriously, that's like 96+ hours of doing whatever in the f*ck I want to. I say that like I won't have to mow grass, clean house, do laundry, cook, and see people. All of those things aside, FREEDOMMM!!

And yes, I feel the need to quote Mel Gibson/William Wallace with such frequency. If it's good enough for Mel, then it's good enough for me (because we love each other.... he just doesn't know it). The point is, Mel understands how great that would be and so do I. Do you ever feel like weekends just aren't long enough? If so, just know, it happens to me too. If not, my bad, yo.

Also today they will be starting to do our HVAC work in our office/new room that we had built on. While it will be a pain in the ass to begin with, it will hopefully make life a lot easier. Not to mention it will be nice for everything to be done so we can go ahead and rearrange our office and be done with it all.

We're also getting different carpet in our office (to match the new room), but once everything is done, we'll have more room and hopefully it will make things a bit more streamlined.... probably not, but here's hoping. 

Thursday is also the last day for my paper tags on my car and I need to go get license plates, but I STILL DON'T have the paperwork for my car back. I've talked to the Finance Manager at the place I bought the car and she has assured me that since it is a problem with the BMV that I can go and give them my Vin# and since it's in "the system" I can get my plates. I don't feel like that's how it works, but I really hope it is, because I'm about to not be able to drive my car.

You ever notice that things just start to close in all at once? Ugh.... here's hoping.
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Monday, June 26, 2017

Harry Potter is 20.... and I am old as f*ck.

On this day in 1997 JK Rowling's book Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (the Sorcerer's Stone to us here in the states) was released. And shit was changed FOR-EVV-ERRRRR.

While I didn't know about this book until four years later (when the first movie was released), it's safe to say that everything would be a lot different without this little anniversary. Just think, when I existed in a world without Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger no one knew how much better the fictional world was about to get.

Don't believe me?! Yeah, tell that to their theme-park. *mic drop*

The point is, a moment like this needs to be documented (and yes, I feel like this is an important enough event in my life to document). From book releases (1997-2007) to movie releases (2001-2011). If you don't want to do the math that's fourteen years. And fourteen years doesn't even begin to describe what this is to certain people. While legit fans love the books as much as the movies, it was the movies that really made it sink in for people. What does all of that boil down to?

10 years, 8 movies (7 books), and $1.342 billion dollars. Yes, BILLION.
And the late great Alan Rickman in yet another one of his amazing roles.
And you're wrong.... Ron and Hermione totally DO belong together FOREVER.

The first run in I had with anything Harry Potter was when I was eleven years old and my friend Amanda wanted me to go with her to the movies. We were pretty inseparable and her Pa agreed that I should come along (that was also the logic used to take me to Guntown Mountain with them). I'm not sure there has ever been two more mesmerized kids in the history of any movie. Just us sitting in that teeny little theater in the town next to our holler of a town.... it was only us, because in the town we grew up in, Harry Potter was considered witchcraft therefore blasphemy for many people. Deep South, amirite?!

We watched that movie and then got a hold of any and every thing Harry Potter. Here we are now as grown adults (I'm 27, she's 28) and we still share that special bond. The "kids might grow up and apart, but true ones are still there no matter what" bond. And Harry Potter is what really cemented that for us at such a young age. Almost twenty years of loving/unbreakable friendship and for that, I am forever grateful.

Thank you, JK Rowling. Love, Dumbledore's Army.... Forever & Always.
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Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Binge-watching is a thing and don't say it's not acceptable.

It's no secret that I watch a lot of television. I do, and I have no regrets about it, because while everyone else is out there "living life" and other things that I have no interest in, I'm cooped up in the AC with my pup, sweatpants on, alcohol in hand, nachos not too far away, binge-watching some pretty worthy television (and some not so worthy, but I'm too lazy to turn it.... quit judging so much).

Can you tell that I love the phrase "binge-watching" more than most phrases? I do. I'm not sure why it calls out to me, but it does and if it were a motto instead of phrase it would be my life motto.

I make make no apologies for this and don't plan to change my tune anytime soon. That aside, I don't think I usually watch the most "popular" shows. The ones I watch are popular, I guess, but they're not Grey's Anatomy (which by the way, I have never watched) or something like that. If someone asked me for advice on which shows to binge-watch (i.e. you kind of really need Netflix, or Hulu, or something to have the "bingeing" capability), these are my top contenders.


Grace and Frankie: First off, if you need a little convincing read this Buzzfeed post and it should give you all that you need, and if not this one definitely should, or you can just take my word for it (and not have any spoilers).

Why you should watch this: It's not your "typical" women have to be clumsy and funny only and the guys are macho and have no emotions kind of show. Everyone is equally funny and plays their part just how you would want them to. The jokes are hilarious, the situations are relatable, and I'm ok with the fact that I'm getting older if it means that I can be like Lily Tomlin.

The Ranch: I was a huge "That 70s Show" fan (and still am). My reigning favorite for its entire run was Steven Hyde (Danny Masterson).... followed closely by Fez (Wilmer Valderrama). While it's Danny Masterson and Ashton Kutcher (who played Michael Kelso on That 70s Show) that take the reigns on this one, there are plenty of 70s Show reunion.... but it still feels like it's a completely different show (because it is). Even my little buddy Wilmer pops up for a recurring guest spot as Umberto.

Why you should watch this: It's hilarious and you'll probably love it as much as I do. Also, Sam Elliott.... enough said.

Stranger Things: I am a sucker for a good 80s show. One of my very favorite movies growing up (and even now) was The Goonies. I can watch Mikey, Mouth, Chunk, and Data screw with Brand, Andy, Stef, and the Fratelli's all day long. This show is kind of like that.

Why you should watch this: It really is a mix of The Goonies, The X-Files, E.T. (another classic), and Stand By Me (#RIPRiverPhoenix). It's basically all off that and so much more. And since Season 2 won't be released until Halloween of this year **coughcough bullshit coughcough** you have plenty of time to catch up. But remember, #TeamJonathan over Steve's hero hair all day, every day.

Santa Clarita Diet: Oh, Timothy Olyphant, you crack me the hell up. People can literally talk me into watching just about anything as long as they mention that he is in it. Add Drew Barrymore and you have a hilarious match made in heaven. Not too mention it has a couple of great people playing the teens and The Waitress as the neighbor/mom.

Why you should watch this: Did everything I just say not convince you enough already?

On my Netflix queue that I've finished: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (way more than once), The League, Fuller House, Gilmore Girls (and its revival), Sirens (I'm sad this show only lasted two seasons, it's great!).

Also on my Netflix queue in various stages of completion: Criminal Minds, New Girl, Breaking Bad, Burn Notice, The Following, Friends, Dexter, That 70s Show (I watched it the whole time it was on television), Baby Daddy (I haven't started the newest season, because it's the last and that makes me sad), Supernatural, The Blacklist, My Name is Earl, Bates Motel, The Walking Dead, Young & Hungry, Peaky Blinders, Haven, Sons of Anarchy (I watched its entire original series run, so I'm all up on that too).

On my Netflix queue that I haven't started yet: Lost Girl, The Originals, Bitten, The Night Shift (I have watched this show since it premiered so I'm all caught up for the season 4 premiere), Shameless, Parks and Recreation, American Horror Story, Weeds, Bones, The Killing, One Tree Hill, iZombie, Salem, Penny Dreadful, Nikita,
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Monday, June 19, 2017

Newer country songs that I'm loving right now.

(YES, I LOVE Country music. And I don't care who knows it). We all have "those" songs.

You know the ones I'm talking about.... the ones that make you "think" or take you back to a certain time/place in your mind. While it's not a good time to stare off into space while you're driving down the road, you can still enjoy them. There are a few newer songs that weren't necessarily there when I made the memory, but take me to them just the same.

And besides that, when you enjoy the music, there's no wrong music.... remember that (and yes, that includes Nickelback- which I love and people will just have to get the hell over it).

Think a Little Less: Michael Ray


Break Up With Him: Old Dominion


Gettin' You Home: Chris Young


Record Year: Eric Church


Somewhere on a Beach: Dierks Bentley


Play it Again: Luke Bryan


Girl Crush: Little Big Town


Like a Wrecking Ball: Eric Church


Middle of a Memory: Cole Swindell


Fast: Luke Bryan


You Ain't Worth the Whiskey: Cole Swindell


Better Man: Little Big Town


Hope You Get Lonely Tonight: Cole Swindell


And while nothing can beat my classic go-to's (Let's hear it for some Brooks n Dunn, Randy Travis, Garth Brooks, and George Strait), these don't seem to be all that bad to jam out to. And while I would suggest you to pay attention to the road.... while you're sitting still, cooking, cleaning, showering, or basically anything that doesn't require 100% of your attention like driving, give them all a listen. 

You never know, you may just like them like I do. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some "rockin' out" to do. Here's to starting off a Monday that hopefully won't make you cry all the way into the week.
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Tuesday, June 6, 2017

My belly button betrayed me.

First things first.... are we counting belly button as one word or two? Like, belly...button or bellybutton? I know I could just say "naval" but that sounds kind of pretentious and we know I don't play like that.... get back to me.

A little back story: I got my bellybutton (belly button?) pierced when I was twelve years old.

Yes, twelve. My Momma didn't play with that whole "you're too young" shit. Some of my friends were already pregnant by twelve (seriously, she was thirteen, but I was twelve), so if the worst thing I ever did was pierce a little something like that, we were good. (Also, I didn't sneak and do it, she signed for it.... I knew better than to try and sneak something like that!)
I'm twenty-seven now and I have never had one problem with my piercing. Not one. In fact, for the most part, I actually forgot that I had it. I never "showed it off" and most people never even knew that I had it. Why would they? I don't wear crop tops or bikinis (or bathing suits of any sorts for that matter). I've just never been one to wear things like that.

But while I'm still a few years away, I am getting closer to thirty.... closer to it than teen years, at least. I thought that it might just be time to take it out. For the sake of age (and because it kept getting caught on random shit) I figured it was time to go ahead and take it out.... just "because." It really did for some reason just seem (feel?) like it was time.

So, I did. I took it out almost two months ago and didn't really think much about it. In fact, I've had it for so long (longer than I've NOT had it.... fifteen years) that it still feels like the metal bar is in there. I know that sounds gross, but it's actually pretty cool (to me). Then a couple of days ago I got curious just to see if it would still go through (you can thank whiskey for that) since it has been almost two months, so I tried it.... and IT DID.

I didn't think much about it (again, because whiskey), but the next day my stomach was super sore. Like, a sore that I had never even experienced before. When I lifted my shirt to see what was up I realized that my piercing was infected. Yes, infected. Not the horrible "ahhh!!!" kind of infected, but infected nonetheless. The piercing that I have had for FIFTEEN F*CKING YEARS and have NEVER had an issue with became infected.

Why? You may ask. That's the best part. Apparently within the one-two months that I had removed it, my body has decided that I am now allergic to that type of metal (the reason that I wear no other jewelry anymore-aside from my Grammy's ring- is because I am highly allergic to most jewelry metals (metals?)). And now, I am allergic to that one as well. **insert exasperated eye roll here** And now, my old piercing has to be cleaned, have antibiotic ointment applied, and covered with a bandage until it heals.... dumb.

I guess I was right to begin with.... this Katie right here ain't young no 'mo.
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Monday, June 5, 2017

It's always cold in doctors offices and waiting rooms.

A little while back I had mentioned that Momma had to have surgery on her left eye to fix the problem she was having (her retina had become detached and needed immediate attention). That was about five months ago and since then she's had two more surgeries.

And I haven't mentioned it until now (except on Instagram), because I'm horrible and forget to fill the world in on things that I'm already aware of.

The second surgery didn't go as lovely as one would hope and that's why the third surgery was put into place.... except we were pretty happy to find out that not as much was wrong the third time going in as they had originally expected (yay!!).


And while we were all extremely happy that it went smoothly and things are looking up for the most part, the day was not without its.... moments.

Originally her surgery had been scheduled for 10:00am (6/1), so I went to work for a couple of hours and left to head out to her appointment. While it was scheduled for 10:00 am they didn't get her in until late.... like, 1:00 pm. While the surgery was easier they didn't know what they would be getting into and it took around 2.5 to 3 hours to complete.

Do you know how long that is? To frame it out a little bit, we watched an entire episode of Dr. Oz (which I'm usually against, but it as his interview with Megyn Kelly) an entire episode of Ellen, and an entire episode of Days of Our Lives (and I'm convinced that soap operas are insane).

She recovered for quite a bit (about an hour after she got out of surgery) and then we loaded her into the car to head home.... but Aunt Poot's car wouldn't start. Because really. After a bunch of fruitless/pain in the ass phone calls and a jump from two extremely nice nurses (thank y'all SO. DAMN. Much.), we were on our way home. And then a lady in a Dodge Charger almost sideswiped us going about 65.... and then another car tried to push us out in front of an 18-wheeler.... and then we got stuck by a train. After an entire process that took somewhere around ten hours we were home and I got her all settled in. 

The next morning I took her in (downtown) for her post-op appointment and he said while we don't want to jinx anything (please, no!), every thing is looking quite lovely and hopeful. **insert my hopeful/happy sigh here**

And now? She's doing good and we're taking it all one step at a time. Wish us luck.
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Monday, May 22, 2017

2017 showed no mercy in television land this year.

Shows I was surprised to see cancelled: Chicago Justice. Last Man Standing. 2 Broke Girls. Castle. Outsiders.

Show that I'm extremely sad to see cancelled: Baby Daddy. Bones. Bates Motel (even though we knew going in).

Shows that really don't effect my mind at all, but also got cancelled: The Vampire Diaries. Reign. Rosewood. The Great Indoors.


Shows I'm happy to see renewed: Lethal Weapon. The Middle. The Big Bang Theory. NCIS: New Orleans. The Night Shift. New Girl (even if it is only for a final season).

Shows I'm happy to see renewed (that I catch on Netlix or Hulu.... or "here and there" re-runs): It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Drunk History. Fuller House. Grace and Frankie. Peaky Blinders. Santa Clarita Diet. Stranger Things. Supernatural. Vikings. Young & Hungry.

Shows that everybody else is happy to see renewed: This Is Us. The Walking Dead. Grey's Anatomy. How to Get Away with Murder. Modern Family. Once Upon a Time. NCIS. Kevin Can Wait. 13 Reasons Why. American Horror Story. Scorpion (I'm assuming I would be happy about this given that I hadn't given up at the beginning of this past season.... I just can't with Paige).

Shows that I don't watch, but for some odd reason am happy they were renewed: The Mick. The Blacklist. Criminal Minds. Chicago Fire/PD/Med. The Originals. Lucifer. Ash vs Evil Dead. iZombie. The Man in the High Castle. Mom. Outlander.

Shows that I meant to watch, but never did, and now I'm pretty sure it's my fault that they got cancelled: Imaginary Mary. Impastor. Sleepy Hollow. Grimm. Timeless. Scratch that, it's been un-cancelled. Emerald City. Salem.
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Tuesday, May 16, 2017

I'm not big on being an adult.

Picture it: Yesterday, May 15, 2017. A hot and muggy afternoon. A young peasant girl (aka, me) on the brink of insanity (I can't turn my brain off for five seconds) and with hair resembling that of Marv from Home Alone (#humidityproblems).

She along with her mother drives to a unfamiliar place to talk to people whom she had never met. It was scary.... and pricey. There they were, swapping stories and life circumstances for hours and just like that (like, 3.5 hours later) they walk out, never to be heard from again.

And by never being heard from again, I mean I totally called and have to go sign papers today. Oh yeah, somewhere in that story I forgot to actually get to the point.... I bought a car.


Well ok, that's not 100% accurate, because I'm actually in the process of buying a car and there's going to be payments made on it, so it won't technically be "mine" until that time. Except, I still have to pay for it and I'm the only one that's going to be driving it so it is mine? I don't know. All I know is I had a slight panic attack and now I have a different car.

I still have my original car, but it won't be around long (and that makes me incredibly sad).

We've been talking about having to get a different car for awhile now (*insert my sad face right here), and we knew that it was going to have to be sooner rather than later.... our poor little Betsy just isn't going to make it through another winter. But she's been a good ole gal and I have plenty of memories with her.... and she has more than quadrupled times infinity her value in the fact that we've had her for ten years, we've had to replace the radiator and water-pump and she only cost us $48. Yes, that's right and not a typo.... $48.

Now she's ready for retirement and while that makes me very sad (like, tear-inducing sad), I had to move on (against my will.... even though I knew it had to be done).

And while Betsy is enjoying her first day of semi-retirement, her replacement has stepped up to the plate to show us what he's got. Yes, Betsy wanted her successor to be a boy. A younger boy with far less miles life experience on him than his predecessor, but with a shiny purple body and a tire warranty skills of his own.

He knows he has big shoes to fill and I just hope that he can step up to the plate. Now, if you'll excuse me I have some mourning to do, some excitement to feel (kind of?), and some driving to do/papers to sign. And while the process and readjustment is far from over, I know that within time, we'll all adapt.... probably.

Oh yeah, and since he's a spicy little quesadilla (2011 Ford Fiesta) I named him.... Ricardo.
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Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Grace and Frankie.... and Coyote.

I started watching the Netflix Original Series- Grace and Frankie- last night.

I've been trying to find a new show to get in to, but can't really find anything that holds on after awhile. Good thing I always have my good ole trusty fallback- It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (my go to show for literally every occasion).

I'm not the only one that does that.... am I? You know, start a show that you're really into and think that you're going to "binge-watch" but you eventually lose all interest in everything and by the time you feel like picking it back up (if you actually do want to pick it back up) you kind of have to start over, because it's been so long you forgot what's going on?


I'm still on the same episode of The Walking Dead that I stopped at months ago. I started watching it back in December and quickly binge-watched the first season.... and then I quickly lost momentum, because the last episode I watched was actually on Valentine's Day. I checked out at: Season3, Episode13.

And then there's Breaking Bad. If I'm being perfectly honest I started watching this show, because I have a serious crush on Aaron Paul.... ok fine, I have a crush on Jesse Pinkman. Back in February I quickly binge watched the first season and one episode of season two and haven't picked it back up since. I checked out at: Season2, Episode2.

Not too mention I started Dexter for the second time (I originally watched it back in 2014? 2015? and got all the way into the last season.... and then gave up) back in January and promptly gave up for the second time. I checked out at: Season1, Episode8. In March I started Young & Hungry, binge watched the first season and randomly gave up, but I have the intention of picking it back up, whether I do or not is yet to be seen. I checked out at: Season2, Episode18.

We even decided to give Hulu a try and I started the show Drunk History in early April and was surprised by how hilarious the first of it was. And then.... well, you know. I checked out at: Season2, Episode5. I switched back to Netflix (though we still have Hulu) and thought that I would watch that show 13 Reasons Why that everyone has been so hyped up about. Yeah. I checked out at: Season1, Episode5. Decided to watch The Following again, since I watched the entire first season when it debuted on tv, but I lost it somewhere in season two. I guess that has been in the last month or so? I checked out at: Season1, Episode8.

And let's not forget The Blacklist. I checked out at: Season2, Episode14. I started Bates Motel when the new season started streaming on Netflix (I had already watched seasons 1-3) back in January. I checked out at: Season4, Episode1. I don't even remember when I started and stopped Once Upon A Time, but.... I checked out at: Season1, Episode18. And I've been watching and trying to get through Burn Notice (I LOVE Bruce Campbell) for the last two years and can't seem to make it no matter how hard I try. I checked out (for now) at: Season5, Episode8.

Then last night I decided I was going to start the show Rectify (and didn't even make it through the first episode). I checked out at: Season1, Episode1.

It hasn't been a total loss, I did binge watch Santa Clarita Diet back in February and again last week. Yes, I watched it twice and I have no regrets (and I'm super happy that it's been renewed for a second season). Shows I actually did get all the way through: Stranger Things, Sirens, The Ranch, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (WAY more than once), Fuller House, Baby Daddy.

After I gave up on Rectify (fairly quickly) I decided to try out Grace and Frankie. And while I've heard great things about it, I really only decided to start watching for one reason and that reason is.... Ethan Embry. Let's be honest, I was pretty in love with him back in the late 90s-early 00s and continued loving him (#SweetHomeAlabama), but didn't have access to watch him in most of his projects and then he took some time off. But now, he's back and I'm pretty happy about it.

There are currently three seasons streaming on Netflix and it's been renewed for a fourth season, so I'm hoping that it stays as hilarious to me as the first three episodes are. For now, it's cracking me up and I want to watch more. The best part so far?

Coyote: "Mallory, I'm sorry, I don't even remember what I did that night. I remember it involved the police and I was arrested and some bad things happened, but I don't remember what." Mallory: "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Coyote: "Yes, I was on a toxic combination of tequila, cocaine, and non-stick cooking spray." Mallory: "Fine, you ran your car over my mailbox, scared my kids, and stood in my front yard yelling- don't marry Mitch, Mal, it doesn't have to be me, just not him, at the top of your lungs and at that point he and I had already been married for SEVEN YEARS." Coyote: "Wow, that is bad."
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Friday, April 28, 2017

When you get a dose of epic failure for the day.

So, my aunt text me the other day and told me that she would be picking me up a bottle of my favorite wine the next day and would be sending it with my uncle/boss this morning.... she wanted to make sure that I was on the lookout for that delicious nectar of the gods wine.

Well, bright and early this morning I did indeed have said bottle of wine on my desk. Being the slightly less sarcastic/gloomy/cynical exciting person that I am on Friday mornings I text a picture of it to a friend of mine to let them know how excited I was.

And that's where my failure kicked in.


You see, I sent a message that said, "this was waiting on my desk when I got here this morning.... my boss knows how to start a Friday! Lol."

But auto-correct decided that the message I needed to send was, "this was waiting on my desk sexy when I got here this morning.... my boss knows how to start a Friday! Lol."

That's right, for some unknown reason my phone decided to change the word desk to sexy and I was very confused when I received a text message replying to mine that read, "on your sexy?" You know, because I didn't catch what my traitorous phone had done.... but my friend did.

And in case you're wondering, if you want to have a hilarious conversation that confuses multiple people, definitely let auto-correct take the reigns. And if you don't, well, auto-correct doesn't give a shit and is definitely plotting against you when you least expect it. You've been warned, but you've probably already felt its wrath (if you're like me, WAY more than once).
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Thursday, April 27, 2017

My brother is about to be a dad. (Part II).

Back in the beginning of March I wrote a post explaining the fact that my brother was about to be a dad. By extension that was going to make Momma and grandma.... and me an aunt.

HO. LY. SHIT.

And now here we are, almost two months later and there's been a baby hanging around on occasion. I'm not one of those people that could tell you how much he weighed when he was born (a little over nine pounds?.... maybe), or how long he was, or even any real detail like that. I know that I should be able to, but if I'm nothing else at all, at least I am inconsistent when it comes to obliviousness pertaining to a list of random shit.


It's weird to me how fast a baby's features change, but I guess that's just the name of the game when infants are involved. He's been chubby the whole time (cheek wise) and I have to say, I'm pretty much loving that, because chubby babies are just cuter than all the other babies (calm down, I'm not "baby body shaming" that's not even a thing!).

My brother is so damn proud he practically looks like a peacock strutting around. So does Momma now that I think about it.... when I was feeding him last night (half asleep) she informed me that I looked adorable holding a baby. I told her then she better take a picture, because she ain't getting any babies from me (insert LOL here). The first picture they even have of me holding him is from the same day that I had dental surgery and half of my face was paralyzed. And maybe one of us where we both passed out in the chair (again, right after my dental surgery and "drugged" up.... aka, feeling horrible. and because he's a baby and likes naps.).

And last night was the first night that he actually slept over at our house. While I would love to tell you that it went as smoothly as it could, that wouldn't be 100% accurate. Don't get me wrong, it went perfectly fine and nothing bad happened, but I was pretty much a nervous wreck and couldn't quit walking over to him while he was sleeping to make sure that he was ok. You wouldn't think it, but a baby can really make an already anxiety ridden person very on edge.

I was filled with questions like, "can he breathe?" "is his arm supposed to turn like that?" "did he just stick a piece of that sheet up his nose?" "what if I didn't burp him enough.... what happens then?!" "is he giving me side eye?" "can babies even give side eye?" And so on and so forth.

And while he slept through the majority of the night, he did get up a couple of times.... my brother said it was because he was hungry, I say it's because he wanted to see how fast I would jump up and panic. We'll agree to disagree on that one, but I swear he laughed at me every time I panicked. Every. Single. Time.

And I learned a valuable lesson.... I learned that even though it's not illegal to call a two month old baby an asshole, it's still really frowned upon. I couldn't help it, he was being SUCH as asshole! No worries though, I still love him and I don't mind having him around.... much. (I say "much" but I am kind of fond of the little gas ball I call a nephew.).

P.s. His name is Gabriel Alexander.... and I call him Gabby (much to my brother and his girlfriend's chagrin).

P.s.s. this has absolutely nothing to do with having a baby, but some asshole broke into ours and our neighbors garages last night.... just thought I'd put it out there. You know what I say about people?! Ugh. I say, ugh.
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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

2017 films. (Part I).

We're only four (almost five) months into 2017 and I have already watched a plethora of really good films. While I did a recap of my favorite films of 2016, I thought that I would make it a bit easier on myself (ha!) and try to recap as the year went on.... and on some more and a little bit more. Or, something like that.

And I know that no one really cares about my opinion concerning movies.... but then again, never once has someone not caring about my opinion ever stopped me from actually sharing it. Seriously, I can't think of one time. It's that whole word vomit thing.... I try to stop myself (kind of), but somehow it still comes out.

With all of that being said, I give you "The films of (my) 2017.... so far."


Side note: No worries, if I watch a couple more in April after this is published, I'll just tack it onto the next one.... because I do what I want. That, and there's really no telling if I'll watch anymore this month (I probably will).

January's films: Most Likely To Die, Independence Day: Resurgence, Mechanic: Resurrection, Don't Breathe, It Follows, The Magnificent Seven, Deepwater Horizon, This is the End.

My favorite: While I liked most of these movies, (I wasn't a huge fan of Mechanic: Resurrection), and it was a hard choice, I'm gonna have to go with The Magnificent Seven. I really did watch some great ones in January.... Deepwater Horizon was amazing, Independence Day: Resurgence while not as good as the original held it's own, Most Likely To Die was a campy B+ movie that was hilarious (thank you, Perez Hilton), Don't Breathe wasn't what I was expecting, but still good, It Follows creeped me the hell out and I can never watch it again (just like the movie- Contracted), and This is the End was hilarious. Least favorite of the month: Hands down, Mechanic: Resurrection.

January's re-watched from years gone by: The Hangover Trilogy, Rambo, the A-Team.

February's films: Tyler Perry's Boo! A Madea Halloween, Grease Live!, Jack Reacher: Never Go Back, Hacksaw Ridge.

My favorite: While I pretty much liked them all, my absolute favorite was Hacksaw Ridge. There is just something about that movie and Andrew Garfield's performance in it that left me affected and in awe for days.... weeks.... and even now. Tyler Perry's Boo! A Madea Halloween is officially my favorite Madea movie in existence- it cracked me up the whole way through, and Jack Reacher: Never Go Back let me continue to live out my eternal love for Tom Cruise (I can't wait to see his new movie- The Mummy- when it comes out). Least favorite of the month: Grease Live! It wasn't bad, but it wasn't the greatest, either.

February's re-watched from years gone by: Rolling Kansas, Ready to Rumble, Where the Heart Is, Black Dog.

March's films: Passengers.

My favorite: I don't really feel the need to tell you that my favorite movie of the month since there literally was only one new one.... but, if you're only going to watch one new movie a month, I would recommend one of them be Passengers. I don't know what people were so butt hurt about when the reviews came out, but I really liked it. Then again, Chris Pratt is my dude. #BrightAbbott4Ever Least favorite of the month: You don't have that problem if you only watch one and it's awesome.

March's re-watched from years gone by: Tenacious D: In the Pick of Destiny, Tremors.

April's films: Patriots Day, Beauty and the Beast (live action), Why Him?, Hatchet, Chernobyl Diaries, Split.

My favorite: While this was a hard choice, because so many of them from this month were great (remember, my opinion, people), I'm gonna have to go with Beauty and the Beast (live action). Why? Because it literally let me relive a piece of my childhood and it was amazing from beginning to end (read my initial excitement here). Patriots Day was amazing and heartbreaking, Why Him? was hilarious and every time I think that James Franco can't make a movie that I'll love more than the last, he proves me wrong, Hatchet was another one of those campy B+ movies that is hilarious to watch at two am when you're kind of drunk, and Chernobyl Diaries was a lot better than I expected (I really liked it and still want to go to the Ukraine). Least favorite of the month: Sadly, I'll have to go with Split on this one, even though I liked it. It wasn't what I thought it was going to be, but it was still good and a harsh look at the tragedy that there are people out there that suffer with things like DID.

April's re-watched from years gone by: Armageddon.

Documentaries watched: Matt Shepard Is a Friend of Mine, Oklahoma City. Tv Series I've given a go: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (I just keep watching this show over and over.... I love it!), Lethal Weapon (LOVE), The Walking Dead, Fuller House, Santa Clarita Diet, The Ranch, Young & Hungry, Breaking Bad, Drunk History, The Middle (#always), The Following. Stand-up watched: Gabriel Iglesias: I'm Sorry for What I Said When I Was Hungry, Kevin Hart: What Now? Tour.
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Friday, April 14, 2017

I was awake for over 50 hours.

While I would like to tell everyone that April has been a fabulous month (it has for the most part), and that everything has been 100% peachy keen since I last showed up around here, that would be just a bit of a fib.... fib, lie, whatever you want to call it. It's been pretty good, with one exception.... I had a toothache.

A TOOTHACHE THAT TRIED TO KILL ME.

I have two molars one the upper left hand side of my mouth that have been giving me trouble for about a year (it all started with a wisdom tooth and shit only went more awry from there). Yeah, I should've already had them dealt with, but for the most part once I took a few ibuprofen they didn't bother me again for weeks or even months. Plus, dentists are EXPENSIVE. And I am POOR AS SHIT.


However, this past week has left me with an entirely new love for dentist offices that understand your situation when someone calls and tells them that you have been in writhing pain for the last two days and may actually go jump in front of a bus if it doesn't stop.

Both of those teeth started screwing with me on Sunday afternoon (a little before Momma and I went and seen Beauty and the Beast.... more on that awesome movie here). I took some ibuprofen.... and it didn't work. So, I took some more ibuprofen.... that didn't work either. For the next two days I was in a searing amount of pain that only got increasing worse. I'm usually pretty decent when it comes to handling pain. I basically just want to be left alone until my body heals itself with the aid of whatever random med that I'm taking. This time, it didn't go down like that.

I kept getting chills on Monday and by the time I headed home from work I'm pretty sure that I had eaten a half bottle of ibuprofen and my jaw was throbbing so hard that it was actually jiggling my eyeball. I couldn't sleep that night (and hadn't slept the one before it either), and by four in the morning I had already text both of my bosses to let them know I wouldn't be in that day and that I was going to the dentist as soon as I could get in.

I got in at 9:00 that morning.... and didn't get to walk out until after noon. 

I had the two molars removed (they deserved to go, traitorous bastards), found out that I did in fact have a bit of infection in my jaw (hence the chills/fever), lost I swear half of the blood in my body, and get to take a full round of antibiotics and pain meds. Well, I won't take a full round of pain meds, I meant the full round of antibiotics.

Most people ask, "why would you just want your teeth pulled instead of fixed? it's a good tooth! what if you have to have dentures in the future?!" To that I say, it's NOT a good tooth if the only thing that it causes me is pain and agony.... get that little Benedict Arnold out of my head!! How dare they betray me like this!! I take great care of them and they still revolt against me.... now I know how Marie Antoinette felt (except she was maybe not very nice). If I have to have dentures someday, you know what? Who the f*ck cares?! If it means that I'm no longer in pain then sign me up yesterday. I am literally trained in everyday self/health care (being a CNA for years helps with that), I think I can handle some dentures.... I GOT THIS.

And while I would prefer not to have fake teeth, I'm also not above it. I've always taken really good care of my teeth, but no matter how many times a day I brush, floss, rinse, and no matter how many vitamins I take and calcium/potassium I eat/drink, my teeth are just super frail. I guess it happens, but that doesn't make it suck any less.

So, there you have it. I had to miss a day of work, be in the most pain ever for about three days (it hurt for longer than that, but the ridiculous amount of pain didn't develop until Sunday evening), play the game of "how long can you actually be awake before your body gives up?" game, spend three hours in a dentist office, have a panic/anxiety attack (when he numbed the inside of the very back tooth it actually cracked and he said I went into a little bit of "shock" from the pain.... it's not cool, I don't recommend it), and get to throw up consistently.

Why? Because antibiotics + pain meds + not being able to chew/eat (empty stomach) = nausea. Do you know how hard it is to throw up when you have two holes in your mouth and can't hardly open it? If not, just know, it's extremely difficult.... and gross.
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Sunday, April 9, 2017

Beauty and the Beast. (Momma and I went and seen it).

As an avid lover of Beauty and the Beast for as long as I can remember, I have to say, this movie did the original proud. I loved it!! In fact, even though I currently feel horrible and like I might kill over at any moment (#toothacheprobs), I still wanted to go and see this movie.

THAT'S HOW EXCITED I WAS.

And "Kid Katie" was very happy that "Adult Katie" made that decision.... because Beauty and the Beast is just something that I have loved for my entire life and get involved in anytime I get the chance. The animated version? Got it (originally on VHS and now on DVD). The play? Seen it. Live action movie? Go ahead and stick that one under my belt too.


And sure, in the animated version Belle was kind of whiny and may have had a slight case of Stockholm's Syndrome, but damn y'all, isn't it worth it to see that library and a dancing f*cking candelabra?! And if you think no, then I'm pretty sure that we can't be friends, because we can't possibly have anything in common and would probably hate each other.

This version made all of those little things that never made sense, but we just rolled with, make sense. Townsfolk forgetting there was royalty and a giant f*cking castle full of people hanging out a little ways away? Explains it. Why does everyone think Belle is so weird (it couldn't have just been that she could read!)? Got it. Why all of the servants got punished along with The Beast? It's in there.

And the musical numbers were incredible and the acting was superb and basically I just loved it (I was sad that the bird scene wasn't there, though). And when it comes out on DVD, I'm probably going to have to own it, because that's how great it was. I'd watch it repeatedly. And we (Momma and I) were both really excited to still get to share something like this all these years later.
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Friday, March 31, 2017

Our oven quit working like two weeks ago and we're getting a different one today, but I'm not going to talk about that at all.

Somebody sent me a text this morning that said "Happy Fri-Yay!" And now I'm pretty sure that we can't be friends anymore, because I seriously hate that. I don't know why, but I do. Also, a guy shared a post on Facebook this morning that said, "I may not be in Dallas, but I'm a Cowboys fan no matter where I am." I unfriended him immediately, because I don't have time for that kind of nonsense in my life.

Can you tell that I'm super irritated this morning? Not at anything in particular, but just in general. It's been raining for the last 15 hours or so, and while I usually don't mind, and even like it when it rains.... I was not geehawing with it on my way to work this morning.

Me + Rain + 6:00am darkness + not wanting to move this morning + not having enough caffeine and/or sugar = the Grumpy Cat version of Katie.

However, today is Friday (FriDAY NOT FriYAY), and I am leaving work at 2:00 this afternoon to run some errands and hide from the weekend and people early, so I am trying to perk up a bit and remember all of the things that aren't annoying me today.


So.... in the interest of living a completely honest life (ha!), I have decided to just go ahead and admit that I am a sarcastic asshole find my jokes way funnier than what they ever are. Seriously, I am one of "those" people that can't tell a joke or story to save their life, because they can't quit laughing in their own head (and out loud) long enough.

I don't know if my family and friends find this endearing and lovable about me.... or if they completely hate me for it, but either way, I'm old and set in my ways so they've managed to at the very least learn how to deal with it. (Side note: is twenty-seven really too young to be old and set in my ways? I think not.).

In fact, I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and somehow we managed to get on the subject of if I could pull off a beard or not. That's right.... a beard. And I'm pretty sure the whole thing got started, because he sent me a text to let me know that he met a guy at work that had a special comb/gel/balm/something for his beard and of course we were sarcastic about it, because he has had a full grown beard since we were like twelve or some shit like that.

And we weren't making fun of the guy or anything, but we did talk about the fact that there are plenty of trends these days that neither of us understand. I've always been a comfort over style type of gal (I prefer sweats, tees, and my boots above all else) and he's just a plain ole backwoods country boy.... needless to say, neither of us are exactly "trendy." And we're both (or at least, I am and I'm 98.6% sure he is) good with that.... so when someone throws a new "trend" at us, we're confused.

(Except I'm really loving the fact that "mom jeans" are making a comeback, because this gal right here- me- has a whole lot of booty to cover these days and "low rise" and "hip huggers" just ain't cutting it.... not that it ever really did).

Like, the fact that now men are growing beards (this isn't a new thing) and specifically decorating and/or using balm on them. Don't get me wrong, do what you want, but if you want me to explain why someone would want glitter in their beard and to hang ornaments from it, then I can't. As someone who participated in the god awful trend of "give me all the black eyeliner and glitter eye-shadow on the planet" in my teen years, I'm going to just put it out there.... we all regret it later.

Go figure, the one "trend" that I've ever participated in made me look like I should've been an extra on Showgirls circa 1995.
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