It's what happens when you give a thirty-five year old toddler a debit card.

You ever go to the grocery store with your husband and get super confused when the cashier assumes you have babies? No? 

Happened to me.

Sunday was a normal weekend day for us... tried to get a little extra sleep and then ran some errands. We move slow on Sundays... it's the only day we try to keep for just us. It usually works out... but not always. When it does though, we slow move and spend the day as little goblins doing whatever it is we want... as long as it's slow going.

Last week was crazy and literally the only thing I wanted was... shrimp. Like, could not think of anything else, was craving it, had to have it. The problem though? Every single time I eat seafood in the Midwest, I get food poisoning.

Every. Single. Time.

I honestly don't know if I have an allergy to seafood... if there's something wrong with Midwest seafood (being in a landlocked state doesn't feel water worthy?)... if I'm just dramatic and my body is like let's be a little extra and make you seem like an attention seeker... honestly, your guess is as good as mine at this point. 

The fact is though, it happens. Every time. 

Because of this turn of events (I swear, you vomit on a man on four separate occasions *eye roll*)... my husband has "put his foot down" and has forbidden me to eat seafood unless we're in a "water state."

So there we were... buying seafood in a state that isn't known for its water critters (clearly, that foot was dislodged... I love my hubby will protest but still cook for me so my little heart can have whatever it desires), but we have to go to the big grocery store because it has way fresher food options than... our regular... well... our bit of... sketch grocery store.

We get everything we need... get the things we don't need but got anyways... and off to checkout we go.

And while we were checking out, the cashier rang about five or six items through... stopped... looked me dead ass in the eye and asked, "Oh! Did you need baby formula?" The confusion must have showed on my face... but I went with a simple, "no, but thank you." 

She followed that up with... "Well, did you know we moved it? Are you sure you don't need any, they resupplied this morning and I can show you right where it is?"

Again, I answered, "no?" But, I had to frame it as a question because she seemed so confident I needed it that for a second I thought, shit, did I forget my baby formula? And then I was like, shit Katie... you don't have babies, quit buying unnecessary shit.

This went back and forth a few more times before I finally told her that we had babies at home, but they were the furry kind and not the human kind. SHE LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS CRAZY.

What was my husband doing the whole time? Fucking laughing... and probably thinking we needed to pick up Pepto for the shrimp escapade.

Once we walked out of the store... with me still being super confused... Dev finally asked if I knew why that woman had so many baby questions for me. I told him no but I thought it was super weird and random. 

He proceeded to chuckle and then informed me of some of our purchases that day... two kiddie plates (hey! I needed new dishes and these have edges for my snacks!)... a double pack of baby wipes (in all fairness, the pandemic broke me, dude!)... a jumbo box of fruit snacks (they're for everybody!)... and on the list went until I realized that yes, it did in fact look like the kids were at Nana's and we were making a family grocery run.

MY BAD. But like... those fruit snacks are SO good.