Decluttering our house has got to help declutter my mind... RIGHT?!!?!😬

You ever have one of those days where you're tired of looking at everything around you and you just KNOW it's time for you to change some shit? Happened to me... and Dev couldn't be happier with this little manic moment of mine.

I'm a hoarder. Like... not a I have thirteen flat cats and thirty-six dirty diapers hanging out in a drawer or box somewhere kind of hoarder... but I collect A BUNCH of shit. Clothes, figurines, knick-knacks, photos, dishes. You name it, I probably collect it in some form or another. And I don't set out to have these collections... nor do I only collect certain types of these things.

NO. I have just accumulated all this shit over the years and throughout my life... and from other peoples lives (I was raised on hand-me-downs and still love them to this day)... and I have a real problem letting go of shit once I have it.

What if I need it? What if it's important? What if it's sentimental? What if it belonged to someone I loved at some point? What if someone brings it up and needs it even though it's been hanging out in my shed for like thirty years? What. What. What. If. If. If.

UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH. 

Anybody who says you can't see the state of your mental health by that which is around you... is a f*cking psychopath.

We finally started cleaning out our sheds MONTHS ago but hit a lull because your girl be a real Debbie-Downer when I lose all motivation. Seriously, I always start off with good intentions but I end up stumbling over my own feet. Dev says I just have to do things in my own time... and lucky for me... he has no problem hanging out for however long it takes me to get to that point. Why just hanging out? Because I'll have a nervous breakdown if I just come home one day and everything is different. The man is a wizard at gauging my mental state.

Unfortunately, my husband has done all he can do by way of managing the clusterf*ck that has been created by yours truly, so some changes had to be made. Because you can only have so much shit before you have a breakdown... or at least... I'm going with that.

I've touched on the subject multiple times before... but when we lost Momma, we kind of just packed everything away because I couldn't fathom dealing with it. Over the years (mostly in the last year), we've gone through the shed but we never really went through the house and the shed and the garage and ALL of it. Moved things back and forth... debated and soul searched... but the majority remained as it was.

And honestly? I'm tired. I'm tired of having a bunch of shit that doesn't feel like ours. And it needs to be GONE. Like... buh-bye! 

So... we started decluttering. Like real deep down, soul searching, move shit out with a two-wheeler, throw away things that are there just to exist, no judgment if you want to get rid of it decluttering. And it felt GOOD.

The deep freezer that was way too big and broken? Dev beasted that bitch right out the door to our back alley and a scrapper hauled it off... along with that broken dryer on the back porch... and that old stove in the garage. All at once... years of chaos... hauled away. Made his day too. Two birds, one heavy ass debilitating stone.

Clothes that no longer fit my body or life... two Contractor bags later... POOF. Gone are the mornings of confusion and irritation trying to rifle through clothes and find something presentable to wear to work... and here are the mornings standing in irritation because no matter what I pick it'll fit but its still early as f*ck in the morning o'clock. And sure... now I need new pants in all areas... but I at least know the ones I have hanging out fit... ish.

And yeah... now we've hit a bit of a lull and our house is a bit chaotic... BUT it's our kind of chaotic and it's a process. As soon as a little of that oomph gets back in us... we'll do another room... and then another... until everything from top to bottom has been gone through and decluttered and deep cleaned. 

We're doing it all on our time... ok FINE my time... and I'm not letting any pressure or expectations get to me. Luckily, we both literally WANT to live in the house of our dreams... no matter how weird it may be... if we think of it and think it's cool... IT EXISTS. By the time we're done... we're only gonna have OUR stuff and a home that feels like just us. 

Because two people make a whole ass family... but we have furbabies... so we're a little more special.