Winter Storm 2026... what a way to send us the f*ck off, Indy.

Howdy! Welcome to the epicenter of Winter Storm 2026... Indy. Here I sit, pondering why I'm here. Not in existence... no... why am I specifically here in -20 degree temperatures when only Friday evening it was a solid 82 from where I sat?!!?!

Am I fucking insane? The answer to that question is both yes and no. 

The last two weeks were spent in Florida training in my new position. Needless to say, it's been an intense two weeks. It was supposed to be one... but one turned into two because the first was so jump on the train and ride this shit out.

It's completely different... and intense... and insane... and honestly? The first week I was legit thinking I was in over my head and MAYDAY!! No worries... I felt much better by week two and now I know it's just a matter of honing in and doing what I do. 

Which is adapting and winging that shit until I build a consistent routine. After that, it's just a matter of learning all the pieces and organizing them into what I need it to be to work for the rest of the team. Honestly, that first week had me way to sleep deprived, emotional, sober, and feral. After I got some sleep and substance in me, life was much better.

Now... we're back in Indy. Literally made it to the house within the hour of the snow starting and now we're officially snowed in. Walked to the corner store earlier today for pup food and immediately regretted life. Why? Because we purposefully didn't put food in our house before we went South (because... you know groceries be expensive and we didn't know how long we were gonna be gone) and we were too exhausted to go out once we made it yesterday.

We be hungry and thirsty (and dramatic... we have water, Spam, and beef jerky) and will be trying to figure out a solution to this debacle come tomorrow afternoon.

And I say afternoon because tomorrow is my first official day as a remote employee from 1,000 miles away. There's so much I want to say and catch up on but truthfully? Mama ain't got the time right now. I'm running on fumes and a bum tail bone. 

This storm though? Way to send us off this year, Indy. Well played. Well. Played.

The house is looking as crazy as the gremlin that lives inside it.

Y'all... the progress on this house though. It's insane. Most people know Dev and me have eclectic taste. The inside of our house reflects the inside of our minds... essentially if it brings us joy or we have a random thought... it happens.

And you can definitely tell it in our house. From the floors to the ceiling and EVERYTHING in between. You can also tell I've had more than one mental breakdown up in that bitch... but I digress. Because progress... and paint.

Lots and lots of paint. Also, every room in our house has a different texture for the ceiling... previous owners definitely went ham.

It's also an overwhelmingly amazing feeling to be through and done with all the boxes and totes and bags and random shit we've been carrying through the years. Mostly, me. It feels really good to know the only things we're taking with us South to restart our lives are things that we actually need or bring us joy. 

No more of having other peoples things and holding onto stuff that belonged to others... everything we have now is literally just ours and has been deemed to belong in our future. If not? It's out.

Pretty sure we've condensed our entire lives to a few pieces of furniture, about ten-twelve totes and a handful of bags. There could be less (because we pack things on occasion and then I decide it's too heavy so I throw more out)... but for now that's where we are. It makes me kind of sad to get rid of so much... but the immense feeling of relief outweighs any lingering sadness. Honestly, I think most of the "sad" is really just residual guilt from where I've held onto things for other people for various reasons over my life. So... there's that. And we're working on it.

We still have a shit ton more to do. There's painting to finish and yard work to be done... not to mention we actually have to haul off all this junk (Bonehead agreed to help me with that part)... more packing and arranging but it's progress. 

And with everything that's happening in our lives right now... we'll definitely take progress! Not to mention, this is a WHOLE NEW experience for Dev and me, and while it's overwhelming and can be frustrating at times... it's also been kind of amazing and incredible. 

I honestly can't describe the feeling of having a teammate that has your back one hundred percent of the time no matter what. I swear, made for each other, dude.

BOOM Bitch. But also, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!🎄🎄

Ok... this is... a lot. Like... A LOT. So... your girl did a thing... got a thing... something a thing. THE POINT IS our gameplan to move South might be getting a little bit more fast-tracked because your girl got herself a new job. I KNOW.

I never thought I would be here. I literally thought I would be at my current company until I either retired (ha! the dream that none of us ever get) or killed over or they fired me. Something... nothing like getting a whole different job. But now... here we are.

And it is A LOT for me to feel. Overwhelmed... grateful... about to blow the tippy top right off my head. AHHH!! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited, but I'm also extremely nervous and anxious. Nervous that I may be in over my head... anxious that I'm going to screw this up and ruin our lives... but extremely grateful for the opportunity and overwhelmed by the magnitude of which this changes our lives. 

Besides... we wanted a whole new life and nothing says whole new life more than changing absolutely everything about it. Aside from us and our pups, we want to change EVERYTHING else. So... we are. 

I am having so many feelings about everything and just trying to push through them all. They're so overwhelming that it'll be more of an on-the-go layout.

I got the confirmation for my new job on Tuesday and immediately let my boss know. Now... we got two weeks (not including the rest of this weird holiday week) to do what they want me to do and then I'm South bound for on-location training. After that I'll be working remote... until we move to Florida and then we'll (they'll) decide on my hybrid in office/remote roll. 

I didn't expect this to happen. It quite literally came out of nowhere... but who am I to kick a gift horse in the mouth when amazing opportunities fall from the sky?

I thought we had more time... after my job let me know that transitioning to a remote position wouldn't be feasible for me and they wanted me to start training another girl, Dev and I talked about moving up our timeline. Literally the only thing holding us in Indy was my job, so why wouldn't we after knowing it wasn't an option anymore? But... we still thought it would be somewhere between six-eight months. We definitely wanted to be out before next Winter set in... but then this happened and jumpstarted even more.

I will say though, ever since we just became firm in our decision to move back South, it feels like the universe has been pushing us in that direction expediently. Things are falling into place and while it's all still crazy, it very much feels like the right decision.

The progress we've made on our house is insane. We've been needing to go through and get rid of things FOREVER and there's no time like the present, right? And through it we have been. We decided to get rid of all the negativity and bullshit that we've been carrying around for other people all these years and literally start NEW when we restart. No more living a life based on the worry of other people's opinions. If it makes us happy, it's ours. If not? Bye bye. People, places, things. All of it.

Needless to say... we've thrown out A LOT of shit. I was a little sad to see some of it go... but only because I'm a hoarder and so much is changing so quickly that my anxiety is trying to keep up. After it's out of sight though? I'm loving it. The house is well underway to being painted (Eggshell-Gypsum for the clean finished looking win) and then there's just a few more things to do inside and we can switch to out. 

There's still so damn much to get accomplished. We need to talk to AM about selling our house probably this weekend (when it's ready) and get all this trash bullshit hauled off (no idea how we're going to achieve that) and finish painting and fix the fence and do some curb appeal.

Plus... I need to train a little for this new job (I was sent a link with some videos so hopefully that will give me a little insight) and buy some new clothes for it because your girl doesn't dress business... but I will be in this office with the bigwigs. I'll also need to take out my lip ring, hide my green hair, and cover these tattoos. You know... make me look boring instead of the exotic creature I am. All good though... it's all temporary to get where we need to be. 

There's so much to do and so little time to do it... but is that gonna stop us from having a nice dinner and watching Stranger Things on this here Christmas day/evening? Nope. We literally accomplished so much yesterday and earlier today that we're gonna break and eat and watch these little motherf*ckers in Hawkins.

What? We got SO much done in the last two days... time for Dev to take a little nap (before he gets up and makes me that delicious steak) and me to make some mashed taters... and for us to curl up with our babies and cuddle and just be together. 

Life is changing... fast. It's here and we're trying to keep up. At the end of the day, we're gonna be ok. But if y'all could keep some good vibes and put some good juju out there for us... we'd appreciate it. Thanks to all our family and friends that reached out this year for Christmas (even though the Glisson's were super lame this year and got absolutely nothing holly jolly accomplished... there's too much to do!). 

It's been so crazy the last couple of months... let's see where the next few take us. 

From our family to yours, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Decluttering our house has got to help declutter my mind... RIGHT?!!?!😬

You ever have one of those days where you're tired of looking at everything around you and you just KNOW it's time for you to change some shit? Happened to me... and Dev couldn't be happier with this little manic moment of mine.

I'm a hoarder. Like... not a I have thirteen flat cats and thirty-six dirty diapers hanging out in a drawer or box somewhere kind of hoarder... but I collect A BUNCH of shit. Clothes, figurines, knick-knacks, photos, dishes. You name it, I probably collect it in some form or another. And I don't set out to have these collections... nor do I only collect certain types of these things.

NO. I have just accumulated all this shit over the years and throughout my life... and from other peoples lives (I was raised on hand-me-downs and still love them to this day)... and I have a real problem letting go of shit once I have it.

What if I need it? What if it's important? What if it's sentimental? What if it belonged to someone I loved at some point? What if someone brings it up and needs it even though it's been hanging out in my shed for like thirty years? What. What. What. If. If. If.

UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH. 

Anybody who says you can't see the state of your mental health by that which is around you... is a f*cking psychopath.

We finally started cleaning out our sheds MONTHS ago but hit a lull because your girl be a real Debbie-Downer when I lose all motivation. Seriously, I always start off with good intentions but I end up stumbling over my own feet. Dev says I just have to do things in my own time... and lucky for me... he has no problem hanging out for however long it takes me to get to that point. Why just hanging out? Because I'll have a nervous breakdown if I just come home one day and everything is different. The man is a wizard at gauging my mental state.

Unfortunately, my husband has done all he can do by way of managing the clusterf*ck that has been created by yours truly, so some changes had to be made. Because you can only have so much shit before you have a breakdown... or at least... I'm going with that.

I've touched on the subject multiple times before... but when we lost Momma, we kind of just packed everything away because I couldn't fathom dealing with it. Over the years (mostly in the last year), we've gone through the shed but we never really went through the house and the shed and the garage and ALL of it. Moved things back and forth... debated and soul searched... but the majority remained as it was.

And honestly? I'm tired. I'm tired of having a bunch of shit that doesn't feel like ours. And it needs to be GONE. Like... buh-bye! 

So... we started decluttering. Like real deep down, soul searching, move shit out with a two-wheeler, throw away things that are there just to exist, no judgment if you want to get rid of it decluttering. And it felt GOOD.

The deep freezer that was way too big and broken? Dev beasted that bitch right out the door to our back alley and a scrapper hauled it off... along with that broken dryer on the back porch... and that old stove in the garage. All at once... years of chaos... hauled away. Made his day too. Two birds, one heavy ass debilitating stone.

Clothes that no longer fit my body or life... two Contractor bags later... POOF. Gone are the mornings of confusion and irritation trying to rifle through clothes and find something presentable to wear to work... and here are the mornings standing in irritation because no matter what I pick it'll fit but its still early as f*ck in the morning o'clock. And sure... now I need new pants in all areas... but I at least know the ones I have hanging out fit... ish.

And yeah... now we've hit a bit of a lull and our house is a bit chaotic... BUT it's our kind of chaotic and it's a process. As soon as a little of that oomph gets back in us... we'll do another room... and then another... until everything from top to bottom has been gone through and decluttered and deep cleaned. 

We're doing it all on our time... ok FINE my time... and I'm not letting any pressure or expectations get to me. Luckily, we both literally WANT to live in the house of our dreams... no matter how weird it may be... if we think of it and think it's cool... IT EXISTS. By the time we're done... we're only gonna have OUR stuff and a home that feels like just us. 

Because two people make a whole ass family... but we have furbabies... so we're a little more special.

We just said f*ck it and did what we wanted. *it feels so sexy*

So... remember the whole hoping to get another year or two out of Doug Judy before we traded in? Well... that wasn't in the cards. Mostly, because every time either of us hold cards someone walks by and sets the f*cking deck on fire.

I digress. We've been having issues with DJ for awhile now.

First the brakes (yes, I know everyone has to change their brakes but this was an exception as it wasn't time!)... next was the throttle body... then the transmission started it's shit. And that's not even counting all the tires we've had to replace this year (f*cking six!) and have fixed (too many to count). It was one thing after another and nickel/diming us to death.

It was stressful and draining and needed to be addressed. But like... alot has been going on recently! We lost our Xur-Xur and our water heater went out... again... and we had it fixed... again... and then it went out... again... so we had to have it replaced completely... AGAIN. This is the third water heater in seven years and to say we got every warranty you could think of this time around is NO joke.

Anyways... so Wednesday we were supposed to have a winter storm come through. It was supposed to hit late in the evening and be the first "real" winter weather we've dealt with this year. I was scared to take DJ out into the winter weather with it acting crazy, but what choice was there? None. 

Except... my hubby was having none of it and finally was like, we have to bite this bullet and get you a better car. We'd been looking for weeks and decided on a few different things, so he picked me up when I got off work and away to Ford we went!

Why Ford? Because Ford has Broncos. And right after we got engaged, Dev had asked me what my dream car was and I let him know in no uncertain terms that I had for my entire life wanted a Bronco. Don't know why, that's always just been it for me. He told me, "one day, baby!" because you know, expensive, and then I promptly forgot about the conversation because it was like five or six years ago and who remembers shit like that?

My husband does. So when the opportunity for a new car came our way... and we were kind of financially on board with it... he was like, perfect time, sweetheart!

We literally walked into Ford and I was like, "ok... this is what I have" *insert questionable credit debt, a small down payment, and negative equity from DJ here*... "this is what I want" *insert Bronco*... and "this is what I'm willing to concede on and what I'm not." And then we played Find A Car.

Hilariously enough, the first (and only) Bronco we looked at was the one we got. Mostly because when I drove I fell in love... but also because it was between two (same Bronco- different color) and mine already had the tow package installed.

I always said I couldn't justify an $800 car payment... then we absolutely had to have a new car because ours wasn't going to make us through the winter... I drove a Bronco... the finance lady slid the paper across her desk to me... I almost had a stroke when I seen the payments... contemplated jumping through the window so I could hightail it out of there... made eye contact with my husband... watched the defeat on his face because he just knew I wasn't about to have that... sat there for a second... and decided to pull a wild card. Because f*ck it.

And that's how I justified our not $800 but not too far from it car payment.

For the record, if you don't have to, I wouldn't recommend car purchase in your near future, because that shit is expensive. But this Bronco, though?

Yeah, I recommend that shit. Because it is INCREDIBLE. Dude, I'm so in love with this car. I've never been one of those people that was super into cars. Essentially, if it got me from point A to point B, I didn't give a shit about the rest. But this one? 

Oh, this one. Yeah... this bitch will make you fall in love. At least, it did us.

I've never had a brand new car before. I've always bought used and hoped for the best. Dev was so pumped that we got to buy my very first brand new car together. So, we're happy about it for multiple reasons. It's exciting. 

Y'all meet... TRUDY. Trudy Judy.

Because even though Doug couldn't stay, we still have mad love for him. Trudy just happens to be his buffed up sister. It's got essentially everything we wanted and the rest will be done over time. Because we plan on driving this motherf*cker until the wheels fall off! I tell you what, trading a FWD for a 4X4 in Indiana winter is where it's at. There ain't no going back! Not to mention, it's got the perfect setup for our babies and roadtripping.

And that's how we became a Bronco family. Because my husband is the best, our luck is the worst, and we just take the hits as they come and brace for impact... but like... at least we do it together!

Chaa... chaaa... chaaaannnggeeeeessss.

When Dev and me said we weren't fuckin having it in 2024... we weren't playing. The amount of changes and decisions that have been made to put our best foot forward into an amazing life together, just for us, is astronomical. 

Two steps forward and one step back is still a step forward.

I don't know what it is or what exactly happened but it was like one day I had this epiphany that I wanted to live a happy life full of laughter and spectacularness with Dev and I didn't give a shit what anyone had to say about it. I wanted to be so different than what I've ever had the opportunity in life to be.

And since that moment... whatever it was... Dev has been my never-ending support... both in emotion and spine. Yeah, 2024 is in fact the year I decided to reinforce my spine and start handling life the way it was coming at me and not the way I thought I had to.

It's been fucking spectacular.

I feel like my body and mindset will forever feel the need to jump into survival mode... fight or flight at this point is ingrained... but there's a peace to knowing somebody has my back in all things... hands down... no questions asked... just mine.

With all that said... changes. More changes in the list that is 2024.

We sold the Juke. And we sold the Juke for a number of reasons... my favorite one being that it allowed us to pay off that pesky credit card that happens to be the bane of my fucking existence. Selling it made our car insurance go down a bit. We also sold it because while Dev said it was in fact his dream car (he's had it for five years), it's also not super practical for a man that stands at 6'3. Look at us... being adults and shit.

While we were hopeful we had a year or two (maybe even three?) left in Judy... I think we're gonna have to bite the bullet and upgrade. It doesn't feel like it's been that long but I looked the other day and it's going on three years. Which isn't alot... but is considering we've got an extra almost 100,000 miles on that motherf*cker since it's been in the family. In our defense we didn't think we were gonna get a new car and then immediately have to make like a dozen trips to FL right after. It wouldn't be the worse to upgrade... we need more space for our pups... Judy worked great for two big pups and a small pup but three big ones is pushing it. Xur and Sparkles ain't getting younger and Steve ain't getting smaller. The only thing that makes me anxious is the payment. If we can stay around the same or not go up by much, I'm good. But, I just can't justify a $1,000/month car payment. Who the fuck can afford that? So... we'll see. It's definitely on the list. We are a traveling family.

Xur's hip is still hurt. We were honestly hoping it was just one of those injuries that needed time but it's not getting any better... so I think our boy may have to go to the vet. It's obviously not constantly in pain but it's immobile and super sensitive. I don't know what they'll do but the more Dev and me talk... the more I think he may have to go get a workup.

Our water heater went out. Again. And my front tire on Judy is going flat. Again. Both those things are on the list to fix in the next... oh I don't know... somewhere between the next two mental breakdowns.

I don't even want to get into the whole battery for the Juke/my brother story... another day perhaps. *cue eye roll*

Dev's client base is starting to pick up a bit more as time goes on. He's still doing the mobile thing but we've also set the house up where clients can come over and he can work from home too. Don't get me wrong... we don't want everybody in our house... but we also don't want him in everybody else's house... you know? We've talked about converting the garage/mancave shed into an "in home" tattoo studio situation and while the plans aren't set in stone, we've got some real good ideas.

So yeah... just a little catchup and some plans. 2024 has been hectic but we're all just trying our best. Dev and me are doing all we can to make ourselves and each other happy because we promised each other... if we got married we would be as happy as possible and live the exact life we wanted.

Lucky for us, we don't need much to make us happy. And honestly, that's my favorite part.

The happenings of the Glisson household.

How are we already six months into 2023? Things have been crazy and weird and lovely and insane.

We've been painting our house black and while we were on a role for awhile, it has essentially died off for a minute. Don't get me wrong, we still plan on completing it all, its just going to take longer than we originally anticipated. Then again, doesn't it always?

The pups are still spoiled rotten and as cute as they've ever been. Xur is still the protective middle child, Sparkles is forever playing the part of youngest child, and our little tiny Tayderbug is still the King of the Court with his oldest brother status. I love our babies and it would be a lie to say their presence didn't bring me extreme amounts of comfort.

Dev's been off work so far this year so we can get his health in check. Its almost like a snowball effect. It started with his heart and progressed to his teeth and now we're somewhere in between waiting to hear back from doctors and trying to pay medical bills as they come in. I just want him healthy and to feel good. The way I look at it, as long as we can get him happy, healthy and safe, we can catch up on the rest. That's what life's for... right? Right.

My poor husband. When we relax at night, we usually lay in the bed and watch tv, talk, or scroll on our phones. Sometimes a combo of all because we're multitaskers like that. However, I have this real bad habit of falling asleep while watching true crime documentaries and I think he may be scarred now. I mean, he's watching this crazy and then looking sideways at his wife passed out cold? Its funny to me, probably a little insane to him.

Travis and Macey (aka Mavis) are having a baby and we've been spending alot of time together. I would essentially say that those two are not only our family, but have also become our best friends (aside from one another of course). We cook together, laugh together, hang out and have a grand ole time. It's strange to have another couple that we can hang out with and either spend time all together as four or sectioned off. We've never had a "couple" friend like this and the fact that its family we love makes it all the much better.

Dev's got the yard looking incredible. It's been a long process, but everything is looking real good. And just in time for Summer? Whhhaaaaaa. We've decided that we want to have a bajillion plants (ok, I decided and my husband was 1000% on board). Seriously, I'm in this weird stage of life where plants are making me happy for some unknown and ridiculous reason and instead of fighting it, I have decided to embrace it fully. Along with Seth Green Bonsai, we've also started out propagating garlic and some other herb (I can't recall which it is because D started it, but its doing good!). Oh, and my mint is spreading and taking over EVERYWHERE. I love it. The irises and lilies look good this time around as well. I talked to my Aunt Mary and she let me know when we're ready for more plants to let her know and I could come out to her house and have a field day with her flowers/plants. I kind of want to go pick out a bunch of stuff in the next few weekends!

Along with that, I really want to delve into this plant thing and learn and grow (pun intended).

We've picked up a new recipe for chuck roast that is essentially our new go to favorite. We made it twice in one week just so we could have French-dip sandwiches. I'm pretty sure this roast would be delicious about fifteen thousand ways, but I had a new idea the other night for "Holler Pie" and D is so onboard. TBD on when that's happening (maybe when D has his teeth surgery and has to eat softer foods).

Oh, and D blew up our microwave. It's not really relevant but made me laugh the night it happened so I thought it was worth mentioning. Aunt Mary had given us some homemade zucchini bread and after eating a bit I wrapped it up and stuck it in the microwave. D didn't see it when we tried to heat up the au jus and well... the bread was in foil. Now our microwave only works in twenty second increments and then shuts off the power for that side of the kitchen. Looks like we're using all our other appliances for warm food for awhile.

So yeah, that's where this Glisson household is six months into this year. Trying and doing and laughing and crying and loving and living and essentially, trying to live an all around peaceful and comforting life together with our babies and each other.

There's a theme... and that theme is BLACK.

I mentioned that Dev and I were repainting our house and redecorating and such, but I don't know if I ever mentioned what we're doing. I'm not going to get too much into it, but I thought I would mention that we want everything black. ALL OF IT. 

Everything that can be painted black is being painted black (walls, furniture, etc.) and then we're adding random pops of color or weirdness as we go. I love our house. It's so weird and random.

Just like us.

So yeah, we have to finish painting the kitchen (and seriously, no one bothered to tell us how ugly our original backsplash was? creative and awesome sure... but ugly) and laundry room, touch up the hallway and bathroom, and start the back bedroom and our room. It's alot when you break it all down, but we're just taking our time and doing what we want when we want to. If we don't feel like painting? We don't. Instead, we'll do something else.

Because why not? All we have is time and each other. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Everything, everywhere, all at once. I can't stop rambling for nothing.

No, I haven't watched the movie... not because I'm against it, but because we haven't had the opportunity to check it out. We have however been watching a lot of random shit.

Like Knock at the Cabin. And Scream VI.

Before that, Avatar: The Way of Water. (Having just seen the first Avatar movie- for me- the night before).

I digress though, because this isn't all about movies. Even though it could be. No, this is just a little catch up on all the happenings as of late.

We've been painting around the house like crazy. The kitchen, laundry room, hallway... it's all different at this point. I both love it and want to get the rest of it painted but also have to kickstart myself every time to actually get the painting part done. Procrastination party of one? Right here.

On top of that we've basically been playing the waiting game trying to get D into the oral surgeon so we can get his dental problems handled (his appointment is on the 25th of this month). He'll feel so much better once it's all taken care of and I'll feel better knowing he's not in constant pain 25/8. Just one more step to get my love on the health and narrow.

We also came to the conclusion to maybe sell the Juke. It was Dev's idea/decision and we're seriously putting a lot of thought into it. Hopefully, if we do end up selling, it will be a painless process. *fingers crossed*

Hold onto your hats, because a couple of weeks ago we found out Travis and Macey are having a baby. That's right, another little Glissonbug is on the horizon and we're all so damn excited for them. She's been having a rough time with morning sickness and everything, so hopefully, it'll all ease up on her a bit soon. I don't know how shit like this works, but I hope she doesn't have to feel like shit the whole time.

Speaking of Trav and Mace, Dev and I took the Z up to their house on Saturday for a drive and a hangout. We had so much fun on the bike, but I can guarantee long trips are something we have to work up to, because their house is about 1.5 hours each way, and my whole body is feeling it. It was feeling it yesterday and it's definitely feeling it today. I am young no more. 

But, it was totally worth it.

And speaking of kids, Gabriel lost his two front teeth. He definitely resembles his hillbilly Aunt Katie a little more for awhile.

Work is work. Crazy and hectic and exhausting, but we're trekking forward and doing what we have to do to make sure shit gets done. Because at the end of the day, isn't that all we can really do?

My Tayderbug is an angel and demanded to go back to regular dog food. I swear, we make that little shit his own batch of fresh chicken every night and he just ain't having it. He wants regular ole pup food. Meanwhile, his brothers are drooling every which way trying to get a little piece of the actual chicken.

Dev has been feeling a bit better and doing so much around the house. I swear, I do dishes, but I don't do anything else really around the house. He basically has all the important stuff done by the time I get home and then our time together can either be spent relaxing or doing projects together. And I love both.

Just a side note, yesterday was the four year anniversary of Dev proposing to me and I was all heart-eyed once I realized it.

So yeah, a little catchup with shit I am most definitely forgetting, but here we are. Doing our best and making the most. And doing it all with a little hope, some happiness, and a fuckton of love.

So. Much. F*cking. Change. (And work). But, damn does it look good.

This past weekend, D and I decided to finally tackle our shed/garage/back bedroom. And oy vey, y'all. To say it was a task would be putting it mild as all holy hell. There was SO MUCH work that had to go into it. 

And I know, you're probably thinking "how bad could it possibly have been?" And the answer to that would be, BAD.

You see, three and a half years ago when Momma passed away, I proceeded to put everything into our shed that could be crammed in. Didn't matter what it was or the fact that it wasn't packed properly. I honestly just did not want to deal with it or the emotions that came along with it. 

In fact, that's kind of what happened to our entire house. We've made some changes throughout the years, but mainly it has always felt like it was Momma's house. Even though we lived there together, there were certain things that I refused to change or simply didn't have the strength to deal with. And unfortunately, you can tell that my emotions and depression got the best of me. Because it is was a disaster. 

D, bless him, has been a rock throughout this entire process. Don't get me wrong, he would've rearranged and cleaned and done any and all of it by himself, but it was something that we both knew I was going to want to do one day, we just had to wait for that day to come.

And come it did. (Hehe, that's what she said- yes, I'm twelve).

Our house finally feels like our house. There's not one room either of us can go in that doesn't immediately scream a mixture of us and the life we share together. 

I felt guilt, you know. These last three and a half years I thought somehow if I changed or got rid of something that I would somehow be kicking Momma's memory or something like that. I felt such immense guilt that it was debilitating and I felt as if someone was holding me under water. Eventually I realized that it wasn't right that I felt this way, but unfortunately with depression or anxiety, it is less about what you should feel and more about what you can't help but to feel.

But, here we are. We've tackled a giant portion of our house and the rest doesn't seem quite as daunting as the original prospect of it. With the main part done, we can go through boxes a little at a time. Condense and dispose of. You know, keep moving forward and such. There's still SO MUCH to do, but our house finally feels like our home and it's a very nice thing to come into at the end of the day. Our own place where we can raise our pups and live our lives.... together.

Sometimes you have to paint to your little hearts content.

D decided to start painting our bathroom as soon as he got off work yesterday. Needless to say, by the time I got home, there was literally one stripe on our bathroom wall and painting supplies everywhere else. So, what did I do? I took off my pants and got to work. Because frankly, who in the f*ck wants to wear pants? Not this gal over here.

We've been wanting to paint for a long time now, and we managed to get pretty far, but after the whole living room/kitchen situation, I definitely needed a break. Therefore, we took one and now here we are again. 

The plan wasn't necessarily to get the bath/hall done last night, but once we got started we just kept going until it was over with. Cut to 10:30 at night and my worn out ass dragging into the shower so that I can get clean and relax for a bit before I randomly passed out. I most definitely didn't want to get my ass out of bed at 5:30 this morning.

But, now it's done and I LOVE it. Especially the cabinets. They used to be this ugly brown/grey and wooden color with broken doors that hung by the hinges and were a mixture of nailed/screwed into the wall. D took all the doors off and I painted them inside and out and holy shit, they look SO much better.

I know there are many people that would hate our house or think it's weird, but we love and adore it and like I said, that's what matters to us. Our house is literally what we talked about having when we were teenagers.... you know, within a reasonable budget. Basically, it's just fun and comfortable and detailed to our specifications.

And honestly, I think that's what is the most important to me. Our house feels like our home. It's comfortable and lived in and when I'm there I'm surrounded by fun and love and truthfully, that's all I've ever wanted. 

Plus, can we all just admit that it looks like a crazy twist of mine and D's personalities? Clearly, we are very similar and different at the same time. That's probably why we get along so well. Now, I just need to find a giant picture to hang on the open bathroom wall and it should be all good.

I'm thinking either Charlie Day (which I really want!) or Ice Cube. I haven't decided yet, but all in good time (and fun!).

The inside of our house looks like Buddy the Elf had an orgasm in there.

Can y'all believe that it's already December? Like, whaaa?!! To say that the holidays have snuck up on me would be an understatement. Probably because I'm not a "holiday" type of person, BUT STILL. D is very much a holiday kind of person and was super excited and on edge to start decorating. Dude seriously couldn't wait. He's adorable.

We can't really decorate the outside of our house too much (lord knows there's a million thefts and shady tweakers that live in our neighborhood), so I told D that he was more than welcome to make it look like Christmas threw up in our house. 

I think he got the memo. And then he decided to also get that gold star for best decorating student.

We can't really have a humungous tree. I mean, we could, because lord knows we have in the past, but we have a bunch more stuff in our house than we used to, so having a giant tree would be terribly inconvenient. You know, more so than alot of other stuff. So, when AM gave us a little (three foot?) baby tree, I knew it was perfect.

And the lights? Don't even get me started on that. We have lights everywhere in our living room that leads into our hallway and I'm pretty sure that he's going to continue with the lights all throughout the kitchen/laundry room/bathroom. I don't know for sure, but knowing my husband, that's exactly what's about to happen.

Also, can we all just get it out there in the open right now and agree that these lights are probably just a permanent fixture of our house at this point? Let's be honest, they're up, we like them, so they're probably here to stay indefinitely.

Afterall, the rule of "decorating" our house is if it makes one of us happy, it comes in. Don't get me wrong, we're allowed to veto things we really hate. Like the time D tried to talk me into having adult size bunkbeds. Or, one of the many ridiculous things that I love that would make my husband want to jump off a bridge. Basically though, our house is insane and cluttered and messy, but we love it and it makes us happy. And honestly, that's all we really care about.

Merry Christmas (decorating!)!!

One year and all of the love and shenanigans that make our lives ours.

One year ago today, I married the love of my life, and it's been a hell of a ride ever since. 

D and I decided to take an extended weekend for our first anniversary. We never have gone on a honeymoon (Covid) and honestly, we just prefer to stay at our own house. So, we decided that we would take off Friday and Monday so that we could spend four whole days together.

Now, being locked in a house with someone (and I say it like that, because I literally lock the doors at our house constantly.... you would think I have people stalking me or something, but no, I'm just naturally paranoid 24/7) continuously might not sound like fun for some people, but I can assure you that it is.

Afterall, D is my best friend. 

Now, hear me out. I know a lot of people say their significant other is their best friend, because they love them SO much. However, this is not me being emotional or trying to get an aww. The truth is, I literally married my best friend. He's pretty much the only person I hang out with, talk to, do activities with, chill with.... and now that I'm saying it, it sounds like we're very codependent on one another.

Oh well, you live trying to be happy. I have absolutely no regrets with the fact that my husband is my bestie and lover all wrapped up into one pretty/6'3/ass like an apple package. And he's known me since we were fifteen, so he's literally seen me look my very best to absolute shit within two hours of each other. #Anxiety

So, what did we/are we doing for our big weekend? Well.... absolutely not shit. And that's kind of the point. We were responsible adults and did all of our running and errands on Friday so that we wouldn't have to go out after that. We've done a couple of house projects that we've been meaning to do, mostly just deep cleaning the bathroom, painting a little (more to come), hanging some curtains throughout the house, little things like that.

Other than that we've just hung out together, cuddled, played games, watched tv (he even binge-watched the entire third season of YOU with me), caught a buzz or two, cooked together, and basically have spent all the time with our pups and each other. We even made a fancy anniversary dinner together. And when I say fancy, I mean D grilled some filet mignon and I made red mashed taters. Ain't nobody got time, effort, energy, or cash to be going out to fancy places and shit when we can do our own thing at the house that is just as nice.... and I don't have to wear pants.

Since we've been off, D has consistently given me his undivided attention when he isn't asleep, and let's just say that I literally thrive off of it. I usually don't like having attention on me. I'm perfectly fine being off to the side and people leaving me alone. But with him? GIVE ME ALL THE ATTENTION.

Seriously though, I know I'm rambling, but I can't believe that we've actually been married for a whole year. It feels like it was two weeks ago and forty years all at the same time. I am so incredibly lucky to have had D come back into my life at the exact time I would need him the most and didn't even know it. He's my rock, my love, my true north. Literally, my world revolves around that man and our pups and I have no issue with that. In fact, I thrive on it.

So.... here's to us, baby. We're a year in and you haven't even attempted to smother me to death with a pillow yet. You deserve some recognition and love for that, because I am A BUNCH to deal with. You're amazing and kind and funny and smart and loveable and I am quite literally in awe of you. You're simply it, my love.

One year in.... here's to many more to come. I love you.

My sweetheart is building me that porch I’ve been wanting for 2+ years. 🏠

He started on Saturday and has been going strong ever since! It's looking pretty damn good, if I do say so myself.

We have to have our kitchen replumbed and I'm about to lose my shit.

Last Thursday night, I was finishing up supper dishes and the water wouldn't drain out of my sink. I thought it was odd, but know these things tend to happen, so I finished up and tried to use a plunger to get it handled. When the plunger didn't work, I decided that the next day I would pick up some Drano from the store and try again.

Two bottles of Drano and countless hours later, D arrived home from work on Friday to find that I had completely disassembled our sink and was on a rampage. Bless his heart, he tried to work on it with some tools, but a "snake" you get at the hardware store only goes so far. I decided to call a plumber and they came out yesterday.

The plumber worked on the lines for a few hours and then found the problem.... our pipes leading from the wall pipe and out are corroded and now, we have to have our kitchen repiped.

Shoot. Me. Now. A different plumber is coming out today to quote me on the repiping and in all honesty, it just doesn't sound cheap and I don't like it. But, I also need to have a fully functioning kitchen. Ugh.... being an adult is hard. Y'all, wish me luck.

I'm very confused and want to go back to my couch with my pups.

Today is the first day back to work in a "normal(ish)" setting. I've been coming into the office a couple days a week and then working from home all other days. This morning began the first full week back and to say I'm upset about having to wear adult pants would be an understatement.

I also find myself wanting to do all of the things that I should have been doing while my bitch ass was in quarantine. I want to declutter my house and clean everything by hand from top to bottom. I'm talking wiping down walls and getting into the corners of my floors. Pulling every piece of furniture and appliance out and really getting in there.

#ICleanedWithBleachBeforeItWasCool

My laundry is piled up and needs to be handled. My kitchen has glasses in the sink that need to be washed. The refrigerator needs to be cleaned out. The entire house needs to be decluttered and organized. Frankly, D wants to build a platform in the living room for the bed (yes, we have a bed in our living room and no I will not change it) and slide the couch under it and I'm about to let him so that I can have more room in the living room.

I want to do all of this and so far all I've accomplished was our bathroom and half of the back bedroom. Frankly, living with two boys and three pups makes keeping things clean a nightmare. Who knew they could all be so messy and very much on the train of "that's your problem!" My brother especially complains about the house and yard being messy and then does absolutely nothing to help clean or make life easier. Hooray, for entitled big brothers that leave f*cking toothpaste in the sink and try to make you feel bad 24/7!

Basically what I'm saying is, my house is always a disaster zone and while I'm sure it doesn't help my anxiety, I also don't have the will to do anything about it the majority of the time. I find myself always incredibly tired, but unable to sleep. I feel judgment even when it might not be there (even though it's definitely always there from my brother). And, my mind is always running about one hundred fifty miles per minute.

Side note: how lazy would it be for me to hire someone to do all of my yard work for me? Also, would I even care how lazy it was as long as it was all done and I wasn't the one that had to do it?

One of these days I will get everything accomplished that I want and need to, but I'm going to just have to do it on my own time and try my best to ignore all of the negativity and judgment. I used to be incredibly versed in tuning people out, and honestly, I think I'm going to have to just pick that habit back up. If for nothing else, my own peace of mind and sanity.

You know, before someone ends up becoming my costar on an episode of Snapped.

Other than that, things seem to be going ok. You know, other than the insomnia, anxiety, panic attacks, and impending nervous breakdown. My pups are forever my saving grace and D tends to be on my side and doesn't judge me for the days I can't seem to pull my chunky little ass off of the couch. Or at the very least, he doesn't voice or show his judgment.

I'm just trying to get back into the swing of things, coming out of a quarantined life (has time always moved this slow?), and babbling about any and everything that comes to my mind. Which to be honest, is a plethora of wtf?!

In other news, it's been raining for over 24 hours and I had to wade through water to get into my car this morning, because our road is completely flooded. And with all this rain, I would much rather be at home cleaning and curled up with my pups watching tv. Which is nothing new, considering that's what I always want to do. And I now refuse to feel bad for that.

We rearranged our living room and it somehow made my life easier?!

The other day we decided to rearrange our living room. A weird thing about me is.... our bed is in our living room. It's a whole thing with me not being able to sleep in the back bedroom and being used to sleeping on the couch. I'm not really going to get into it, and yes I know it's strange, but like I said, it's a whole thing.

Anyways, we put the big bed in the back bedroom (the bedroom that remains the bane of my existence and my forever spot that needs cleaned up and arranged) and brought our full size back out into the living room. We moved the couch and honestly, it opened up our living room so much. Now it's easier to clean and it just looks so much better.

I didn't think it would make that much of a difference, but it has. And with me still working from home (D went back into work this week), it's nice to be able to keep the house clean and get my work done without having so much stress. I even enjoy cooking dinner and not wanting to pull my hair out 24/7.

Although, that might also have something to do with the fact that I've been regularly taking my meds like I'm supposed to. Also, spending all this time with my pups is great. Either way, I'm going with it for however long it lasts this time around.

In case you’re wondering what thirty looks like, this is it. ❤️

Yesterday was my thirtieth birthday and while I miss my Momma terribly, I think she would be happy that it went so well. Like any normal adult, my birthday fell on a Thursday, so it included going to work all day and cleaning my house.... my everyday routine that I try to keep up with regardless of the day.

But, D certainly went all out and not only got me my gold rose as a present, but he also brought home a dozen red roses, a new electric toothbrush (something that I've wanted for awhile), my favorite drinks, and cooked me dinner at home. He was going to take me out, but he knows that I prefer to stay home and love his cooking.

The poor guy was grilling for me in 19° weather (with the insane amount of wind and snow that was falling) and if that's not love, I don't know what is. He wouldn't let me help cook any of it and insisted that since it was my birthday, I should just relax and let him do all the work.

We ate, laughed, watched Justified, drank a little bit too much, and had a good time. It was nice and I think I might have fallen in love with him just a little bit more for seeing how much he cared. He also let me know that since my birthday is the day before Valentine's Day, it makes his life easier, because it's easy to remember.

I also received cards and messages from family and friends and everybody went out of their way to be sweet to me. All in all, if this is what thirty looks like, I'll take it.

I'm trying to have houseplants (they're supposed to help) and I have four.

On my quest for being one of those people that actually has some houseplants, Aunt Susi was sweet enough to bring me a couple of baby spider plants to add to my little collection. ❤️🌿❤️🌿 

I officially have four plants to care for now (two from Aunt Susi + two from our Company Christmas Party a few weeks ago), and I'm trying like hell to keep them alive and well. 

The first two I got were the little trees that Dani had gotten for our Company Christmas Party this year and I ended up taking them home (we give out all decorations at the end of the party every year) and I switched them from the "holiday" pots that they came in to regular pots.

Speaking of Dani.... I guess technically I have five plants if you count the succulus that she had given me months ago (I believe it was around May?). Even though, I don't know what I have done to it and it is more like just a greenish stick at this point?

I'm not sure why I decided that I wanted to start having a couple of plants, because as most people know, I have a black thumb and hate doing yard work.... but, I decided that if they were something I cared for in the house, that I would be ok with it. 

I heard somewhere (or maybe I read it) that having houseplants can be therapeutic? And while I don't know if that's true or not, I figured it was worth a shot. Dogs + houseplants seems like something that would help with your depression and anxiety, right? Hell, maybe not. Maybe I'm just crazy and trying to grab onto anything I can to stay afloat, but it certainly can't make it any worse, so I'm going to give it a try.

I was not ready to come back to work after 5.5 days off.

Have you ever had a bunch of days off of work, but it also feels like you didn't get any rest and need more days off? That's where I'm at today. Not that I'm not glad to be back at work, but it just doesn't feel like I've been gone all that long.

I blame the fact that it's this time of year. It's the week between Christmas and New Years, so everything is off and honestly, I don't think anyone really knows what's happening or what day it is.

Like I said, Christmas was hard this year and I have certainly not been in the best spirits lately. I know I should be trying harder, but I'm trying as hard as what I can force myself to.... and basically that's enough to make me pull myself through the days. Luckily though, I can seem to make myself clean my house, shower regularly, and cook now, so at least that's something.

Also, Dani got these little trees for our Company Christmas Party this year and I ended up taking two of them home (we give out all decorations at the end of the party every year) and I've switched them from "holiday" pots that they came in to regular pots and I'm going to try and keep them alive as my new houseplants. I've heard that having houseplants can be therapeutic? And while I don't know if that's true or not, I figured it was worth a shot.

After we dropped D's dad off at the airport Saturday morning I actually had a fairly productive day. I couldn't get back to sleep once we got home (even though lord knows I tried like hell), so I called and cancelled our cable (something I've been trying to accomplish for a damn month.... they made it harder than it had to be) since we only need the internet (we do streaming with Hulu Live and Netflix), I ran a couple of errands (aka, picked up cleaning supplies), got rid of the Christmas tree/put stuff away, deep cleaned our house, and got caught up on laundry. It was a thoroughly exhausting day, but I felt much better once it was all done. I even cooked dinner that night!

Yesterday I cleaned up (I try to at least spot clean the house everyday) and spent the rest of the day drinking wine, making jerky, snuggling with my pups, making jerky, and watching Vikings.

I got D a meat slicer and dehydrator for Christmas and we decided that we would experiment with some different kinds. Between us and my brother I think we came up with somewhere around seven different flavors, and out of those seven, I only dislike three of them. The best kinds (in my opinion) are D's invention that we call Dale's Crushed Red Pepper and my invention that I have named Desperado (because it's a play on a carne asada/mexican jerky). They're just so damn good. We prepped some more last night for me to start when I get home from work today and I think my brother's might turn out to be delicious (it's a bbq). At some point, I'm also going to try and dehydrate some of my own fruit. We shall see how this goes.

So yeah, that's where I'm at this week. Basically, all over the place and confused, but just trying to pull through (and I'm off again on Wednesday, because New Years). Also, that show Vikings? Addicting.