I'll be thirty-five in a few days and I have to say... all that shit adults were talking when I was a kid makes alot more sense now.
Yes, when it rains it does in fact pour. My back hurts for no reason as well. And I too miss the grocery prices of my youth, because paying $102 for hamburger meat and a gallon of milk is ridiculous.
I have a bad hip now for no reason whatsoever... just woke up one morning and BOOM... bad hip. Did I sleep on it wrong? How fucking old do you have to be for that to happen? Did I sleepwalk a 5k? Also, if that happened... when did I get the willpower to actually complete a 5k? Did my pups get together and initiate me into Fight Club? Did I Soulja Boy too hard? Like, what happened?Eyesight? Failing. And failing hard too, not a little blur or anything. No, like full on can't see shit except when I see three of the same thing that isn't even there type level of failing. Driving to work at 6 in the morning with an astigmatism in both eyes ain't for the weak, dude.
Where did all the vitamins in my body go by the way? I've been Vitamin D/Iron deficient since my early twenties and guess what? That shit don't improve naturally with age. I take vitamins and eat proteins and drink milk... and nothing. My body takes a look at those nutrients and is like PASS. And what's the one thing your body needs to thrive? Vitamins. Ugh. (And yes, I know it takes more than that and water is important and blah blah, let me be dramatic).
I've actually thinned out with age... not that I'm complaining about that.
What I am complaining about though is the fact I spent the first thirty years of my life looking real Henry VIII and now I'm more on the Audrey Hepburn (in body type NOT glamour, beauty or talent) side of things and apparently there's health problems for both? Like... I was heavy and people were like CAREFUL because diabetes and heart disease but now I'm thin and people are like CAREFUL because osteoporosis and heart disease.
What. The. Fuck.
Apparently, all of us have weak ass hearts... looking real Grinch over here.
As a woman, they start telling you about all the things that will start going downhill faster than others: weight management, skin elasticity, wrinkles and fine lines, vitamin absorption, hair/skin/nail health depletes.
Like... it's not good enough I can barely walk and bare weight on my left side first thing in the morning but go ahead and make my hair fall out too? The fuck?
There's things you do to try and counteract some of this nonsense... I put vital proteins/collagen peptides in my coffee everyday. I started taking Mary Ruth's multivitamin yesterday. I use retinol and fancy lotion on my face and I moisturize with coconut oil like you wouldn't believe.
Honestly, I don't know if any of it helps or if my MIL just managed to placebo me into thinking the shit I put in my coffee was gonna make me look killer, but either way, I'm rolling with it.
Why? Because with age might come alot of bullshit (and I do mean A LOT), but not all of it is bad.
I've never been more comfortable with my body than I am right now. Yes, even though we tend to close it for maintenance, it's still the best it's ever been... for me. No, I don't look like I used to and we all know I'm not getting any younger... BUT... I'm comfy. And I'm comfy because I'm just me.
I wear what I want, eat what I want, spend money on what I want, live like I want... and I get to do it all with the other half of me. Because we all know Dev just keeps getting better and better with age.
My husband ages like whiskey and I age like fucking bread.
Seriously though, I would say the best thing about age is perspective. I know the things I've done and lived through... and I know there's still more to come. I've come to terms with not every single person liking me and I've realized that the only person my decisions should affect are me. If living my life to my happiest and most comfortable is affecting someone else that much in a negative way... they should probably get some help for that. Why? Because it's not my problem.
You know what is my problem though? This fucking hip. Kidding... mostly.
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