Today we got married and this is what I said.... aka, my wedding vows.

Devon….  I had a hard time writing my vows. Even though I love to read and write, I am terrible at expressing my emotions. You’ve known me long enough, and you know me well enough, to know, that I prefer to keep my feelings pushed deep down in the pit of my stomach, where I feel like they belong.

And while the majority of my personality is sarcastic comments and comebacks, I have always hated speaking in front of people. But, I was informed that today of all days is the one time that I can say anything I want, be emotional, and let it all out and nobody is allowed to bring it up or give me shit about it in the long run.

Knowing all of this didn’t help me to know where to start though. While thinking about it for the last eight months, I found my self with a million ideas in my head and absolutely zero on paper. Then one day I decided. I decided that in true “us” fashion, I would just start with our favorite show.

Bellamy and Clarke always tell each other that to get through with life, you must have the head and the heart. It’s imperative that these two work together and when one can’t survive on its own, the other steps in to steady it and keep it moving forward. That’s what you are to me and that’s what we are together.

I’m the head and you’re the heart.

You’re the heart, because I have never seen anyone love like you do. You are kind and caring and once you love someone, you love them with everything you have in you. While I worry, you calm me. When I breakdown, you hold me. When I stumble, there you are, standing by my side to ensure I don’t fall.

I’m the head, because while you throw your heart into everything and everyone around you, I stand to the side and overanalyze everything. No matter the situation, I’m constantly running through every scenario and working my way up to an anxiety attack.

And because of this, I really thought that when you proposed, that I would have more reservations than what I did. I expected that if the time ever came, I would stand there with a ridiculous look on my face, completely speechless, and just choke on air while I ran through every if, and, or but. However, I didn’t. As soon as you asked, I had absolutely zero reservations. I just immediately responded with a yes. I didn’t have doubts, or worry, and I didn’t feel the need to make a pro’s and con’s list. Just like your proposal, and our lives together, it was simple.

You’ve been there with me through all of the terrible parts of my life. First, when we were kids and then years later when I didn’t even know that the worst time of my life was about to come. You showed up like the guardian angel that you’ve always been, and when I couldn’t even find a way to carry myself through, you picked me up and kept going. You’ll never know how grateful I am to have you in my life and how much I truly love and adore you.

Momma told you right when you asked, I’ll definitely marry you and no one else. She also said that if you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If not, they never were. Well, we spent our time apart and somehow, we found our way back to one another. And now, you’re mine, as I’m yours. I finally get to be one of those cliché girls that are only in the books I read, that gets to live her life and marry her first love and highschool sweetheart.

I promise to always treat you as my best friend and equal. I will ask for help when I need it and offer help to you always. Let us be friends and lovers and grow old disgracefully together. I love you.