To my bestie, MOH, the B to my C.... my friend.

Happy Birthday, my bestest most lovable friend in the entire universe! You’ll always be the B to my C and the Clairee to my Ouiser! I love you to Pluto and back and surrounding ALL the stars!! You always know how to make me laugh, lord knows we've cried, and been through more than what a lot of friends have.

But, we came out on the other side, like we always do.... I think it's just in our nature. I never have to worry about you judging me and you know that I forever have your back. Afterall, there's not many people I would buy ten pregnancy tests for, because we are both equally freaked the f*ck out.

You've given me advice on when to move on, I've dragged your unconscious body through the dining room of a nursing home. Who knows how many mountain dews, pizzas, and star bursts have become our victims? From the long nights crushing it on Hall 6 to the day you stood by my side as I married the love of my life to right now.

I'm forever thankful for our friendship and for the person you are. I love and adore you, B. Happy Birthday.

I can't hardly grow flowers, but vegetables? I got this.

D and I decided that we would do a small garden this year. I have gardened my entire life and have always found peace in the activity. I don't like doing flowerbeds and find that to be tedious work. However, when it comes to a vegetable garden, I find it calming and I thoroughly enjoy it.

I think it has something to do with reaping the benefits of your hard work that I find so much more appealing about it. Sure, flowers are pretty, but with gardening I can actually feed people and that has always been a major sell for me. Ever since I was a child and we did it for actual survival.

I used to do a garden of some sort every year, but the last couple of years after Momma, I haven't really felt myself and haven't had the urge to do the things I used to always do. I don't know, my life has just felt different. I've felt different.

But, I wanted to get back to doing things that I've always found joy in. Hence, the garden. 

We decided to not do anything too big this year. I think D had reservations about my gardening skills, because as most people know, I can't keep houseplants alive to save my entire life. I have some good flowers in my flowerbeds, but I'm horrible at keeping them weeded and basically my Aunt Mary gave me the easiest and most low maintenance flowers that she had. Not to mention, D got me a very beautiful (and expensive) orchid and I kind of.... killed it. Like, forreal dead as hell not coming back killed it.

It wasn't my fault though, I swear. I mean, COME ON, orchids are one of the hardest flowers to keep alive in general. I had zero to no chance and an even smaller amount of faith in myself that I could do it. And let's just say, that he will not let me live that down to save my entire life. *insert exasperated sigh here*

But dude, did he get a shock when I planted our garden. We got five varieties of tomatoes, two yellow squash, two cucumbers, a mammoth jalapeño, a habanero, a red bell pepper, and an orange bell pepper. I kept telling him that I was way better at vegetables than I was flowers, but ever the doubter, he didn't believe a single word that I said and assumed that he would have to do all the maintaining. 

HA.....Ha.....ha.....HAHAHAHAHAHA.....HA.....HA.....Ha.....

Jokes on him, because my tomato plants have gone insane and are almost as tall as me now. And they are LOADED with the goods. Our pepper plants are taking longer to produce, and while I told D this was normal, he's been on a tirade, because the peppers are all him. While I enjoy eating peppers and spicy food, I do not like being in pain when I eat, so the habaneros especially are all him. 

I'm thinking we're going to have to extend our garden on the front side to have more room to grow out our squash and cucumbers. You know how vines are. And if you don't, get a cucumber plant and learn for yourself, because that shit is real. 

So, if y'all need me, I will be tending to my garden and showing my husband up with my mad gardening skills. Don't worry, he loves it and me and f*cking with each other is a kind of love language to us. Well, more me messing with him than the other way around, but still.

What else were we gonna do on a three-day weekend?

I'm aware that when it comes to three-day or holiday weekends, that many people make plans and do things in the presence of others. I'm aware of this and used to participate in it. Albeit, against my will, but nonetheless. 

Now, I'm married. And while my husband is a social butterfly, I am forever the little introvert that I've always been. I figure, I married my favorite person so why should I have to spend time with other people? Unhealthy? Yes. Am I going to change it? Nope. I mean, let's be real, I would rather stay in my bitch cave with my loves and all of my stuff.

Therefore, when I got off of work on Friday (at lunch, thank you, Dani!) I did what any normal introvert would do. I cleaned my house from tits to teeth, ran the majority of errands that involved other people and then settled in my house and waited for D to get home. In the process of all of this, I also started watching American Horror Story: Apocalypse. Because, why not?

With the exception of about 1.5 hours of Sunday when we ran a final errand, D and I stayed home all weekend and just hung out with each other, cooked, watched tv, and played with our pups. While most people think that we're weird or too anti-social, I say f*ck it, we do what we want. 

We even sat outside in our backyard for a long while on Sunday night to watch all of the fireworks and D grilled out, because while we're hermits, we're also Americans and the Fourth of July is like our crack rock. 

Or, something like that. 

The point is, it was an incredibly lowkey weekend, but it's not very often that D and I have the same days off, so we just enjoyed each other company and let it go from there. Well, I enjoyed his company, the jury is still out on if he enjoys my company or if he's plotting his alibi for our Dateline special. 

NOTE: I still can't believe that I convinced him to watch AHS: Apocalypse though. The man HATES all things horror and I LOVE all things horror, so it's a toss up on which one of us wins more often than not. 

Saturday morning I even got up and got dressed like we were doing something (not really, because we were just hanging around the house, but still) and D said: "are you wearing my boxers and shirt?" to which I replied: "bitch, we're married.... these are our clothes." Because you know, love and devotion.

All in all, I think this was a nice weekend and while we didn't do much, he's my very favorite person to do nothing and everything with, so I'm good with it. And hopefully he is too.... if not, well, there's always that Dateline special.