My life would be so much cooler and great if I had my own Samwise Gamgee! Instead I have a Cricket

{{Please forgive me for quoting Kristen Stewart. I don't like it, basically because I'm thoroughly convinced that she's the devil, at least his daughter, you know I'm #TeamRPatz, but when she's right- she's only right once. And that my friend would be right here. About me. Why am I talking like this? I'm not really sure at this point in time. Moving on.}}

I got to thinking about something last night while I was talking to Cricket, and by talking I mean that she wouldn't be quiet while I was trying to sleep, so I was forced to hear her tell me all about her language arts teacher, how dreamy he was, and how I needed to date him, because apparently I've let her watch one too many Nicholas Sparks movies, so now she is on a mission to find me "true love". Thanks, but no thanks. I'd rather pull my hair out and eat it for lunch. Who's idea was it to let her little emotional butt watch all this stuff anyways? Me? Oh...my bad. Wish I would've put a bit more thought into that one. Who am I kidding? I was real into Shane West, I should've seen this coming. No wonder I don't have any kids. Yeah, that's why. It has nothing to do with my commitment issues. Sorry, I'm rambling when I should be telling you the story.

She just wouldn't hush it up. The more I tossed and turned and insisted that she was crazy, the more she just kept going. Is it illegal to lock her in a closet while I'm trying to sleep? Not that I would, just curious. Never mind. She kept on and on and finally with the last little hope she had left why she had it to begin with I'll never know she said- but Katie, he loves Lord of the Rings. He even has some weird tree about it tattooed on his arm and everything! Apparently when she thinks Katie, she thinks- nerd alert, nerd alert. I can't say I blame her since my first reaction was to flip over, set up and be all- the White Tree of Gondor? An Ent? Which one? She responded- I don't know, probably the one that doesn't talk. You know I don't watch those kinds of movies. White Tree of Gondor it is then. She would watch them if she was smart. They're awesome. Honest. They are.

She was excited for a minute. She loves when my inner geek shows her glasses wearing, Harry Potter reading, Captain America watching head. She kept rambling on and on and I told her- that's great Shy, but since I don't know your teacher, your teacher doesn't know me, he has a girlfriend, and neither of us has any desire to date the other I'm afraid you're just going to have to get over this little plan of yours and move on. I'm not trying to be mean, but she's thinking way ahead of well, everything. I have got to quit hooking Netflix up for her. Too many options for an impressionable teenage girl. That's the last time that I let her watch Keith. She snuck that one in on me. Between that one, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, The Fosters, and The Spectacular Now- Oy vey!!

Yeah, she didn't take that one too well. She continued on her rant for another fifteen minutes at least and kept saying- but Katie, you nerds belong together. They're your people. You two will be sooo cute. His girlfriend is a minor detail. Come on, please hit on him. That's when I finally understood. I sat back up, looked over at her and we had this conversation- Me: Shy, what did you do? Her: Nothing. Me: Shy. Her: Nothing. Yet. Well... Me: Shy. Her: Fine, I kicked a boy the other day, because he was being real mean and he pushed me. Me: Let me guess, this teacher is the one picking out your punishment. Her: Yes. Me: So that's why you wanted me to date him? So I can deal with all this and your papaws won't find out? Her: Well, yeah, kind of...but I really do think that you two would like each other if you got to know each other. Me: (As I'm laying back down and snuggling into the covers) Oh, really. That's, because soon the time will come when hobbits shape the fortunes of all. Her: Huh? Yeah, he's a little older than you, hot, smart, funny and nerdy. Me: (Yawning and drifting) Sounds perfect. Did you know that the day may come when the courage of men fails, but it is not this day? Her: What? He is, you should come in and meet him. He's sooo cool. Me: (Almost asleep) I'm sure he's very cool, but I bet he's not Legolas stair-surfing while shooting Orcs cool... Her: Huh? Me: **I'm asleep**.... and might I add- I slept really good last night, I didn't want to get up this morning. I wanted to stay in bed.