I can't wait until I can go home with my hubbs and babies and black velvet.

I don't know what's going on with me today, but I woke up in the strangest mood. Ok... not the "strangest" mood... I actually just woke up feeling incredibly sad and off. I'm not sure why, this was a good weekend and yesterday was all kinds of downtime fun.

Dev thinks maybe I had nightmares that I don't remember but still feel now that I'm awake. He may be right and honestly, if it wasn't for him, I don't really know what I would do sometimes. I can be incredibly off and he's still by my side being my true North. That man of mine... he's something only dreams are made of.

Like all the other days I feel my feelings and don't know why, I'm just making it through the day and trying to think of anything that may pull me out of this funk. Sometimes are easier than others, but all we can do is put one foot in front of the other and remember all the amazing things we have in our lives... right?

Mental health is no f*cking joke.

Judy needed new brakes. I was driving home last Wednesday and honestly, it sounded like I was dragging a bicycle. Cue my panic and pullover and then having the hubbs confirm that yes, my brakes were in fact, GONE. I can't be too shit about it though, it's the first time we've replaced them since we've had it. I've personally never done a brake job on a car and Dev has only done a few, so we were a little lost on this. Luckily, my brother is a mechanic and was able to guide us through the process (and it only took all three of us beating that bitch of a caliper in to get it right). 

I called the Meineke because I was like, well, I know it will cost more than if we do it ourselves, but they're mechanics so I should let them do their job... and then dude told me "yeah darlin, stop on by and we'll get you right in... the minimum starts at $500." Now, I'm all for paying people for their services but F*CK YO COUCH THAT IS SO MUCH MONEY AND YOU ARE ROBBING PEOPLE BLIND! Shame on y'all.

Needless to say, it was a whole lot of fuck that and three hours later I have new back brakes.

Between my brakes needing changed and the flat tire I woke up to (and my "strange" mood), Dev has been driving me to and from work. And I have to say, having my hubbs wake up with me, be with me on the ride, and all that in between, a gal could get used to this spoiled little life. 

We took a WRTTMM on Saturday after the brake job and Dev and I have come to the conclusion with all the traveling we do (we live in deadass city so when we do go out... we drive far away) we should definitely pick up yoga. Because these asses be ouchy. I've been collecting info on it for a few weeks (we've had this talk a couple times) and I think we'd be a good fit for yoga/pilates/callanetics. I mostly just want the stretching and maybe to build a little muscle strength (your girl be fragile), and he wants it for stretching and mobility... neither of us needs or wants to lose weight so that's not a factor we have to worry about. Just some low impact stuff to maybe make us feel better.

Now all we have to do is actually find the will to follow through with it. Pheesh... good luck with that.

Aside from that, today is my MIL's 57th birthday and we'll be headed down that way again in a couple of weeks. We can't wait to see everybody again and get to spend some more time with them.

If anybody needs me the rest of the day, I'll be trying very hard to keep my shit together and divert this existential crisis, and waiting until I can curl up with the hubbs and our pups. Because that's my safe space and I feel like I need it real bad today.

Solar Eclipse 2024.

Well, folks... here we are again. Back with another eclipse that I was sure wasn't due for another 92 years. Remember back in 2017 when there was a solar eclipse and everybody made a big deal about it because there wasn't going to be another one for another 99 years? You remember that, right?

People made tshirts and hats and special eclipse boxes to look at it. People traveled and schools closed and traffic was a general nightmare. At the time, I was like thank everything I won't be around for the next one because this shit is exhausting. Well, guess what? F*cking seven years later and here we are again.

Don't get me wrong. I think this whole thing is pretty cool and special. You should definitely pay attention because it's not like it happens on the daily. So yeah, I get that it's cool. BUT... again with this f*cking traffic. 

Like the first time around, I was at work when it happened... but luckily, I was on the phone with Dev in the beginning (it was insane and eerie!) and I did get off in time to snag a pair of glasses for Dev and me (thanks, Dani!) and we got to enjoy the end of it together. 

We even took the pups outside after it was over with so they could see what the fuss was about. (Yes, I'm one of those weird people that doesn't want to chance their pups actually looking up at the eclipse so I kept them inside until it was done).

I will say that driving home from work was weird... it was eerily calm and like the world was on shutdown. Almost had a pandemic feel to it. Which is weird, considering there were SO many people here that drove in just to watch from our state (Indy had totality). Seriously, people traveled from everywhere... as far as from Mexico for a whopping three minutes worth of totality. The f*cking follow through, bro. Impressive.

So yeah, we made it through Solar Eclipse 2024 and lived to tell the tale. Now... back to our regularly scheduled programming... except there's another one happening this October and now I'm thinking they're not as rare as what I've been led to believe?

TBD. Honestly though... y'all will learn how roundabouts work before then... right? RIGHT?!

That was a weekend for the books... or something like that. 🎉 3/30. 🎉

We recently got to watch Dev's mom get married to her new honey and to say I'm excited to have another new FIL would be an understatement. Dev's family is so amazing and incredible that I say the more the merrier. They didn't have a long engagement. In fact, they got engaged in January and next thing we know we're getting a phone call from my MIL that went something along the lines of, "I won't be mad at you if you can't make it but I would really really rreeeaaalllllllllllly like y'all to be there with me."

Yeah, she wouldn't have been mad but we would've felt like a POS so... TO THE SOUTH!

We left out on Thursday evening after I got off work and made the fifteen hour trek to a Sandals Beach Resort their house. It's always a long drive but we're always so happy when we get there. We spent Friday preparing and setting up for a wedding and finished the rest on Saturday morning (because bitches apparently can't deliver tables and chairs on time... que eleven o'clock at night).

Once everything was set up, people started getting ready (I was minimal in a sundress, natural hair and scarce makeup) and next thing you know, the guests started piling in. Dev and his brother walked my MIL down the aisle and her daughter and sister were her bridesmaids. I had the very important job of music (by default and I was scared to screw it up) and the entire ceremony was awesome.

As soon as that was said and done, it was time to party. Dev and I don't usually drink anymore but made an exception with it being such a celebratory weekend (apparently, I can be a social drinker?). The food was delicious, the weather was perfect, and quite frankly it was just an all around good time.

My MIL couldn't have looked more beautiful and you can practically see the sunshine radiating from within her. My new FIL? Family already. He's hilarious and since I've been in the market for a new dad for years now, he fits the bill.

The entire day was amazing and honestly, Dev's grandpa's speech was worth the drive in and of itself.

The plan was to leave out on Sunday morning, but everyone decided Sunday was the day to get tattoos so we ended up staying late so Dev could work his magic. Many tattoos (including one of Guy's sisters very first tattoo ever!) later, it started winding down and we left out about 10:30 that night. We got home about 1:30 on Monday afternoon and spent the rest of the day getting resituated to being home before I had to be back at work on Tuesday.

I wish I could say we took it like a couple of champs but our bitch asses are sore and exhausted. Seriously, we look like a couple of old hoagies walking around our house this week. Even our poor pups are moping around and taking constant nappy naps. However, we'll have to get over it soon because we have big plans coming up. One more WRTTMM and then we have our actual vacation planned for the end of the month (4/29-5/3). You know what that means? It means we'll be making that long ass drive back down.... again.

But, it's all worth it and since we have big life plans in the works, I say we're going with it. Be as f*cking happy as we can all possibly be for however long we can, right?! RIGHT.

We're in the 100,000 mile club.

As of yesterday afternoon... Doug Judy officially has 100,000 miles. And I still love it as much as the day we brought him home... if not more. He's been good to me.

Hopefully, being the little champ he is, there's lots more trips and love to come!

That's some shit on the internet a kid says and no one believes it.

Every now and then one of the kids in our lives pops off with some shit that completely throws Dev and me. This time... it was our nephew, Gabriel. 

We see him the most out of all the kiddos (he stays at our house every other week or weekend) and watching him grow and be the age and size he is now... well, it's mind-blowing. Mostly, because I remember when he was a little tiny baby. I digress.

This past weekend, Dev and me were in our kitchen talking (this is where we spend the most time with or without company... like our congregation room and neither of us knows why), and Gabriel walked up on my left... probably in search of candies or treats. He must've noticed the tattoo on the top of my wrist (how it's taken this long I don't know but that's a seven year old attention span for you) that says "Tayder."

He looked a little confused and when I asked him what was wrong, he pointed at it and asked, "is that Spanish?" Dev told him, "no buddy, that's cursive" to which he replied...

"Where's that?"

I immediately walked into my brothers room and was like, "dude, do they not teach cursive to kids anymore?" and he informed me that no, they don't, because they consider it to be a "dead language." A dead language as in... like, Latin? Because they still teach some people that but cursive is off the table.

The f*ck?! WHAT?!

Sidebar: I don't really know if they still teach people Latin but I feel like I'm right on this (even though I have nothing to substantiate it).

I'm not saying you have to learn cursive to thrive or survive in life, but I do feel like you should make kiddos aware of what it at least is. I realize I'm thirty-four and the advances in technology are progressing so quickly that I can't keep up, but... I still use cursive on a daily. Even if it's only for my signature.

Wait... do you not have to sign your name in cursive for important documentation anymore? I have to look into that.

The point is, shit cracked me and Dev up. He made a joke about how they made his ass learn that shit growing up and how much he hated it (and basically all schooling in general). I made the joke that we're finally that age where we sound like our parents and grandparents.

"When I was growing up... back in my day... when we were kids... I don't understand this new age shit..." F*cking hilarious.

I know I talk about things that have nothing to do with my personal life.

Ok... back to The Program: Cons, Cults, and Kidnapping. 

Y'all... what in the actual f*ck?! Have you seen this? If not, go and watch it and come back. I'll wait... did you watch it? Good.

Dude... when I was growing up, we didn't have cable. Well, we sometimes had cable for spurts... but then it was cancelled and a whole thing so for the majority of the time, no cable. Because of that, my Momma had the classics on tv during the day. Aka... daytime talk shows. She didn't do "the soaps" but daytime talk shows? She loved them all... from Sally Jessy... to Maury... Ricki Lake... Jerry Springer... Rosie O'Donnell... with her absolute favorite being Montel Williams.

I used to watch all these shows with her and while they could be fun and crazy... other times, the hosts had guests with very serious topics. 

I remember when it started feeling like you couldn't turn on a talk show without a set of parents on there talking about how "they couldn't handle their kid" and they "needed someone to step in and handle it." For the life of me, I could never understand why all these people had kids and then decided they were "too much" or "didn't have the time" for them. 

Then... why did you even have kids? Seriously, if you didn't have the time... and you don't have the capabilities to handle it... and you don't want to put forth the effort even when it's hard or feels impossible... and you feel perfectly comfortable letting someone else step in and raise that child... why did you even bother? And don't give me the whole "we were at our wits end"... "we didn't know what to do"... yadda yadda. That's quite literally part of being a parent and if you didn't have the mindset to deal with that, perhaps you should have reevaluated your priorities and life before deciding to reproduce. You have that option available to you.

But, that's one cynic of a shit parent (only one... I was fortunate enough to have an amazing mother).

Moving on. The solution both the hosts and parents seemed to come to for dealing with these kids were either one of two things. Either, the kid was sent to boot camp/juvie to be "scared straight" or they were sent to what they termed a "behavior modification facility." Basically, these were places that were supposed to be like "strict educational facilities" that taught values and discipline to all who attended.

You like how there was never a third option that allowed the child to stay with their actual family though? Oh no... gotta ship those little shits off. Afterall, the parents had enough!

While everyone was made to believe these places were essentially just a more strict and "life skill developing" educational program (think boarding school), there was apparently a dark side that people either didn't know about or chose to ignore all together when they stumbled across that information.

I always thought it sounded like a shit idea. Again, you're just shipping your kids off to stay with all these... strangers? Sure it's supposed to be a "school" and you should be able to trust people in that position... but how much do you really know about these places you're sending these kids and how much do you really know about the people taking care of them? These places and programs just started popping up out of nowhere and no one had any f*cking questions? They were just like, oh solution! And that was that? The f*ck?

You don't have to have any skills or degrees... no training or even a little read through... you literally could have just rolled out of bed from a four day bender still twitching through the day... and you're just in charge of the wellbeing of ALL these kids? And you just keep them until you've deemed they're no longer harmful to society or they age out of the program? 

The Program talks about this system. It literally traces it back to it's origins... and I'm sure you'll be so shocked to find that it's origins are... well... CULT. 

This documentary is amazing. I can't even describe to you what it feels like to watch it but to say it definitely makes you feel those feelings would be an understatement. It takes you through the horrors that happened to these kids through their eyes... as adults looking back. 

The particular events they go over in this documentary were around 2004/2005... meaning all the survivors are around my age. And while every single one of those people are grown and amazing people... all I wanted to do was hug them. Because realistically, I watched a group of adults recount the trauma they've endured and the struggles they still have... and yet, all I saw staring at me and telling me a story were kids. Scared, lonely, abandoned, tortured kids.

It was devastating and heartbreaking. Watching the videos and hearing the stories and just knowing even a percentage of what was going on, I can't even imagine. I will never understand how someone just looks at a kid and abuses them simply because they can. In fact, I'll never be able to understand an abusers state of mind in general, because I'll never understand just because you can... why the f*ck would you?

The atrocities committed against these people were horrendous. Physical, mental, emotional, sexual. Any kind of abuse you could think of, it was there. You haven't heard of a few different ones? Yeah, well, they were probably there too. It literally started from the "program" sending people to KIDNAP your child and drag them to this facility. Upon arrival, they were locked inside (not allowed to step foot outside again without permission), stripped completely naked "for contraband searches" and then the bullshit continued to escalate. 

You can tell these people are haunted by their time at that place.

They go through it all. From the events leading up to them being taken until they were finally able to go home. The things they saw and felt, the things they still feel and have to live with. From being abused to being brainwashed to being made to feel they weren't supposed to acknowledge any of these things. Some rebelled (can I get a whoop-whoop for Q!) while others tried to work the program. The bottom line is... there was no escape. 

No making eye contact, no smiling, no looking out the windows, no forming any kind of bond.

"Palms up, palms down, palms together, palms apart."

The survivors talk about all these things and where they are now. Many have long-term issues with their mental health while others have been left with a broken family. And I have to say, I get why they want to forgive their parents... they didn't know! The program (and others like it) are literally designed to brainwash the parents too. But, that also means they are better people than me... because there is no way I could forgive that. Whether you knew or not, you are still the person who not just signed your kid up for this abuse, but actually had them taken away for it to be enforced. You quite literally paid someone thousands upon thousands of dollars to abuse your child because you didn't want to deal with them. 

You can say they were troubled or you didn't know what to do.

Spin it whichever way you like, but Imma call a spade a spade and say shame on all of you.

And HOW has there been no justice for these people? These kids? Sure, they're grown now but you took a piece of them they can never get back. Months or years of their lives... not to mention the struggles they still have because hello TRAUMA. And what... nothing? 

I love the director of this documentary. She's spiteful and frank and doesn't give a shit who she makes uncomfortable. She's snarky and sarcastic and honestly, I think it must just be something within us Katherine's. She makes me feel like all things are possible with enough resilience and perseverance. 

None of these people cared what happened to her and her friends, so why should she give a damn about their feelings? Their reputations? Their family lives? I'm not saying anyone should do anything rash or illegal (because absolutely not, we're better than these people!), but legal recourse FOR SURE PLEASE. 

It's no wonder the majority of people that had anything to do with that place didn't even want it brought back up to begin with. Mostly, because they're all complicit in child abuse but also because they're shit people who think they didn't do anything wrong. Oh, "I was only there doing my job." The f*ck you were. You knew all of that was going on and you not only didn't tell anyone... you contributed to it. 

The few former employees that did talk in the documentary? F*ck them too. They're no better than any of the other ones... just because they're willing to talk about it doesn't mean they didn't abuse those kids. Even the most open former employee straight up admits to hardcore strip-searching the girls... and looks way too creepily excited about the recollection. Another, says she wasn't required to have any training or background investigation. The survivors all not only had horror stories about her but she admits she was a straight up "bitch" and did terrible things to them. Even going so far as to say, "I would want to know this information about people if it involved my kids." F*cking audacity by the handfuls. You're perfectly comfortable abusing other people's kids so you go ahead and have a few of your own? Fffffuuuuuu........... not saying that's not your right as a person. But also, f*cking audacity.

And there's literally nothing any of them can do to refute it because they left ALL the evidence right there in plain sight. They cared so little about these kids... and thought so few people would believe them... they didn't even bother to try and cover it up. Because they didn't give a shit as long as there was change going into their pockets.

F*cking savages.

I read earlier today there was an investigation opened in NY over this. I don't know how far it will go or to what extent they can even get justice for these people, but I would truly hope there is some form of civil justice out there for them. For all of them... the ones who survived and the ones who lost the battle. 

Like dude said, the abuse of a child is the business of anyone who knows about it. There were truly too many people who knew and did nothing. Don't let history repeat itself. Find them justice, don't let the big dogs win, and do what's right.

Also, let the Katherine's of the world do our thing. One way... or another.

That stupid song will be stuck in my head for a week now.

Just to start off on a ramble... this weekend was super busy and fun. We got our pups new harnesses and Sparkles a new cone, so they are officially road trip ready!

Dev and I watched Barbie... we expected to think it was a little lame and for children... turns out it is super emotional and made us feel our feelings... seriously I had so many emotions and they just seemed to... I don't know... get it. 

I feel the need to tell everyone I learned something hilarious about Dev while watching Barbie. 

You know that Aqua song "Barbie Girl"? 

You know the one... "life in plastic, it's fantastic, you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere." 

Yeah, well, my amazing and hilarious husband has been singing the lyrics to this song as "my boobs are plastic, it's fantastic." 

Like, legit thought those were the lyrics. Considering the song came out in like 1997, it means he's been singing it like that for almost thirty years. I was cracking up... and quickly realized while it was hilarious, I don't think any of us really know the legit words. We've all been making shit up for years. I know I have.

Aside from that, here we are, trying our best and taking each day as it comes. Dev wants to move to FL, I'm always on edge and never know which way is up, and our pups are the little piece of sunshine that comes through all the clouds. All in all, weekends are where it's at.

Oh, and Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Call us DINK or call us selfish narcissists... but what you aren't going to call us... is to a f*cking parent-teacher conference.

Dev and I are what people consider "DINK." As in, "Double Income No Kids." Not only did I not know there was an acronym for it for the longest time... I didn't even know that many people were on the same wavelength as us.

Dev and I don't have kids. Nor are we planning on having kids. In fact, we actually have many reasons for not having kids that we call "The List." This list ranges from serious reasoning we discussed even before we got married to hilarious little bits we've run across with the parents and children in our lives. 

Your three year old decided to unpotty train herself and flush the family hamster down the commode? PUT IT ON THE LIST.

Everyone seems to have an opinion on this one. Why I have no idea... it's not like we judge people for having children. You want kids? Cool. That's legitimately my reaction when someone brings it up. However, when someone asks me when (NOT IF) I'm having kids and I say we're not... well then.

I understand that people have the expectation of me to reproduce. I get it. It's been drilled into my head since I swear the day they told my mother she was having a girl. You legit come out of the womb expected to someday push another human out of the womb you just brought out. Like damn, a girl needs a minute. So yeah, I understand it's there.

What I don't understand, however, is why it's there. Why? WHY?! Why is it so f*cking important to you that a human come out of my vagina? Why is my vagina that f*cking important to you in general? I'll never understand why anyone cares what another person is or is not doing to and with their own body.

I've talked about this before. In fact, I've rambled on and on about it over the course of my time on this planet and at this point the argument is moot. There should literally not have to be any other reason other than BECAUSE I SAID NO.

Why? Because NO IS A FULL SENTENCE. NO. See? Full sentence. 

People shouldn't expect others to explain how they feel or what they want to do with their own bodies. BRO, it's their body. I don't tell you what to do with yours, don't tell me what to do with mine. At what point during the human condition did it become acceptable to have an opinion on someone else's body? Don't comment on their weight, don't comment on their dress, don't comment on their reproductive system. Just f*cking don't, you entitled piece of shit. Just because it worked for your body and your God believes that's the way it should be does not give you the validation to condemn other people.

My God and your God? Not the same dude. Because I absolutely refuse to believe that whatever is out there in the universe has nothing better to do than to worry about whether or not I'm having children or wearing pants or eating gluten... whatever crazy it is you think is happening. Does your guy literally have nothing better to do than watch your every move to decide if you'll be condemned to an eternity of hell and servitude if you so much as have the nerve to consider not reproducing? Sounds a little Santa Clausy meets the bitterest part of Revelations to me, homie. You that scared of the afterlife you have to shame and indignify your way through the current one?

People are super mad at Seth Rogen and his wife right now, because they too have made the decision to not have children and he's perfectly comfortable listing the reasons why they made that decision. (They have a "put it on the list" too!) 

And all I have to say is... Seth and Lauren (Miller) Rogen are my f*cking heroes. 

Like Dev and me, their list consists of legitimate and serious reasoning... and hilarious tidbits that I feel you only really understand if you have no desire for children. He makes the crack that, "we like to lay in bed on Saturday mornings and smoke weed and watch movies and we couldn't do that if we had kids" and people are super f*cking butt hurt over it.

People legit COULD NOT WAIT to rip into this man's soul because he had the nerve to have a different opinion than them. My favorites are shit like, "imagine bragging about being a loser" and "sad, they will wake up at fifty and realize life has no meaning."

Seriously, y'all? Your life had absolutely NO meaning for you whatsoever before you had children? You didn't have families or jobs or friends or pets or homes or dreams or goals... none of that? You have literally just been sitting on the sidelines of your entire life waiting for the day you could squirt a little human out of your ballsack or vagina so you could have some meaning? Absolutely nothing before or after that? Right?

How incredibly f*cking sad for you. And I mean that in all seriousness. You say you feel bad for those of us without children, but I feel incredibly sad for you that there is nothing in your life other than one thing that gives you any meaning whatsoever. I'm not saying you feeling like your kids give you meaning or you always wanting to have children is wrong. It's not. It's valid and if you want to be a parent, then by all means, do it. But... nothing else out there in the universe, huh? You only exist to make the next person exist and you don't get to feel fulfilled without it? F*cking sad.

Also, not that it really matters but... y'all know they're like 40+ years old, right? They know whether or not their lives are working out and they're happy or not.

Another woman was all, "a simple we're selfish narcissists would've sufficed." Lady, get off your f*cking high horse. I'm unsure of how two people making a decision in their lives that effects literally no one other than the two making the decision is selfish, but ok then. It's selfish to not have kids... because? 

Because you said so? Because that's what everyone has done before you? Because your life has no meaning whatsoever without your children? 

I think you should read that again. YOUR LIFE has NO MEANING without YOUR CHILDREN.

People get to decide what gives them meaning and makes them feel fulfilled. Just because your children make you feel fulfilled doesn't mean the person standing right next to you feels that way. 

Also, it sounds like alot of people's "valid reasoning" for having children ties into them aging themselves. "What are you going to do when you're old and there's no one to take care of you?" "What's gonna happen when you get up there in age and you don't have kids around... to take care of you?" "I could never imagine not having my children."

I don't want you to imagine not having your children. I want you to be happy and safe and I want your life to be full of wonder and amazement and happiness. But also...

Whose to say the family I've built over my lifetime won't make sure I have the absolute best care I could ever have should the situation arise... whose to say I won't take care of myself all throughout my life perfectly happy and healthy until I just fall asleep one day and don't wake up...

And whose to say your children are going to grow up to be good people that care what happens to you? 

Oohhh... you don't like that one, do you? Hear me out though. You're perfectly comfortable thrusting your opinions into a complete strangers face... telling them they're ignorant and shameful for making a decision to NOT do something with their own bodies... I can't imagine you'll be too uncomfortable shoving your opinions and bullshit down your children's throats as well. And whose to say that child won't grow up to resent the f*ck out of you and stick your hateful ass in a nursing home and never set eyes upon you again until the day you die and you'll just be alone and sad? 

I'm not saying it will happen. I'm just saying, I've seen it happen. And people are so sure it will NEVER happen to them because they're so amazing and raising such extraordinary people... never once considering that maybe that child doesn't feel the same sense of obligation to you that you try to guilt them into. You think Charles Manson's mama knew what the f*ck he was gonna get into as an adult? I don't know for sure, but I'd feel safe taking the bet of no. Was he there to take care of her later in life when she got old? No. Why?

Because even though she did what the entire universe said she should (reproduce) and she did what she was supposed to do (raise said child), at the end of the day, her son was his own person (and a complete piece of shit) who didn't care about anyone other than himself. 

You think her life had absolutely no meaning other than her children? Shame on you for condemning that woman to such a horrid fate. You f*cking savages.

Furthermore, they're losers because they what? Like to smoke weed and watch movies and hang out with each other? I don't know why that sounds sad to you but that sounds like a f*cking treat to me. And I think most would agree. Maybe not with those particulars, but you've never just had a peaceful morning with your spouse and hung out and just I don't know... been present? They enjoy spending quality time together and don't feel like they need anyone other than each other to be fulfilled and that's somehow... sad? 

F*ck on somewhere with that nonsense.

You're calling them losers for not having children and smoking weed because they can't possibly be fulfilled... and all that good they're putting in the world is for nothing, right? Doesn't matter that they've raised more money and awareness for Alzheimer's than any other celebrities out there. Doesn't matter that they campaign for equal rights and donate their time to help others. Doesn't matter that they're descended from some of the most persecuted people in history. Doesn't matter that they're both creative and make films that bring joy to people. Doesn't matter that they travel the globe trying to share their legacy with the world through hope and opportunity.

They're losers because they made the decision to not have children. 

Yeah, they're clearly the ones with the issues. I hope y'all are wearing helmets because it's gonna f*cking hurt when you fall off that high horse of yours.

The whole thing is, there were people (like me) that defended the two and I'm pretty sure we mostly agree with each other. There are people with kids that understand that some people want them while it's not for everyone. Just because they wanted kids, they don't feel the need to judge others that don't.  People who don't have kids don't care if you do. We're happy for you and are thrilled that you feel fulfilled in your lives. We want your kids happy and healthy and chances are, we love SO many of them. Seriously, I love all of our nieces and nephews and cousins and friends children more than I can explain. BUT I still don't want my own. I have absolutely no desire to be a mother and whether you refuse to accept it or not, my husband and I are incredibly happy together, sans those young 'ens.

I want you to do what works for your life and I'm gonna do what works for my life and maybe we could meet somewhere in the middle and not f*cking argue about it. It's clear that you're not going to change your opinion (because history has shown that progress is unnecessary... right?) and I'm certainly not going to change mine, because again, MY F*CKING BODY. So maybe we should find a happy medium and you just keep your opinions to yourselves and live your life how you think and I'll do the same for mine.

Yes, I'm aware that we're only thirty-four years old. Yes, I'm aware we have much more life to live and (hopefully) many years to come. 

But no, I do not regret making the conscious decision to not have children. Having a child you have no desire for, or are unsure if you want to have in the first place, is f*cking selfish. Putting your insecurities and failed dreams and aspirations on that child is f*cking selfish. Having a child for validation from the people around you is f*cking selfish. Not being able to provide for your child because you put them in said situation even though you knew the outcome would be hard and impossible just because you wanted one is f*cking selfish. Having a child just so you can call yourself a parent and then still making all the decisions for yourself because "they're a kid and I'm the parent" is f*cking selfish.

Maybe the people that choose not to reproduce aren't the selfish ones. Perhaps, maybe we're all a little selfish. I'm selfish for only wanting to be responsible for my husband and myself and our lives with our pups and you're selfish for wanting to have children just so you can call yourself a parent and get that validation from society. Maybe we're both selfish or maybe neither of us are selfish. Maybe we're just trying to live our lives and opinionated people riding in on their steeds of superiority need to take a f*cking seat and let us go on about our business.

Also, Seth Rogen is a national f*cking treasure and coming for him is fighting words, f*cker.

I don't have the time nor the patience for that.

I've been trying out a few new things and some random stuff has happened lately and I find myself at the point of just being very "nah" about it. You know like... nah... I'm good?! That's me these days.

Napping has become a favorite of mine, social activities are a chore, and beauty trends have a way of becoming disastrous. I feel like I'm on a merry-go-round of exhaustion and honestly, Tiktok has me thinking the vanlife can't really be all that bad.

I can't be the only person feeling like this. I read an article yesterday talking about the things and ways people have changed since the pandemic and I have to agree. I don't think anyone's really recovered from it and we're all still all over the place. Time means nothing, money is fleeting, and we're all really just trying our f*cking best.

Things I have tried and found I do not have patience for to save my entire life: 

Applying and dealing with false eyelashes. Turns out, I don't give that much of a shit about my eyelashes and I feel they're more trouble than they're worth. Bought a pack, tried to figure it out on three separate occasions, failed miserably on all three said occasions, and threw the rest of the box away because I'm done trying that now.

Audacity of the people around me. We recently had to let a dude go at work and I think we can all agree that shit sucks but its also part of being an adult and we have to move forward with our lives. The news was given, he packed up and that was that... until the next day he came in to return some "things he had taken by mistake" and proceeded to slow-motion remove the pair of gloves he was wearing and lay down said gloves, an ink pen, and a tape measure. Like, slow-motion I thought he was about to challenge me to a duel at sunset type situation. And the only thing I could think through his arrogant condescension was... CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, I'm about to f*ck you up. Because honestly, how often are we getting challenged to a good ole fashioned duel these days? 

Dyeing/bleaching/basically anything besides brushing my hair. I go back and forth alot on what I want to do to my hair. It's the longest it's ever been and the most natural it's been since I was probably twelve or thirteen years old. I keep saying I want to bleach it and put in a crazy color (purple, blue, green) but honestly, I just don't have the follow through for it. While I think it would be a cool look, I don't actually want to sit there and try to do some shit myself. I also don't want to have someone else touching me. The same could be said about styling it. I like curling it but don't want to burn my hair off and all the "heatless" methods I've used have been a catastrophe. It looks like it's just gonna be me, my silver tweaked hair, and straightener for the next decade or so.

Things I apparently do still have all the patience for:

My husband. Our pups. Our lives together. Body oils instead of lotions. Tattoos as far as the eye can see. Eyebrow mascara and tinted serums. Old vinyl records. Roadtrips with my love. Snuggles with my babies. Resident Alien. La Brea. Banana bread. Dev's OCD and rearranging bug. Warm pajamas. Lazy weekends. Pizza and boiled peanuts.

Sometimes it's the little things in your everyday life.

Dev and I had a fairly busy weekend. We usually do, as there are few times we just get to hang out and do absolutely nothing (ie: what I want most of the time). We had a WRTTMM to handle, grocery trips to make, and another trip to see Mavis before they head out to FL this week.

I mostly just wanted to stay in bed and not move because my body is so damn sore. Apparently, thirty-four year old Katie doesn't travel as well as she used to and my left hip is going to be my demise. However, we pushed through (I make it sound far more dramatic than it really was... probably) and finished out our weekend with some snuggles and season two of La Brea. 

And now we get to start the week with no errands to run and all the love to come. Perhaps I'll have Dev give me a couple more tattoos and we'll finish out our show... all while banana bread is in the air.

Until then, I'll be enjoying long drives and beautiful skies with the love of my life and our furbabies.

It's just one of those days when you don't wanna wake up.

Everything is fucked, everybody sucks. You don't really know why, but you wanna justify rippin' someone's head off. No human contact, and if you interact your life is on contract. Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker! It's just one of those days.

Sorry, I've managed to have Limp Bizkit stuck in my head all morning. Like, on loop. Say what you will, but I'm a 90s baby and that demands I have a piece of my mind reserved for Fred Durst lyrics. It's an unwritten rule that I have no control over.

I don't have much to contribute to the world today... but still wanted to ramble about the catastrophe that was my morning. Ok, well... that's a little bit dramatic. It hasn't been a catastrophe but have you ever had one of those mornings where everything is just slightly off... but you also don't really care enough to stress about it and decided to go with the flow?

Happened to me.

We rearranged our room and the setup right now has to be my favorite out of all the changes we've made over the years. I even have half of the table Dev built for my "beauty" section. Ie: I have a mirror that lights up and all my lotions and potions and creams and such are right there for my convenience. I still have some arranging to do to get it set up the way I want but so far it's awesome.

With that being said, I feel like I should also mention I got some new "beauty" stuff to play with. What can I say? I like to play dress up and the little girl inside of me refuses to be put down. Dev and I decided to invest a little moolah (very little because broke bitches) into our hobbies... he chose his tattooing (and is damn good at it with me reaping all the benefits) and I decided dress up! Because he's an enabler and indulges in my whimsy.

I haven't bought makeup in so long though, I learned that it's all quite a bit different than it used to be. Even in the last six to eight years (which is about how long it's been since I actually invested in anything new), it's all so different. I tried to start with Tiktok to learn how to use some of these new products (yes I use Tiktok for everything... including as my therapist and primary doctor but not the point!) and quickly learned that those bitches know what they're doing far better than I do.

At this point, I'm starting to believe that whole "can't teach an old dog new tricks" thing. Momma was fantastic at this kind of thing (she was also a cosmetologist/beautician/hairstylist... I don't know if there's a word that encompasses all that... actually yeah, I think beautician covers it) and she taught me how to put on makeup when I was real young. Like, I was twelve years old and could cake the face of a thirty-five year old woman and make that hussie look GOOD! Her reasoning was if I was going to wear it, then I should at least know how to apply it right. Unfortunately for me, she was amazing at many things that I never picked up on and she had talents that certainly didn't trickle down to me. And now? Everything's so different that the old rules don't apply. Or... maybe they do and I just have to find my happy medium? Yeah... probably that.

I also don't know why I chose 5:45am to try out a new look when I had to be out of the house by 6:30. And honestly, as I was putting on my makeup it was really good... until it wasn't. The situation finally escalated to something along the lines of:

Bitches make putting on eyelashes look easy... this shit is so NOT easy. *gives up on eyelashes from the night before*
When did my face start doing this thing? *spends the next ten minutes trying to pull my face back to where it used to be*
Wow... I apparently don't know shit about contour or bronzer.
*puts some more bronzer on in the spots the videos said* Yeah... I don't think I'm doing this right. Does this make me look like I have dirt on my face?
*gives up on the bronzer and moves onto blush* This shit is way more pigmented than I remember blush being... WTF is happening?
*has flashbacks to my childhood and Tammy Faye Bakker* This has gone terribly awry.
*tries to blend and smooth everything together to look at least halfway decent* Eh, I reckon I'll set this shit, wash my face tonight, and hope for the best tomorrow morning. *brushes hair and doesn't do anything else because out of time*

And then to top it all off, I made my coffee this morning exactly how I like it and proceeded to leave it on the counter and walk right out of the house. Didn't realize it until I got to work and then rolled my eyes so hard at myself I think I lost a contact lens back there.

So you see, nothing has gone terrible. Life is still good and happy and fun.

I mostly just wanted to tell this story so I can conclude with the fact I do look like a 1980s evangelist and I'm not even sorry about it. Hopefully, this humpday gets on with it and Friday will be here before we know it. Because Dev and I have big plans.

Ok, not big plans. We have one WRTTMM to accomplish and then we'll be tattooing and hanging out and playing all weekend with each other. Because as I said, Dev indulges all my childish fantasies and psychedelic mindset.

It's a good life.

Love the life you have not the one you were expected to have.

I decided to do a little bit of reflecting for my thirty-fourth birthday.

Dani has a few quotes hanging in her office and one of my very favorites is, "love the life you have, not the life you expected to have." And the first time I read it, it stopped me in my tracks. Because I would say I live my life as an extension of this quote. 

Not living the way that I expected but more so, what was expected of me. 

I love my life. Dev and I have managed to fill our house with love and laughter and fun and joy and companionship. Our pups are an extension of our love, as they're our children and together we're all an amazing and beautiful family. 

My beautiful, amazing, special family. 

However, many people would look at our lives and roll their eyes. They would use words like lazy, codependent, barren (yes, that has been used to describe me because we made the decision to not have children), immature, shit like that.

And what do we say to those people who feel they have the right to have an opinion on it or tell us how we should live our lives? F*ck you and yo couch.

I'm so happy in my life. Happier than I ever thought I would be. Sometimes I feel guilt for being so happy. I realized I felt like that because if Momma hadn't passed away, life would look alot different now than it does. But, I think through that guilt and know she would want nothing but happiness and love for me. Just because I'm happy now doesn't mean I don't miss her or wish she was here. It just means I'm living a fulfilling life and she would be proud of that.

So to the people who don't think it's a good or realistic life? KILL YOURSELF, TROY.

I feel like we are all the other needs. And I'm sure some people would think that's incredibly unhealthy. People say shit like, "you can't only have your spouse as your friend" and others say "you can't only hang out with your spouse" and "you need girlfriends." Society thinks we should spend time apart and live by a set of standards that were developed in 1953. I say to hell with all that.

Y'all know it's 2024, right? The world is full and open to possibilities and we don't have to live the lives of the umpteenth generations before us. Sure, we can take pieces and skills and morals and apply them to our lives moving forward, but there really is no guideline to how you should be living your life. There are no set times you should meet your accomplishments and there's no one other than yourself that should tell you what is and what is not an accomplishment in YOUR life.

You want to have children? Cool. You don't want to procreate? Cool. You want to go back to school in your forties? You go, girl. You never want to step foot into another educational hall as long as you live? Don't blame you, dude. You wanna live life on the road out of a van? Me too. You want to have a $200,000 house? I wouldn't want to clean that bitch, but I'm happy for you!

See how that works? I don't give a shit how you want to live your life as long as you're not hurting anyone and being an absolute piece of shit while you're doing it. You're not hurting anyone, you're just weird and eclectic and quirky? You do you and the rest will come out in the wash or ringer.

I don't have an age where I think you should be a homeowner, or have children, or be finished with your education, or stop eating cereal for dinner. I don't even think you should do any of those things if you don't want to. You want to live in a fantasy land and fill your home with Disney and sour patch kids? You're grown and work hard for your money DO WHAT YOU WANT.

If you are quite literally winging life with $2.03 in your checking account and $30 in your savings account and trying to pay bills paycheck by paycheck, guess what? I'm still f*cking proud of you, because you're trying and doing the best you can do.

I think we could all do with extending a little more grace to those around us. Life is hard and unpredictable and there really is no reason to make another's life worse just because you don't agree with something about said person. Not being a dick, but can't you just turn right back the f*ck around and mind your own f*cking business? 

Oh, you have a problem with my excessive use of the word f*ck? Blow me.

So no, my life is not what others deem to be conventional. I am me and we live our lives the best way we know how. With nothing but love and admiration and devotion for the other. 

Live your life for you. We only get one and quite honestly it's beautiful in all the ways. Be free and happy... fill your homes with warmth and companionship and love whomever is going to love you back the fiercest. I know I do.

And just so you know, you don't have to wait until your thirty-fourth birthday to do it. Start right now.

Saturday morning hubby and pup cuddles are where it's at.

Our weekends are usually random... but oh so full of love. I know it may not seem like much to other people, but the alone and quality time I get to spend with my guys... well... that's what makes my world go round and level pieces of my sanity.

Even when I'm not the one getting all the cuddles... worth it.

Yeah, why are bodies a trend and 40 hour work weeks the norm?

I got sucked into a Buzzfeed article the other day that was all about the standards that society has set for us. And follows that up with... but why though? And in all honestly, I have to agree with the majority of these. In fact, I bitch about most some on the regular. Not just through this crazy little space I call my ramble-verse, but also to my husband, my pups, my boss/cousin/friend, basically anyone who will listen to my sarcastic ass.

Who made up all the rules and decided which was the correct way of living? Society as a whole? 

You mean the same society that quite literally fist fought over f*cking toilet paper? Yeah, we all remember the pandemic like it was yesterday. People were deciding if they were gonna use coffee filters or just hop in the shower and spray their asses off after each incident. All because SOCIETY decided to hoard copious amounts of toilet paper. It's not even like diarrhea was a symptom of Covid, so I still don't know what the f*ck that was all about.

BUT I WE REMEMBER.

With that being said, I thought I would follow up on a couple of them (from said article)... not all because your girl has limited attention span to mess around with these days.

"The expectation that you should automatically know things that weren't taught to you growing up. Taxes, laws, basic medical care, and even from what cleaning chemicals you can mix to how long food lasts in the fridge."

I couldn't agree with... most of... this more. I feel like some things we should be taught and others we can figure out as we go. Do I need somebody to tell me when it's no longer acceptable to eat the leftover spaghetti in my fridge? I mean, they could but I could also probably trial and error that shit throughout my life. Cleaning products not to mix? Bro, I can read and I don't feel the need to put a warning label on everything. Sometimes I feel like maybe use some common f*cking sense. BUT TAXES? Dude, all you have to do as an adult is deal with taxes and they just let your ass out into the world with no idea what the f*ck is happening and throw you in jail if you avoid it or do it wrong. I'm almost thirty-four and I still wish somebody would explain taxes and medical care to me. And I've been dealing with this shit a long time. If I'm being honest, I've been winging it this whole ass time.

"Healthcare being tied to employment. I don't want to be trapped in a job I hate just so I can get my prescriptions. I have enough savings and low cost of living, so I could totally do a part-time job but no... 40 hours for insurance."

I don't think healthcare should have anything to do with employment. I will never understand how the capabilities and potential are there and they are not available to every single human unless they somehow contribute to what society deems worthy. F*cking excuse me? Lord forbid you take a look at Denmark and see what they're doing. No. Because that would mean "giving something to someone who hasn't worked for it" and that just isn't something we do as a society, right? Wouldn't want someone to get something for nothing. Because unless you work your fingers to the bone you're not worthy of it. Right? F*ck off.

"The expectation of being constantly employed. If you're not producing something then you're worthless."

I was very much raised with the mindset that if you didn't work every single day, including on weekends, then you were considered lazy. The kind of work didn't matter, you just had to be working. Then again, if you had what people deemed an "easy job" then you were lazy too. Didn't matter how much you worked or how much of yourself you gave, it was just never enough and people would call you lazy for it. It took me a long time to realize that was an extremely toxic way to live. I've made many changes to myself over the last few years and one of those changes was I opened my mind to rethink things that had been ingrained into me since birth. With that came the "work ethic" point. I no longer fault someone who doesn't want to work round the clock, forty hours a week. I want people to be happy and to be fulfilled. Yes, we have to work to survive and not everyone was born to be a rockstar or doctor. Sometimes, we just want to live our normal lives and spend as much time with the people we care about as we can. That's extremely hard to do when you're chained to a desk or working yourself so long and so hard that you immediately collapse given the first opportunity.

"The quest for youthfulness. Growing older is a privilege, and I don't understand that hate on wrinkles, grey hair, etc. There used to be a saying, "grow old gracefully" which implies accepting the changes and making the most out of it."

Look, if you want to dye your hair or wear makeup or something, go for it. If you want to take care of yourself and have a skin care routine, go for it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking care of yourself or making yourself feel or look good. As long as it's for you. But how about, we leave everybody the f*ck alone about it? I don't care if you're twenty and look thirty. I don't care if you have grey hair. I don't care if you're thin or heavy or purple or have wrinkles or wear pajama pants in public. I DON'T CARE. Are you happy? Because that's what should matter. I do not care what someone looks like. Why are we judging people solely based on that? What the f*ck is wrong with you? Are they a good person? Do they treat others with respect and kindness? Are they minding their own f*cking business? Yes? Take a note and do the same.

"The false idea that men cannot be abused, or men cannot feel emotion. Men are supposed to slap on some bootstraps or, however, its called and "take it like a man." It's disgusting."

This is the dumbest shit I've ever heard and I've heard it my entire life. Men are supposed to have absolutely no feelings and women are insane for acknowledging theirs. It's a vicious no win cycle. I love that my husband shows me his emotions. There are no secrets or kept things between us. I'm 100% me and he's 100% him and that's one of my very favorite things about our relationship. I don't want to have a warm piece of stone walking around the house nodding along. I married a whole ass human with feelings and emotions and secrets and strengths and weaknesses. All of which he's entitled to have and be because again, he's f*cking human. He, and any other person. You should be allowed to feel your own feelings and not have to hide the fact that you have basic human capabilities.

"Beauty standards (for all genders). Human bodies should not be treated or seen as a trend, in my opinion."

See my quest for youthfulness. Again, I don't care how you want to look or what you want to wear. The chances of me paying attention to you instead of in my own little world or having a self-induced anxiety attack are pretty f*cking rare. You wear or dye or feel whichever way you want and if somebody has a problem with that, f*ck em. They're probably miserable little shits that get off on judging other people on the regular. You know what you should do with the people in your life that do that to you and make you feel that way? Cancel them from your life. You no longer have to pick up that phone or read that text. You don't have to stand there and listen to them. In all areas, you can simply walk away. From the situation, the person, the bullshit.

"The 40-hour work week."

This all goes back to my mindset growing up. The amount of shit I have received over my lifetime on this could fill a bucket. I've held a full-time job since I was fourteen years old. Before that, we worked every summer in tobacco and I had responsibilities on not just our land, but on the land of our neighbor because our family did work for him and his. What I'm saying is, work is not something new to me. I've never minded working and don't really know what I would do with myself without a job (although I bet with enough f*ck you money at my disposal I could figure it out). HOWEVER, I do not hold it against someone for not having that mindset. I don't care if you don't feel the need to hold a "40 hour" job or if you do odd and end jobs to make ends meet. I simply don't care. I want you to do what you need to do to get you to the next day and I want to do what I have to do to get to the next day and maybe we can meet somewhere in the middle and have a cup of tea or something. Because f*ck, life is hard and there's no reason to make it harder by being a dick to somebody because they don't meet your standards. Why do you even have those standards? My guess would be because society has influenced you to.

And when that happens, I want you to remember the toilet paper-laden fist fights of 2020.

"The stigmatization of mental health: Nothing says 'progressive society' like still treating mental health issues as taboo or a sign of weakness. It's almost impressive how persistent this standard is, considering the leaps and bounds made in understanding the human brain."

I'm gonna be real honest with this one... I struggle with my mental health daily. And I am certainly not the only one. It's easy to get lost in your head and let your mind take over. It literally is an every single day process to deal with. With that being said, I should also throw it out there I have a dark sense of humor. Do I crack jokes about something another person is going through? Absolutely not. But, do I crack jokes and make sarcastic quips at my own expense? F*ck yes, I do. Because that's what gets me through and I won't apologize for it. We all deal with our lives any which way we can. And I will never understand why someone would feel the need to shit on somebody that is just trying to live their life the best way they know how or can.

We need to do better as people in general. Humans as a whole. And society? Well, society as a whole can suck a bag of dicks because we've decided we're not listening to those f*cking losers anymore.

Five years.

This day seems to sneak up on me even though I always know it's coming. Honestly, it never fails. I always know when January is looming and know when it's headed towards its end and yet, somehow and someway, it still feels... surprising.

I reflected on where I am in life this past September (Momma's birthday), and I'd say I'm still there. Somewhere between acceptance and moving forward, while still having my moments of crushing guilt, despair, and confusion.

Today feels like every other day and like none of the other days at all. A not so friendly reminder that things are different and life has been altered. A day designed to disrupt my brain chemistry and throw my feelings into turmoil.

But then, I think of all the happy and the good and I try to counteract all the bad juju with the good memories and feelings of love. All the hope and love and life lessons that we're gifted to me throughout my life.

Is it foolproof? No. But does it help? Sometimes.

Because at the end of the day, we're all just human and trying our best. And sometimes all we need is a little grace, even if that grace needs to come from ourselves.

Congratulations to a set of our very favorite people on the planet!! 😍

Today, my MIL got engaged to her best friend. (And being the champ he is, had Cait facetime so we could be apart of it too!)

And to say Dev and I are happy for her, would be an understatement. Her and her Guy have known each other for fifteen years and in that time, have grown a beautiful friendship. One with love, understanding, compassion, empathy, trust, and acceptance.

When we lost my FIL, none of us were sure what would happen next. No one ever prepares you for the devastating part of life, even if we know it could always be around the corner. Because there really is no way to prepare, either way, devastation comes in many forms and can blindside you. So when that happened, we were all scared and unsure. Her life as she knew it, was gone.

She lost her partner and he lost his best friend.

But, throughout that horrible and wounding time, they were able to hold onto those around them and make it through. None more so than each other. And I find that beautiful. I find that with the cataclysmic alteration of her life, she was able to pick up the pieces and power through and found her way to a peaceful life. And he was there every step of the way to hold her hand and have her back.

And to me, that's beautiful. So beautiful it almost reduces me to tears, because she deserves all the love and understanding and amazing things life could offer. All of it. She's good and fun and loving. Always putting herself out there for others and ensuring that the people she cares about are taken care of. 

We want her to be happy. Her entire family wants nothing but beautiful and special and amazing things for her. And anybody who doesn't? Well, they can kiss all of our combined asses because f*ck that. She deserves all the goodness life has to offer.

We're happy and excited for them and quite frankly, I cannot wait to see my beautiful MIL walk down the aisle to a man who has stars in his eyes when he looks her way.

Congratulations, Trish and Guy! We love and miss y'all so much! And we're SO excited for you! 

🎉 The most Garfieldian birthday boy in all the land. 🎉

Happy 6th Birthday to our pitiful little pitty, who just wants to take naps, get butt scratches, and eat snacks. More Garfield than anything, and the sweetest snuggle pup around. We love you, bubbs.

This old gal is aging out of the tomfuckery.

I recently read an article about women in their thirties. Ok, that's a bit of a broad statement... I read an article about how women in their thirties "age out of the male gaze." Seriously, you ever get sucked into a Yahoo "news" article? Happens to me on the regular and I'm not even sorry about it because why the hell not?

This article went on to explain that by age thirty-three women start becoming less attractive to men physically and men felt the need to approach those women less in everyday life. It said that whether men do this purposefully or subconsciously, it happens. Mostly, it applies to strangers, as you tend not to notice the aging of a person in your day to day life.

Meaning, my husband will still find me attractive but no one else will feel the need to talk to me.

And can I just say, I have NEVER been more excited to be turning thirty-four in a few weeks in my entire f*cking life? SERIOUSLY?! People are going to feel the need to talk to me less? YES.

I mean, it's not like dudes are walking up to me on the regular to hit on me (it takes alot of effort to look this mediocre on the daily), that's not what I mean. I don't think I'm so damn pretty people are in awe and I think men are lining up to harass me. THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M SAYING.

However, I did think of about fifty jokes to go along with it and if I'm being completely honest, shit is funny. I mean, where do people get off on this kind of study? Who is lining the f*cking halls wanting to know the judgment of society? Did someone just walk into work one day and get assigned a project and the first thought they had was, "huh, let's see if I can break self esteem and give people some information that cannot possibly be accurate?"

Because I don't for one second believe this is accurate... otherwise there wouldn't be men that prefer older women? Has no one heard of a cougar? I think this is another one of those made up things to get women to raise their levels of paranoia and spend copious amounts of money to try and age like f*cking Benjamin Button.

We age. It happens. Move along now.

Keep the people who love you for you close and all the naysayers can go naysay on the f*cking hill across the pasture. And if anybody needs me, I'll be living my sweet-sweet almost thirty-four, aging out of the small talk, snuggling with hubbs and pups life. And let me just say, it is a good f*cking life.

My hubby has a much younger wife... for the next three to four weeks. 🎉

On this day, thirty-four years ago, my amazing mother-in-law brought a bouncing baby boy into this world... and here we are all these years later... with me reaping the benefits.

There are not enough words to encompass all the things I wish I could say or to let people know how I feel when it comes to my hubby.

He's kind, caring, loving, hilarious, sweet, strong, dependable, loyal, trustworthy. All those words? And NONE of them even come close to touching the man. He's everything I never even knew I needed and more than I'll ever deserve.

The most amazing husband to me, the best son to his parents, the most reliable brother to his siblings, and hands down, the most fantastic pup dad around these parts.

Here's to you, my love.

I love you so deep in my bones, I don’t know how my muscles hold up. You make everything in life better and beautiful.

Happy Birthday, to the pitter to my patter.

🎉 Our little lion hunter baby is seven today!! 🎉

Happy 7th Birthday to the pup who gets up with me, without fail, every single morning bright and early just to follow me around and maybe get some morning snuggles. We love you, XurXur.