It's all a joke until you do the math... then it's just confirmed hilarity.

It's no secret that I'm a little insane for obsessed with my husband. I'm forever hanging around him and constantly on his toes with my nose all up in his business. Honestly, he could stop walking one day and I'll probably be so close behind him we'll both topple over. He'll make sure to cushion my landing before his own and then I'll have to puppy-dog-eye my way out of his annoyance.

And you know what? I'm not even a little bit sorry about it. Why? Because he created this little monster.

That's right, Dr. Frankenstein. Let's not pretend this isn't your doing.

I've always prided myself on being able to take care of... well... myself. Not so much mentally (lord knows that train left the station a couple decades ago... if it ever was stationed to begin with), but financially and physically? I f*cking got this. I've held a full time job since I was fourteen years old and have been responsible for an entire household for as long as I can remember. So, that part? Got it... mostly (we all have our wtf moments in life).

But emotionally? Ha! If you think compartmentalizing every single thing that happens throughout your life and shoving them deep down into the deepest pit of your stomach so you can ignore it... until one day you have a mental break and never fully recover and now you're just a completely different person dealing with a life you have so many questions about and can never receive the answers to is "having it." Then yeah, I got that too.

A little backstory... as most people know, my husband and I met in a little podunk town in Florida when we were fifteen years old. We were highschool sweethearts and when I tell you that man was my dream even when he was still a boy, I'm not just whistling dixie. We were inseparable and had more love for one another than I feel most adults get to experience in a lifetime... until inseparable became separated and we didn't see each other for years. It was hard and sad and quite honestly, it f*cking sucked.

But then, like he's always had a away of doing... he found me and showed up when my entire life was about to fall into ruins. I mean, here he was trying to relearn who I was as an adult and who we were together as people and then I had a complete meltdown and became a person even I didn't know. Honestly, even I had never met the f*cking woman standing in front of him.

Did he run scared for the hills? Probably should have... but he didn't. While most people in general wouldn't want to take on that kind of tomfuckery, my husband looked me dead ass in the eyes and told me we either had it together or we didn't have f*ck all apart. He held my hand and carried me through the trenches. He dried my tears and cradled my body. He fed me and kissed me and made sure he took care of me when I couldn't even think to take care of myself. He didn't have to... it wasn't his responsibility... and yet... you would think the position was made for him.

I have alot of doubts about life... people... situations... but I never have to doubt him.

He's all of it and the it is the best part.

We both like to make jokes about the rebeginning of our relationship. I believe my exact words were something like, "I'm never getting married! No one can hold me down! VIVA LA FREEDOM!!!" Or, something dramatic like that. And he would laugh and tell me we didn't have to be married... we could just be us and that would always be enough.

Sweet, right? Yeah... it was also a dirty trick. I mean, the best kind of dirty trick, but still! I don't know how he did it... I don't know what kind of sorcery he used... but I spent the first thirty years of my life being very vocal about "never getting married" and then he locked it down in less than two years. Well... I mean, he had quite a few years of built up love behind him, but that's neither here nor there.

Less than two years. And in case you're wondering, YES! I did in fact eat crow for my wedding dinner. Thank you very much.

We joke and tease each other about this all the time... but I wouldn't change any of it. I wouldn't change the fact I get to be married to my best friend. I wouldn't change the fact the man of my dreams treats me like a fragile little princess (and yes, I can hear the feminism beating on my door but NOBODY'S HOME RIGHT NOW). I wouldn't change that I get to do life with my soulmate and the other half of myself. I wouldn't change that we have furbabies and have built a life completely unique and special to us.

At the end of the day, I'm not perfect. We're not perfect as people. But to me? Well... he's pretty f*cking spectacularly perfect to me. And to him? Well... I'm sure I'm a little demon but he loves me regardless.