Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Why Do I Remember That?

Yesterday morning as Aunt Susi and Danielle were talking about a new App out, and going to the movies, I was reminded of when I went to see Saw V in theaters. I went with a guy that I was kind of seeing at the time, his best friend, and his best friends fiance. Let's just say that date was excruciatingly horrible different. A friend of mine from work had her cousin come in one night when we were working a double, he saw me and told her he thought that I was cute, she thought that we would be "adorable" together, and that's how I met Frank. Thanks Cracker Jack.

His name really wasn't Frank, but for the sake of not getting sued in some form or another-we shall call him Frank. We had been on one date and had been talking for awhile. Our first date was pretty "low-key" and we had just hung out and had a few drinks. We didn't do too much on our first date because he insisted on coming to see me after I got off work, and I didn't get off until after 11:00 pm. They wanted me to work over and I didn't because I was going out with him. Thinking back I should've just pulled that double. On our second (first "official going somewhere") date he asked me to go with him and his friend (that we'll call Sammy) and dude's fiance (that we'll call Nevaeh...Why? Because that's the stupidest girl name I can think of...EVER!) on a double date. I agreed and he picked me up from my apartment around five that afternoon.

We drove into the town next to us (remember people I lived in the sticks) where he lived. We met up with Sammy and headed over to pick up Nevaeh. Should've never picked her up. Can we say bat shit crazy odd? The experience started from there.

First: I climbed into the driver's side of Frank's truck, because the passenger door stuck. He tried to help me in (I'm so short I had to climb in it), but my shoes were wet from the grass and I ended up slipping and smacking my face on his big ole-timey Chevy steering wheel. The rest of our the date, I had a steering wheel imprint on the entire left side of my face. Not attractive, but what are you gonna do? We switched from Frank's truck to a car because the theater we were going to was about an hour and a half away, and we all couldn't fit in his truck. That was fine. No big deal. Or so we thought. As soon as that crazy girl got into the car she started going nuts about the wedding. Nuts! Apparently, Sammy was supposed to be picking up some things for this "joyous" day and didn't. She was yelling and hitting him in the face screaming obscenities (he was driving down the road by the way), and then she turned on Frank. I guess with him being the best man he had responsibilities to, and wasn't holding up his end of the stick.

Second: We went to a BBQ place to eat before the movie. I love BBQ! Love it! So did the guys. Being from the towns that we were, you only had so many options to choose from, so you learned to love what was there. BBQ was definitely a staple for us. Well, that time around Frank got chicken. We weren't aware that it was bad (of course) so he ate it and ended up getting food poisoning by the end of the night. Crazy ass Nevaeh had water and complained that it was dry. Yeah, still haven't figured that one out.

Third: We ran into the mall when we got down there (I had never been in it and Frank told me that there was a carousel in it. I thought that was neat, so Frank and Sammy wanted to take me to see it). We shouldn't have done that. We ended up running into the bridesmaids from hell  the wedding. Let's just say twenty-five of the longest minutes of my entire life!! We finally made it to the movie and watched Saw V. Gross movie! I liked it and it was good, but people were getting sick and screaming and doing bad in the theater. Frank decided to put his arm around me, which was fine, but Nevaeh saw this and commenced to hitting Sammy in the face and screaming "Why don't you do that with me! You don't love me!!" Which he responded to by saying "Well, I'm marrying your crazy ass ain't I!!" From there on the fight was on. Well, more than it had been already.

The ride home was real fun, let me just tell you. Good times, good times. Sense the sarcasm?

By the time we got back to Frank's truck, there were never two people in the world more ready to commit hairy-carrey! Seriously! Never! We got in the truck and listened to the radio and talked as he took me home. It was pretty late so there was no one on the roads. About halfway there we had to pull over because the impending food poisoning had gotten to Frank and he had to throw up. I wasn't paying much attention to our surroundings, I was just trying to help him. It was pitch black out. Then I realized where we were. Out of all of that long country road that we had to choose from, he had pulled into the county monument making company and puked all over someone's tombstone. That's an Omen. I'm pretty sure that both of us had dark clouds follow us around for weeks after that one. All I could think was, "Yep, definitely going to hell for this one". We got back in the truck and he took me the rest of the way home.

When we got there I don't exactly know what was going through his mind but he tried to kiss me goodnight. What was going through my mind? "Dude! Seriously! You just puked everywhere! Are you crazy?!"  I was like yeah not gonna happen. He got out to let me out and apologized for the "unusual" date that we had just been on.

We dated more after that (around 3 months on and off I guess), and the dates were better than the second. Seriously though, the only way they could've gotten worse is if some dark voo-doo and Taylor Swift had been involved. They weren't great though, so we had talked about not seeing each other anymore. After we had this conversation I received a text message on my break at work saying that I was a great person and very beautiful, but he didn't think this relationship was working and we should just be friends.

In Guy Code that means: I don't want anything serious, but I may want to "hit you up" again in the future.
In Girl Code that means: I'm a Tool, and it's definitely you not me.

What I took from the text message? Number one, we just had this conversation six hours ago and came to the same conclusion. Number two, Really Dude over a text message? Number three, I wasn't even aware we were in a serious relationship. Number four, Seriously! We just had this conversation!

My friend at the time (Justin) tried to make me feel better about this and I had to tell him that I wasn't upset at getting "broken up with" I was confused because we already had this conversation and I didn't even know that he was my boyfriend. I know it's sad, but it's the truth. Justin looked as confused as me at that point.

Now every time someone talks about a horrible date, I automatically think back on this one. Now that I think about it, I can't even remember his last name. Guess we weren't "soulmates" huh? :)