Tuesday, June 17, 2014

And Jack just left.

Hello people. Good news, the evil tooth that I'm pretty sure was related to Satan or at least a Kardashian is out of my head, and after four stitches and five days the hole in my mouth is almost completely healed. No longer in pain, whoop whoop. Can I get an amen? Amen!! Just so y'all know seeing me on pain killers (which I told the dentist I didn't need, but she insisted I did) was hilarious. I of course left work half day on Thursday and ended up having Friday off to. Probably a good thing since my jaw was the size of a squishy softball. I guess, they didn't want someone that looked like the elephant man up in the office scaring the daylights out of people. Thanks, Dani. The sleep was much appreciated after all that mess. Enough about that.

I was pretty much out of commission last week this weekend (painkillers), so basically I did a whole lot of nothing, so when I got to thinking about it, really last week for me looked a bit like this--->>--->>--->>

Which coincidentally isn't all that different from any other week, but whatevs. Aunt Poot asked me if I lost weight, because I looked a bit smaller (thanks Aunt Poot- I credit the shorts that I was wearing). She was all- "are you on a special diet?" And I was all- "Yes. I am. I'm on the eating tacos and watch re-runs of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia diet. It's delightful". She laughed and called me a smartass. Ahh, family.

I have decided to add Keira Knightley to the list of famous women that I would like to look like. Her and Kaley Cuoco. Because hello, it's Kaley and Keira. I swear, I would get Kaley's haircut if I could look as cute as she does. Sadly, I don't. Nor will I ever. There is literally nothing that girl does with her look that I don't think is adorable. SO adorable.

Anyways, her hair is so cute and makes her daintiness even more dainty, sadly though I would look less like a cute Peter Pan and more like a Robin Williams' Peter Pan. Wow, I am getting old. I bet not a lot of people would get that reference if they're not my age. Perhaps one day though, I will just get the balls, go to someone, and have it all chopped off. So chopped off that I can't pull it back in a ponytail to hide it. You know, this kind of cut. But for now, I'm sticking with my long hair. One- because I love it. Two- because it's easy to deal with (and by deal with I mean ponytail and bun). And three- because every time I get it cut short, I hate it, so you know, there's that.

I have been watching a lot of It's Always Sunny re-runs (thank you DVR) and I gotta say, I'm still loving it. When I first started watching it I felt like a really horrible person. I'm not gonna lie, it's a morally questionable show, but I love it. Uhh, Charlie Day? Yes, please. I think that he might be the male version of me. Or what is that people are saying? My spirit animal? I don't know what in the hell that means, but we're going with it. Remind me to show y'all the commencement speech that he gave. Or you know, just use this link right here. Which ever.

I go back to the "lady" doctor to have those cells rechecked today. I would just like to go on the record of saying that I know it's necessary, but I don't like having to go back and have tests run every six months. Boo. I have much more important things to do. You know, like It's Always Sunny and tacos. We just had this talk. I don't know why I felt the need to tell y'all this, but we all know- I DO WHAT I WANT.

I talked to Noodle Friday. Friday? Saturday? One of those days, and in the short little conversation that we had she told me about her new boyfriend. She also sent me a picture of him. I replied with the usual- "Oh, he's a cutie!" And wanted to know all about him and how they are doing. Apparently I know him and he was "offended" that I didn't remember him. (He wasn't really offended, they were teasing me). The worst part? She wouldn't tell me who he was, and instead made me think it out. Damn.

Well, I was getting ready for work this morning I started thinking about it and I finally got it. Noodle's boyfriend, I mean. Keep up. I think that he was the boy that used to talk to me my Ag class all the time. He sat next across from me. I, of course, immediately sent Noodle a message informing her that I had cracked the case wide open. Basically, because I wanted to feel like Scooby and Shaggy when they solved a mystery. The message read: Wait! Did I have Ag class with him? Is he that Andrew?! Did I just solve the mystery?! You have SO many questions to answer when you read these messages. Basically, I'm hoping that I'm right. Otherwise I'm going to look like an ass, and have to start from scratch. Which would suck, but you know.

I'm feeling a bit nostalgic today. Can you tell? Well, in honor of that my Facebook status reads- "Well, hello mister fancypants. I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town". Nope. Still funny. Which if you know me, you know that's one of Bruce Campbell's (AMAZING) lines from Army of Darkness (one of the greatest movies ever). I love Bruce Campbell. And now I want a taco. A couple tacos. Doritos locos tacos. And guacamole. But specific guacamole from either the little Mexican restaurant down the street here or Chili's. But if it's Chili's I'm gonna need shrimp fajitas to.

One more thing before I go, y'all need to try the drinks that I have been my go to drink since it got warm outside. These drinks are: WATER MOCCASINS?!! Anyone? A water moccasin is a drink made up of crushed ice, pineapple juice, and Crown Royal. And they are delicious. Oh, right, and Dani brought me the book- Bossypants (I love Tina Fey) to borrow so that I can read it. So I will be here soon. And Aunt Susi brought me a giant snickerdoodle cookie (thank you, AS!) from Paradise Bakery.