Wednesday, March 25, 2015

And I'm just drinking wine. (And eating Bagel Bites).

(No regrets).

Every time I talk to one of my "girlfriends" it seems like each one of them (with the exception of a couple) are either pregnant, planning a wedding, or telling me a new story about one of their kids that's "just SO adorable" I have to hear it. It never seems like I ask one of them how things are that they say- "Oh you know just hanging around the house" or "This guy is really on my ass.....and I like it", not even "I tried this new pasta dish the other night, it's delicious and you have to try it immediately". (I'm on the hunt for delicious pasta dishes as of right now). Do any of these things come up?


It's mostly (once again, with the exception of a few) just a whole lot of "Wait until you see what little Bobby made in school the other day" and "We decided on a Spring wedding for next year, because we can barely wait" (By the way, if you can "barely wait" get married tomorrow, not a year from this allergy season, which will also be you know, allergy season). Also, "I have cankles, hemorrhoids, and my boyfriend currently hates me, because my mood swings make me throw knives at his face. He's getting really good at bobbing and weaving. Just wait until you get pregnant and have a baby, you'll understand".

Oh, really? Will I understand? Will I?! Because you just made it all sound so appealing. What with not being able to be comfortable even when you're naked, involuntary things popping out and turning the guy that you "love" into a MMA Fighter, why wouldn't I look forward to all of these things? Not too mention that you love this guy SO much that you can "barely wait" to get married. And then wait another whole year and some. Sounds legit. By the way "Bobbys" little "painting"? I don't know what in the hell that is. It looks like about two finger swipes and a nose dive to me. Don't worry though, I'm sure he'll improve with age. And if not, just hold out hope that he grows up smart enough to not accidentally staple his own scrotum to his own leg and desk. You laugh, but like father like son.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love my friends. Love them. I only have a very select few, because I'm a firm believer in the whole "quality over quantity" practition, but every once in awhile one of them says something and it irks me on a whole other level. I mean, I accept you for the crazy, baby having, man trapping, secret pill popping (when you're not pregnant) mess that you are.

What? Did you think that there was a purpose to me telling you all of the things that I accept them for? I think the purpose is implied. And not all of them do these kinds of things and they very much accept me for me, but every once in awhile, I think they feel the need to "impart some wisdom" on me or something. And no offense, but I'm perfectly happy staying in at night, eating bagel bites and drinking alcohol soda.

I think the whole purpose of this post is to tell you guys that I know you are only worried about me and I love you guys for it, but really, I'm ok. You know me, I'm very much just me and I'm not going to change anytime soon. Which is probably good since our friendships are built on 7/8 sarcasm.

Also, "Bobbys" dad is an idiot.