Remember my good ole buddy- B. Davis? Of course you do, she's the one that has more issues in her love life than Buffalo Bill. Not in the same context, but you get my idea. Well, she has had yet another mishap when it comes to her current "flame." Oh, the things that happen when the crackling flames burn down to embers. Sorry, I'm in a serious metaphorical mood right now, I'll try to restrain myself.
BLINDED BY THE LIGHT.....
Again, I apologize. So, back to BD. Remember when her and I had that long talk about unicorns and I said that the current guy she was seeing might surpass her unicorn? I should've known better than to say that, afterall, unicorns are mythical and mysterious for a reason. And the reason is the fact that they can't be surpassed (at least for this analogy).
Her Dilemma (with my sarcastic comments included):
She needed some "real talk" and she knows that if she needs someone to be
My Follow-up (with a minor defense):
"So, what do you want me to help you with? Because the way I look at it, if you're ok just sleeping with him and not having a relationship (yes, some people do that and it's entirely ok and healthy), then quit over thinking everything else. If you're not ok with just sex and casual conversation, quit right now- cold turkey like a heroin addict."
Her Rebuttal (once again, including my sarcastic comments):
"I don't know if I'm ok with it or not. It's the lack of communication/conversation that I think I'm not ok with. We don't talk much at all. Weeks go by and not one word (sounds like a dream of mine). It bothers me that he spent so much time telling me it wasn't just sex (of course he did..... so you would in turn have sex with him). He said it over and over and over (again, so you would in turn have sex with him). And now..... it clearly is and I just don't know where my head is."
My Defense (with clear reasoning):
"Unfortunately, as a woman, you can't go from here without confronting your feelings (clearly, you haven't built up the tolerance of ignoring your feelings like I have) and seeing if you're ok with it or not (you're not). My own personal experience, and take this with a grain of salt, because we both know how much I drink (it helps with the whole "not confronting my feelings" thing), I'm going to go ahead and say that you're not ok with it, because you already have feelings invested (because hormones)."
Her Second Argument (do I even need to tell you I'm sarcastic at this point?):
"I know I should just cut my losses and call it a day, but it's like when he texts or something, all rational thoughts (we've talk about this, you don't have any) and brain activity shuts off. I go deaf and dumb to any kind of coherent thoughts until after he's gone and come down from my 'high' and then I'm like- dammit!! (we've all been there)"
My Solution (with complete maturity- I had drank a bit by this point):
"Tell him that. Let him think he's coming over for booty and then be like- NO. No booty for you, sir!! Because you're an asshole."
Her Final Stand and Hope (you know what's coming):
"And that's what I was trying to do..... with resetting my phone. And then boom he texts. Maybe....."
My Closing Argument (so much alcohol involved at this point):
"Then you're going to have to take the mature approach to this whole situation. Secretly egg his car, block all of his numbers/social media and avoid him like he was the Black Plague and your life depended on it. I'm talking bob and weave, hiding behind people at the grocery store, maybe even relocating to a new state."
Needless to say, my maturity is being called into question and she's still nowhere near a solution.