I now own a bathing suit after like, twelve years. And, oh boy.

With our upcoming vacation only a couple of weeks away, D and I have been slowly collecting the things that we'll "need" for vacation. On this list, was apparently a bathing suit.... for me. D already owns one, a side effect of growing up and living almost your entire life in Florida I'm assuming.

But me? I haven't owned/been in a bathing suit since I was around nineteen years old. Why? I don't really have a reason, except that was the last time I was around a lake or swimming pool. Now though, D's mom and dad have put in a pool at their house and since we'll be staying with them the majority of our trip, D insisted that we needed to be prepared to jump in.

Now, me being the person that I am, I didn't want to make a big deal out of this and I definitely didn't want to go to a store and try on suits (even though I'm pretty sure you can't do that any way, because of Covid?), so I just ordered my shit off of Amazon. And let me tell you what.... thirty-one year old Katie does NOT look as appealing in a bathing suit as nineteen year old Katie did.

Do I care that much? No. Hell, my body is my body and it kind of just does its own thing, BUT I would be lying if I said that I wasn't still self conscious. Even back in the day when everything was toned and placed where it was supposed to be, I was never comfortable. It's not a body image thing I don't think, it's more of a I don't like showing much skin thing. Never have, probably never will if I'm being 100% honest.

I even asked D if it was supposed to look like it does (revealing) and he informed me that it's not revealing at all (it covers more than what most suits do), but that I'm just uncomfortable. He then tried to make me feel better by saying that we'll only be around our family and while that is comforting to most people, I am not one of them. What are the odds I can swim in my suit bottoms and a tanktop? Anybody? 

Whatevs.... in any event, our vacation is just around the corner and while neither of us are looking forward to the actual drive (even though it'll be much more comfortable in our van this year as opposed to a little car like last year), we are excited to see his family and just hang out. Now, if you'll excuse me.... I need to go get drunk so that I will feel more comfortable in a bathing suit. I mean, drinking is totally a healthy coping mechanism, right? RIGHT?!!?!