Tuesday, October 1, 2013

For The Record

I would just like people to acknowledge the fact that Death is near. And by this, I mean for me. No I'm not getting all crazy religious or Mayan or whatever. That's not what I mean. Death is near for me, because apparently it wasn't good enough that I had an Egyptian Brain Eating Bug burrowing it's way through my elbow up into my head so it could eat it's way out of my face. No, now I'm deathly ill. And by deathly ill I mean I'm getting what some people might refer to as the "common cold". Laugh if you will, but I do not find this at all cool. I do not like being sick and I try to avoid it at all costs. Now I know that nobody technically likes to be sick, but that is neither here nor there.

The point is I do not like it and I would appreciate it if it would just stop right now. It feels like bees are buzzing in my head, my stomach is queasy, and frankly the rest of me is feeling kind of gross too. I call foul! So now what am I going to do to try to avoid this? Well, after work I guess I will be stopping by the store to pick up some medicine (i.e. Witchcraft in pill form) and orange juice (i.e. the Devil's serum), and then I will proceed to go home, shower, rub down with whatever that god awful smelling Vicks vapor rub is, put on sweats and eat chicken noodle soup while drinking OJ. (The juice, not the dude-just clearin' that up). Try to cut it off before it gets bad.

You mock me, but I'm trying to avoid the bad part. Trying to save people alot of grief, because trust me I am NOT a pleasant sick person. I think that I can still go with a temperature of up to 103.7 and honestly I'm cranky. I am not one of those people that won't admit it, I'll admit it. When I don't feel good I'm crankier than Walter Matthau as Coach Buttermaker. If you don't know what I'm talking about A.) Just trust me, it's really cranky and B.) Seriously? Watch the movie fool. It's just the truth. I don't even want people near me when I'm sick. I want to be a hermit that no one visits. I blame that one on reading To Kill A Mockingbird as a young child. Poor Boo Radley.

I don't like to say that I'm not feeling good, except on here because apparently in my head this blog is the exception to every one of my rules, so one time when I was sick I didn't say anything. Everybody kept asking me, but I just blew it off. I really did look/feel rough though. I looked so bad, that it made Lady Gaga look good. And yes that included the infamous "Meat Dress". I just kept letting it go and letting it go, until finally Mark (I was still working at the Nursing Home) sat me down and checked my temp and stuff. I had a temp of 103.7 and they made me go to the Doctor against my will might I add and 2.5 months later the Bronchitis was finally almost gone. Yeah, it was Bronchitis. My bad. I thought that it was just a "cold". I was wrong. That's what I get for ignoring stuff I guess. And I accidentally got all of my co-workers sick. Oops. So now I try to head stuff off at the pass. I'm not even aloud too close to Dani, if she gets the "crud" from me I'll never hear the end of it. Oopsy. Anyways...Thank ya'll for stopping by, even if it was just to listen to me ramble for a minute or two. {P.S. I may have made that theory about the Egyptian Brain Eating Bug up. It could possibly just be psoriasis or the change of the weather. Seriously though, you gotta stay on your toes!} Happy October 1st! My Favorite Month! And A Big Happy Birthday To The Deuce Berlin!!