Guilty as charged

Y'all we all have those moments in life that you see someone doing something, or a new "trend" comes out and you're all- "That's so annoying. There's no point. Why do people have to act like idiots? That's not even a clever thing." Blah, blah, blah. You know I'm right. However, then we all secretly do some of the things that we "judge" other people for. Whether it's a "guilty pleasure" song that we listen to when no one is around, or a fashion trend that we secretly love but just won't admit. Well, today I've decided to confess some of these slight misdemeanors of my own. Wish me luck... 

"I always tell the truth. Even when I lie."

~Al Pacino

Let's get the truthful stuff that I don't lie about out of the way, but people somehow always think that it's the exact opposite. For some unknown reason people that I haven't seen in awhile always think that I am one of these things. Just so you know- I'm not.

No, I don't have a secret boyfriend that I'm hiding from everybody.

No, I'm not married. 

No, I don't have a baby, nor am I currently pregnant.

No, I haven't been dating recently.

No, I haven't decided to "switch teams".

I don't know why so many of y'all assume these things on a regular basis, but I think that at some point I should be slightly offended. Just saying. Seriously, do I look pregnant? Do I look like a lonely-crazy cat lady? Do I look like Kathy Bates in Misery? The more thought that's put into this, the more that I should just stick my tongue out at y'all, but I won't. Well, with those out of the way, let me tell you some of the ridiculous things about myself, that I tend to judge other people for. I know that I should be very ashamed of myself at this point, but I'm not. I just can't not say this any longer, people must know. And by people I mean my fellow bloggers and/or readers that I don't see in my everyday life. 

Guilty: I wear leggings as pants.

In my defense: They are sooo comfortable. I know that they're not "pants", but if you people insist on my not wearing pajamas and/or sweats in public at all times, than you're going to have to learn how to deal with the legging thing. I always wear longer shirts or dresses with them, so technically it's all good. You can't see my butt or "the goodies". That counts, right?

Guilty: I sleep with my head wet and the fan on me.

In my defense:  I know that I should wear a coat. I know that I should dry my hair. I know that I should wear sweaters. However, coats are heavy, air drying is healthy/good for your hair, and sometimes I just feel to lazy to deal with it. That's why I need longer hair. Not only do I have a fat head so hair helps to hide that, but I need to be able to pull it on top of my head. Sad, but true.

Guilty: I hate it and get mad when people talk during movies/TV shows, but I do it.

In my defense: Come on, no one likes when they're trying to pay attention to something and keep getting interrupted. When I interrupt it's for a legitimate reason no it's not. I know I should stop throwing the hissy-fits, but it annoys me.

Guilty: I smack talk Swift and Miley, but I secretly love some of their songs...and one of Beyonce's.

In my defense: I know, I know. And if Dani reads this I'll never live it down, but I can't help it. I like to think Tim Mcgraw while I'm Partying in the USA. Swift takes me back to that eighteen year old girl with all of her friends riding around in a camaro at all hours of the night/morning. And Miley, well Miley just makes me want to dance. Not twerk. Besides some of them are really effing catchy. If you like it- Then you should've put a ring on it.

Guilty: I Instagram food pics and random memes from movies/books/TV shows.

In my defense: I do what I want. I don't care what other people do with theirs so I don't think they should be all judgy with mine.

Guilty: I take selfies...and do the duck face.

In my defense: I know that it's ridiculous and just shouldn't be done...but like I said- I do what I want. Besides it makes my round-chubby face look thinner and sometimes I just really hate my smile.

Guilty: I sometimes look at the people that I grew up with and went to school with and I smack talk them. Even if I like them.

In my defense: I know that it's mean and it makes me a horrible person, but you can't tell me that you don't look at some of the people you grew up with popular, snooty, over-privileged and think to yourself- whatevs, you are not that damn happy. Then I make funny faces at them and think of something crappy that they did and/or said to me or somebody I liked and I'm all- you're a tool. After a minute though I feel bad, because I'm all- I don't know what their home life was like, I should be nice now like I was the whole time we were growing up, they probably are good people now. They're probably not, but I should be nice. I try.