Saturday, December 21, 2013

Saturday Letters.

Dear Aunt Susi, thank you for lunch, and for my new cardigan wrap thingy. You didn't have to do that, but thank you. It's very pretty. Dear stomach, you can quit being queasy anytime. I don't like it and being sick is for the birds. Dear Momma, it's nice that we get to hang out and spend time together. I really love it. We should "do lunch" and "shop" more often. And by that I mean ride around on the way back from the grocery store while eating a dollar burger and singing/dancing to Nsync's greatest hits. Best dollar spent. Ever! I can't believe that I remember all the lyrics and the dances. If I could clear all of the useless information out of my head I would have so much room for important stuff. Oh well, I like it. Dear Jamie Dornan, congratulations on your new baby girl. Dear Fast&Furious6, you were an awesome movie. Seriously, awesome. But now I'm even more sad that Paul Walker passed away, because it made me realize it all that much more. Sad. Dear Christmas radio station, I will be sooo happy when you and your five songs are no more! Bitches. Dear Ian Somerhalder, what happened to getting together and spending our life together dude? Seriously, get the lead out. Dear Uncle Jimmy, I'm not going to tell you that I laid on the couch...or that I let Tayder up there to lay with me. What can I say? When I'm sick I want my puppy and teddy. Yes, it really is like I'm three years old. Whatevs. Dear Greg, quit bringing your friend around, I was trying to talk to him and be nice, but he freaks me the hell out. Dear people who were surprised about what Phil from Duck Dynasty said, Seriously? I mean you didn't see that one coming? I don't personally watch the show, but even I know that he's an old southern bible thumper. How could you have not seen that coming? Even I knew that's what he thought. Dear It's always sunny in Philadelphia, you're not right and I feel bad about myself every time I watch you. With that being said, I also think that you are...hilarious. Dear Charlie, I hope that your daddy gets better. I'm sorry that he's doing so bad sweetie. I'm here if you need me. Dear Amanda W, it's been nice talking and catching up with you. We sure did have some fun/wild times back in the day. Now I'm scared of what I look like in those pictures. That was so long ago. We were still babies. Dear Rhianna, is that how you spell your name? Oh well, nothing personal, but may I say that song- Umbrella is so damn catchy! Dear Shylyn, no. He is not attractive. At all. Dear the haunting of Amelia movie, you sucked. Not trying to be mean, but I like bad movies and even I didn't like you. Sorry, but I'm not sorry. You had some potential, but something went horribly awry. Dear radio station (107.9), thank you for playing Sheryl Crow's- If it makes you happy. I forgot how much I loved that song. Love it. Dear Dani, I got the heaters paid for, the checks sent, and everything else that you asked. You better love me. Dear Netflix, I wish that you had the movie- The Holiday on you. I really want to watch it, because I've never seen it before. Furthermore, please get Cold Mountain too. Hello! Jude Law. Enough said. Dear Uncle Roger, thank you for lunch. I'm going to be 500 pounds by the time you're done. But thank you, I do appreciate it. Dear PB, you don't give a girl any notice whatsoever. You literally have not changed in the past five years. Just turn around and go back to the highway. P.s. I'm keeping that hat. You're never getting it back. Sorry, but I'm not sorry. Dear universe, I really am gonna die alone, because all I ever meet are weirdos and creeps. Is it so much to ask to drop a good looking/sweet fireman, soldier, musician, or somebody normal in my lap that is exactly how iI have it pictured in my head? Huh? Is it? Oh well, like I said, I'd rather be alone and happy than with somebody I don't like and miserable. It's all good, I just like to tease. Dear company Christmas party, you were fun and a lot much work. It's all good though, everyone seemed to have a nice time and got along. Don't think that I wasn't watching dude with the glass bottle though...cause I was. Sorry, but I'm a little paranoid when it comes to dude with a possible weapon. Can we say- prison?