Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Let's talk about last night between 10 pm-11:55pm.

As I've been talking about for a bit now, last night was the Season06 Finale of SOA. And oh my dear, was it amazing. Thoroughly jacked to Jesus, but amazing. It was almost two hours long, which means I didn't go to bed until around midnight and got up at ten til four this morning.... totally worth it! I try to go to bed at a reasonably decent hour for work, however September through December all bets are off!

Here's what went down: it starts out with Jax visiting Opie. He's writing in his journal, and contemplating his entire life. Past, present, and future. He admits that- "since my best friend was killed, I've lost my center." The entry is actually for Abel and Thomas, in which he signs off on it- "I love you, Abel. I love you, Thomas." He then rides back to town to figure things out. That poor bird never seen it coming. Jax ends up making a deal with Patterson that he would turn himself in as the sole culprit gun supplier and that all charges against his club and wife be dropped. That Tara be able to go free to raise their sons. He said he wanted to "own up to his place." This was brought on after Patterson dammit toyed with his emotions in the ice cream shop telling him- "you're a husband, a father, and a man before all of this, own your place." Of course, Jax got emotional. This deal means him being inside at least twenty-five years, with his record, maybe ten with good behavior, seven if he's extremely lucky. Wait, what?!!

He made this deal after finding Tara and the boys at Abel's favorite park. Tara was, of course, distraught, hello she ran off with his kids, and she began to talk to Jax about everything. I mean, everything. She told him she knew what he had to do, but at least she had tried to save their boys. Then she begged him not to hurt her in front of their boys, and asked if she could say good-bye to them. Jax looked offended. Like, really offended. And he should have been. I know people are all like Tara's just being a good mom, he's a horrible person, blah blah blah. Like he told her, she chose to stay through all of it. He told her to go, and she wouldn't. Everyone seems to forget that little piece of info. After saying that, Jax took her hand and told her- "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt them. You don't have to run, not anymore. Just be a good mother. save our boys." **insert Katie crying like a little bitch girl right here** That's when they went to the hotel room that Tara was hiding out in and made the deal with Patterson. It seemed like a happy ending. Tara would take care of the boys, be protected by the club and wait for Jax.... Jax would serve his time and still get to see a lot of his boys lives.... Patterson got her bad guy, and this was stamped in by Jax and Tara...well, you know. I mean, come on, we knew a "reunion" was coming and something had to solidify the happy ending. Right? Yeah, about that, it's Kurt Sutter's show, people. You should've known better.  

Nero kind of (but not really) dumped Gemma, and that on top of her grandsons being taken away, Clay being buried, and a million little other things she was a little.... distraught. What did she do to solve this little problem? Get drunk, of course! Been there, sister. Seriously ladies, isn't that always the answer? That's what we all really wanna do when things get us down. Unser finds her drunk at the house and tells her that Tara must have made a deal and that Jax is going to jail. This of course breaks her further and she steals Unser's truck and goes to Jax's house. Then Tara showed up, Eli stayed outside. I would just like to say, for the record, I may or may not have called Gemma "offing" Tara like seven minutes before it actually happened. How, not the specific way, but I wasn't far off. See the text message? It was beyond messed up, and when Eli walked in all- WTF?! And when he tried to call it in, in my mind I was thinking- where's Juice?! Then Juice showed up, because even though he screws up a lot, when it comes down to it, he's always there. Besides Juice loves Gemma like a momma and she's helped him a lot. He used to love Tara too, but then she had to go and screw things up. Anyways, Juice shot Eli and helped Gemma up and started hugging her. Even though it was really violent like three seconds prior, that was a beautiful moment. Is that strange? Then it cut off and when it showed them again Gemma was driving Unser's truck up to TM and she hugged him and laid her head on his lap while he stroked her hair. She is officially broken. And yes, it's wrong, but I feel bad for her and I'm still #TeamGemma (even though I do like Tara and am still kind of #TeamTara to, or at least I really used to, before she became all ratty and insane). Juice got rid of the murder weapons and stuff to cover for Gemma. **insert the homeless lady/f*cking mysterious chick I hope they explain this to me next season here**

Jax shows up at the house to turn himself in and sees Eli first, then Tara. He drops his gun, stares, cries and finally breaks completely down grabbing Tara, holding her, apologizing, running his hands through her hair, kissing her, crying and screaming in agony. Patterson and two other cops came in and Jax was oblivious to it. He was so distraught. It was beyond heartbreaking! For the fourth time, **insert Katie crying horribly right here, like little kid scared of clowns at the circus ugly crying.** By the way, Charlie Hunnam? Amazing actor!! Truly amazing!

Of course, other things happened to. Important: the guys all cried when Jax was saying his goodbyes, Bobby and Tig were emotional, but then Happy and Chibs?! That was heartbreaking. **Once again, insert Katie crying profusely right here** I was a big ole crybaby last night for two hours. Nero is "back in the game" with Alvarez. Jax told Juice that he betrayed him and then walked away. What?! Alvarez's crew shot three of August's guys and took their guns. Apparently homeless chick's daughter works at the ice cream shop now, and gave Jax a kiss and thanked him as she was leaving. It was cute. No one cares: Wendy went to rehab, but tried to find a way around it saying she didn't want to go until she knew Abel was safe. Really, Wendy? Really?! No one cares, go to Sober Living. A bunch of stuff about the gun business between Alvarez and August's clubs. And here we are left with about nineteen million questions. Now I have to wait nine whole months until next season. Nine months! That's a whole pregnancy, people! I'm just sad that it will be it's last. Thank you, Kurt Sutter. Like I always say, you never disappoint when it comes to blowing someone's mind. I thought you were actually in my brain last night. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but it was cool and emotional.

And just so I can be a little more emotional and cry a bit more.... I give to you Jax's journal entry that was written for his boys...."There are lessons to be found here, but mostly, I do this so you can know me. Lately, as I write these, I realize they are as much for me as they are for you. This is the one place I can be completely open. The pen and paper has no judgment. No vote. It simply receives my truth and allows me to turn the page. and today…. this is my truth. I am terrified a great deal of the time. Afraid of what I've done, of what I’m doing, and of what I might have to do. It’s not a crippling fear. in fact, it’s just the opposite. I thrive on it. I crave it. I need that rush of terror to get me out of bed in the morning. It’s in my DNA. I have tremendous remorse for the acts of violence I've committed, both planned and spontaneous. But I think what brings me the most sorrow is that I've learned to justify this behavior. I always find a reason, a cause, a need that allows me the karmic lubrication to stuff my guilt into its savage compartment. I've become the thing…. the one I hated. And with that awareness comes periods of days, sometimes weeks, when I have to avoid looking into a mirror. my self-hate is so deep, so palpable, I fear I’ll lunge at my own image, shatter the glass and cut myself with shards of broken reflection. Since my best friend was killed, I've lost my center. Ope was always my pull back to true North. Now my doubt and sense of fraudulence bark so loudly in my head that most of the time I can’t hear anything else. Love, camaraderie, freedom…. all the things I want from this life are lost in the din. Forgive my indulgence, sons, but today may be a day we both remember. a defining day. And I want you to look back at this entry and know that at the very least your father was completely honest. So you know I speak the truth when I tell you that you are the most important thing to me. I will never hurt you. Never abandon you. I love you, Abel. I love you, Thomas. More than anything or anyone. I always will. Everything I do is for my sons.” 

And for the last time in this post, **insert Katie crying.... again** Sorry, but I'm not sorry, it's sad dammit. To hear Kurt, Maggie, and Katey talk about Gemma brutally killing Tara, all about the rest of the season finale, and the series in general go here to watch Anarchy Afterword.