Here's what went down: it starts out with Jax visiting Opie. He's writing in his journal, and contemplating his entire life. Past, present, and future. He admits that- "since my best friend was killed, I've lost my center." The entry is actually for Abel and Thomas, in which he signs off on it- "I love you, Abel. I love you, Thomas." He then rides back to town to figure things out. T
Nero kind of (but not really) dumped Gemma, and that on top of her grandsons being taken away, Clay being buried, and a million little other things she was a little.... distraught. What did she do to solve this little problem? Get drunk, of course!
Of course, other things happened to. Important: the guys all cried when Jax was saying his goodbyes, Bobby and Tig were emotional, but then Happy and Chibs?! That was heartbreaking. **Once again, insert Katie crying profusely right here** I was a big ole crybaby last night for two hours. Nero is "back in the game" with Alvarez. Jax told Juice that he betrayed him and then walked away. What?! Alvarez's crew shot three of August's guys and took their guns. Apparently homeless chick's daughter works at the ice cream shop now, and gave Jax a kiss and thanked him as she was leaving. It was cute. No one cares: Wendy went to rehab, but tried to find a way around it saying she didn't want to go until she knew Abel was safe. Really, Wendy? Really?! No one cares, go to Sober Living. A bunch of stuff about the gun business between Alvarez and August's clubs. And here we are left with about nineteen million questions. Now I have to wait nine whole months until next season. Nine months! That's a whole pregnancy, people! I'm just sad that it will be it's last. Thank you, Kurt Sutter. Like I always say, you never disappoint when it comes to blowing someone's mind. I thought you were actually in my brain last night. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but it was cool and emotional.
"There are lessons to be found here, but mostly, I do this so you can know me. Lately, as I write these, I realize they are as much for me as they are for you. This is the one place I can be completely open. The pen and paper has no judgment. No vote. It simply receives my truth and allows me to turn the page. and today…. this is my truth. I am terrified a great deal of the time. Afraid of what I've done, of what I’m doing, and of what I might have to do. It’s not a crippling fear. in fact, it’s just the opposite. I thrive on it. I crave it. I need that rush of terror to get me out of bed in the morning. It’s in my DNA. I have tremendous remorse for the acts of violence I've committed, both planned and spontaneous. But I think what brings me the most sorrow is that I've learned to justify this behavior. I always find a reason, a cause, a need that allows me the karmic lubrication to stuff my guilt into its savage compartment. I've become the thing…. the one I hated. And with that awareness comes periods of days, sometimes weeks, when I have to avoid looking into a mirror. my self-hate is so deep, so palpable, I fear I’ll lunge at my own image, shatter the glass and cut myself with shards of broken reflection. Since my best friend was killed, I've lost my center. Ope was always my pull back to true North. Now my doubt and sense of fraudulence bark so loudly in my head that most of the time I can’t hear anything else. Love, camaraderie, freedom…. all the things I want from this life are lost in the din. Forgive my indulgence, sons, but today may be a day we both remember. a defining day. And I want you to look back at this entry and know that at the very least your father was completely honest. So you know I speak the truth when I tell you that you are the most important thing to me. I will never hurt you. Never abandon you. I love you, Abel. I love you, Thomas. More than anything or anyone. I always will. Everything I do is for my sons.”
And for the last time in this post, **insert Katie crying.... again** Sorry, but I'm not sorry, it's sad dammit. To hear Kurt, Maggie, and Katey talk about Gemma brutally killing Tara, all about the rest of the season finale, and the series in general go here to watch Anarchy Afterword.