Saturday, June 13, 2015

Since I can't be there on your wedding day.

(I jacked this picture of the two of them from her FB page- Sorry, not sorry).

Remember my little cousin- Arkansassy? She's getting married June 20, 2015. This is an open letter to her since I'm unable to attend her wedding. Thankfully, Momma, Aunt Poot and Shantel are going. They're all going to head out on Thursday evening (the 18th) and head on home the day following the wedding (the 21st). I wish that I could go with them, (road trips are the best), but unfortunately not all the time do things work out that way. I'm sending all of my love (and important members of my family) though!!

Dear Sweet Bekah,

Firstly, I would like to apologize for not being able to attend your wedding. Trust me when I say it is not from a lack of want. I truly wanted to be there, unfortunately life doesn't always go the way that you want it to. Don't let anybody fool you, being a responsible adult is hard. Even just being a regular ole adult is hard, but especially being a responsible one. I hope you understand and we'll all definitely have to set time aside and come down just for a random visit sometime. I know that it won't be your wedding day, but we'll make it fabulous in any event.

(Your Momma has assured me that she is sending pictures and a video from the big day my way. Don't put it past me to insist that it be re-enacted. Also, she should send food. Southern cooking is just better and anyone that says otherwise is woefully wrong).

I wish that I had some pearls of wisdom to give you. It would be nice to pass onto you advice regarding marriage, living together and blending your families into one. However, I have never been married, so there is really nothing I could offer you on that front. It would be like trying to tell a pilot how to fly a plane, I've never done it, therefore he would probably crash and burn. Because of this I don't plan on even attempting to tell you how it should go.

I will give you a little bit of advice though. What? I have some form of wisdom. My advice to you my dear sweet girl, is to be happy. I know that sounds plain and you're probably thinking- "Really?! That's all you got lady?!" But trust me when I say this is important. Anyone can claim to be happy and some are even fantastic performers when it comes down to it. But I'm not telling you to be the kind of happy that you think you should be. I'm telling you to be the kind of happy that you deserve. There's a big difference.

While I am not, nor ever have been married, I assume that the rules are pretty standard. You know the basics; it's your everyday common sense and rules your Momma taught you when you were growing up. "Treat others how you want to be treated", "Cheating is wrong no matter which way you look at it", "Talk about your problems" and "When things are tough, hold your head high and proud". I don't know if those actually apply to marriage, but if they don't they definitely should.

Now, with the two of you just graduating high school and heading off into the world independent and on your own, I'm sure that you've heard that grand ole saying- "You two are too young to get married, you've got plenty of time, what's the big hurry? Take things slow". I should probably be an adult about this and take all of those peoples side. I really should. But I'm not going to. Call it the eternal optimistic, hopeless romantic in me, but I'm just not going to agree with them. Don't tell anybody this, but I do believe in love. True love. The kind that puts butterflies in your belly, wandering thoughts in your head and a smile as wide as the countryside on your face. And while I believe all of this, I don't believe that it has an age limit. Sure, there are exceptions. Some think that they're in love and come to find out that it was a childhood crush or silly infatuation. But real love, it's there and you know for certain when it's there. When you find that whether you are young, elderly or somewhere in between, it's a beautiful thing. Love is not one of those constricting things, it comes in many different ways and it truly is a blessing. Besides, who wants to wait to start forever?

I'm not trying to get all heavy with you. I'm just trying to tell you some things that I've learned. And the biggest things that I've learned in my twenty-five years are this: You will always have doubts, there are going to be things in your life that scare you and there are circumstances that are out of your parallel to control. No matter how much you want to, you can't control everything. However, you do have a choice. And the choice you have is to be true to yourself. Do not let other people dictate your happiness.

You are your own person and you are plenty capable to make your own choices. You're a smart young lady Bekah, and you know what you're doing. And if you're doing it for all of the right reasons, then this is an amazing thing. If you have found your happiness, then you hold onto that and figure out the rest of it as you go. Remember when people said that you were too young? Well, good news, you are young. Therefore you have plenty of time to figure things out. You're going to screw up; Harrison is going to screw up. No one is perfect. But you can figure it out.

I just thought that you should know that I have no doubt in you. I believe that you're an amazing girl and that you're going to do miraculous things with your life. It's going to be hard and you're going to have self-doubt, but you're going to persevere. That's just the type of person that you are. I know this sounds crazy, but honestly you remind me a lot of myself when I was your age. Granted our lives are much different and I hope you don't ever repeat some of the mistakes that I have made. But I do see it. You have that same voice in your head, flare in your heart and glint in your eye. Luckily, you have better taste in men than me at your age.

With all of that being said, I would just like to finish by saying that I'm very happy for you. Congratulations!! This is amazing and you're going to have such a spectacular day (not just one day, but I'm referring to the actual wedding part). I wish that I could be there, but I send all of my love your way. You're going to make a beautiful bride. Why wouldn't you? You're already beautiful, flowers and fancy dresses are just going to amplify that. I love you.