Thursday, July 23, 2015

We haven't talked in a couple weeks and then you drop this on me?!!

There are times that Mo and I will go for weeks without talking. We don't feel the need to talk every single day, otherwise we might get on each others nerves. No, let me take that back, there's no might. We would DEFINITELY get on each others nerves. Which is hilarious, considering the fact that we used to be pretty inseparable. Even then we got annoyed, we just took it out on other people. (Sorry, dude, but somebody totally had to take the brunt of it that wasn't us. You were handy).

Mo and I- circa 2002/2003. (8th grade). Clearly, we were "cool". NOT.

But no matter how much time has passed, we always pick up right where we left off. There's no drama or confusion, at least not our own consisting of our friendship. We're like every other girl, after the important questions are out of the way- (i.e. How's the kids? How's the family? Are you ok? Do I need to make a trip to throttle your cheating, no good, lying ex boyfriend?) we get to the other stuff.

The gossip.

I fill her in on everything that I've learned, she fills me in on everything's she heard and somehow we bring all of that together in one big ole pot and sort through it until we know what's going on. It's a vicious circle, really. Somehow, even living out of state like I do, I tend to find out about the people we grew up with, I assume, because no one loves gossip quite like a small town, and what I don't know, she figures out and fills in.

I don't know why, but we always end up talking about the people we grew up with, were friends with or just randomly know. Mostly we don't remember how we met them. Weird. And we always have a ball while breaking out into the song- Scotty Doesn't Know. We know why that's funny though, we have a friend named Scotty and the poor guy is just always having shit happen to him, mostly without his knowledge.....until much later, that is.

But something has been going on with a former friend of ours the last few months and we just couldn't figure out what. Until now. Together with the bits of information we had separate, we put together the big picture. And it's a doozy.

You see, I've been noticing that our former friends wife has been leaving cryptic messages all over her social media the past couple of months, but had no clue why. Then I noticed that another one of our friends (also a guy) had new pictures up.....not with his wife. And while Mo and I have been trying to figure all of this out, the most logical thing that we could come up with was- Our two guy friends are totally hooking up with each other and they're just not telling, because they're friends with each other too.

Not exactly.

You see, the first guy friend that we suspected of getting a divorce (he totally is) has knocked up the wife of the second guy friend that we suspected of getting a divorce (he totally is too). The clencher? Dude #1's wife knows that he was cheating, but doesn't know with who. Dude #2 knows that his wife was cheating, but doesn't know with who. And also, doesn't yet know that his wife is pregnant.....with Dude #1's kid. And because of this Dude #2 is still hanging out with Dude #1 and Dude #1 doesn't want Dude #2 to know yet so he "can't bring it up in the divorce". Yeah, you heard me right. Not only is Dude #1 sleeping (and knocking up) Dude #2's (who has been his friend for years) wife, but he also wants to keep it a secret to help Dude #2's wife screw him over when they get a divorce.

With friends like that, huh?

And Dude #1 told Mo, but doesn't want her to tell Dude #2 (he made her promise not to tell him before he told her what was happening.....trickery) and even though her and Dude #1 are friends, she's also friends with Dude #2 (and they used to date). And she was going out with Dude #2 the other night and needless to say, she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I asked her if she was going to tell him and she said no, she promised she wouldn't.....but she didn't promise that she wouldn't hint to it and tell his cousin so that he could tell him. Smooth move, Mo.

I agree with her, he deserves to know, and Dude #1 should just fess up and come clean with Dude #2. I mean, you obviously don't care about hurting your "friend" at this point, right? I think that Dude #1 is just scared that Dude #2 will kick his ass (he can). Obviously, Dude #2 is by far a greater friend than Dude #1, right? And also, Mo doesn't want to be in the middle of it, Dude #1 kind of just shoved her in the middle of it and expected her to take his side, even though he's clearly wrong and being a douchebag. Don't worry Mo, I'm on your side.

Also, not gonna lie, I kind of hope Dude #2 somehow finds this and realizes who it's about, that way he knows.