I, like every other woman ever, have these random moments in my life where I think to myself- I really could stand to lose some weight. I think, I should diet, exercise, perhaps take up yoga and maybe even look into veganism. I'll definitely have to quit drinking alcohol and no more candy for me. And then I let these thoughts run their course through my brain and the outcome is always the same.
Yeah, I'm not going to do any of that.
You see, I have always had fluctuating weight. Not healthy I'm aware, but an ever present factor in my life. I'm at the largest that I've ever been, but I'm still not an unhealthy weight. I weighed 102 pounds for the better part of my life, but my weight has fluctuated from 86 pounds (Don't worry, I was sick) to 137 pounds (my current weight). And you know what? I'm ok with either. I look much bigger than I am, simply because I'm a solid 5 ft. (Get it? 5 foot at 137 pounds, solid? Ha. I crack myself up) and some of the time I catch people side eyeing me, but do you know what we always say to those people?
Bless your heart.
Besides I can't tell why they're judging me. There's no question that they are in fact judging me, but there's no telling what for. I mean, there are a range of things that it could be for. I like to give people options. It could be anything from my weight to the fact that my hair never looks brushed (probably because it hardly ever is). Or, it could be my amazing taste in over-sized bands shirts from the 70s/80s and my ability to uncoordinate them with my cutoff sweatpants. Also, I sometimes wear my house shoes out in public (What?! They're comfy!!) and go out without makeup quite often. I don't hide the fact that I eat all of the food that I find delicious and drink copious amounts of alcohol. I fully expect to see myself on one of those "People of Walmart" articles one of these days.
I just have better things to do than to care what they think. People always have something to say. I was just talking to a friend of mine today (Remind me to tell y'all about that one) and was reminded of the time that a friend of mines mom started hating me, because I wouldn't try to break him and his girlfriend up by using my sexuality. I know, I didn't want to be a home-wrecking hoe, how dare me.
The way that I look at it, as long as I'm happy, what does it matter? So, Joe Blow doesn't find me attractive or Nosy Rosy thinks I need to lose weight? Who the hell cares? Obviously, them, not me. I could care less. I like eating candy and fast food while watching unreasonable amounts of television and wearing sweatpants and old t-shirts. The only time I care about my weight is when I have to put on "real pants" for work. I used to take for granted the fact that I wore scrub pants everyday, but people shouldn't, because they're amazing. I put on "real pants" in the mornings and I'm like- I should lose some weight. And then that whole HA.....Ha......ha thought process hits me again and I quickly move it to the wayside to make room for all the things that I need to add to my Netflix list and the thought of delicious squared cinnamon/sugar doughnuts that are obviously made by a sorcerer.