Wednesday, February 1, 2017

The Mandela Effect.

Have you guys heard of this thing called The Mandela Effect? If not, I'm here to tell you about it and ruin your entire f*cking life. Why?! Mostly because when I heard/read about it, it ruined my entire existence, so in turn, I have to ruin yours.

I know, it's a vicious little cycle of assholery.

Or, something like that. Let me give you a little definition: Back in 2013 when Nelson Mandela passed away (may he RIP), people were convinced that he had actually died back in the 80s while he was incarcerated in prison.... they even remember watching his televised funeral. Except, no they didn't, because that NEVER happened.

In fact, he lived an impressive life after he was released in 1990, going on to be the President of South Africa from 1994-1999 and uniting his nation through the help of a rugby team (watch Invictus, people). He passed away in 2013 after suffering with a prolonged respiratory infection (he had respiratory problems the majority of his life). It was a sad loss.... one that many people had already thought happened decades before. EXCEPT IT DIDN'T.

After this little "phenomena" where people decided to argue with facts versus their memories, a study was done. At least, I think a study of some sorts was done.... the point is, people started looking into it. And you would not believe some of the shit that people have thought up as a collective group.

AND I'M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. (And also, people are blaming it on an alternate reality or time travel? I'm not opposed to that idea as much as I am that people who have figured out how to time travel can't think of anything better to do than some of this shit. #SaveJohnConnor).

I'm clearly a proud product of the 90s. I enjoy grunge and flannel, Winona Ryder is my idol, I miss the days of Surge and powdered Bubbalicious, and let me tell you, there is just something about Ethan Hawke.

I say this, because one of mine and my brother's favorite movies to watch while we were kids in the 90s was Shazam. If you're wondering what that is, it's a movie wherein Sinbad plays a Genie.... or does he?! You see, my brother and I both distinctly remember this movie and could even quote it.... the only problem is, IT DOESN'T EXIST AND NEVER HAS.

Ummm, excuse me?!

That's right, no such movie exists. Never has. People remember it and love it, but it DOESN'T EVEN EXIST. What in the hell is this nonsense?

See 20 examples of The Mandela Effect.

My brother and I are not the only ones with this little affliction. There are many people that remember this non-existent film. Just like there are a bunch of people that remember reading The Berenstein Bears growing up.... except the Berenstein Bears DON'T EXIST either. No, it's the Berenstain (stupid) Bears and it always has been. Four year old Katie would disagree, but what does she know? She was watching pretend Sinbad.

The funny thing is, I know things to be true that other people completely disagree with. I always knew that it was "Interview with the Vampire" not "Interview with a Vampire" and I knew that Curious George NEVER had a tail.... but, I didn't realize that Jiffy peanut butter has never existed and sure, I knew "Life was like a box of chocolates" not "is" but I had no clue that people thought that the Mona Lisa has been altered.

WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!! Wait until I tell my brother about Sinbad.