Friday, March 31, 2017

Our oven quit working like two weeks ago and we're getting a different one today, but I'm not going to talk about that at all.

Somebody sent me a text this morning that said "Happy Fri-Yay!" And now I'm pretty sure that we can't be friends anymore, because I seriously hate that. I don't know why, but I do. Also, a guy shared a post on Facebook this morning that said, "I may not be in Dallas, but I'm a Cowboys fan no matter where I am." I unfriended him immediately, because I don't have time for that kind of nonsense in my life.

Can you tell that I'm super irritated this morning? Not at anything in particular, but just in general. It's been raining for the last 15 hours or so, and while I usually don't mind, and even like it when it rains.... I was not geehawing with it on my way to work this morning.

Me + Rain + 6:00am darkness + not wanting to move this morning + not having enough caffeine and/or sugar = the Grumpy Cat version of Katie.

However, today is Friday (FriDAY NOT FriYAY), and I am leaving work at 2:00 this afternoon to run some errands and hide from the weekend and people early, so I am trying to perk up a bit and remember all of the things that aren't annoying me today.

So.... in the interest of living a completely honest life (ha!), I have decided to just go ahead and admit that I am a sarcastic asshole find my jokes way funnier than what they ever are. Seriously, I am one of "those" people that can't tell a joke or story to save their life, because they can't quit laughing in their own head (and out loud) long enough.

I don't know if my family and friends find this endearing and lovable about me.... or if they completely hate me for it, but either way, I'm old and set in my ways so they've managed to at the very least learn how to deal with it. (Side note: is twenty-seven really too young to be old and set in my ways? I think not.).

In fact, I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and somehow we managed to get on the subject of if I could pull off a beard or not. That's right.... a beard. And I'm pretty sure the whole thing got started, because he sent me a text to let me know that he met a guy at work that had a special comb/gel/balm/something for his beard and of course we were sarcastic about it, because he has had a full grown beard since we were like twelve or some shit like that.

And we weren't making fun of the guy or anything, but we did talk about the fact that there are plenty of trends these days that neither of us understand. I've always been a comfort over style type of gal (I prefer sweats, tees, and my boots above all else) and he's just a plain ole backwoods country boy.... needless to say, neither of us are exactly "trendy." And we're both (or at least, I am and I'm 98.6% sure he is) good with that.... so when someone throws a new "trend" at us, we're confused.

(Except I'm really loving the fact that "mom jeans" are making a comeback, because this gal right here- me- has a whole lot of booty to cover these days and "low rise" and "hip huggers" just ain't cutting it.... not that it ever really did).

Like, the fact that now men are growing beards (this isn't a new thing) and specifically decorating and/or using balm on them. Don't get me wrong, do what you want, but if you want me to explain why someone would want glitter in their beard and to hang ornaments from it, then I can't. As someone who participated in the god awful trend of "give me all the black eyeliner and glitter eye-shadow on the planet" in my teen years, I'm going to just put it out there.... we all regret it later.

Go figure, the one "trend" that I've ever participated in made me look like I should've been an extra on Showgirls circa 1995.