Friday, April 14, 2017

I was awake for over 50 hours.

While I would like to tell everyone that April has been a fabulous month (it has for the most part), and that everything has been 100% peachy keen since I last showed up around here, that would be just a bit of a fib.... fib, lie, whatever you want to call it. It's been pretty good, with one exception.... I had a toothache.

A TOOTHACHE THAT TRIED TO KILL ME.

I have two molars one the upper left hand side of my mouth that have been giving me trouble for about a year (it all started with a wisdom tooth and shit only went more awry from there). Yeah, I should've already had them dealt with, but for the most part once I took a few ibuprofen they didn't bother me again for weeks or even months. Plus, dentists are EXPENSIVE. And I am POOR AS SHIT.


However, this past week has left me with an entirely new love for dentist offices that understand your situation when someone calls and tells them that you have been in writhing pain for the last two days and may actually go jump in front of a bus if it doesn't stop.

Both of those teeth started screwing with me on Sunday afternoon (a little before Momma and I went and seen Beauty and the Beast.... more on that awesome movie here). I took some ibuprofen.... and it didn't work. So, I took some more ibuprofen.... that didn't work either. For the next two days I was in a searing amount of pain that only got increasing worse. I'm usually pretty decent when it comes to handling pain. I basically just want to be left alone until my body heals itself with the aid of whatever random med that I'm taking. This time, it didn't go down like that.

I kept getting chills on Monday and by the time I headed home from work I'm pretty sure that I had eaten a half bottle of ibuprofen and my jaw was throbbing so hard that it was actually jiggling my eyeball. I couldn't sleep that night (and hadn't slept the one before it either), and by four in the morning I had already text both of my bosses to let them know I wouldn't be in that day and that I was going to the dentist as soon as I could get in.

I got in at 9:00 that morning.... and didn't get to walk out until after noon. 

I had the two molars removed (they deserved to go, traitorous bastards), found out that I did in fact have a bit of infection in my jaw (hence the chills/fever), lost I swear half of the blood in my body, and get to take a full round of antibiotics and pain meds. Well, I won't take a full round of pain meds, I meant the full round of antibiotics.

Most people ask, "why would you just want your teeth pulled instead of fixed? it's a good tooth! what if you have to have dentures in the future?!" To that I say, it's NOT a good tooth if the only thing that it causes me is pain and agony.... get that little Benedict Arnold out of my head!! How dare they betray me like this!! I take great care of them and they still revolt against me.... now I know how Marie Antoinette felt (except she was maybe not very nice). If I have to have dentures someday, you know what? Who the f*ck cares?! If it means that I'm no longer in pain then sign me up yesterday. I am literally trained in everyday self/health care (being a CNA for years helps with that), I think I can handle some dentures.... I GOT THIS.

And while I would prefer not to have fake teeth, I'm also not above it. I've always taken really good care of my teeth, but no matter how many times a day I brush, floss, rinse, and no matter how many vitamins I take and calcium/potassium I eat/drink, my teeth are just super frail. I guess it happens, but that doesn't make it suck any less.

So, there you have it. I had to miss a day of work, be in the most pain ever for about three days (it hurt for longer than that, but the ridiculous amount of pain didn't develop until Sunday evening), play the game of "how long can you actually be awake before your body gives up?" game, spend three hours in a dentist office, have a panic/anxiety attack (when he numbed the inside of the very back tooth it actually cracked and he said I went into a little bit of "shock" from the pain.... it's not cool, I don't recommend it), and get to throw up consistently.

Why? Because antibiotics + pain meds + not being able to chew/eat (empty stomach) = nausea. Do you know how hard it is to throw up when you have two holes in your mouth and can't hardly open it? If not, just know, it's extremely difficult.... and gross.