If not, here we are anyways, because that show is damn good. And because it makes you ask the important questions like,
And in case you're wondering, just know, SPOILER ALERTS EVERYWHERE. Continue at your own risk (even though I usually always read spoilers when I'm watching a show, because why in the hell not?!).
Official Synopsis: As a new school year begins, the town of Riverdale is reeling from the tragic death of high school golden boy, Jason Bloom. Archie Andrews is still the all-American teen, but the summer’s events made him realize that he wants to pursue a career in music, not follow in his dad, Fred’s, footsteps- despite his forbidden relationship with Riverdale’s young music teacher, Ms. Grundy. With the weight of the world on his shoulders, Archie must look for a new music mentor and turns to Josie McCoy, but she is focused solely on her band, Josie and the Pussycats. Weighing heavily on his mind is also his fractured friendship with budding writer, Jughead Jones. Meanwhile, girl-next-door Betty Cooper is anxious to see her crush, Archie, after being away all summer on a writing internship, but she’s not quite ready to reveal her true feelings to him. And Betty’s nerves, which are hardly soothed by her overbearing mother, Alice, aren’t the only thing holding her back. When a new student, Veronica Lodge, arrives in town from New York with her mother, Hermione, there’s an undeniable spark between her and Archie, but Veronica doesn’t want to risk her new friendship with Betty. And then there’s Cheryl Blossom, Riverdale’s Queen Bee, who is happy to stir up trouble amongst the others even though she’s keeping a few secrets of her own.
My Thoughts: That shit escalated SO quickly. First things first, those twins are borderline gross, I'm just gonna put that out there. And that whole aura around them as they're walking to the river's edge? Totally should have seen some serious shit was about to go down. All of these girls are going to be fighting over Archie? I don't get it.... then again, I always liked the weirdos when I was growing up, so what would I know about the jock. Even the music teacher?! EWWW. Betty girl, forget Archie, y'all are better off as BFF's, for real. You can do better, he literally zoned out of you as soon as the dark haired chick appeared. Isn't there supposed to be a character of Jughead somewhere in this, where is he? There he is.... annnddddd.... I'm officially attracted to one of the kids from Big Daddy. Great. Luke Perry is old enough to play a dad? Like, not a young dad, but a regular dad? WHAT IS LIFE?!! Oh snap, that kid didn't drown, **half-heartedly singing to myself** somebody's gonna get in trouble. Also, River Vixens? Catchy name for a cheer squad. I LOVE KEVIN.
Jughead's Input: "Our story is about a town, a small town, and the people who live in the town. From a distance, it presents itself like so many other small towns all over the world; safe, decent, innocent. Get closer, though, and you start seeing the shadows underneath. The name of our town is Riverdale." ///// "By morning, everyone would be talking, texting, and posting about it. We’d all be feeling it. But the world around us had changed. Maybe forever. That Riverdale wasn’t the same town as before. That it was a town of shadows and secrets now. On Monday, the autopsy on Jason’s body would take place. And on Tuesday, halfway through fifth period, the first arrest would be made."
Episode (Chapter) Two: A Touch of Evil
Official Synopsis: As new details of Jason’s death begin to emerge, Archie pleads with Ms. Grundy to come forward with what they heard at Sweetwater River. Betty makes an effort to mend her friendship with Archie, but takes a different stance with Veronica, who is trying to make up for her actions. With rumors around her brother’s death running rampant, Cheryl deals with the pressure in true Queen Bee fashion, while tensions boil over when Jughead stumbles upon a secret Archie was hoping to keep hidden. Finally, plans for the annual fall pep rally move forward with a performance by Josie and the Pussycats and a special appearance by Mayor McCoy.
My Thoughts: Archie dude, you need to listen to Jughead and not that Grundy chick. And by chick, I mean, teacher and quit banging your teacher, because it's gross. TELL THE POPO, FOOL. I don't care how pissed off Betty is at Veronica right at the moment, revenge is not worth having to spend an allotted amount of time with Cheryl.... and the memory of her creepy/possibly incestuous relationship with her
Jughead's Input: "I think many of us, maybe the entire town, had been hoping against hope that somehow Jason Blossom hadn’t drowned on July 4th. That we’d come to school Monday morning, and there Jason would be. Or that we’d see him and Cheryl in a booth at Pop’s. But that was before the undeniable, irrevocable fact of his bloated, water-logged body, a corpse with a bullet hole in its forehead, and terrible secrets that could only be revealed by the cold, steel blade of a coroner’s autopsy scalpel, or the telltale beating of a guilty heart."
Episode (Chapter) Three: Body Double
Official Synopsis: After new information surrounding Jason’s death comes to light, Cheryl finds herself under a cloud of suspicion and forced to come clean about the last time she saw her brother. Meanwhile, Archie makes a tough decision that puts a major strain on his relationship with Ms. Grundy. Elsewhere, Betty decides to revive the school newspaper and asks for Jughead’s help in investigation Jason’s death. Veronica and Ethel work on exposing some of Riverdale High’s football players after rumors of a “shame book” begin to circulate. Finally, after getting grounded by his dad, Fred, Archie must figure out a way to make it to the Taste of Riverdale event where Josie and the Pussycats will be performing a song he helped write.
My Thoughts: Aw, Betty wants Jughead's help reviving the school newspaper.... and look at those little puppy eyes he's giving her. You know, Rebel Without A Cause Jughead may have just found his cause afterall. It's cute that he's pretending that he's thinking about this like he's not just going to say yes to Betty (I think somebody has a crush- and they should just date), even though he totally is. Calm down, Capote, you know you wanna. Veronica don't trust that jock, sweetie. **five minutes later** Told you. Ew, what is a sticky maple? That sounds gross. *Googles what a sticky maple is* OMG, DON'T EVER GOOGLE THAT AGAIN!! Hey, is that Barb from Stranger?! IT IS! These girls are out for blood.... and they win!! Damn Black Betty, calm down.... that might have even scared Juggie. But, you go!! Ha! #Justice4Ethel I love it. Am I the only one that just isn't into this Josie and the Pussycats subplot? Maybe if they were more entwined? Oh Jughead, you really are digging into my investigative journalistic heart.... tell those boy scouts what's what!! Oh shit, the scout saw Ms. Grundy's car there? Did he see Archie too? I love how Juggie can just keep the same emotionless face even though he knows shit is about to go down. Seriously Archie, STOP BANGING YOUR TEACHER.
Jughead's Input: "Guilt. Innocence. Good. Evil. Life. Death. As the shadows around Riverdale deepened, the lines that separated these polar opposites blurred and distorted. “I’m guilty,” Cheryl said in biology class, but of what?"