You can't talk us into shit just because we're bored anymore.

Being a woman in 2018 is strange. (And yes, I know we're only five days in, BUT I'm fairly certain that all my ladies out there will agree, because being a woman in 2017 was strange, as well).

We're somewhere between our "old fashioned" ways and "we can do what we want because we are women hear us roar!"

By old fashioned I mean, some women like having the role of mother, wife, and even "lady".... but society has managed to once again spin it around. You see, if you don't do those things half of society thinks low of you, because "a woman has a certain role" and if you actually like having that role in your life, the other half of society says that you are against feminism and that people like you are "the problem."

That's right. The same people that say "woman can do whatever they like because that's the world we live in now" are also the same people that condemn said women if they choose to settle into the more "traditional" role. Whether that's what you enjoy or how you feel, you're made to feel ashamed for it.

I'm probably the worst female on the planet, because I'm somewhere between "huh?" and "ugh" on a pretty consistent basis.... and I wake up with my eyebrows already on my face. (Another story for another day).

You see, I think that women getting to be equal and not be discriminated against solely on account of their gender is fantastic. And the fact that women have lobbied for this and spent their entire lives devoted to it should go to show that it has definitely been a struggle (they weren't called "suffragettes" for nothing). But like with all things in life, there are always struggles and sometimes things just aren't fair. That's why we have all of these amazing women (and men for that matter) trying to rectify this. And I think that's so amazing and I am so appreciative of it.

But.... I also think that if a woman enjoys her life of being a "stay at home mother" or "wife" or basically anything that people attribute to "old fashioned" then that's what she should be and do. Why would I want to condemn someone for their choice when the same people condemning them are saying "you can choose and do anything, there's no wrong answer" right before that? It just doesn't make sense to me.

Then again, there are things that are still happening and you're like, are we really still doing this shit? It's 2018 for f*cks sake.

I'm a fairly sarcastic person. I think what I think, and act how I act, but I was raised in the deep south and to say that my mouth has gotten me into some trouble would be an understatement. In case you're wondering what that means, it means women had a certain "role" to take part in. They were supposed to be prim, and proper, and were supposed to be the equivalent of "seen but not heard." Women were supposed to want to be a mother and a wife, supposed to take part in beauty pageants, not use foul language and to show up to church at least twice a week, if not more.

Well.... I was in one beauty pageant in my life and refused to ever take part in one again, because everything was uncomfortable and I almost puked everywhere while walking down the runway (and it was at a county fair). I've never wanted to have kids and the thought of being married makes me roll my eyes. I went to church when I was younger, but knowing what I knew about the people in town (it was a teeny tiny little holler town), it felt hypocritical after a while. Finally, one of the little ladies that I used to take care of in the nursing home used to tell everybody that I "had the face of an angel.... and the mouth of a sailor."

And that's just the way I am and I'm 100% ok with that. I have no problem with being myself and people either liking or disliking me for these qualities. I don't hurt people, I try to help when I can, and while I use sarcasm for every aspect of my life, when it's time to be serious, I am also serious.... but sarcasm is definitely my defining personality trait.

That includes when people say things that I either don't agree with, think are stupid, or makes me lose faith in humanity. Stupid shit like:

Office Guy: "Yeah, he'll be talking himself into some panties real soon." Me: "Not if he has game like his dad he won't."

You see what I mean with this? There are very few things that "outrage" me and this certainly isn't one of them, but it does make me continuously roll my eyes, because how are people still this much of a pain in the ass? As one of the very few female employees that work at my company, I hear plenty of things that people would put into the category of "guy talk" or "shop talk" that would probably offend most people. But I'm not usually offended, because as I said, I'm sarcastic and make crude jokes myself. In fact, I'm pretty damn hilarious.... like a female Dave Chappelle (just go with this).

I'm not trying to be one of those "you can't do that, but I can" kind of people. I'm just trying to explain myself in this day and age.... and doing a HORRIBLE JOB AT IT.

I don't think that I can be a "good feminist" because I like things that I think you're supposed to be against? Like, I make crude jokes, and watch action movies, I like it when guys give me their coat and hold my hand and bring me flowers and open car doors for me.

And I don't know if that's allowed. I don't know the "rules" and if there really are even "rules" to begin with. I want to feel like an empowered woman, and I want the amazing women around me to feel that too, and to be able to live their best lives with their best sense of selves, but I also want to be able to like the things that I do without trying to hide behind them, because of society's judgements. Because in the end, no matter what they're judging you for, it's still technically a judgement.... right?!

Basically, I want to be able to love the fact that my guy friend always gave me his coat when I was cold, but still be able to look at the guy in our office and be like, "Dude, you can't just talk us into shit like it's 1921. Women don't work like that. In fact, women have never worked like that, we just weren't aware there was another option for a while.We don't have to define ourselves by marriage, we don't have to be engaged at seventeen so we can have babies by eighteen. We don't have to be dependant on a man, because we're allowed to hold full time jobs and work just as hard if not harder than any man. You don't get to grab us or talk to us like you have all the authority, because no means no, asshole. We can run this shit just fine on our own, because you might have the parts, but we're more "man" than you'll ever be. We can handle our own shit. Also, f*ck you, we have Netflix now, which means that we can find other ways to be complacent in our boredom. BITCH."

Yeah, that. Just all of that.