I had to explain the concept of time to my brother. *insert confusion*

*while talking about the fact that I thought the clock in our hallway (it chimes out every hour and half hour) was running fast*

Me: I think the clock in the hallway is fast.

Brother: Oh yeah, it's four minutes fast. I set all of my clocks four minutes fast.

Me: .......... ??!?!!!?!??!! ..........

Brother: I set all of my clocks fast. I would set *points at the clock on our cable box* this one fast and the one on my phone fast if I could.

Me: ......... First off, don't touch any of our clocks or anything else for that matter. Second, why?

Brother: Because that way when I look at a clock or my alarm goes off I always have four additional minutes so I'm never late.

Me: ........... ?!!!?!?????!!!!?!?!

Brother: *rolls eyes* It's a trick, Katie.... duh.

Me: *looks at him like wtf for a few more seconds* You know that trick only works when you're not aware of it, right?

Brother: No, it always works. You're just not getting it. Let me explain it again.... *tells me the entire theory again*

Me: No.... it only works when you're not aware of it. Because if you know that all of your clocks are set four minutes fast, which you are because you're the one that did it, you know as soon as it goes off you have that "extra" four minutes. Meaning, you still procrastinate, make yourself late, and repeat that exact process over and over.

Brother: ...........  ?!!?!?!????!!!!?!?!?!!! ..........