“It’s not the length of time we knew someone that makes them so special. It’s what they brought into our lives.” –Sandra Kring

This past week (10/12-10/18), D and I made a trip to Florida to help out with and attend my FIL's (Dennis) Celebration of Life. The week was full of tears, laughs, love, understanding, questioning, and acceptance. 

Dennis was an amazing guy. The kind of man that didn't show up out of the blue too often. He was as firm as he was caring and once he had his mind set there was no turning him back. He stood true to his convictions and never faltered when it came to understanding and loving his family.

I've never met a man in all my life that was as stubborn and accepting as him. I know that makes absolutely no sense, but that's really the only way to describe him. When he had a thought or belief he held true to that but he was also able to see other peoples sides and accept that. Didn't mean he changed his mind or agreed with you at all. In fact, he'd argue with you until he was blue in the face and you were so exasperated you wanted to jump off a bridge. However, he was able to accept that people were going to live their lives how they saw fit and there was nothing he could do except offer advice, knowledge, and love.

And trust me when I tell you the man had more love to offer than any of us knew what to do with. 

I was very fortunate when I married D. I had heard horror stories my entire life about people and their in-laws never getting along. Some of the things people would tell me sounded completely unbelievable.

I knew I would never have issue with my MIL, because I love the woman like a second mother. I've known her since I was fifteen years old and she has always treated me as one of her own. Momma and her were good friends and I feel a peace and calm surrounded by love when I'm around her. No one could ever replace Momma in my mind or heart, but she has a way of showing me motherly love without trying to take the place of. She's honestly just amazing like that. 

However, when we got together I had only met his dad once (briefly when we were teens) and had never met his stepdad. I was nervous... but I didn't need to be. I have a unique relationship with each of his parents. Not unique in a bad way, but actually, quite the opposite. I'm completely comfortable and myself around them all the time. I never feel the need to hide myself or have fear that I'll say the wrong thing. His family has always just accepted who I am as a person and we've rolled with it. 

That was never more true than with Dennis. His big personality sucked you right in and he was your friend before you even knew what hit you. While expecting not to have much of a relationship with either of my FIL's, I found myself pleasantly surprised to realize that they weren't just "in-laws" they were family. My family. 

And my family is devastated over this loss.

It may sound cliché, but this is a loss that not only had we never seen coming, but also completely annihilated us. It rocked everyone of us to our core and we all feel it. No one more so than his wife and children. Because D and his siblings were never "stepchildren" to Dennis. He treated, thought of, and loved them like they were his own. And he did the same with all of us that happened to marry his children. 

My MIL lost her husband, best friend and love of her life and we all lost a father.

This past week was about celebrating his life and starting to heal as a family. People came from all over the country to say their goodbyes or share their memories and to say that our family is humbled by the outpouring of love and support that has been shown to us throughout this time, would be an understatement.

It's been hard and it's going to continue to be hard. Learning that this is your new normal after such a big loss is an overwhelming feeling. But we'll continue to go on together, and I know he'll always be hanging around watching out for us and rolling his eyes at the fact that us "kids" can't seem to keep our shit together.

We miss you, Papi. We love and adore the shit out of you and there's a giant hole in our lives now that you're no longer here. We'll continue to take care of each other and we'll keep a special eye on your honey bunny. Thank you for being the dad we all needed when we didn't even know it.

P.s... I know when we were talking to Trish on the porch this last week the only thing you could do was throw up your hands and holler "YOU KIDS ARE KILLING ME!" But, we tease out of love.