You're my very best friend- Happy Birthday, Momma!!

(All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother -Abraham Lincoln).

Truer words have never been spoken. Today my amazing Momma turns fifty-one, and because such a wonderful woman was born on this day, we celebrate. Here's to you, beautiful!! There hasn't been a day that has gone by in my life that you haven't been there for me, I can't even think of one. You have been there when I was happy or sad, when I was crying or laughing, or when I was in a range of emotions that no one could even begin to understand. Just another thing that I get from you. Thank you for always putting Greg and I first!! Words cannot even begin to describe how much I love you, but let me try.

To the friend: 

That fed me razzles and kool-aid, and didn't make me eat peas; tickled me until I couldn't stand it any longer, but didn't let others do it to me when she was around; never missed a school function for my brother, or myself, even when she was working or sick; sat through all of Greg's ballgames with me, in rain, sleet, hail, lightning, unbearable heat and freezing cold, just so we could cheer him and his friends on; and kept me laughing even when we thought there was nothing to be happy about, the one who tried to put a smile on my face, even when she herself was too sad to find joy. 

To the confidant:

Who held my hand all of those times that I was scared of the doctor; told me that I could do, or be, anything in the whole world, and believed in me no matter which path I decided to take, with the proudest look on her face that any one person could have; has never judged me no matter the mistakes that I have made; and cried from the day she put me on the bus for my first day of kindergarten, to when she stood up cheering, tears streaming as she watched me walk across that graduation stage. She was right, WE did it.

To the woman: 

Who convinced me that I could accomplish anything that I sat my mind to; has always told me that I was beautiful, even on the days that I felt the ugliest; seems to know everything about everything, and is usually always right; always told me that it was better late than never when I was upset about missing something; made my childhood magical by filling it with books, music, movies, and fun; and instilled in me the importance of kindness, compassion, and gratitude. 

To the mother:

That took care of me when I was sick; kept me from scratching more so I wouldn't have scars from the "chicky pops"; the one I look exactly like, and couldn't be any more proud of; who was both mom and dad, and did all that she could for my brother and myself; and has made me feel beyond blessed for the past twenty-five years just to have known her, and especially to be her daughter. 

And finally, to my Momma:

You have not only been a mother, but also a father, a best friend, a confidant, and a role model. Your character continues to amaze me even to this day. I am so lucky- and frankly blessed to have you as a mother. You are the best person that I know, and the best Momma any girl could ever ask for. All of my memories of us are irreplaceable.

You are my heart. Thank you for not only being a mother and best friend to me for the past twenty-five years, but for also for just being you. Growing up, I was blessed to have a mother who took care of me, made my childhood magical, was there as a friend as well as a mentor, and instilled in me the importance of compassion and kindness.

I am from a wonderful line of strong-willed, classy, hard-headed women, and I pray that I will be the same kind of mother as you if that day should ever come (but seriously, don't count on that happening). No matter what hills I climb or rivers I swim, you are there.

We have been through so very much together and continue to take whatever life throws our way- together. I am definitely my mother's daughter. You are my hero, always have been and always will be. It's an Honor to call you Momma!! Happy Birthday!!

Love you Forever and Always- Whole, whole bunches

-Puss

Fourteen years later (and still a million questions).

(This is one of the things that I will just never understand).

--Original article found here. I just added to, but wanted my facts straight, as this is a very important subject for not only our history as a nation, but also to the victims of this attack and all those affected by the tragedy. I take no credit for the original article or its content. Besides what appears in the original article, all writing and opinions are my own. Thank you.--

On this day fourteen years ago a tragedy struck our nation. In the early morning hours of September 11, 2001 there were four attacks that lead to the tragic loss of so many lives. Lives of good men, innocent children, and loving women. The lives of fathers, mothers, daughters, sons, wives, husbands, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, friends and co-workers. Lives that were cut far too short, far too soon. It's been fourteen years and we as a nation are still recuperating. After something like this tragedy happens, it begs the question-How do we recover? The answer is never simple, if there is even an answer at all. I'm not sure there is. I still haven't found it, and neither has any other person that I know of. All that seems to happen when it's brought up are more questions. People say that they have "moved on" from it, but have they really? Isn't it always somewhere in the back of their mind, closed up tightly in a box, waiting for its chance to spring back into your mind? Every year when September 11th rolls around, there are all those feelings again. Feelings of fear, anger, turmoil, sadness, and the ones that are there that there isn't even a name for, because no one can explain them. People tend to remember the events of a tragic day. Recalling everything that happened, who they saw, where they were, and sometimes even what they were wearing. Just small things that stay in your head. I remember.

On September 11, 2001, 19 militants associated with the Islamic extremist group al-Qaeda hijacked four airliners and carried out suicide attacks against targets in the United States. Two of the planes were flown into the towers of the World Trade Center in New York City, a third plane hit the Pentagon just outside Washington, D.C., and the fourth plane crashed in a field in Pennsylvania. Often referred to as 9/11, the attacks resulted in extensive death and destruction, triggering major U.S. initiatives to combat terrorism and defining the presidency of George W. Bush. Over 3,000 people were killed during the attacks in New York City and Washington, D.C., including more than 400 police officers and firefighters.

On September 11, 2001, at 8:45 a.m. on a clear Tuesday morning, an American Airlines Boeing 767 loaded with 20,000 gallons of jet fuel crashed into the north tower of the World Trade Center in New York City. The impact left a gaping, burning hole near the 80th floor of the 110-story skyscraper, instantly killing hundreds of people and trapping hundreds more in higher floors. As the evacuation of the tower and its twin got underway, television cameras broadcasted live images of what initially appeared to be a freak accident. Then, 18 minutes after the first plane hit, a second Boeing 767– United Airlines Flight 175–appeared out of the sky, turned sharply toward the World Trade Center and sliced into the south tower near the 60th floor. The collision caused a massive explosion that showered burning debris over surrounding buildings and the streets below. America was under attack.

The attackers were Islamic terrorists from Saudi Arabia and several other Arab nations. Reportedly financed by Saudi fugitive Osama bin Laden’s al-Qaeda terrorist organization, they were allegedly acting in retaliation for America’s support of Israel, its involvement in the Persian Gulf War and its continued military presence in the Middle East. Some of the terrorists had lived in the United States for more than a year and had taken flying lessons at American commercial flight schools. Others had slipped into the country in the months before September 11 and acted as the “muscle” in the operation. The 19 terrorists easily smuggled box-cutters and knives through security at three East Coast airports and boarded four flights bound for California, chosen because the planes were loaded with fuel for the long transcontinental journey. Soon after takeoff, the terrorists commandeered the four planes and took the controls, transforming ordinary commuter jets into guided missiles.

As millions watched the events unfolding in New York, American Airlines Flight 77 circled over downtown Washington, D.C., and slammed into the west side of the Pentagon military headquarters at 9:45 a.m. Jet fuel from the Boeing 757 caused a devastating inferno that led to the structural collapse of a portion of the giant concrete building. All told, 125 military personnel and civilians were killed in the Pentagon, along with all 64 people aboard the airliner.

Less than 15 minutes after the terrorists struck the nerve center of the U.S. military, the horror in New York took a catastrophic turn for the worse when the south tower of the World Trade Center collapsed in a massive cloud of dust and smoke. The structural steel of the skyscraper, built to withstand winds in excess of 200 miles per hour and a large conventional fire, could not withstand the tremendous heat generated by the burning jet fuel. At 10:30 a.m., the other Trade Center tower collapsed. Close to 3,000 people died in the World Trade Center and its vicinity, including a staggering 343 firefighters and paramedics, 23 New York City police officers and 37 Port Authority police officers who were struggling to complete an evacuation of the buildings and save the office workers trapped on higher floors. Only six people in the World Trade Center towers at the time of their collapse survived. Almost 10,000 others were treated for injuries, many severe.

Meanwhile, a fourth California-bound plane–United Flight 93–was hijacked about 40 minutes after leaving Newark International Airport in New Jersey. Because the plane had been delayed in taking off, passengers on board learned of events in New York and Washington via cell phone and Airfone calls to the ground. Knowing that the aircraft was not returning to an airport as the hijackers claimed, a group of passengers and flight attendants planned an insurrection. One of the passengers, Thomas Burnett Jr., told his wife over the phone that “I know we’re all going to die. There’s three of us who are going to do something about it. I love you, honey.” Another passenger–Todd Beamer–was heard saying “Are you guys ready? Let’s roll” over an open line. Sandy Bradshaw, a flight attendant, called her husband and explained that she had slipped into a galley and was filling pitchers with boiling water. Her last words to him were “Everyone’s running to first class. I’ve got to go. Bye.”

The passengers fought the four hijackers and are suspected to have attacked the cockpit with a fire extinguisher. The plane then flipped over and sped toward the ground at upwards of 500 miles per hour, crashing in a rural field in western Pennsylvania at 10:10 a.m. All 45 people aboard were killed. Its intended target is not known, but theories include the White House, the U.S. Capitol, the Camp David presidential retreat in Maryland or one of several nuclear power plants along the eastern seaboard.

At 7 p.m., President George W. Bush, who had spent the day being shuttled around the country because of security concerns, returned to the White House. At 9 p.m., he delivered a televised address from the Oval Office, declaring, “Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve.” In a reference to the eventual U.S. military response he declared, “We will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbor them.”

September 11, 2001: 

Good evening.

Today, our fellow citizens, our way of life, our very freedom came under attack in a series of deliberate and deadly terrorist acts. The victims were in airplanes or in their offices: secretaries, business men and women, military and federal workers, moms and dads, friends and neighbors. Thousands of lives were suddenly ended by evil, despicable acts of terror. The pictures of airplanes flying into buildings, fires burning, huge -- huge structures collapsing have filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness, and a quiet, unyielding anger. These acts of mass murder were intended to frighten our nation into chaos and retreat. But they have failed. Our country is strong.

A great people has been moved to defend a great nation. Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve. America was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining. Today, our nation saw evil -- the very worst of human nature -- and we responded with the best of America. With the daring of our rescue workers, with the caring for strangers and neighbors who came to give blood and help in any way they could.

Immediately following the first attack, I implemented our government's emergency response plans. Our military is powerful, and it's prepared. Our emergency teams are working in New York City and Washington D.C. to help with local rescue efforts. Our first priority is to get help to those who have been injured, and to take every precaution to protect our citizens at home and around the world from further attacks. The functions of our government continue without interruption. Federal agencies in Washington which had to be evacuated today are reopening for essential personnel tonight and will be open for business tomorrow. Our financial institutions remain strong, and the American economy will be open for business as well.

The search is underway for those who were behind these evil acts. I have directed the full resources of our intelligence and law enforcement communities to find those responsible and to bring them to justice. We will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbor them. 

I appreciate so very much the members of Congress who have joined me in strongly condemning these attacks. And on behalf of the American people, I thank the many world leaders who have called to offer their condolences and assistance. America and our friends and allies join with all those who want peace and security in the world, and we stand together to win the war against terrorism.

Tonight, I ask for your prayers for all those who grieve, for the children whose worlds have been shattered, for all whose sense of safety and security has been threatened. And I pray they will be comforted by a power greater than any of us, spoken through the ages in Psalm 23:

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil for you are with me"

This is a day when all Americans from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace. America has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time. None of us will ever forget this day, yet we go forward to defend freedom and all that is good and just in our world.

Thank you. Good night. And God Bless America.

-George W. Bush, following the attacks on our country

Operation Enduring Freedom, the American-led international effort to oust the Taliban regime in Afghanistan and destroy Osama bin Laden’s terrorist network based there, began on October 7. Within two months, U.S. forces had effectively removed the Taliban from operational power, but the war continued, as U.S. and coalition forces attempted to defeat a Taliban insurgency campaign based in neighboring Pakistan. Osama bin Laden, the mastermind behind the September 11th attacks, remained at large until May 2, 2011, when he was finally tracked down and killed by U.S. forces at a hideout in Abbottabad, Pakistan. In June 2011, President Barack Obama announced the beginning of large-scale troop withdrawals from Afghanistan, with a final withdrawal of U.S. forces tentatively scheduled for 2014.

The one where I finally got my tooth pulled.

(And looked like a complete reject).

It was a week long process of getting my tooth pulled and while I'm usually a very understanding and sensible person when it comes to all things pertaining to the medical field, this time, not so much.

(You can read about my initial reaction to the dentist here and the follow up to it here).

Now, did I over-react to begin with? Did I maybe take it too far by waving to people using only my middle finger and call people- Bitch- a bit too much? Yeah, no. No, I didn't. I was being perfectly reasonable and all of those people still suck. I would like to give them a pat on the back..... with a chair. But I digress.

The idiocy didn't stop there. I did actually get my tooth pulled on Thursday afternoon and was in the dentist for two and a half hours. TWO AND A HALF HOURS FOR ONE TOOTH. Granted, I did also have the tooth in front of it filled, but the dental assistant did all of that in a matter of fifteen minutes, so fine- TWO HOURS AND FIFTEEN MINUTES FOR ONE TOOTH.

But finally after those two and a half hours at the dentist office being pulled, pried and pinched on, the tooth was out and I only remotely wanted to cut the right side of my head off. My dentist told me to finish off my antibiotics and pain meds (because according to her I would severely regret it if I didn't) and sent me on my merry way with another prescription of pain meds (that I didn't get filled, because I didn't feel like I needed to). My jaw was nice and swollen and the hole in the back of my mouth is giant to say the least.

She was right, I thought that I could go without pain meds on Friday morning, I didn't want to take them at work (and immediately regretted it), but Dani eventually told me to just take some, because we were going home early for a three day weekend anyways. (Not to mention we had to go see our aunt in the hospital on our lunch break- don't ask- so we weren't in the office for real long).  

Therefore, I finished off my antibiotics and pain meds (and might have had adverse affects from the latter and started reciprocating the innocent flirting from a friend of mine on the phone) and I feel better than I have in weeks. My jaw is still a bit stiff and sore (probably from where she held my jaw to the point of dislocating it and hitting my front teeth with the forceps- no I'm not kidding), but nothing like it was. I guess we'll count this as a win?!

Who would've thought that I'd miss someone calling me a punk so much?

"Oh, take your time, don't live too fast.
Troubles will come and they will pass.
You'll find a woman and you'll find love.
And don't forget, son, there is someone up above."
                                   -Simple Man, Lynard Skynard 

I had a dream about Corey the other night. And I don't even remember the entire dream, but at some point I woke up and was completely pissed off at him. Pissed off to the point that I picked up my phone to call him and give him a good cussing at two in the morning. And then I remembered, I can't call him. And no matter how much I want to, I can never call him again.

And I don't know which emotion was stronger at that point. I don't know if sadness outweighed my anger. Or if my anger outweighed my sadness. I just don't know. I never went back to sleep after that, I just laid there and replayed our entire friendship in my head. And there were years upon years to go through, and memories from the deepest part of my brain to come front and center.

When I was around eight years old I was a pretty quiet kid. I didn't get into a whole lot of trouble, I didn't even really go to my friends houses a whole lot. I pretty much just stayed home, did my chores, read and minded my own. I had friends, but they didn't really come over to my house a whole lot either. My brother however, had his best friends at our house at all times. Mostly Johnathan. Those two were inseparable from the day they met. But then one day he brought home another friend. And that friends name was Corey.

And he was beautiful. And I'm not being weird about it, but I am being sentimental, because he really was. He just rode the bus home with us one day, and while I didn't talk to him, because I was too shy, he came home with us. And then he lived with us on and off for the next seven years. And I know that sounds strange as hell, and maybe it was, but to us it was perfectly fine.

Him and Greg shared a room and he went everywhere with us, even driving up to Indiana on a long holiday weekend for a family get together. Afterall, he was family to us. And on that particular trip we got stuck in traffic on the interstate for somewhere around three hours, the heat was so ridiculous and we were all miserable. You see, we didn't have air conditioning, we had windows. The boys were luckier than the rest of us, they got to take their shirts off. And since I was sitting in the middle of them I got to be even hotter than usual and try not to look in Corey's general direction, because hello he wasn't wearing a shirt. That lasted for all of an hour and the heat finally got to us and next thing I know I was waking up. I had fallen asleep on him and my face was officially stuck to his chest from sweat. I know, we were just real attractive.

Another time Momma and I drove to one of their football games (we went to all of their games) and didn't realize that it was almost in Alabama until we had been in the car for three damn hours and finally pulled into the home teams parking lot. The boys had to ride the bus to the games, but they could ride home with their families if it was a far away game. We stayed for that damn game, with it thundering, lightning and pouring freezing rain, until they finally called it at halftime. We all loaded in the car and started making the trek back home. I was so cold that I couldn't feel my toes or hands, so Corey (who's legs I always had to sit on, because we had a small car) wrapped me into his sweatshirt, took my shoes off and tucked my feet into his jersey with him and held my hands in his hands trying to make me as warm as possible. And once I got warm and he asked me if I was warm enough we went back to sitting normal.

Just kidding, I totally lied and said that I was still cold so he would keep holding me and the following Monday I told all of my friends that he held my hand the whole way back home. I left out the whole "it was for survival and he was trying to help" part. They didn't need to know that. Besides, I only had like three friends and they thought he was cute too and cussed me over it. Haters. (P.s. We all got bronchitis or sick from that and my feet were dyed blue from the rain and my shoes).

And I say all of this, but there are so many other things to say. And so many more memories to continue with. But no matter how much or how many times I talk about it, I could never convey to you about how awesome he was and how much he meant to my family. And to me. He meant a great deal to more people than he will ever know. It's been a little over a year and I still miss him. I reckon I always will.

So, to you my dear old friend I say- You're still a punkass. But you're a punkass that I miss being able to check in with. Don't worry, you're still my favorite. Love, Katie "Ruth".  

You need to check out. Bitch. (Scene Two).

(I hate having a damn toothache).

Last Wednesday I wrote a post that wasn't very nice. I cussed people and called them all unhelpful idiots, and was waving to them using only my middle finger. Do I want to apologize for it? Hell no, I meant it. All of it.

However, I didn't get the tooth pulled last Thursday (my actual appointment day). I went to my appointment and they took X-rays and informed me that my problem is actually two of my back teeth (TWO) and that the very back one had nerve damage with a plethora of infection on top of it. Hence the pain. Therefore, they couldn't pull my tooth because A: I wouldn't stay numb enough, long enough, because the infection would eat the novocaine and B: If they pulled it with all of the infection on top of the nerve damage, it could spread to all of my other teeth. That just doesn't sound pleasant.

So, I was given antibiotics and pain meds and told that I had to be on the antibiotics for a week. Lovely. You know, because antibiotics don't make you feel gross. I haven't taken all of the pain meds, because I figured if I don't need them, don't take them "just because". That's how people build up a tolerance and then when you need them to help, they don't.

I'm not saying that my mouth still isn't hurting, because it is. It has continued to hurt this whole week, but it just hurts, it's not so excruciatingly painful that I want to chop the entire right side of my head off. So, you know, silver lining. I've just been eating my antibiotics and ibuprofen like they're candy.

But today is the day that I go back to have it dealt with. My back tooth is being pulled and the one in front drilled and filled. I'm having it done this evening, but it shouldn't take too awfully long, and she said it'll hurt more, because of the nerve damage, but it would feel a whole lot better by probably Sunday. And even though I have to work tomorrow (I was kind of hoping to just sleep in and take pain meds when needed while in sweatpants and watch- Peaky Blinders), it won't be so bad, because after tomorrow I get three days off (Labor Day weekend). Wish me luck.