Monday, February 24, 2014

People are nicer when I look like a Hobo Batman

I wore my hobo hat and my Batman shirt on Saturday. And by my Batman shirt, what I really mean is- Greg's Batman shirt that he's NEVER getting back. Like, ever. It's officially my new favorite shirt in the entire world. It's because people are so much nicer to me when I wear it into public. People who I could walk by every day, that have never even glanced in my general direction let alone made conversation with me, are all of the sudden nice. Is it true? Is that the power of 'The Batman'? I mean, after Ben Affleck plays Batman I don't know how everyone will feel about it, but for now- I. Am. Awesome. Perhaps I should explain a little more so you don't feel the need to lock me up in the bin. You know what I'm talking about.

{{I'm a horrible blogger, because I didn't anticipate on writing a post about my outfit for last Saturday, so I only have a partially decent picture of me wearing the Batman shirt and glasses (only partial hoboing), but on the bright side- TAYDER is in it looking LIKE A BOSS}}

On Saturday I woke up early, because apparently when it's possible for me to sleep in, the clock in my head decided to go into warped speed and is all- You are NOT sleeping, wake the $*#% up. I don't know what it was about that particular day, but my eyes decided to be even more screwy with me than usual. So I hopped in the shower, and because I couldn't see had to "mime" my way through it. Do you know how difficult it is to shower when you can't see a damn thing? Well, let me just tell you it's hard. So after I mimed my way through it I found my glasses and had to wear them ALL weekend, because like I said- BLIND.

I decided to wake Momma up, because I'm selfish and wanted company, to see if she wanted to get out of the house and go have some lunch later. She indulged me, because frankly I looked a bit pitiful. I was to lazy tired to fix my hair or put on any more make-up than a little foundation to cover the red spots, so I just tucked all of my hair into the green hat that Aunt Susi made me and went on my merry little way. Sweatpants, flannel shirt, black jacket, green hat with all my hair tucked in, and my glasses. I looked like a real hip hobo. Not my words. I guess I had an Olsen twin thing going on. We did some things and when we went to lunch the waiter was really friendly. Like extremely friendly. Nice guy. Momma thought that he was "hitting" on me, but I disagree. I think he was trying to figure out if i really was a hobo or not. Whatevs. The point is, he was incredibly friendly.

We went home and I changed out of the flannel shirt, because- HELLO, it was so warm and lovely compared to what it has been. I was too lazy pre-occupied to go downstairs to get one of my own shirts so I just pulled one of Greg's out of the closet and put it on. Besides I love Batman too. Well, we ended up having to go to the grocery store and did I change? Hell no, I put my jacket on and went on skipping to my Lou. Not really. While in the grocery store walking down the canned vegetables I looked down and realized that I hadn't changed. When I walked back to the cart I looked at Momma and said- I just realized that I am a grown @$$ woman wearing a Batman shirt in public and laughed. The guy behind us heard me and said- Hey, there's nothing wrong with that, it's hot, and besides it matches my ninja turtle belt buckle. Y'all might think that sounds dumb, but let me just tell you- y'all it was love at NERD sight. He's probably married or way younger than me, but I don't care, in my imagination we are doing all of the awesome things that I think that a boyfriend should do with a girlfriend. Yep, in my imagination we are in nerd love. Kidding. Kind of. After the grocery store we stopped by the gas station and the girl working there continued to talk to me for ten minutes on how great my shirt was and how awesome I looked in it. Needless to say- Greg, you are NOT getting that shirt back. It's mine now. Sorry, but I'm absolutely not sorry. Not even a little bit. Like I said, people are way nicer to me when I look like a Hobo Batman. By the way, Aunt Susi informed me that she would absolutely NOT go out into public with me while I looked like a hobo. We'll see Aunt Susi. We shall see.