Tuesday, October 11, 2016

My new favorite social media thing.

(Facebook stalking is kind of my jam right now).

I'm not the only person out there that "stalks" people via social media.... right?! I can't be. In fact, I know that there are at least two of us, because Dani's "FB stalking" skills are so on point that I swear she could work for the NSA or something.... but, I digress.... mostly because I don't know if you're even allowed to talk about the NSA without being in it, or even when you are in it, but now I've said it twice and there's no going back.

A little bit ago I wrote a post about a girl that just needed to cut her losses and call it a day with the guy that she's seeing. A lot of people emailed and text to ask if this was actually a clever attempt at asking for help in getting out of my relationship. So, to those people I say, ARE Y'ALL CRAZY?! I clearly know that guy is a douche and therefore could have already made that decision. Also, I'm not in a relationship (unless you count tv, alcohol, and poor decisions).

Just wanted to clear that up. Why? Because I have another story about another girl/her cousin (I should stop, but let's be honest, it's a shit show that you just can't look away from). Seriously, y'all are gonna love this one. Keep in mind that they are NOT married and between them they have six kids.... but don't worry, none with each other.

Her profile: "I didn't want to get off the phone with him last night, he's so perfect!! I miss you so much, babe!! I can't wait to see you and have you hold me in your arms!! I love you!! I love my husband, he's my happy place. I swear, I'm gonna marry you one day!! I don't care what all of these people say, I know that we're going to be together the rest of our lives, and have babies together. My husband, my everything!! I love you, babe!!"

So naturally, I had to click on his name (she tags him in every post) to see what this guy was all about. I couldn't help myself and you know you would've done the exact same thing. What kind of guy inspires this kind of devotion? Surely, he would be the thing of dreams and the answer to prayers.... right?!

His profile: "Single. F*ck bitches, get money."

Yeah, you read that right. As soon as I read this, I busted out laughing. And once Dani asked what was so damn funny, I had to repeat it and she laughed to. And I'm not saying that having your feelings hurt or something like that is funny, because it's not. Having your heart "broken" is everything, but a laughing matter.

..... However, you guys have to give me the whole completely off guard hilarity. It was a real good laugh. (I'm still cracking up). And, don't worry about her too much, she's already moved on and found her next "true love" (lucky for her, it's her sixth one this year). He's a real lucky guy and clearly doesn't know what he's getting into. I would warn him, but he seems about as stable as her.... and you just can't cap that kind of crazy.