Wednesday, March 1, 2017

My brother is about to be a dad. (Part I).

This morning at 5:30am they (you know, the medical professionals) are inducing my brothers girlfriend. He's extremely excited and completely nervous all at once. He's been through this once with another girl (who happens to be a friend of mine), but they broke up and since the baby technically wasn't his.... you see where I'm going with this?

My brother has wanted to be a dad for as long as I can remember.

He has talked about having kids since we were kids. Our roles have always been kind of reversed in that way.... I have never wanted to be married or have kids. I've never had "that" dream, and I make no apologies for it. I think that some people are just good kid people and some aren't; some people are good at marriage, but it's not always for others. I've always been looked at with a sideways glance from people, because I'm a woman, aren't I supposed to dream of all of these things?

The answer is no, it's just not for me. But.... my brother? He's always wanted to be married and have a house full of kids. He's been searching for the right woman to start a family with for years.... unfortunately, while he's been searching for the right girl, he's went through quite a few duds (don't we all?). He's never been one to put much forethought into anything, he's a "let the road take you where it may" kind of person. Whereas, I am a "let the road take you where it may.... but if there's a bridge washed out by rapid waters ahead, give me a little heads up" kind of person.

The girl that he's with now already had quite a few kids when they got together, and now they are about to have one more. They tried back in April 2014, but as these things go sometimes, it apparently wasn't the time. It's crazy to think about my brother being a dad. I know that he'll do well, but it doesn't make it any less crazy to me.

You see, my brother is 3.5 years older than me.... but for many reasons, it's always kind of been like I was the big sister instead of the baby one. To me, I'm the "baby" sister. I should've been able to be crazy as a teen and call my big brother to get me out of a jam, because I didn't want our parents to find out. He's supposed to be protective and I should be able to lean on him in times of need.... however, those roles have been reversed our entire lives. In fact, it's never been any other way and I wouldn't even know how to go about doing it if it was switched up.

I've always been kind of a level-headed (for the most part) person. I slack with things in my life (#introvert), but never with my responsibilities. I've held a full time job since a little before I was fifteen and I made sure to study so I could do well in school. I did very little "partying" as a teen and in my early twenties, and never went anywhere without people I knew (#trustissues), but then, again, there's my brother.

He trusts everybody and always looks for the good in others. There are times that I envy that mindset, but I never second guess myself. He always tells me: "Katie, you don't trust people, you always see the worst in them." And then I have to reply with: "that's because people are literally the worst." We don't agree on a whole lot, but the fact that I'm cynical, we do.

I've always had his back, even in the times that I probably should have let him get his ass kicked. I've always been the "baby/big" sister. And now, my "big/somehow I think of him as a baby" brother is about to be a dad.

A legit dad.

I didn't take off work to go to the hospital (am I a jerk for that?), but there are people there and we're going after I get off of work. (Momma and Poot will probably go sometime this morning too). And I guess, depending on how long it takes, I'll be meeting my new nephew this afternoon. Oh, did I forget to mention that? They're having a boy.