My thoughts on the first season of Riverdale. (Part IV).

We are pulling into the home stretch my friends. How am I even making this into so many posts? It literally took me two nights to watch the first season of this show (#NetflixBingeWatching). And yet, here we are.

While I admit that this is probably ridiculous and that I should've maybe never even started this.... I've never been known for taking the easy way out of for not doing dumb things. Hey, you win some you lose some.... right?! Nevermind, just go with it.

Read about Part I here, Part II here, Part III here, and now we're onto Part IV.

Episode (Chapter) Ten: The Lost Weekend

Official Synopsis: When Fred decides to finalize the divorce with Archie’s mother, Mary, Archie hides his true feelings. Archie tries to win Valerie back with a romantic evening, however, Betty hijacks his plans when she decides to throw Jughead a surprise birthday party. Once Cheryl learns of the party, she decides to make it interesting and things quickly get out of control. Meanwhile, Veronica contemplates whether she should participate in the deposition to help get her Dad released.

My thoughts: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JUGHEAD!!! I mean, I kind of feel about Veronica and her dad like I do about Josie and the Pussycats.... like, I'm not going to stop watching because of them, but I'm also not really into it either. Archie, you told Betty that it was Jughead's birthday?! He's going to be SO pissed off. I love that everybody keeps referring to Betty and Jughead as boyfriend/girlfriend and they are the only ones that won't admit it until the very end.... really Juggie?! Gonna go down swinging.... alright. I love that Jughead and Betty went to the movies for his birthday (An American Werewolf in London!!). Fred, don't leave town, bro.... this "birthday party" is gonna get so out of hand. Annndddd.... it's out of hand. Jughead is pissed, Betty is upset, and Archie is LIT THE F*CK UP. Get over yourself, Valerie.... Archie is trying to talk to you, not accost you and throw a fit like you are clearly doing right now. Juggie thinks he only has two friends? He has more than two friends.... KEVIN IS TO YOUR FRIEND, JUGHEAD. Seriously, you're gonna be that big of a douche, Jug? Fine, but you're gonna feel bad about it in about two seconds.... told you. Ugh, Chuck. You might call everybody out on their "dirty little secrets" Chuck, but you are also the dude that was lying about hooking up with girls in really gross ways when you weren't so I feel like you still earn the biggest loser title. OH SHIT!! Juggie knocked the f*ck out of Chuck! I mean, he got a hit back, but DAMN.... and the FP threw Chuck out and made everybody go home. Boom. No Juggie, you don't need FP to give you any tips on your right hook.... that bitch went down like a sack of taters. Hang up the phone, Drunk Archie! This is all Cheryl's fault. Listen to FP, Jug.... go talk to Betty.... at Pop's.... and tell her about how you have layers so you guys can bond and kiss and be even more adorable than you already are. FP knows Alice.... sounds feisty and like good ole times. Oh snap, Archie is gonna hook up with Veronica now? That boy has too much damn energy. I love that they both fell asleep and the next morning when Veronica tries to sneak out Jughead catches her.... and immediately they have a "I won't say anything, because you really are my friend" moment.... I told you that you had more than just two friends, Jug. Fred brought Archie's mom back? Is that Molly Mother-F*cking Ringwald?!

Jughead's Input: "Weekdays, from 8:25am to 3:01pm we adhere to a strict regimen. Everything in our lives is controlled, but then something like the murder of Jason Blossom happens and you realize, there is no such thing as control, there is only chaos. Nevertheless, some of us strive to impose and maintain order, in what is, fundamentally, an orderless world. A fact which would very soon be confirmed, in ways none of us could have foreseen."

Episode (Chapter) Eleven: To Riverdale and Back Again

Official Synopsis: Betty is slammed overseeing Homecoming and Reunion weekend, but Alice wants her help with the Jason Blossom investigation. Alice turns to Archie and Veronica for help, but when Betty discovers they are working with her mom, she is not happy. After seeing his father, FP, start to clean up his act, Jughead wonders if it’s the right time to give him another chance. Cheryl and Polly have both decided to go to Homecoming in Jason’s honor, until a revelation waylays their plans. Meanwhile, Fred and Mary attend the Homecoming dance, leaving Fred to possibly reconsider the divorce.

My thoughts: Molly Ringwald/Archie's mom is not only named Mary, but they expect me to believe that Andie Walsh Mary and Dylan McKay Fred were kind of highschool sweethearts? I don't buy it. Aw, Juggie is stopping in at his dad, Billy Loomis FP's trailer.... and it's clean? And he's sober first thing in the morning? And he shaved? And they are just gonna talk about Jughead's manuscript?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?! Juggie has so much hope for the future now. Shut up, Veronica! Maybe mind your own business and deal with your shady ass daddy before you go poking around with other people's. Cheryl is just going to bring Polly as her date to the homecoming dance? Because it should've been Polly and Jason there in the first place? Ok.... I'm just gonna let that one go.... but only because Polly stumbled upon Clifford Blossom in a wing of their house (how rich do you have to be before your house starts having wings?) and he has a billion red wigs.... I don't trust him. Cheryl and Polly found the ring.... and now Cheryl is tripping again.... and the mom drugged Polly with a milkshake.... what. the. f*ck. Cheryl did NOT flush that ring and if y'all think she did, you're dumb. Alice just invited Juggie and Billy Loomis his dad over for dinner without asking Betty? She's up to something.... but Juggie is excited and Betty can't let him down! Did anybody really think this this dinner was gonna go good? Betty is 100% the f*ck over it and they are going to the dance.... look, I'm glad y'all are doing better, but you CANNOT move Jughead to Toledo, Billy FP. Damn you, Archie and Veronica.... y'all shouldn't be doing all this shit.... Jughead is gonna be pissed off and we JUST ESTABLISHED that y'all are friends. Look at Fred walking into that homecoming dance with Mary AND Hermione. Like. a. Boss. Betty caught y'all!! And now Jughead is mad at her too?! Oh come on, she didn't know and tried to stop shit before it happened.... yeah, he doesn't care, he's pissed: “to think I was going to pass on moving to Toledo with my family for you,” she loves you dammit, Jug!! LET HER LOVE YOU. She didn't do anything wrong! Annndddd.... now Billy Loomis FP has been arrested for Jason Bloom's murder. There was NOT a gun in that lockbox when Archie and Veronica were snooping in his trailer. Where is Jughead going? Omg, he's crying and I can't take it. Seeing Juggie cry all alone is too much for me. Betty can't find him.... I wouldn't talk to Archie and Veronica either, Betty.... but y'all HAVE to find Jughead and tell him about the gun plant!! Who is framing Billy FP and why?!

Jughead's Input: "People like to say that the death of Jason Blossom changed everything at Riverdale High, but certain things, certain traditions, never change. Take homecoming for instance. Though Jason’s jersey had been retired, the Riverdale Bulldogs would still be playing their arch-rivals the Baxter High Ravens with the River Vixens cheering them on. As in previous years, graduates from days of Riverdale past will come to town to relive their more youthful, more carefree days or… to make up for lost time."

Episode (Chapter) Twelve: Anatomy of a Murder

Official Synopsis: Archie and Veronica are shocked to learn of the arrest, but know they need to come clean to their parents about what they uncovered. Still hurt by the betrayal of his friends and torn over who to trust, Jughead reluctantly joins them in a quest for the truth. Meanwhile, Cheryl confronts her mom about why she treats her so much worse than she ever did with Jason.

My thoughts: Juggie.... I know you feel upset and alone right now, but you CAN'T move to Toledo. And now your mom says you can't either?! Oh, f*ck her. Like, I can say no, but you're damn momma shouldn't. PLEASE STOP CRYING. I'm so glad that Betty, Archie, and Veronica found you before you skipped town (I've lived in FL, it's not all that great and you'll hate it). And now y'all are on the hunt to find whoever is framing Billy FP! What?! FP, you didn't kill Jason and you're being framed, we all know it, so WHY are you confessing? You're lying. And now Alice Cooper has a gun too? Where are all of you people getting these guns?! WHAT?! THE COOPERS ARE REALLY BLOSSOMS?!?! Which means Polly and Jason were hooking up and Polly is now pregnant with her COUSINS BABY. That's right, go get Polly RIGHT F*CKING NOW. I agree with Alice, y'all probably killed your son to cover up the incest.... which blows my mind that people are just NOW throwing that rumor out there. Betty and Jughead need each other now more than ever. Juggie looks so sad talking to his dad.... and he knows FP is lying through his damn teeth!! FP called Joaquin? Kevin's boyfriend? My poor little Kevin. That's right Joaquin, the least you can do is take them to that other Southside Serpent that could maybe help.... annnddddd.... he's dead. All of these parents should be super pissed off right now.... but I also need these kids to help Juggie, so y'all will just have to get over it. Now Hermione is in trouble?! ONE PROBLEM AT A TIME, PLEASE. Kevin is getting Joaquin out of town.... poor Kev, he really cared about that gang member. At least Joaquin gave Kevin a piece of "evidence" before he skipped town.... and the kids found the bag with Jason Blossom's letterman jacket in it. Wait, does this make FP look more guilty or help?! That's right, Betty, SLAY ALL DAY GIRL AND GET IT. What's on the USB drive? All of these kids look officially traumatized. What was on it?! Betty.... why are you calling Cheryl? What's happening? Alice is turning the USB into Sheriff Keller? Ok, now we get to see what's on it.... HOLY. SHIT. Clifford Blossom murdered his own son?!! And Cheryl is hella bent on revenge!! FP confessed, because Clifford came to him the night he was arrested and threatened to kill Jughead?! I'LL BE DAMNED. And now FP can't get out, because he still has a bunch of other charges? Does Juggie at least feel better knowing that his dad isn't a murderer? Mary Andrews is leaving (Bye, Felicia) and Veronica's dad is getting out of prison? Go arrest, Clifford Blossom.... wait.... Cheryl, why do you look like that on your porch? What's in the barn?! CLIFFORD BLOSSOM HUNG HIMSELF?! That, or Cheryl got shit done, because bitches get shit done. And there are drugs everywhere.... shit is getting really realer than real up in here.

Jughead's Input: "And, though one question had been answered that night, that it was Clifford Blossom who killed Jason, a new mystery loomed over Riverdale. Why had he done it? It was a question only Clifford himself would be able to answer..."