I'm starting off the new year on an anxiety high.

And it's just about as much fun as it sounds. Let's see, what has happened so far to send me into an anxiety-induced twitch? 

Accidentally wore my house shoes to work this morning. Forgot to put my glasses on until I was halfway down the road and couldn't figure out why everything looked so blurry (also, my eyesight is getting worse!). Have a low tire on D's car. AND I know about his tire, because I'm currently driving his car for now, because I have to replace Ricardo.

NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Also, I've decided to talk to my brother about our living arrangement (there needs to be some changes and things clarified) and to say that I know he's going to have a defensive and hostile reaction would be an understatement. I already know it's going to be an argument and I don't have the mental capacity to deal with it, but guess what? I'm going to deal with it anyways. Because it needs to be done.

Back to Ricardo. 

My poor little guy is having transmission and front end issues and he needs new tires and brakes. I can't even begin to describe how sad I am about having to replace Ricardo. He's my buddy and the first ever car I bought that was all mine. In fact, he's my first ever "big purchase" that was just all mine. I know it's silly, because it's just a car, but he's the first car that I drove after my extended period of non-driving. He was perfect, because he made me comfortable. And now, it feels like such a loss and sad day to see him go. I should be excited about getting a new car, but really, I'm depressed to see my current one go.

Oh, and our neighbor across the street decided to beat on our door hollering for me to call 911, because he was drunk sick.... TWICE. Let me explain. So, homie beats on my door when I'm home alone and as soon as I open it to ask what he needs, he walks into our living room and proceeds to lose his pants around his ankles. Too intoxicated to realize he's no longer wearing pants he keeps saying that he's sick and he needs an ambulance. I call 911 and they send out medics. I explain everything I know to the medics (which is basically that he drunk stumbled into my home and asked me to call 911, because he was sick) and they load up and head off. Not ten minutes later they're pulling back around and dropping dude off, because apparently he changed his mind? All over the fact they wouldn't take him to the hospital that he wanted and I'm all bro, it's not Uber, but whatever. Cut to an hour and a half later and he's beating on my door AGAIN (thankfully, D was home by this time) hollering for me to call the ambulance AGAIN. So, I had to call the medics ONCE MORE and explain to TWO separate people what was happening and they had to come out ONE MORE TIME. Now don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no problem helping people out and doing what I can if they need it, BUT COME ON.  

So yeah, that's where I'm at on this third day of the new year. Wearing slippers, looking for a new car (which is hard considering I'm blind as hell), drowning in sibling turmoil, trying to avoid my neighbors and essentially just wanting and desperately needing a compound in the middle of the woods in the country where no one can get to me unless I want them to.