Everything is fucked, everybody sucks. You don't really know why, but you wanna justify rippin' someone's head off. No human contact, and if you interact your life is on contract. Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker! It's just one of those days.
Sorry, I've managed to have Limp Bizkit stuck in my head all morning. Like, on loop. Say what you will, but I'm a 90s baby and that demands I have a piece of my mind reserved for Fred Durst lyrics. It's an unwritten rule that I have no control over.
I don't have much to contribute to the world today... but still wanted to ramble about the catastrophe that was my morning. Ok, well... that's a little bit dramatic. It hasn't been a catastrophe but have you ever had one of those mornings where everything is just slightly off... but you also don't really care enough to stress about it and decided to go with the flow?
Happened to me.
We rearranged our room and the setup right now has to be my favorite out of all the changes we've made over the years. I even have half of the table Dev built for my "beauty" section. Ie: I have a mirror that lights up and all my lotions and potions and creams and such are right there for my convenience. I still have some arranging to do to get it set up the way I want but so far it's awesome.
With that being said, I feel like I should also mention I got some new "beauty" stuff to play with. What can I say? I like to play dress up and the little girl inside of me refuses to be put down. Dev and I decided to invest a little moolah (very little because broke bitches) into our hobbies... he chose his tattooing (and is damn good at it with me reaping all the benefits) and I decided dress up! Because he's an enabler and indulges in my whimsy.
I haven't bought makeup in so long though, I learned that it's all quite a bit different than it used to be. Even in the last six to eight years (which is about how long it's been since I actually invested in anything new), it's all so different. I tried to start with Tiktok to learn how to use some of these new products (yes I use Tiktok for everything... including as my therapist and primary doctor but not the point!) and quickly learned that those bitches know what they're doing far better than I do.
At this point, I'm starting to believe that whole "can't teach an old dog new tricks" thing. Momma was fantastic at this kind of thing (she was also a cosmetologist/beautician/hairstylist... I don't know if there's a word that encompasses all that... actually yeah, I think beautician covers it) and she taught me how to put on makeup when I was real young. Like, I was twelve years old and could cake the face of a thirty-five year old woman and make that hussie look GOOD! Her reasoning was if I was going to wear it, then I should at least know how to apply it right. Unfortunately for me, she was amazing at many things that I never picked up on and she had talents that certainly didn't trickle down to me. And now? Everything's so different that the old rules don't apply. Or... maybe they do and I just have to find my happy medium? Yeah... probably that.
I also don't know why I chose 5:45am to try out a new look when I had to be out of the house by 6:30. And honestly, as I was putting on my makeup it was really good... until it wasn't. The situation finally escalated to something along the lines of:
Bitches make putting on eyelashes look easy... this shit is so NOT easy. *gives up on eyelashes from the night before*
When did my face start doing this thing? *spends the next ten minutes trying to pull my face back to where it used to be*
Wow... I apparently don't know shit about contour or bronzer.
*puts some more bronzer on in the spots the videos said* Yeah... I don't think I'm doing this right. Does this make me look like I have dirt on my face?
*gives up on the bronzer and moves onto blush* This shit is way more pigmented than I remember blush being... WTF is happening?
*has flashbacks to my childhood and Tammy Faye Bakker* This has gone terribly awry.
*tries to blend and smooth everything together to look at least halfway decent* Eh, I reckon I'll set this shit, wash my face tonight, and hope for the best tomorrow morning. *brushes hair and doesn't do anything else because out of time*
And then to top it all off, I made my coffee this morning exactly how I like it and proceeded to leave it on the counter and walk right out of the house. Didn't realize it until I got to work and then rolled my eyes so hard at myself I think I lost a contact lens back there.
So you see, nothing has gone terrible. Life is still good and happy and fun.
I mostly just wanted to tell this story so I can conclude with the fact I do look like a 1980s evangelist and I'm not even sorry about it. Hopefully, this humpday gets on with it and Friday will be here before we know it. Because Dev and I have big plans.
Ok, not big plans. We have one WRTTMM to accomplish and then we'll be tattooing and hanging out and playing all weekend with each other. Because as I said, Dev indulges all my childish fantasies and psychedelic mindset.
It's a good life.
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