Better late than never.

So.... I took an early lunch on Friday and went and got my driving permit. And yes, I realize that I'm twenty-six and probably should have gotten it years ago, but as that old saying goes, better late than never.

Or, as Blanche Devereaux would say.... better late than pregnant. Definitely both of those things.

There are many reasons that I haven't gotten a permit/license before now. And while I could go into the whole shpeal of it, I won't. Mostly because that's besides the point and no one cares how your irrational fears have held you back in life.

I was incredibly nervous to take the test (which is hilarious considering that is the only test that I've ever been nervous for in my whole life), but I studied, and I passed (and was kind of shocked about it).

I'm trying to conquer the driving thing, no worries, the whole being scared of sharks (but loving shark movies) isn't going anywhere. Momma always says that I never do anything until I'm the one that is ready. People can hound me and poke me and list a million reasons why.... but until I'm ready, it's not going to happen.

She's right, of course.

But the other day I decided, it was time. Just randomly out of the blue, decided. (And with her eye surgery coming up next week, I couldn't have had this epiphany at a more convenient time). I'm not sure why I decided it was time, but that's usually how I make the decisions in my life. I wait until that part of my brain clicks, and then I say- "Ok, let's do this." And do this, I shall.

Am I still afraid of driving? Of course, just because I decided it was time to be able to do it doesn't mean that it isn't still scary to me. It's just that, I'm ready to conquer that fear.... one way or another.

So, wish me luck out there, I'm gonna need it. And also? Maybe keep an extra eye on the road if possible.... you never know when I might come barreling out of nowhere now that I legally can.

Foxy Knoxy.... a Netflix documentary.

I watched the Amanda Knox documentary on Netflix, so clearly, I am an expert in all things criminal justice right now. I am also an expert on this case that was prolonged throughout eight years, ruining numerous lives and I'm only three years younger than Amanda Knox herself, so we all know that means I can jump inside her crazy little mind.... right?!

No?! Fine.

But, I'm still going to talk about the documentary.... At the beginning when describing herself, Amanda says "in Seattle I was cute.... but in Italy I was the beautiful, blonde, American, and I had never been that before." Calm down, girl. You're starting to sound a bit conceded and no one likes that in a person. Just be your normal self.... unless you suck as a person.

I was seventeen when the news stories of "the infamous Amanda "Foxy Knoxy" Knox" were first splattered across every headline that you could ever possibly imagine. You couldn't go anywhere without seeing her name and face. Tabloids, news coverage, you name it, she was there. I followed along with it about as much as I could stomach and then.... years passed.

The case was still ongoing, but was traded in for even bigger media news and what they thought "the people" would want to know. And, Amanda Knox was forgotten for a couple of years.

Until 2013 rolled around and the retrial began. It was like it 2007 all over again and you couldn't go anywhere without seeing "Foxy Knoxy" (a nickname that she had once given herself- via Myspace- and the media ran with). She released a memoir discussing her side of the story and a Lifetime movie was released (in 2011, but blew up again).... because if you don't have a Lifetime movie based on you, do you really even exist?!

I can't imagine the pain that the young lady who's life was taken must feel. There is no way to know that pain without experiencing it, and I hope to never have to endure that.... to them, I send my deepest sympathies and love.

I'm kind of a documentary fiend.... I love them and have my entire life. The deeper I got into this one.... the more I couldn't believe the inconsistencies. Not from just evidence, or stories, or alibis, but.... all of it. It was just truly amazing to me how many people not only dropped the ball, but also contradicted themselves.

People always ask me the same questions after they find out I have watched the documentary/read about the case....

After review, do I think that Amanda Knox is guilty?! I don't know. Who am I to say? Do I think that she knows far more than she lets on and was perhaps involved at some point? Yes. Do I think or know for a fact that she committed the crime? No.... how could I?! The only thing that I can go with is my gut, and frankly, that's my own opinion, not that of a court of law. Do I think her boss, Patrick Lumumba, had anything to do with it?! I think he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got sucked into the vortex as "collateral damage." Do I think that the man who was convicted and is currently in prison, Rudy Guede, had something to do with it?! Perhaps.... it certainly seems to add up much more than a lot of the theories floating around this case. A breaking and entering gone wrong makes a lot more sense than a "satanic sex triangle." Do I think that Amanda Knox's boyfriend at the time, Raffaele Sollecito, was her accomplice and in on this crime?! No, I don't. I think that he was a young kid who had been blinded by having fallen in love for the first time, and was "collateral damage" just like Lumumba.... I feel bad for him and kind of just want to give him a hug. Do I think that the whole situation could have been handled differently and in a better manner?! Absolutely. Whether that was by the officials, the public, or every single media outlet, I couldn't say. Maybe a little of all of them.

But like I said, that's just my gut feeling.... and that's not worth a whole lot to anybody except me.

Tuesday through Friday and then three more days off.

Christmas was an extremely busy event this year. And, I don't want to sound like I'm complaining (I'M NOT!), I just wanted people to be aware of the busy-ness. (No, that's not even close to a word, but just go with it).

We had our company Christmas party on Friday (and got off at 1:30.... whoop whoop!), Aunt Susi had a Christmas Eve party, and of course.... Christmas itself. It was fun, busy, nice, sweet.... and borderline uneventful.

Which happens to be my absolute favorite part. (And no- that's not me in the below picture, but I like it and it seems to express my current mood, so please just roll with it.).

There was no fighting, fussing, arguing, or knock-down-drag-outs. Which I know sounds more like a UFC fight than a holiday event, but with my family, you can never be too careful.

After we had Christmas dinner (we go down to my Aunt Poot's for holidays) we cleaned up the kitchen and then proceeded to watch John Wayne's- The Cowboys and Stepmom.... because we like variety. And then this conversation happened:

Greg: "Can you believe that Hook is 25 years old?!" Ashley: "I know, it's crazy." Me: "I love that movie." Solae: "So do I, my favorite character is Julio." Me, Greg, and Ashley: "..... who in the f*ck is Julio?!" Solae: "What?!" Me: "Do you mean Rufio?!" Solae: "Yeah, that's it!" And then I proceeded to chant "Rufio-Rufio-Ruf-i-OOOO!!!!" on loop.

Then Momma and I spent the rest of our time watching documentaries (Amanda Knox.... watch it now! More on that later....) and stand-up (#ImBrentMorin) and cleaning our house (if it wasn't for our cool stuff, you would never know that Christmas happened in there.... I took the tree down, and all of the other Christmas paraphernalia got put away until next year.... inside and out). Just the way we like it. 

(And I just stared at my baby tiny Gronk doll that Momma got me.... and it still delights me.).

I hope everyone else is having a wonderful holiday season (it's not over yet!) and that you are getting to spend some much needed time with your loved ones that you hold nearest and dearest to your heart! Stay safe and warm out there, folks!! 

Blanket scarves are so very warm and I'm in love.

Tomorrow is our company Christmas party. And while I'm all for a little celebration (and some food), I kind of just want to go into hibernation and not be around people.... that's totally understandable.... right?!

Did y'all know that Twisted Sisters has a version of "Oh come, all ye faithful?!" I totally forgot about it and just got reminded via the Christmas radio station that Dani forces me to listen to we listen to at work.

Speaking of Christmas.... it's in three days. Or, two days, because on the third day when you wake up it is Christmas.... however you want to count it. Before that though, we have the previously mentioned company Christmas party (Dani only made me responsible for ordering food.... that reminds me, I have to call about some pizza today), and Aunt Susi/Uncle Roger are having a Christmas eve party at their house. I don't know what all y'all are trying to do, it's almost like you're trying to trick me into "being in the holiday spirit" or some shit like that.

Just call me Grinchy McScroogepants.

It's not that I have a distaste for holidays (I'm in love with Halloween), it's just that, there always seems to be so much pressure associated with it. Maybe this year will be different? The last few years haven't been horrible.... they've been real nice.... but I never "feel" what they say you are supposed to. You know, like on Hallmark Christmas movies. I never have that "feeling."

Nevertheless, I did help bake two different kind of cookies (double chocolate cherry cookies and chewy sugar cookies) and made a buttload of fudge and one batch of old-fashioned hard candy. Therefore, I'm pretty sure that I'm well into this holiday season.... I've totally got this.

We were going to make more cookies, candy, and two different kinds of mints (cream cheese and peppermint patties), but Momma and Aunt Poot did the Christmas boxes yesterday and we had enough, so no more mandatory baking from here on out. Although, I am going to have to make some more of those cookies some day, because I didn't even get to eat any of them!

Yesterday (12/21) was the first day of Winter? Could've fooled me.... you know, since it was -2 on Monday. Stay warm out there, folks!! It's going to be a long Winter.... or not. I don't really know.

Wish me luck on these next couple of days.... I think it's going to be a lot of fun (but I'm still going to want to hibernate through it). Oh, and just think, I get two three-day day weekends in a row coming up. Yay, for me and mine!!

Stay safe out there and have a wonderful holiday season with your loved ones.... Merry Christmas.

What's worse? Being cold? Being pukey? Or, being cold while pukey?!

It was one degree outside when I left for work this morning. ONE.

Now, I know that I get up in the morning and I'm out the door for work by 6:00 am.... and I know that winter mornings are colder than winter afternoons (no sun), but y'all have to agree that no matter if you know that it's coming or not, you're never quite prepared for one degree weather until it hits you.

And trust me, a 4:45 am mini walk with your pup so he can potty while you're wearing pajama pants, house shoes, and a coat definitely hits you. Or, at least it did me.

Luckily, there's very little snow out and ice is at the low end.... for now. Honestly, I hope it stays that way, because while cold doesn't tend to bother me (I'll just wear a sweater), I am not a fan of ice/snow. Last Thursday I was cleaning off our car and managed to hit a patch of ice, fall off the curb, hurt my right knee and bend the three middle fingers on my left hand backwards. Because Grace, I am not.

Remember when I told everybody that I had been sick and was feeling better, but still a bit puny? Well.... I may or may not have spent the day throwing up. Like, a lot. As soon as I got to work this morning I had to open Bonehead's door and started heaving.... and all throughout the day. Honestly though, I don't think that I'm sick. I mean, sure "sick" but not "SICK." Does that make sense? No? Hear me out.

I think that I'm having an acid reflux thing going on (how f*cking old am I getting?) that's making me puke everything that I eat/drink.... and bile.... up. That in turn is making me feel like crap, because I can't get anything to stay on my stomach and we all know how much I love food.

Update: it is now Tuesday and while I still feel a bit cruddy (yeah, that's a word), I am feeling better(ish). I got some over the counter acid reflux medicine (seriously, how old am I?) and since I started religiously over-medicating with them.... I feel better. Better(ish). Can I get a Hallelujah?!

HELLUR-LUJAH.

I shouldn't have eaten that sausage dip.

Y'all, I'm just now getting back on my feet from a week ago (and still not very well at it). Wednesday I got up for work and went in perfectly fine.... then 9:00 am hit and all hell broke loose.

I started puking, but after the first time I felt fine and attributed it to getting too dizzy.... and then I puked a second time.... and then a third. Once the third time came and went Danielle demanded that I go home. Not politely asked, but demanded it. She politely asked me if I needed to go home the first two times.... the third she told me to get my ass on somewhere that wouldn't infect her.

So, home I went. Half a day on Wednesday and all of Thursday.

I didn't get up off the couch except to pee without that time frame, either. I just kind of laid there half-ass watching Netflix (TWD) and Lethal Weapon and dozing off.... when I wasn't puking that is. I returned to work on Friday, not feeling all that great, but I hate missing work when I don't have to and it was only one day.... right?! Sure.

I was icky on Friday evening (go figure), but not "horrible" and come Saturday I had a bit more hop in my step and it was our "Annual Girls Get Together" for Christmas. I went, did my thing and had a blast. We did 'Secret Santa', ate a ton of food, exchanged stories, did a few craft (we made air fresheners and hand/whatever warmers that you heat in the microwave out of rice). I started feeling a bit flushed, but nothing ridiculous and once we had our fun (it was three? four? more? hours long) we headed home.

And that's when it hit me. As soon as I walked in the door I had to run to the bathroom to puke.... again.... and this time, it was Dani's delicious sausage dip. You know, delicious when you're eating it, not when you're puking it. And I proceeded to puke the rest of the evening.

I haven't been "sick" since then, but I'm still feeling weak and my stomach could be better.... then again, it could be worse. I think I need to eat a chicken quesadilla to know for sure, but since I don't have one I'll just go ahead and call it. I'm not sure why I still feel cruddy (tired, achy, icky all around), but I do and it bites.... and it's been a week now so COME ON.

On the bright side though, we had a real good time with those hilarious ladies that I'm related to.... well, most of them.... you know who you are party pooper!!

What in the actual f*ck?! I'm just going to ramble for a minute.... or six.

It's been an odd week. The days seem longer, the evenings seem shorter, and I really just want a giant bowl of nachos from Qdoba.... but I digress. Mostly because I'm in the home stretch until the weekend (having four and a half days off and coming back to work for a full week makes you feel the struggle.... or at least, that's what I'm going with).

This whole having holidays/weekends off thing has spoiled me. For years (I got my first "real job" two months before I turned fifteen.... back when you could hire a child and make them perform menial/degrading jobs for little to no pay.... ah, glory days) I worked every holiday and most weekends. And when I say every holiday, I mean it. I always wanted the gals/dudes that I worked with to have the holidays off with their kids, so I would pick up their shifts. But now, the company that I work for is closed on Government holidays (most of them, at least) and my department isn't open on weekends, so you know.... HUZZAH.

Also, I've come to realize that I'm basically a short/chubby version of Sweet Dee.... and I'm good with it.

I need to buy a lottery ticket. Twenty people just won the jackpot in the county that I used to reside in.... and I opened two packets of starbusts (two per pack) and ended up with three pinks and one red, so you can imagine how serious shit is getting right about now.

I've been meaning to be productive this week.... and to some degree, I have been. I'm caught up at work (mostly.... mostly), the inside of the house is decorated for Christmas (and by "decorated" I mean the tree is up with lights/ornaments on it and the couple of placemats with Santa are set out), the house is also clean, I made chocolate fudge (and have eaten none of it.... I don't even like chocolate fudge #pb4life), and Tayder and I are almost all the way through It's Always Sunny (for the second time) on Netflix.... we have our priorities in check.

I answer social media challenges with sarcasm.... and questions. My friend from back in the day (hi, Amanda!) tagged me on FB for a little "challenge". It's one of those things where they have a list of questions and you have to answer them all. Or, you can be like me and ignore/pretend that you didn't see that you were tagged in a post. You know, dealers choice. Here we go....

Do you have a gf/bf? No, I traded one in for happiness and self worth. Do you have animals? I have a small/furry child. Do you love someone? Sure. Do you annoy people? Absolutely.... I have no doubts on this one. Do you wear makeup? When it's needed (aka, at work otherwise I'm too lazy). Are you mean? I'm sarcastic.... and yes, also mean. Tall of short? Hobbit, party of one. Facebook or Twitter? Netflix. Green or Blue? Depends.... we talking clothes or candy? Cinderella or Belle? Jack Sparrow. Hoodies or Jackets? Is going into public with a blanket wrapped around you appropriate? No? Fine, hoodies. Nike or Adidas? I'M CHEAP AND HATE SHOES.... I prefer my boots, thanks though. Sports or no Sport? If I'm playing, no sports.... if Rob Gronkowski is involved, sports all day, every day.  Burger King or KFC? All the food. Just, all of it. Sweatpants or Shorts? Sweatpants.... they usually have pockets for my candy, flask, and allergy pills.

It's really cold outside (the weather has been wishy-washy) and I think that it's here to stay for awhile. Do you know what that means? More nachos and Netflix.... and I can't say that I'm sad about it (so happy). Winter is for avoiding people, drinking alcohol while using the excuse "it's the holiday season" and hibernating as much as possible.... of course, that's also my goal in life. That, and learning how to bake without directions.... I want to be able to just "eyeball" it.