She graduated and then they threw a shindig on a very pretty day.

A couple weeks ago, Solae graduated from high school. We're beyond proud of her and can't wait to see what she does next! Ok, did that get all the corny mumbo jumbo that you're supposed to say out of the way?

Yes? Good.

Seriously though, we are proud of her and she's a great kid. It's amazing to me that it feels like she was a little bitty thing not too long ago and now here she is, technically an adult. Like, what the f*ck? Is this how everyone feels? Do people feel this way about me? Is this going to happen for the rest of my existence?

Ah, the circle of life. 

They had a party for her today and while I don't tend to venture out of my hole for much (except work, the grocery store, and the occasional run around with my hubby), I had to make an exception for her. Because she is the epitome of a cool kid that deserves it all. Honestly, I love the little shit.

We walked up the street since it was at Aunt Poot's (can we have this weekends weather all day everyday, pleeeeaasssseeee?????) and there were all kinds of people there. Friends, family, it didn't matter. She's popular with us all, because as I said, she's awesome. We got to sign her board (like she did our wedding one!) and look through all of her band competition memorabilia. It was actually really cool and I'm glad she had a good time!

Here's to you, kiddo. We (Me + Dev + the Pups) always got your back and can't wait to see you take on the whole f*cking world. **embarrassing kissy face here**

She outgrew me when she was eight, but this still feels nostalgic.

Ok, we’re both old enough, you can stop now. Here’s looking at you, kiddo. I’m so damn proud of you.

I was not ready to come back to work after four and a half days off.

My Thanksgiving "holiday" was pretty productive in the fact that not only did I get stuff around the house done, but I also binge-watched some movies and Hawaii Five-0. The Friday after Thanksgiving D had to work, but came home sick, so I watched a few without him and continued on through the weekend.

Thursday: I actually made Thanksgiving dinner for me and D all by myself. D was there for moral support, but I did all of the cooking. I had never cooked a turkey on my own (I wanted to do turkey breast, but D insisted we have a legit turkey, so we got a small one so us and our pups could eat), but I used a lot of butter and random spices, and roasted it in our oven for about three hours and damn. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but that shit was delicious. I don't know if it's a thing or not, but our turkey was literally falling off the bone and f*cking delicious. Between that and the sides I made, we were pretty stuffed. Also, D has declared that I am to make the turkey every year from now until eternity.

Friday: Greg came home for the weekend as this is his week to be at our house, but D and him had to work so it was just me and the pups chilling at the house. I has to run to the store to pick up my mortgage payment and some dog food.... completely forgetting the fact that it was "Black Friday." Ugh. I hate people with a fiery passion, but luckily I avoided too much headache and picked up some stuff that we needed (and a couple of things that I wanted). Nothing big, just little odds and ends. Then I grabbed a burger on my way home and commenced to watching movies with my pups. D came home sick (and no, it wasn't from my cooking, assholes) and while I planned on cleaning my house and tackling that back bedroom, I didn't do it and instead we just watched tv and cuddled with the pups all day.

Saturday: I reluctantly got my house clean and situated. Not that back bedroom, but the rest of the house was good to go. D was laid up on the couch still sick, so I didn't want to bother him and cleaned around him. It's amazing to me how messy two people (part-time three) and three pups can be. No worries though, I got it all done and now there's only spot cleaning and the usual (sweeping, dishes after meals, etc.) to do on the daily. I was going to do more, but decided I was "on vacation" and once again, watched movies with D and cuddled the pups instead.

Sunday: I FINALLY cleaned that back bedroom and got the heaping mound of laundry that has been taunting me started. While the back bedroom is still cluttered (it's kind of our guest/catch all room), it's an organized clutter and you can actually walk in it/use the bed. Which is nice considering that D's dad will be staying with us for four days towards the end of the month. While I still have a mountain of laundry to complete, which I have to do this evening, the fact that my entire house is clean makes me feel much better. I also may have drank a bit of alcohol to kickstart my urge to tackle that back bedroom and by the time D woke up I was pretty.... tipsy. (Stop judging me, I do what I want!) Luckily, he was feeling much better and he took me to the store (yes, again.... I had to get Tayder food, drinks, and pick up the stuff for the dinner we're making his stepdad). When we got home, we put the stuff away and then, guess what? Didn't do shit else. In fact, while we were watching tv with the pups, I actually fell asleep and took a nap. Now, I watch a ton of tv (#noregrets), but I NEVER nap. When I woke up just a little bit later, D was cooking supper, so I showered and did supper dishes and then just hung out for the rest of the evening. I did a little cleaning, but nothing too drastic.

And now, it's Monday morning and not only am I back at work, but this is going to be a busy week for us. D's stepdad is flying into Indy tomorrow for business, so in the evening we're going to pick him up and bring him back to our house to cook him dinner. Then on Wednesday, they are finally coming to replace our bathroom window. They were supposed to do it in November, but I had to push it back for work, and the only day they had available was 12/4. Which is good, because at least it's before "hard" winter sets in. Oh, and Saturday is apparently Solae's Sweet 16, and I know I have to go and make an appearance, but I'm not sure how long we'll stay, because you know me and people.

On my list: try to start managing what I'm going to get people for Christmas this year. I'm not going to do much, but there are a few people I need to get things for, so.... we'll see how that goes. I'm not a bit excited for Christmas this year, any holidays actually, but D is persistent and forever trying to help me get through the rough patches that seem to entomb my life. I even let him get a tiny tree (that sets on our side table in the living room) for Christmas. It's a small step, but I'm trying.

So yeah, we'll see how this week plays out.... can we be back on home vacation again?

Tuesday through Friday and then three more days off.

Christmas was an extremely busy event this year. And, I don't want to sound like I'm complaining (I'M NOT!), I just wanted people to be aware of the busy-ness. (No, that's not even close to a word, but just go with it).

We had our company Christmas party on Friday (and got off at 1:30.... whoop whoop!), Aunt Susi had a Christmas Eve party, and of course.... Christmas itself. It was fun, busy, nice, sweet.... and borderline uneventful.

Which happens to be my absolute favorite part. (And no- that's not me in the below picture, but I like it and it seems to express my current mood, so please just roll with it.).

There was no fighting, fussing, arguing, or knock-down-drag-outs. Which I know sounds more like a UFC fight than a holiday event, but with my family, you can never be too careful.

After we had Christmas dinner (we go down to my Aunt Poot's for holidays) we cleaned up the kitchen and then proceeded to watch John Wayne's- The Cowboys and Stepmom.... because we like variety. And then this conversation happened:

Greg: "Can you believe that Hook is 25 years old?!" Ashley: "I know, it's crazy." Me: "I love that movie." Solae: "So do I, my favorite character is Julio." Me, Greg, and Ashley: "..... who in the f*ck is Julio?!" Solae: "What?!" Me: "Do you mean Rufio?!" Solae: "Yeah, that's it!" And then I proceeded to chant "Rufio-Rufio-Ruf-i-OOOO!!!!" on loop.

Then Momma and I spent the rest of our time watching documentaries (Amanda Knox.... watch it now! More on that later....) and stand-up (#ImBrentMorin) and cleaning our house (if it wasn't for our cool stuff, you would never know that Christmas happened in there.... I took the tree down, and all of the other Christmas paraphernalia got put away until next year.... inside and out). Just the way we like it. 

(And I just stared at my baby tiny Gronk doll that Momma got me.... and it still delights me.).

I hope everyone else is having a wonderful holiday season (it's not over yet!) and that you are getting to spend some much needed time with your loved ones that you hold nearest and dearest to your heart! Stay safe and warm out there, folks!! 

Where in the hell was I when all of this happened?!!

(This weekend I had a realization).

January has already come and gone this new year and I'm sitting here like- ?????

To be honest, I don't really keep up with time all too well. My intentions are good, but I just never have the follow through. I feel like I'm not the only person that has this issue though. I feel like most people are either very structured people (i.e. they know everything down to the exact date) or they're kind of willy-nilly with it (i.e. me). It makes life much more interesting. Or at least to me, it does.

For instance, this past weekend Aunt Poot asked Momma and I to go with her to her youngest grand-kids (my cousin) birthday party. We had no problem with going, so come Saturday we went to her house and all rode together. Would you like to know what I realized that day at his party?

You see, little Sammy there was born January of the year I graduated high school. How old was Sammy on his birthday? Eight. Do you know what that means? That means that this May I will have been graduated from high school for EIGHT YEARS. And I had a mild panic attack. Because how am I this old?! How was that so long ago?! When in the hell did Solae get so tall?! All very valid questions that I felt needed answered immediately.

And then I chilled the eff out.

Because so what if I'm going to turn twenty-six in a few days (the 13th). I'm happy with life and I feel like I'm at a good point in mine (for the most part). I do what I want, when I want, with whomever I want (you just wait until James Spader gives me a call) and I'm surrounded by people that I love and care about. And when I actually do take those moments to realize what time it really is, I always find myself surrounded by my loved ones arriving somewhere between laughter and wine. 

And that's my comfy spot.

The levels of baking cookies with an eleven year old.

I got the bright idea to let Solae spend the night on Saturday and then she was all- let's do something fun!! Can we bake cookies?!! You're SO awesome. And of course I had consumed about a bottle of wine when she called me and said that I was awesome, so I was all- of course you can spend the night. And we'll bake cookies, and make things, and I'll cook you pasta, because I'm awesome!! I GOT THIS.

Cut to the next morning when I figured out that my Momma had actually already promised her all of this, while volunteering me, with me sober and I immediately regretted my actions. You would think it was the walk of shame with how much I was regretting said actions, but no. No, it was just the promise of having to do all of this. Ugh.

But I'm a good sport, and if nothing else, I'm fairly decent at keeping my promises, so I said- what's done is done and went to buy more wine. Because obviously I make great decisions while drinking. And then we picked her up around eleven that day to run some errands and get home to bake. And apparently make mustache pops and cake pops.

Level one:
You get together everything that you need or could possibly ever need to get things going. Eleven year olds have about the attention span of me a ferret on crack so you can imagine how well this step went. Once everything was gathered I realized that there were alot more things on the counter to make than I had originally agreed to and while no one was looking started hiding them odd places in the kitchen.

Level two:
The baking is going good by this point. You've got a crap ton of energy and are in a good mood. You're mixing and baking at such a fast rate that when the kid asks you if she can eat all of the sugar, you agree, because let's be honest about the fact that you're kind of an alcoholic and have already started drinking the half a bottle of wine in the fridge.

Level three:
You take a small bathroom break and when you walk out you see that the kid is standing in the living room, listening to Taylor Swift, throwing around the dish towel like she's Raphael from the Ninja Turtles. You ask her what she's doing and realize that she's so jacked up on sugar that her eyes are as big as tea saucers. It's also at this point that you decide to crack open your second bottle of wine. I can literally feel your judgement on me right now.

Level four:
By now the kid has come down off of her sugar high and you're stuck finishing the cookies, because she wanted to watch Captain America. Nevermind the fact that you want to watch Captain America, oh no, you're the adult so finish the damn cookies, make pasta, and frost the snowmen cookies, bitch! Also, you may or may not ask your Momma and Aunt if the tiny snowman cookies that she made look like little penises or if you're just slightly tipsy. PS, they looked like little penises and you frosting them white probably wasn't the best idea.

Level five:
By this level you're lucky you even survived. Especially if you hate the holidays, because you're a big, fat, fatty Grinch. Aka me. Now, you've cleaned the kitchen and you're sitting on the floor with your feet on the oven door, drinking the rest of the wine out of the bottle, sending pictures to your friend of your burnt hand, because you just knew that was going to hurt in the morning. And you finally peel yourself off the tile, go take a shower, and go to bed. Only to wake up at four the next morning with a sinus infection.

But guess who's awesome and totally still the favorite?!

I have many things to be thankful for {A sappy (early) Thanksgiving post}.

What's there not to be happy about today? I mean, I get off at 11:00 today. I have the next four days off. Aunt Poot and Solae are coming over tonight for movie night (Expendables 3...whoop whoop!!). Momma is feeling pretty good. Aunt Susi is happier. Jayna is at work today helping to put up the tree. Me and Dani match in our Griswold shirts (by accident). Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Greg is happy. John is up here now. I've decided to watch Outlander on Demand (all eight episodes) while I'm off. And I'm losing weight. The world is good. My world that is.

Two year old me would like to wish you happy holidays!! Clearly, we know who the cute one was. My brother and cousins claim they were, but I mean, come on. Look at little ole me.

Things could be better I suppose. I reckon they always could. People always seem to talk about the things that could be better. However, I'm a drink the glass that way you don't have to decide if it's a glass half empty/half full kind of gal. I try to always find the silver lining and be optimistic. Noodle likes to tell me that I'm the ultimate eternal optimistic/hopeless romantic. I'm not really sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but we got that kind of love. I'll take it.

I have so much to be thankful for. So much. I'm in fairly decent health. It teeter totters back and forth between things sometimes, but for the most part things tend to go good. At least it's nothing I can't deal with as far as now. My Momma. The fact is that she's in poor health, but you know what? She's getting help for it. And it's getting better by the day. She will never be healed, however I'm hopeful that with time we can get her to that level. You know what 'that' level is. Tayder is still kicking and lugging around. Poor guy is grumpy, but he's the Walter Matthaeu of dogs, so I'm ok with it.

I like that he's still here to give me cuddles and kisses when I need them. I spend time with a few of my favorite people in the world- i.e. Momma, Aunt Susi, Uncle Roger, Aunt Poot, Uncle Darrell, Aunt Mary, Dani, Solae, Greg when he doesn't have a giant stick up his butt. And so on and so forth. I love spending so much time with Momma. And I love spending time with those I am close to. Work is good. Our apartment is good. Family is good, except for the buttheads, but you know.

I could complain. I really could. But why? So much has happened. There was so much bad in me that I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to turn. I got to the point that I didn't want to do my favorite things. I didn't want to talk to my friends. Anybody really. I didn't want to read or watch tv. I didn't want to leave the house. I didn't even want to get out of bed or get dressed. I didn't really want anything. I went through the motions and that was it. I didn't know what else to do. I just laid there and stared at the walls. I cried without knowing why. I sat there without paying attention to the things around me. My life was going without me really in it. It's been like this for years. Since I was around fifteen, I guess. And then I started making changes. Big changes. And it helped. Don't get me wrong, there are days that I still have these feelings. Everyday I have at least a few of these feelings and don't really understand why. I've never known why. But you know what? Here it is. And here I am. I'm surrounded by people that love me, and even though I don't want to burden them with my problems, I know that if I needed them they are there. And that's nice. And for that my friends, I am thankful.

Happy (early) Thanksgiving.