**SPOILER ALERT** I'm gonna be talking about all three movies so if you haven't seen any and/or all... don't say I didn't tell you and it's not my fault if my rambling ruined it for you. And if it is, my bad, dude.
In fact, all three were brand new to the both of us because we had never watched any of them... apparently.
First on the list... 28 Days Later. Can I just say I thought I had seen this movie before? I really thought I had. But, I must've seen it when it first came out (when I was like twelve?), or I've just been watching clips of it for so many years that I thought I had seen it. Either way, I didn't remember any of it so brand new to me.
Anyways... I feel like these movies probably hit a little different post-pandemic. I mean, when shit was shutting down and people were fist-fighting over toilet paper... didn't you kind of think it was pre-apocalypse?
I couldn't have been the only one that thought it felt a little zombie-adjacent out there. Even now... I'm not 100% positive some of these bitches in the city aren't zombies. That could be bathsalts though so...
You wanna know what my biggest problem with the first movie was? Ok, I'll tell you. The movie is 28 DAYS later... essentially FOUR weeks between the outbreak and quarantine/apocalypse. Following so far? Cool... so at some point in the movie the survivors hear a broadcast that's been happening about a week (so... 21 DAYS//THREE WEEKS in) and they decide to travel to this "safe zone." Come to find out... it's full of soldiers... but it is indeed not safe and ALL the dudes there (except one that gets offed by his own team for not agreeing with them) are literally rapey-predators that are more concerned about vagina than having their faces eaten off. I mean... SERIOUSLY?! It took y'all exactly 21 days to lose all traces of humanity and start trying to trap women like they're deer? Sad commentary on the world we live in. And by sad, I mean ICK at how accurate I feel this would be.
Which leads us to... 28 Weeks Later. It starts off by showing a set of survivors trying to hide and make it through and then picks up 28 weeks after the initial outbreak. First off, can I just say that if my entire country was evacuated because a zombie-rage plague broke out... I'm certainly not going to catch a plane or train back like seven months later because they say it's been "handled." Ok... but like... how did y'all handle it? I AIN'T GOING BACK. Whatever.
So... in the process of all this they try to make you mad at the "main" survivor from the beginning. He's apparently pretty important or something... the infected swarm the house they're in and while he tries to get his wife out with him she essentially has absolutely no survival instinct whatsoever and insists on saving a little boy that ran in. I get it... the mama bear in her was strong to protect this kid... but like... your hubby didn't agree to those terms and conditions. He tried to get her out and she ran back and they got separated by a crowd of biters. Then she's gonna stand at the window and scream for him to come get her out as he's high-tailing it across the yard... like what did you want him to do? He's damn near an acre away and you're standing in front of a giant picture window. She couldn't break that f*cking window or run or do something except look at her husband like a damsel in distress? Yeah, I ain't mad at him for how that played out.
What I am mad at him about however, is the fact that this hussie somehow survived (he's seen her instincts, how did that not raise ssoooo many questions) and the first thing you do is kiss this bitch? Don't get me wrong, the love of your life is alive and that's great... but like... don't touch her yet. Run some tests. F*CKING SOMETHING. Nope. He just goes ahead and swaps spit and gets infected and ruins everyone's lives. Cool.
Dick. And also... can I just say having never seen this movie, I still somehow knew Jeremy Renner wasn't gonna make it out alive? I was right... horrific death.
And finally, coming in hot... 28 Years Later. Because apparently, months mean f*cking nothing and we ain't dealing with them.
The first thing I need you to know about this movie? So much dick. Like, I'm not trying to be that person... but it straight up looks like somebody's about to get clobbered over the head with it at one point. Just saying... that Alpha ain't playing f*cking games.
This one was the weirdest of them all... and I liked it but don't know if I liked it. You know what I mean? I liked the movie... but there were a bunch of cut-to parts and weird "vision" shit that just made no sense to me. And don't get me wrong, I love a good trippy scene... when it makes sense. And having Kick-Ass and Voldemort be survivors? That tracks.
My husband's biggest take away from these movies? He's mad at his gender for being so f*cking creepy. My biggest take away? I'm still not convinced this can't happen.
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