Monday, March 20, 2017

Pick a Headline: "Australian teenager mauled after jumping into crocodile-infested river for a dare."

I thought that I would try a new thing, where on occasion, I would choose a headline that I've read and it jumped out on me. I have to say, when I read this article from the "International Business Times" page, it definitely jumped out.

Mostly, because the only thing I could think was, "are you f*cking kidding me?!"

Synopsis of article: An 18-year-old boy bragged to surrounding friends (and girls that he was trying to impress) that he could swim in the treacherous waters of the Johnstone River.... that just so happen to be infested with saltwater crocodiles. Why do I bother with the saltwater part? I'm glad you asked, because saltwater crocs are known to be the deadliest out of all the crocodiles. Honestly, if you're going to have to contend with a croc, you better hope he's from West Africa, because he's the nicest kind.... you know, if that's a thing (it isn't).

My thoughts: Look, I know how it is to be a teen and want people to think you are cool. Not really, considering that I didn't like most people my age, BUT I can understand it. You know what the boys did when I was a teen and they wanted to impress a girl?

They revved their truck.

Or, they wrote you a sweet little note (and insisted that you tell no one that they copied poetry).

Maybe they even brought you flowers.

Or, gave you a ride home.

Sometimes they'd pick you up, drive to the middle of nowhere and have you dance in their truck-bed with them while they played country music.

No matter which of those things that they chose, never once do I recall any of them saying, "I have a great idea! Let's go jump into the riverbed.... THAT'S KNOWN FOR BEING INFESTED WITH ANY AND EVERY DEADLY CROCODILES."

Honestly, I would think most people with common sense would prefer the truck thing, because if you like a guy, you kind of don't want to see him hit the water, immediately start screaming bloody murder, have to drag him out of said water, drive him to a hospital, and then fill out a police report. Seriously dude, JUST GO PICK HER SOME FLOWERS.

While I'm glad that the kid is going to make a full recovery, I do hope that he has enough forethought in his future endeavors to not do something so incredibly stupid and reckless.... and that he uses common sense regularly.