Friday, August 11, 2017

My brother is about to be a dad. (Part III).

Actually, my brother has been a dad (and I've been an aunt, I guess?) for almost six months now, but I started out with this whole "my brother is ABOUT to be a dad" posting and now there's no turning back for me.

Catch up on Part I here and Part II here.

All caught up now?! Good.... because I have some complaining things I would like to talk about when it comes to this whole "having a nephew" thing. And I know people are usually very excited about this whole "having a baby around" thing, but I'm a horrible person and just don't care for it at all.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like this particular baby or don't love him or anything, but.... how do I explain this without sounding like even more of a dick than I already do? I thought having a baby around would be.... more fun, I guess?!

Actually I don't even really know what I mean, because it's hard to explain. Let me start over.... my brother sends me around the clock pictures/videos/facetime calls with Gabby front and center. I mean, I get it, he's proud of his kid and all.

But.... I don't think I need to see EVERYTHING that he does. Why? Because he doesn't really do anything. Afterall, he IS a baby (he'll be six months old on the first of next month) and at this point he only knows like three tricks. Yes, I know he's not a dog, BUT aren't babies supposed to be just a more fragile version of a puppy?!

No?! Oomph, I didn't see that one coming.
Is thinking your nephew is cute NOT enough?!!

The point is, my brother sends me constant videos of Gabby.... and he's always doing the same thing (staring into the video and on occasion making a random burp sound). And then he sends me pictures of every little detail of his life.... and he's always doing the same thing (staring at something and looking really confused). And then he Facetimes me and wants me to stare at Gabby while he does whatever trick my brother and his girlfriend are convinced that he can do.... even though he's ALWAYS doing the same thing (again, staring at someone/something looking super confused and on occasion making a burping sound). And let's not mention the pictures he sends me that have Snapchat filters on them and they freak me the hell out (because I've usually had quite a few drinks by the time I receive them). Every once in awhile you'll get a laugh (or nap) out of him, but that's about it.

I'm not trying to sound like an ass or anything, but most people that know me know that I'm not "huge" on the whole baby thing to begin with.... like, I get that y'all want them and love them, but my anxiety levels and looming sarcasm don't seem to really let me in on the phenomenon that is babies.

I'm going to hell, aren't I?! The answer is yes.... but for so many other reasons other than this. I guess what I'm trying to get at is: Bro, I know you love your kid (and that's great, you're supposed to!), but I don't need to stare at him do nothing. Holler at me when he can start pouring drinks or cleaning toilets.... now that I'll find exciting!!