Thursday, April 27, 2017

My brother is about to be a dad. (Part II).

Back in the beginning of March I wrote a post explaining the fact that my brother was about to be a dad. By extension that was going to make Momma and grandma.... and me an aunt.

HO. LY. SHIT.

And now here we are, almost two months later and there's been a baby hanging around on occasion. I'm not one of those people that could tell you how much he weighed when he was born (a little over nine pounds?.... maybe), or how long he was, or even any real detail like that. I know that I should be able to, but if I'm nothing else at all, at least I am inconsistent when it comes to obliviousness pertaining to a list of random shit.


It's weird to me how fast a baby's features change, but I guess that's just the name of the game when infants are involved. He's been chubby the whole time (cheek wise) and I have to say, I'm pretty much loving that, because chubby babies are just cuter than all the other babies (calm down, I'm not "baby body shaming" that's not even a thing!).

My brother is so damn proud he practically looks like a peacock strutting around. So does Momma now that I think about it.... when I was feeding him last night (half asleep) she informed me that I looked adorable holding a baby. I told her then she better take a picture, because she ain't getting any babies from me (insert LOL here). The first picture they even have of me holding him is from the same day that I had dental surgery and half of my face was paralyzed. And maybe one of us where we both passed out in the chair (again, right after my dental surgery and "drugged" up.... aka, feeling horrible. and because he's a baby and likes naps.).

And last night was the first night that he actually slept over at our house. While I would love to tell you that it went as smoothly as it could, that wouldn't be 100% accurate. Don't get me wrong, it went perfectly fine and nothing bad happened, but I was pretty much a nervous wreck and couldn't quit walking over to him while he was sleeping to make sure that he was ok. You wouldn't think it, but a baby can really make an already anxiety ridden person very on edge.

I was filled with questions like, "can he breathe?" "is his arm supposed to turn like that?" "did he just stick a piece of that sheet up his nose?" "what if I didn't burp him enough.... what happens then?!" "is he giving me side eye?" "can babies even give side eye?" And so on and so forth.

And while he slept through the majority of the night, he did get up a couple of times.... my brother said it was because he was hungry, I say it's because he wanted to see how fast I would jump up and panic. We'll agree to disagree on that one, but I swear he laughed at me every time I panicked. Every. Single. Time.

And I learned a valuable lesson.... I learned that even though it's not illegal to call a two month old baby an asshole, it's still really frowned upon. I couldn't help it, he was being SUCH as asshole! No worries though, I still love him and I don't mind having him around.... much. (I say "much" but I am kind of fond of the little gas ball I call a nephew.).

P.s. His name is Gabriel Alexander.... and I call him Gabby (much to my brother and his girlfriend's chagrin).

P.s.s. this has absolutely nothing to do with having a baby, but some asshole broke into ours and our neighbors garages last night.... just thought I'd put it out there. You know what I say about people?! Ugh. I say, ugh.