1. I look dumb as hell.
2. Look at ALL of the cute ways I could do my hair if only it was long.
It seems like you just have alot of regret and it can feel like the end of the world (#FirstWorldProblems). But, here's the thing.... as of this writing (4/5/18), I haven't worn my hair down or "fixed it" since November 2017. And that's not an exaggeration, it's a fact. The last time my hair was "down" or "fixed" was the last time I had it cut and the hairstylist did it.
Seriously, I haven't done anything to my own hair aside from washing it, brushing it, and pulling it up for at least five months. And there's no telling how long it had been before that. Having long hair is good in theory, but it can also be a giant pain in the ass. Not to mention, all of the inconveniences it causes me. And not inconveniences like clogging up our drains (although, it does do that), or becoming a tangled up/matty mess (again, it does that too), or getting so frizzy that it falls into my eyes/mouth and if I'm being honest it ruins my life at least twice a day, but more than just that.... I get major headaches.
And while migraines tend to run with the women in my family (go figure, the damn guys don't have to have them.... aside from one uncle), I can't help but to feel like mine would be at the very least a tad less excruciating if I didn't have so much weighing it down. My hair is heavy. REALLY heavy. And when I have a headache, it feels like it is ten times heavier than it already is.
In addition to all of the things you think about yourself when you make a considerable change to your look, you also get to hear the opinions of every single person that looks and/or talks to/about you. I learned long ago that other people's opinions are just that.... their opinions. But, no matter how much self-confidence you have, or however much you don't care about other people's opinions, you can't help but to have your weak moments. If you're already self-conscious about the way you look in any way, eventually, somebody is going to say something one day that's gonna get through. It sucks, but it's true.
Sometimes no matter what you do, people are just nasty little individuals. And you have to get tired of their constant negative comments. Who wants to listen to that shit on a daily basis? Not this girl.
Then again, the chances of them leaving you alone are pretty slim. If it's not about your hair it's gonna be something else. They're not gonna like the way you dress (I get that one ALOT), or do your makeup, or an entire list of other things that are really nobody else's damn business except your own.... that doesn't stop them though. So, you may as well do what you need to do to make yourself happy and comfortable. Easier said than done.
With all of that being said, if I do decide to chop all of my hair off (I'll be donating it to: Wigs 4 Kids.... join me?), here are some things that I feel I should remind my future self of, just in case she starts feeling bad about herself/her short hair look:
1. Dude, your head hurts. Like, not a headache hurt (although, you're getting those quite frequently too), but your actual scalp. It hurts to touch it and everytime your hair moves even a little it, it feels like someone is stabbing you on the top of the head and lighting it on fire all at once. Trust me, you want this to stop, because IT HURTS. Even washing it hurts and at times has brought you to semi-tears.
2. Give it a damn chance. If you did this time what you do everytime you cut your hair short, you immediately looked in the mirror and decided to let it grow out. You never even gave it a chance to see if you liked it once you "got used to it." Of course you look different, your hair has always been semi-long, so back up, regroup, and figure out if you really do hate it or if you're just being crazy.... again.
3. For some reason every single time a girl cuts her hair short someone always says you look like a lesbian (or, a much more derogatory version of it). For one, screw that person, because they are a hateful little bucket of spit. Also, this isn't something you should even concern yourself with. Even if you're not a lesbian, there's nothing wrong with that being your sexual orientation, and therefore nothing that should upset you.
4. STOP thinking about all of the things that would happen "if you had long hair." You've lived at least twenty-eight years and NEVER ONCE has a scene from a movie or book been reenacted in your entire life (unless you count Bryan referencing Bruce Campbell in AOD). Having long hair is NOT more romantic and this isn't 1782. Short hair is fine and alot of the time these days, preferred. Like I said, you haven't done anything with your hair in at least five months. (And more than that if you count before that November haircut). And you always say, "but, if it was and I could, I would." No. No, you won't. Take it from the girl that is currently living it right now. You're NOT gonna mess with it. Sad, but completely accurate. And also, it's a giant pain in the ass. You used to love straightening your hair and "fixing it" but you would rather take a punch to the face rather than having to deal with it now. Seriously dude, let that shit go. I'm currently living it, so I know.
5. Dude, that shit is forever getting on your nerves and you never love it. It doesn't matter who you think might look at you differently once you have short hair, because you're the only one that really has to deal with it. You have to wear it down when you go to bed (because of the aforementioned pain) and it constantly gets stuck under you, pulling it and hurting all over again. It gets in your eyes and mouth and honestly, it's just so damn annoying and frustrating. Trust me, you've been here plenty before, it NEVER gets better.... only more aggravating.
6. Whenever you think, "maybe we girls just shouldn't have short hair, can I even pull this off?" take a look at Lily Collins, Emma Fitzpatrick, Shailene Woodley, Kaley Cuoco, Cheyann Shaw, Evan Rachel Wood, Lauren Cohan, Willa Holland, Keira Knightley, Ruby Rose, Michelle Williams, Julianne Hough, or Carey Mulligan just to name a few (or a bunch) and watch how ladies can pull of short hair flawlessly. (Or, you know, look at your secret "short hair" album on Facebook).
7. Your hair is falling out by the handfuls and while you still have a bunch to go around, it's horrible. You can literally do NOTHING without your hair hindering you in some way/shape/form. Aside from it just falling out by the handfuls (and no, that's not being dramatic it literally comes out in handfuls), it's starting to hinder your sleeping (who knew?) and to be fairly honest it.... you hate it. You pretend you don't, because you still have this whole "you should have long hair" thought going on, but honestly you just honestly don't like it and refuse to tell anyone.
8. IT IS SO F*CKING ITCHY!!!! Your scalp itches ALL DAY EVERY DAY. It falls out and gets stuck in your clothes (shirts, pants, bra, underwear, it's everywhere all bets are off!!). I cannot even explain the level of itching that it's reaching. And not like, "is there something in my hair?" itchy, but just regular ole it's a pain in the ass itchy.
I don't know if you'll ever decide to chop it all off (and if you don't, you're only prolonging your suffering), but if you do, just know that no matter how short or long your hair is, you're still you. And what you are is a pretty awesome person (that just so happens to watch too much Netflix and take too damn much cold medicine- yolo). Either way, you've got this.
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