Why I avoid my family "setting me up" like a hooker does Jack the Ripper.

This past Saturday, while I was at the pharmacy picking up some medicine for myself and Momma, I received a phone call from my cousin, J, asking me if I wanted to come out with him and his girlfriend, B. I said, "thanks, but I'm staying in tonight."

He of course gave me shit about it (like every single one of us does the others in our family when we're trying to talk them into something) and even called Momma to "tattle" on me. (Ass.... narc.... all of that.)

I couldn't really understand what he was saying in full, but it was something along the lines of, "you stay in every night" and "I can't believe that you're leaving your cousin hanging" and so on, so forth.

Then I received a couple of text messages from his girlfriend (who is awesome and I adore), B, (because as I said, he's a narc) that said, "Hey, I have a guy at *insert the company she works at here* that I want to introduce you to. He is VERY shy. J met him.... he' single."

And I was very much like AH-HA! I knew y'all were up to trickery of some kind.

Of course, I was all, "I'll have to go out with y'all some other time.... let me get this cold shit cleared up and then I'll go out. No worries, you guys will have the opportunity to trick me or some poor guy another time." (Even though I'm going to try and dodge this for the rest of my life).

That seemed to pacify them (or at the very least her), because my cousin quit harassing me (for now).

It's not that I'm ungrateful that when they know an awesome guy they think it would be nice to introduce me to them (I just find that no one is going to want to do what I want to do 24/7 and I'm old and set in my ways and very happy being single, so there's that).... it's just, y'all know how I feel like dating in general. A couple of years back I let J's sister talk me into going on a double/blind date with her, her wife, and a guy they worked with. It went fine and all (if you don't count the fact that I was inebriated by accident.... another story for another day), but you could clearly tell that dude and I just didn't hit it off. There was no.... what do you call it? Spark? Is that the word I'm looking for?

Anyways, as I was saying, I appreciate it and all.... but, if they keep trying I'm going to be forced to be sarcastic about it. (You know, not my personality at all.... lol). I honestly think that while J's sister was trying to trick me into just dating any single person she could find, I think B's is coming from a genuinely nice place.

BUT that doesn't mean I won't freak out about it and run away.... because as we all know, that is 157% my MO. Not too mention, in case they happen to see and/or read this someday, I feel the need to say: B, you chose my cousin as a boyfriend, you clearly do not think this kind of thing through. (You can't tell it, but I am cracking the hell up over here).

Now, if y'all will excuse me, I have to go avoid some people like it's 1888 London and I'm a woman of "questionable morals."