Letting go of Momma's car was far harder than I ever imagined.

Awhile back I talked about the fact that I had decided to sell Momma's old car (our car together) for parts, as it needed some work and I couldn't find the title. Even though I ran into some characters (and shitheads) on FB Marketplace, I made the decision that was still my best bet, as I have sold a couple of tables, AC units, etc. on there and had some luck.

Her car hadn't been driven in over two years (ever since we got Ricardo in May 2017), with the exception of moving it from Aunt Poot's to our backyard (they let us store her car in their lot while we were in the transition of being kind of homeless, but not). After her surgery she couldn't drive and since we had Ricardo, she made me assure her that I wouldn't drive it (she felt like Ricardo was much safer.... and she was right). That's why we got him.

The decision to get rid of Betsy (aka the Sunfire) was a hard one. I put it off for a long time and insisted that "one of these days" I would get around to it. But, I knew that it was something I needed to do.... something that Momma would want me to do. Afterall, she absolutely hated to have "junk" or "rundown old cars" just sitting in a yard. She said it cluttered them up and made them look trashy.

I had a couple of hits that showed some interest in good ole Betsy, with a couple of people even coming by to check it out, but they fell through. And of course there were those people that have to be assholes no matter what they're doing. It's amazing to me that there are actually people that think it's ok to just treat people horribly or say the most inappropriate things. Not as a joke between friends, but as a creeper to a stranger.

The entire process became much more draining than what I had originally envisioned it to be.

Last week though, a man contacted me and wanted to come by on Sunday with a battery (the only thing wrong with Betsy was the battery) to listen to her run. He and his wife came by Sunday morning and once he took her around the block and listened to her they decided it was a good match.

You see, they do derby. And once I got to thinking about it, the fact that Momma's car is going to be turned into a little badass brawler was extremely fitting and made me smile. But, watching them actually load it up on their trailer and drive away.... watching them take my Momma's car.... that was hard.

Not even just hard, it was.... painful. I know it seems silly, but I'd be telling lies if I said I didn't cry. I didn't want anyone to see me cry, so I tried to hold it back until I was alone, but the tears were most definitely pushing through.

In all honesty, I'm still incredibly sad about it. I know that it was something that needed to be done, and I know that Momma would be proud and would have insisted that I do it, but that doesn't make it any easier. Nothing makes any of this entire process easier.... and I do mean nothing.

But, as my Momma's daughter, I have to try.