I'm trying to whoosah through my anxiety attack and it's not working.

Today is the day that I go into the dentist to have the first round of my top teeth removed. To say that I'm nervous would be an understatement. D and I were talking about it last night and he asked me what I was most worried about.

Honestly, I'm not really sure what I'm most nervous about. I'm not excited to have to go through the pain and process of healing, but I've had many teeth removed over the years and that's not necessarily a problem. Sure, it's uncomfortable and inconvenient, but it comes with the territory. 

Maybe it's the fact that I think I have infection in one of my teeth and I'm worried that with my immune system not being what it used to be it could cause issue. Then again, I trust my dentist and antibiotics are a factor, so that's probably not it.

Perhaps it could be that I don't know how long I'll have to wait between this appointment and the next and I really just want this process to be over with so I can heal and get used to the new normal. Added to this is the fact that I'm constantly worried one of my remaining teeth are going to break off and I'll be walking around dealing with that. Hopefully, this will be only a couple of week kind of situation, but you never know. 

Then again, it could just be the itty bitty vain part of myself from deep inside calling out my insecurities and wondering if I'll still look like me. I know I will look different, but I still want to look normal and like myself. You know? 

Either way, this entire process starts off today (technically, it started on 4/26 with the actual appointment, but you know what I mean). And my amazing husband took off work early so he can meet me at our house and drive me to/from my appointment. He loves me like that.

I don't know what the healing for this all is going to look like, but since I didn't take today or tomorrow off work, hopefully it won't be too awfully terrible. I guess we'll see. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to plan out my meals of jello, mashed taters, and ensure for the next however many weeks. I know, it sounds real glamorous. And just so you're aware, the only reason I'm adding in the ensure is because my husband is convinced I'll waste away to nothing (his words, not mine). *dramatic* Wish me luck and May the Fourth be with me.