If my babies could quit growing up on me, that would be great. 🎉🧡

Our youngest guy turned five today and according to his dad, demanded cake at 7:30 this morning.

Happy Birthday, Sparkles! You may be a big ole mess, but you're my big ole mess and I wouldn't trade your sleepy ass for anything in the world!

I don't think that works how you think that works, sir. *a Netflix ramble*

I'm just going to get it on out there and admit I'm obsessed with the Netflix documentary series... I Am A Killer. I know, I know. I'm one of those people that gets sucked into true crime stories and can't seem to look away from them.

My poor husband is forced (I say forced, but really he loves me and my quirks so eh) to watch hours upon hours of this shit while we lay in bed and I'm on a binger (get it? binger instead of bender! I crack myself up). Luckily for him, it gives him the opportunity to play copious amounts of COD. So really, I'm not sure it's not a win and he says it is so I'm going with it.

We'll (mostly because I) will lay in bed for HOURS upon HOURS with our pups and watch this ridiculousness and just have so many questions.

The point is, I watch this shit all the time. Not only "I Am A Killer" but various other ones too. But I have to say, this one has me hooked. Mostly because I am learning a whole lot of things that I thought I kind of knew, but apparently had absolutely no idea about.

Like, apparently just because you're on death row doesn't mean that you won't get out of prison? Don't get me wrong, I didn't think I had a complete understanding of the death penalty. I don't think I know more about laws than an officer and I'm not on the same level as a lawyer. 

I don't claim to know everything and understand there are some things I have absolutely no clue about and probably never will have a full understanding of.

However, I thought I at least had a basic understanding of the death penalty. I thought once you were sentenced to death row there were only three options for no longer being there:

#1: you pass away while in prison awaiting your execution date

#2: you actually make it to your execution date and they... you know... xxxxx

#3: there's a rare occasion where an appeal comes through and you're re-sentenced

Apparently, those are not the only options and I am an idiot for believing it was. There are so many new laws and loopholes and things that contradict each other that I'm not even sure how law enforcement can keep up with all of it. It's kind of insane.

Speaking of insane, some of these motherf*ckers? BRO. You never really know what's going to happen. You never know if you're going to see reasoning or if this person is just a psychopath with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. 

I'm not going to lie, maybe I'm a fool, but some of these stories are so damn heartbreaking that I feel for everyone involved. And then other ones? I'm like, yeah that dude is a sociopath, definitely keep them contained. Please and thank you.

In all honesty, Netflix documentaries got me on edge and looking over my shoulder 24/7 like there's a cult leader hiding behind my shower curtain or something. Paranoid? YES. Understandable? Also, YES.

Now when you tell people you're thirty-three, it'll be the truth.

I mean… thirty-three years ago (even though you've been telling people you're thirty-three for the last year) today you were brought into this world and I’ve been lucky enough to love you for almost eighteen of them. 

You are the kindest, sweetest, most gentle and amazing human being that I’ve ever met and I’m in awe that I get to do this life with you. Marrying my hype man was definitely a fantastic decision. 

There's not a day that goes by you don't remind me how much you adore me and show me that you love me through it all. You are the pitter to my patter and everything good I have to offer the world is directly tied to you with a pretty little bow.

I never get tired of spending endless amounts of time with you and you truly are my best friend. There's no one on the planet I'm more open, honest, and myself with than you.

Simply put, you're it for me, baby. I'm hopelessly in love with you. I want you to know you can always remember to just say fuck it and move on, because we'll do it together. I've got your back throughout it all and there's nothing going to change that.

This evening is all about lovins, foot rubs, pup snuggles, cuddles, German chocolate cake, and YOU.

Happy Birthday, Gator. I love you more today than yesterday and somehow, even though it seems impossible, I’ll love you more tomorrow... and the day after that... and the day after that.

He may be a tank, but he's my massive little tank.

Happy 6th Birthday to our middle child who gives absolutely zero shits if he steals my pillow and mouth breathes in my face. You may be massive, but you’re still our wittle baby. You give the best cuddles and you're oh so warm. Those cute little faces you make? EPIC. You, your two brothers, and your daddy are my heart. I love you, buddy. You're such a good boy!!

People literally tried to make me throw in the towel on the first day.

Y'all, people didn't even wait until we were a little bit into 2023 before they decided to make me lose all faith in humanity. Like seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people? 

On Sunday, D and I decided to spend the day on his bike. We took a ride out to my aunts house in the morning and by the time we got home, Travis and Mace showed up so we could all ride up to my brothers and hang out together.

We all had a fun day and couldn't wait to get home and spend the last "free" evening before we all had to prepare ourselves to reenter the world of our regular jobs and everyday life. 

We decided to use the GPS on our way, because traffic has been a nightmare with all the construction and holidays, and it took us a route we had never been before. Sure, we've driven that way in our vehicles, but never on the bike. 

About twenty minutes from home, we were driving under a bridge coming up and we had to make a left. There was a man on the left side of the road and when we came up on him it looked like he was waiting for traffic to pass through so he could cross the street. D got into the opposite lane to ensure we wouldn't be close to him and all of the sudden he charged at us full force and tackled us.

I'm not even shitting you, he tackled us while we were driving down the road and sent us into the guardrail/almost the concrete barrier. If that wasn't enough, he proceeded to loop his arm around me and try to yank me off the back. Oh... and he had a knife. You know, in case this wasn't escalating enough to fucking begin with.

Luckily, my fight or flight instinct kicked in and my first reaction was to tighten my legs around Dev as tight as I could and just start punching the dude in the head. I don't know how D managed to keep that bike up and get us away from the man, but he did.

He didn't stop though. He chased after us and then started throwing beer bottles and pieces of concrete cinderblocks at us, Travis, and another dude that just so happened to be passing by on a bike. 

I called the police and of course Dev and Travis made sure that Mace and I were far enough away to be safe and then kept an eye out on our surroundings and where the dude took off to make sure he didn't get away. Once the police showed up I had to tell them what happened (a very short description of events as they were in pursuit immediately) and they caught and arrested the man.

I would be lying if I said this turn of events didn't freak me out a little bit. I feel like I'm usually a pretty strong person and while I have fears, I'm usually pretty good about keeping myself together. However, it's not everyday you get sucker-punched into a motorcycle accident and possibly abducted and/or assaulted. At least, I don't and if this is an everyday occurrence to y'all, please send tips.

I'm jumpy now and more on edge than I'd like to admit. My paranoia has gone up about four notches and honestly... I don't want this to affect me, but I think it is. The whole way home afterwards I couldn't get my legs to stop shaking and when D asked if I was cold I thought it through and said no. I wasn't cold, but I also couldn't stop shaking and I'm smart enough to know that's adrenaline... and possibly shock.

We're all ok. Dev hurt his leg when we went into the railing and we're both extremally sore, but considering the turn of events and how it could've went down, I'd say we're grateful to only be sore. Luckily, Travis, Mace, and the other guy weren't hurt at all. 

And while I am thankful that we're all ok and the man was arrested (thank you, nice policemen that showed up and helped even though I know I was on edge and freaking out some), I honestly just want to know what the fuck is wrong with people.

I mean, what possesses someone to tackle a person they've never met and try to assault them with a weapon for absolutely no reason at all? And I know this happens all the time and we should all be more prepared, because people just keep proving that they're the worst, but... COME ON, DUDE.

Is this really where we're at?

The only people in my family that know are my brother and Dani. The only people in D's family that know are Travis (and Mace) and his dad. We didn't want to tell alot of people, because then all they'll do is worry and freak out and honestly, I feel like my mental health is hanging on by a loose thread, so maybe let's not deal with all that right now.

Dani said she probably wouldn't ever get back on a bike again. I can't say I blame her and I would be lying if I said that thought hadn't crossed my mind at first. But you know what? I enjoy riding with my husband and spending that time together and I'll be damned if I let some asshole with an anger issue and a small dick complex ruin that for us. People aren't going to stop being horrible and doing what they do, so we all have to find a way to keep living our lives all the same.

It's shitty, but it's accurate.

Instead, I have to say I'm thankful for my husband for making me feel safe when that was the last thing I thought I would feel again. For protecting me and loving me. I'm thankful for our cousins that were with us that stood by our side and had our backs. I'm thankful for the stranger who stopped to help even though it put himself in danger. And I'm thankful for emergency personnel (from the amazing dispatcher on the phone to the patrolmen that showed up). This was an incredibly shitty moment and feeling, but we're ok. We're together and safe.

And at the end of the day, that's all that really matters.