It's all a joke until you do the math... then it's just confirmed hilarity.

It's no secret that I'm a little insane for obsessed with my husband. I'm forever hanging around him and constantly on his toes with my nose all up in his business. Honestly, he could stop walking one day and I'll probably be so close behind him we'll both topple over. He'll make sure to cushion my landing before his own and then I'll have to puppy-dog-eye my way out of his annoyance.

And you know what? I'm not even a little bit sorry about it. Why? Because he created this little monster.

That's right, Dr. Frankenstein. Let's not pretend this isn't your doing.

I've always prided myself on being able to take care of... well... myself. Not so much mentally (lord knows that train left the station a couple decades ago... if it ever was stationed to begin with), but financially and physically? I f*cking got this. I've held a full time job since I was fourteen years old and have been responsible for an entire household for as long as I can remember. So, that part? Got it... mostly (we all have our wtf moments in life).

But emotionally? Ha! If you think compartmentalizing every single thing that happens throughout your life and shoving them deep down into the deepest pit of your stomach so you can ignore it... until one day you have a mental break and never fully recover and now you're just a completely different person dealing with a life you have so many questions about and can never receive the answers to is "having it." Then yeah, I got that too.

A little backstory... as most people know, my husband and I met in a little podunk town in Florida when we were fifteen years old. We were highschool sweethearts and when I tell you that man was my dream even when he was still a boy, I'm not just whistling dixie. We were inseparable and had more love for one another than I feel most adults get to experience in a lifetime... until inseparable became separated and we didn't see each other for years. It was hard and sad and quite honestly, it f*cking sucked.

But then, like he's always had a away of doing... he found me and showed up when my entire life was about to fall into ruins. I mean, here he was trying to relearn who I was as an adult and who we were together as people and then I had a complete meltdown and became a person even I didn't know. Honestly, even I had never met the f*cking woman standing in front of him.

Did he run scared for the hills? Probably should have... but he didn't. While most people in general wouldn't want to take on that kind of tomfuckery, my husband looked me dead ass in the eyes and told me we either had it together or we didn't have f*ck all apart. He held my hand and carried me through the trenches. He dried my tears and cradled my body. He fed me and kissed me and made sure he took care of me when I couldn't even think to take care of myself. He didn't have to... it wasn't his responsibility... and yet... you would think the position was made for him.

I have alot of doubts about life... people... situations... but I never have to doubt him.

He's all of it and the it is the best part.

We both like to make jokes about the rebeginning of our relationship. I believe my exact words were something like, "I'm never getting married! No one can hold me down! VIVA LA FREEDOM!!!" Or, something dramatic like that. And he would laugh and tell me we didn't have to be married... we could just be us and that would always be enough.

Sweet, right? Yeah... it was also a dirty trick. I mean, the best kind of dirty trick, but still! I don't know how he did it... I don't know what kind of sorcery he used... but I spent the first thirty years of my life being very vocal about "never getting married" and then he locked it down in less than two years. Well... I mean, he had quite a few years of built up love behind him, but that's neither here nor there.

Less than two years. And in case you're wondering, YES! I did in fact eat crow for my wedding dinner. Thank you very much.

We joke and tease each other about this all the time... but I wouldn't change any of it. I wouldn't change the fact I get to be married to my best friend. I wouldn't change the fact the man of my dreams treats me like a fragile little princess (and yes, I can hear the feminism beating on my door but NOBODY'S HOME RIGHT NOW). I wouldn't change that I get to do life with my soulmate and the other half of myself. I wouldn't change that we have furbabies and have built a life completely unique and special to us.

At the end of the day, I'm not perfect. We're not perfect as people. But to me? Well... he's pretty f*cking spectacularly perfect to me. And to him? Well... I'm sure I'm a little demon but he loves me regardless.

Now when you tell people you're thirty-three, it'll be the truth.

I mean… thirty-three years ago (even though you've been telling people you're thirty-three for the last year) today you were brought into this world and I’ve been lucky enough to love you for almost eighteen of them. 

You are the kindest, sweetest, most gentle and amazing human being that I’ve ever met and I’m in awe that I get to do this life with you. Marrying my hype man was definitely a fantastic decision. 

There's not a day that goes by you don't remind me how much you adore me and show me that you love me through it all. You are the pitter to my patter and everything good I have to offer the world is directly tied to you with a pretty little bow.

I never get tired of spending endless amounts of time with you and you truly are my best friend. There's no one on the planet I'm more open, honest, and myself with than you.

Simply put, you're it for me, baby. I'm hopelessly in love with you. I want you to know you can always remember to just say fuck it and move on, because we'll do it together. I've got your back throughout it all and there's nothing going to change that.

This evening is all about lovins, foot rubs, pup snuggles, cuddles, German chocolate cake, and YOU.

Happy Birthday, Gator. I love you more today than yesterday and somehow, even though it seems impossible, I’ll love you more tomorrow... and the day after that... and the day after that.

A shout out to my hubby on his birthday. Aging like fine wine and shit.

Happy Birthday baby, thank you for always being you and loving me. I love you.

Hey husband, I just wanted to give a quick thanks. To who? To you, silly.

Thank you for cuddling me whenever I'm freezing. Letting me lay my head on your shoulder to sleep when I finally give in. Always having my back no matter the circumstance and without question. Knowing exactly when I need to smile and making sure you do whatever it is you have to do to accomplish that. Never admitting how horrible my hair is when we first wake up in the mornings and disputing me when I say I'm chubby. 

Forever driving on our road trips to Florida.... even though we always say I'm going to.... but I don't.

Being protective, but never trying to take my independence. Believing in fairytales even when I don't and convincing me that they're still real. Succumbing to my fake cry face and giving tickle kisses on my neck. All the things that make you the man that makes me smile with every thought and laugh with every memory. 

Thank you for being you, loving me, and living this life together. I love you more than you'll ever know. #Cauliflower

Umm, you said and did and he and they what?!!?!

I recently read an article about things people learned about their significant others after marrying them. I'm always interested in random things like that, because even though we've known each other since we were fifteen and we're married now, D and I still manage to find out new things about one another.

Hopefully though, we won't be finding out anything near the levels that some of these people did. Geesh.

Like, the woman who had a phobia of pooping in the toilet, so she'd get up in the middle of the night to shit in a dustpan and hide it from her husband. HUH?? Or, that one woman's husband drinks the tuna juice out of the can instead of draining it. EW. And let's not forget about the man that gargles everything before he swallows no matter the beverage. UGH.

I know I have some weird quirks and some random habits that people would find strange. I know I say and do things every single day that would have some people trying to have me committed. I am fully aware of this and make no excuses or apologies for it. I'm strange and not for everyone and I'm good with that. Lord knows I ain't changing at this point.

Same with D. We both have habits and traits about ourselves that either we find endearing and adorable or we just learn to live with them. Thankfully though, we don't have a lot of conflict. I'm not saying we're perfect, but our marriage is pretty f*cking fun and we love spending time together. 

Most of the things that people would find annoying or strange about me D finds adorable, and most of the things that people would find unusual or irritating about D I find sweet and charming. It just works and why fix something that ain't broken?

I mean, D does think I'm strange for eating "hot" pudding. I tried to tell him that "cook and serve" pudding is meant to be eaten warm (I don't know that for a fact, but it clearly was helping my argument at the time and now this is a hill I have to remain standing on), but no matter how much he sees me do it, it still blows his mind and freaks him out. I'm sure there are things about him that freak me out, but I can't think of any right now. Go figure. 

We're weird. Strange even. Borderline abnormal. It works and we love it. We wouldn't trade each other or the relationship we have for anything on the planet. It's amazing and freeing and makes me feel warm just thinking about it. 

*insert gag for being so mushy here*

But rest assured, if either of us find the other shitting in a dustpan and hiding it in the bushes (or anywhere for that matter) or drinking tuna out of the can, we will be sure to piledrive the other. Because ain't nobody trying to live with either of those things.

My husband is not fun to wake up.... but a gal's gotta do it.

My life is an eternal battle of my need for attention right this second vs. my apprehension of waking my bear of a husband up for no reason at all except to give me said attention. But, he still loves me and I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Hubba.... Hubba.... Hubby. 😍 (He's so damn.... just.... just damn!) 😍

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, D and I have some of the most random conversations. At this point in our lives neither one of us is surprised by what comes out of the other ones mouth. 

For example, the other night we were messing around and getting ready for bed and out of nowhere, D looks at me and says, "so, I heard a TikTok song on the radio today." To which I replied, "holy shit, was it the Applebee's song?" We then proceeded to have a fifteen minute conversation about how we didn't know it was a legitimate song and how it blew our minds when we figured it out together on the same day.

Followed by looking up the song and listening to it together and discussing how catchy it was.

Like, what?! What is even happening?!! Who in their right mind has an entire conversation (the length of a bedtime routine!) about trendy songs they didn't know were real? Even that sentence doesn't make sense! 

And it didn't even stop there. We still randomly talk about it when we're laying in bed or look at each other with big eyes when it happens to come on the radio. LIKE WE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS LEGIT AND WE'RE JUST LEARNING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME EVERY SINGLE TIME.

But, you know what? I wouldn't want to share my randomness with anyone else. It's a very freeing feeling when you're so comfortable with yourself and your person that nothing is off limits. D told me one time that he couldn't believe all the things we talk about as a married couple. Things he thought were forever off limits apparently went out the window as soon as we signed that marriage license. Now, nothing is off limits. NOTHING. 

I know that doesn't sound very convincing seeing as I used the "Applebee's song" as my example, but I swear, it gets much more insane and disgusting. The good, the bad, the ugly.... the motherf*cking fugly. The list goes on from there. I'm pretty sure there are times the people around us think to themselves, "would y'all f*cking stop already?! you're too much! we don't want to know all that!" Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that part? We're so used to it being just the two of us (and our pups!) that we sometimes forget when we're around other people and discuss very graphic and/or disgusting things like we're in our own little world. (#mypoorinlaws)

The world of Devon and Katie, where whatever we want together reigns supreme. It's a good world to live in. You know, if you're us. We just hang out in it and adore each other. (And yeah, I know how cringey that sounds).

I'd be lying if I said I didn't love the fact that to my husband I am a wife, best friend, confidant, lover, homie, nurse, auctioneer, lawyer, accountant, surgeon, mama bear, baker, movie critic, hillbilly, hippie, coffee maker, singer, and his love. I love that he thinks I could take over the world and I'm the smartest person he's ever known. I adore the fact that he's convinced I could fight my way through anyone and actually thinks I have my shit together. Even though he literally sees the fact that I don't every single damn day of our lives. He calls me his "beautiful blue-eyed barefoot bandit" and that somehow always makes me melt into a puddle of goo and blush like there's no tomorrow.

Hello everyone, my husband is the ultimate hype man.

My husband informed me that he forgot the majority of our wedding.

With our one year anniversary coming up (also, how have we actually been married almost a full year now and you haven't smothered me in my sleep?), D and I have been talking about what to do to celebrate. Originally, we wanted to rent a cabin in the woods, maybe on a lake, somewhere and spend an extended weekend there. You know, since we didn't really have a honeymoon or anything.

But, with finances being what they are and another bout of Covid making the rounds, I don't think we're actually going to be going anywhere. And I feel bad for disappointing D, but I think we can still have a good time and do things together and celebrate our anniversary without spending a shit ton of money or potentially staying in a house that is rampant with the new plague. As long as we're together, right?

All of that being said aside though, I am very excited to spend our anniversary together and celebrate however we end up doing it. I don't care what we do, as long as I'm with D and our pups and we get to spend time together and have fun. That's all I really care about. I don't need some fancy vacation or big romantic gesture (although, if D wants to get a little romantical, I wouldn't stop him **wink wink**), I just want to be with my husband and enjoy the fact that we're together, married, happy, and living our lives with one another.

Which coincidentally is everything I've ever wanted out of a marriage. I always said if I did ever get married, that I wanted my husband to be my best friend and my constant source of comfort. And, I was lucky enough to get that. So no, I don't need anything fancy or expensive to make me enthused and grateful to be together. He's enough. Always has been, always will be.

We have been talking about our wedding recently though, you know with the whole one year thing. We had such a good day and it was everything we wanted. Nothing huge or fancy, just simple like us. Surrounded by family and friends (even though not everyone got to come, we appreciate the effort!) and just being us.

D informed me that he forgot parts of our wedding though. When I asked him how (I mean, it's not even a full year yet!), he let me know that he remembers everything leading up to us getting married (it was an entire shit show and yes, I was an hour and a half late to my own damn wedding), and everything after we got married. He remembers my vows and he remembers crying. He said other than that, nothing. Why? Because apparently when he first got to see me in my dress as we were walking towards the aisle, he said everything just f*cking stopped and all he could see was me.

He informed me that he had never seen anyone more beautiful and he couldn't believe he actually got to marry me, so he just held my hands and prayed I said "I do."

Now how in the hell am I supposed to respond to that? If that isn't one of the sweetest, most amazing things that you can say to your wife (trust me, he said it way more romantic and endearing than I did), then I don't know what is. I'm almost 100% positive the man just wants to make my heart and panties implode at every possible opportunity. No worries, I'm good with it.  

But yeah, that's where we are with it. Our one year anniversary is coming up and hopefully it will be a good one that we'll remember for a long time. Also, can I just get a fist bump for landing a husband that's totally out of my league? I feel like we haven't addressed this and I think I deserve a pat on the back or a high-five.... something. Because damn, I did good.

A random post about life before marriage that has no substance.

When I used to talk to people about significant others, they would always ask me why I never wanted to get married. It was the usual "you should get married and have babies" spiel that I heard from the time I was thirteen until I actually got married (people start talking about marriage and babies young in the holler).

I would always answer them, but my answer never seemed to placate them. Sure, answering "I like to do what I want, when I want, with who I want without anybody giving me shit for it" probably wasn't the best way to get people to see my side, but it was so honest that I couldn't help myself.

And no, I didn't get married just so people would leave me alone about it (although, I do have to admit that is a nice little bonus).

While all of that is the truth, the real reason that I got married was simple. I love my husband. I have since we were fifteen years old and the thought of him being married to someone other than myself literally makes my blood boil and I want to fling bitches by their hair like I'm throwing a three year old's temper tantrum. But, I digress, because y'all don't need to know how crazy I am.

When we were both still single though (a couple of months before D drove 1,000 miles), one of my aunts asked me what it would take for me to get married. My answer was simple:

"I want my husband to adore me. Like, so much he can't even stand it. I just want him to love the shit out of me. Also, mow the grass and take out the trash so I don't have to. Tell me I'm pretty, make me laugh, binge watch tv with me, give me some lovin, and for the love of all that's holy, do all the maintenance on my car even though that it is 100% not your responsibility or problem, because we both know I'm not gonna do it."

She thought that was a funny list of "demands" (her word, not mine), but I was completely serious. I mean, the whole point of marriage is to be a team and have each others back, right? So damn, I'll do my part, but I ain't asking for much!

Luckily, as fate would have it, I got all of the things that I ever wanted and much more. You ever heard the term made for each other? Yeah, well.... here we are. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

We watched movies and made chicken wraps and hid from the world.

This past weekend was so damn hot and humid that it was ridiculous. Now, hear me out. I'm aware that people are super excited about warm weather and they have no desire for ice and snow and sleet.... I get it. I really do. 

BUT, COME ON, DUDE.

It'll be September the day after tomorrow and I for one CANNOT wait until it cools off some. No, it doesn't have to be extremely cold weather (although, I do prefer the cold), but fall weather? With the leaves falling and the cool breeze blowing, baking, and watching scary movies while wearing sweatpants and hoodies?! 

YES.

Alas, here we are and this shit is ridiculously.... well, ridiculous.

So, D and I stayed in all weekend (with the exception of a grocery store run yesterday afternoon) with our pups and we cooked together and watched movies. We watched a few things (in between my lovable husband's naps), but what really stuck out was the movies "Sweet Girl" and "Vacation Friends." They're both extremely good. If you're wanting something a little more serious, go with Sweet Girl. If you want to laugh your ass off to the point where you're clutching your stomach with tears in your eyes, definitely check out Vacation Friends.

We also made homemade chicken/bacon wraps. Why? Because when we're alone together we like to do all kinds of things, but one of the main things is we love to cook together. Usually if I'm baking, D will just stand back and watch me do my thing. But, when we cook together we both participate. We usually always cook together (whether one of us is helping with sides or cleanup and the other is doing the main thing) and we've made up some pretty good stuff over the years.

These chicken/bacon wraps though? D marinated our chicken (separately, because his ass wanted to use ghost pepper on his and I ain't about that life) and I fried up the bacon and once it was all combined and cooked through (with D using our grill for the majority of it), it was so delicious.

Seriously, I think I have drool coming out of my mouth.

Also, on a completely unrelated note, (but speaking of drool), I have found that when I cough now (and sometimes laugh), I drool. Like, full on, I have to put a napkin or dishrag up to my face, because I can't quit drooling. It's quite laughable.

We also decided to order cupcakes on Saturday from a bakery known as "The Flying Cupcake" and y'all.... those cupcakes were so good, but they are HUGE and we didn't realize it, so needless to say, we had to give some away and share, because there was no way in all holy hell that we could eat all of those.

What else? Oh, we started watching Prison Break.... and now I want to be home, cuddled up with my hubby and our pups, in pajamas, eating delicious food, catching a buzz, and laughing and spending time together.

Ah, the joys of being an adult. Whose idea was this anyway?

My husband informed me (and everyone else) that I am the Alpha.

Last week (I think, Friday?) D was on the phone with his dad and his dad made a comment/joke about how D needed to tell me what was gonna happen whether I liked it or not. D straight up just laughed at his dad and was like, "nah, I like my balls where they are, I'm good." And his dad started teasing him and asked if I always got my way.

D's answer was priceless and if I could've stopped laughing long enough, I would've given him a kiss. You see, his reply to that comment was, "ssshhhhiiiiittttt, umm yeah! You don't tell your Alpha what the f*ck to do, so why in the hell would I swell up to mine? Are you insane?!" 

Now, when it comes to our relationship, I don't really think we have an "Alpha." We tend to talk things out and when something is bothering one, we try to navigate our way through and find a common ground that can make both of us feel good. It sounds a little cookie cutter, but it works for us and we're happy, so I see no reason in trying to fix something that isn't broken.

But, to hear him joke around and say shit like that? I'd be lying if I said that I didn't find it hilarious and adorable. And he does it All. The. Time. He literally gives zero f*cks about what anyone thinks and wears that badge like it's a f*cking gold star. And I love him all the more for it. 

I of course talked to my friend BD about it and she said it was "big facts" that I am an Alpha and when I told her that D informed me that I don't have a damn submissive bone in my entire body, her reply describing him was the absolute best:

"That's big ole facts!!!! But lucky for you, D is completely fine with your independent Alpha self and that's a really rare thing!!! Most men are too intimidated by it... he should open a school and teach these men right!!!"

Of course I'm biased, but he could teach those dudes a whole hell of a lot of things, BUT they still wouldn't be as great as him. He loves that I'm independent and a little (lot) psycho. Seriously, he loves all nineteen of my personalities and they all love him just as much, if not more at an insane level.

I most definitely lucked out and hit the jackpot of my dreams.

My hubby informed me that I'm it and I am here for it.

As most people that have met us know, D and I talk about the most random things sometimes. There is no such thing as a filter and honestly, we're pretty crass with each other for the most part. Don't get me wrong, we're not nasty to each other or anything, we just have the benefit of our relationship being between people who happen to love each other and are also best friends.

And I always thought that was weird, you know, saying that the person that you're in a relationship with is your best friend, because then who are you supposed to bitch to about your significant other? 

Well, that doesn't really qualify for us, as when he pisses me off or vice versa, we simply tell each other why we're pissed off or we hold a grudge for a day or two and then we're back.

We're lucky. We don't fight or argue, we rarely have disagreements. And when we do have disagreements, we talk it out and eventually find a common ground that we can both live with and move on from.

I'm stubborn and he's easy to anger, so we both just step back and try to look at it from the others point of view. So far, it works very well for us.

But, like I said, our disagreements are very few and far between. We would just rather be happy instead of nitpicking each other. Who in the hell wants to live miserably anyway? I certainly don't. 

More importantly, we LOVE to mess with each other. Whether it be little comments or smacking each others butts when we walk by, we like to play around. We also seem to have most of our in-depth talks either on our backporch (when it's evening time and we're grilling or just hanging out) or especially our kitchen. Don't ask me why we have our most important talks in the kitchen, but it just happens.

I was feeling a little more emotional a couple of weeks ago than I normally do (hey! it happens to all of us and I was just having a really bad day, ok?!) and in true D fashion, he was joking around with me and talking about the most random things to try and make me feel better. We were talking about a dude we know having a few "side chicks" and I asked D if I was his "side chick" as a joke. His response however? It was charming. He said, and I quote:

"Sweetheart, you're my side chick, my main chick, my only chick, my wife, my love, my best friend, my go to.... hell, you're even my hush hush chick. You're it for me, baby. Get used to it."

And to say that he actually got me to stop rambling and be quiet after that, would be an understatement. Everybody should get to be as lucky as I am in the husband department.  

Marriage has made me even stranger than I already was.

D and I made a deal a couple of weeks ago. I say "we" but what I really mean is D came up with a genius idea and since it was mostly in benefit of me, I was all for it.

You see, D hates and I mean absolutely HATES doing the dishes. The man will literally rinse off the dishes and stack them up in the prettiest little piles ranged from size and importance, but WILL NOT actually wash them to save his entire life.

Therefore, a deal was made. He suggested that if he never has to do the dishes then I will never have to do laundry. And, since I was doing both of those things before he suggested that, that meant that he was taking on something that I'll never have to do (even though, I probably will at some point).

This deal has been going on for the last couple of weeks and while it has worked in my benefit somewhat, the fact of the matter is, I have discovered that if I don't put things away myself, I will lose everything. He does a fantastic job, but that doesn't stop me from apparently forgetting where anything in our house is located at 6:00am when I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

This morning for example, I was running late (because I had to actually use all of the force and will in my body to move and get up this morning) and couldn't find any of my underwear to save my entire life. I woke D up and asked him where they could be, but he just said and I quote, "just wear mine, it'll be fine" and he rolled back over and fell back asleep. I thought it was a ridiculous suggestion, because who wears other peoples underwear?

Well, apparently I do now. Because here I stand at work all day wearing my husband's underwear. And frankly, I'm irritated. Why? Because men's underwear are far more comfortable and superior to women's underwear and I can't stop thinking about how much easier life could be if I just always wore my husband's underwear instead of my own.

See?!!?! Marriage has made me f*cking weird. (Well, weirder than I already was, which let's be honest, was already pretty extreme). Eh, I'm good with it.

❤️❤️ Marriage License ✔️✔️

 

I got real lazy (no surprise there!) about planning our wedding.

So, instead of running around like a madwoman to find all of the things that we needed to finish this ordeal out, I got onto Amazon and just ordered the last things that we needed. Sure, we still have to get D's suit, make the table decorations (although I did buy the flowers so all we'll have to do is put them in the wood that's hollowed out), and make the food. But, that's it.

The rest of it, once I receive all those Amazon packages is DDOOONNNNNEEEEEE.

And I couldn't be happier about it. Say what you will, but planning everything out for a wedding is stressful as hell, and while I used to make fun of women for it, I have come to realize that the struggle is real. We're not even having a big wedding, just small and simple, and it's still SO much work. Honestly, it's all worth it, but still.

Some things I've learned since my boyfriend asked me to marry him.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that? I know I talked about how my boyfriend was trying to talk me into marriage and I didn't know how anything was going to unfold. Well, guess what?

I still have no f*cking clue.

But, he did ask. And apparently it needs said, because my entire family and all my friends were like "well.... what did you say?"

I said yes.

He actually had to propose twice (ok, he didn't "have to" but he did), because he actually got my ring from his grandmother and mother. You see, the engagement ring was his grandmother's and the band was his mothers. And that to me is better than getting some new ring, because it's more special (or at least, that's my opinion on it).

But, in his haste to propose (at our home while I was wearing no makeup and cooking dinner in my pajamas), he proposed with the band. I didn't want to tell anybody until I had the chance to tell Dani, but made the exception for him to tell his mom, because come on, it's his mom. He sent her the picture of me wearing it and she was like, "aw sweetie, wrong ring." So, he did it again. And that's just too good apart of the story to leave out for me.

With all of that being said, I thought I would share some of the things that I've "learned" since becoming engaged.

#1: I never thought the day would come where if I ever decided to get married, I wouldn't have Momma here with me: and I don't care for it one bit. In the interest of full disclosure, Devon talked to Momma about asking me to marry him before she passed away. I know this, because she mentioned a little something about it to me. I think she did it just so I wouldn't know he was going to ask, but so I knew when he finally did, she more than approved. We used to watch that show "Say Yes to the Dress" together all the time, and would just have fun with it. But, never did I think the day would come to where she wouldn't physically be here with me if I ever had to say yes to a dress. And I know she's here in spirit and in my heart, but it still hurts and I would be lying if I said I knew how to process any of this. (I don't).

Side note: Devon told me when he asked her she kind of chuckled and said, "that girl will marry you, but she'll never change her mind about babies." It's amazing how well she knows me.

#2: Everyone thought that I was going to "die alone" as an old spinster: which to be fair, isn't that far of a stretch. I've always said that marriage and kids are not for me (and I still maintain my stance on the not having kids part) and I like to spend enormant amounts of time alone. Well, alone with my pups at least. I know most people find the company of others to be comforting, but me, not so much. I prefer to be by myself (mostly). I don't know why, but I just do, and I've always been ok with that. When I made the comment, "wow, alot of people thought I was gonna die alone" my brother let me know that whether anybody else did or not.... he definitely did. Thanks, bro.

#3: Wedding dress shopping seems a lot more challenging and expensive than tv would leave you to believe: there's not an endless supply of dresses you love in your price range. I decided to just "look" at wedding dresses online, even though I have no idea when we will get married. But, I thought that since I didn't want anything real "fancy" that the process would be relatively painless. I. Was. F*cking. Wrong. Did you know that "legit" bridal places don't usually even have dresses for less than $300? And yeah, I know people spend much more money on those kinds of things, but I have no desire to be forking out almost an entire mortgage payment (or more!) for ONE DRESS.

#4: While I usually love the fact that Devon doesn't have too much to say about the way I dress/look, I find it very irritating that he won't give me an opinion on what kind of wedding dresses he likes: it's a simple question(s), dude.... THERE ARE TOO MANY OPTIONS. He's all, "it's your dress, it doesn't matter what I like and don't like, it's for you to pick out and love." And while that's usually a sweet sentiment and I love him for it, I'm also like dude this is hard, help a gal out. Then he mentioned something about a poofy camo wedding dress and while I love camo I had to look at him like he was smoking crack rock. Then he mentioned a black wedding dress. But when I said something about an "off white" dress he was all, "you don't wanna wear white?!" I was forced to tell him that "white" is traditionally for virgins, because it's a sign of purity, and we've known each other since we were fifteen, THE JIG IS UP. Needless to say, I still have no idea what I'm doing.

#5: And not that I had any doubt about it, but I'm real happy that I'll have a different last name: for a long time Momma and I talked about me changing my last name (I would have taken her maiden name) and we always said that I would do that by the time I'm thirty. Well, I might not be married and have an official different last name by the time I'm thirty, but I'm on the way.

Basically, I've learned that I need a nap and a drink. Oh, and while I like Say Yes to the Dress, it's a bag of horseshit.